"An elf? A real elf?" Ron was shocked when he heard the news later in the common room. "There really rare now, they don't like humans vary much since the war."
"War?" Harry asked over his drawing he had been working on for the better part of the last half hour.
"It was a really long time ago, there was a war between human and elf, the humans won, that's the vary start of house elves. We enslaved the ones we caught and they evolved over the many, many years to the poor little things we know today." Hermione said sadly and added, "Of course I don't blame elves for hating humans after what we did to so many of them."
"Then why is Lady here?" Ron said.
"Well it was a long time ago, maybe she's forgiven us?"
"Maybe, I bet Dumbledor has a big part in her having forgiven us, I wonder how many more have done so too." Harry said erasing a large part of his dragons wing in annoyance before crumbling it and throwing into the fire.
"What did you do that for! It was really good!" Hermione looked shocked.
"No it wasn't." Harry said taking another blank sheet and trying again.
They were in the common room still even though most people had left for bed. Harry was creating and elaborately detailed drawing of a girl laying on a large tome stone in a cemetery, roses (he likes roses) and vines snaking round the base of the stone. An old willow tree was drawn over the girl and its branches fell around her.
Hermione was reading by the fire and Ron still hadn't finished his homework, hence the reason they were still up. The portrait hole opened and Harry looked up to see Professor McGonagal climb through.
She spotted Harry, "Oh good your still up. Potter I need you to come with me immediately." She turned and left after motioning for him to follow.
"Oh joy." he muttered.
"We'll wait up."
She didn't lead him to her office like he had expected, instead they walked past her corridor and up a flight of stairs. Dumbledor's office wasn't far from now and the feeling you get when your called to a teacher's office increased tenfold.
What's happened? He wondered as he followed McGonagal up the rotating staircase and through the door. He didn't seem to be in trouble, he could tell by the sympathetic glances McGonagal was shooting him every now and then.
Dumbledor was sitting behind his desk looking quite disturbed. McGonagal motioned for Harry to take a seat. It was then that he noticed the girl in the chair next to the one McGonagal had signalled to. It was Lucy, Lupin's niece, she was crying into the neck of the doll she brought with every where.
Oh no!
"Evening Harry, by the look on your face it seems to be that you've guess the overall meaning of this meeting." Dumbledor said observing Harry over his half-moon spectacles.
"You mean to say...?" Harry stared desperately at Dumbledor, hoping to god he had come up with the wrong conclusion.
"Remus Lupin's home was found in ruin with the dark mark above it, Harry. Remus is dead. Im sorry Harry." He stopped and looked towards the little form in her little black frock, and sighed. "We'll leave the two of you alone for a few minutes." and he stood walking over to the door and holding it open for McGonagal to go through first. The door closed behind them, Harry felt panic suddenly well up in his chest and he whipped around to look at the closed door, his hand went to his hair, he griped the front of it as if it were a life line.
Lupin's dead. Lupin's dead. Lupin's dead. Lupin's dead. Lupin's dead. It kept running through his numb mind over and over. Lupin was fucking killed in his home. Mom. Dad. Sirius. Lupin. Uncle, aunt and cousin. Dead, dead DEAD!
He stood and started pacing. Lucy was watching him fearfully as he put his hand on the back of the chair he was sitting in before.
"Not again! This can't be fucking happening! What is wrong with me!" he sank to his knees still holding the back of his chair, he buried his head in his arms. Ohmygodohmygodohmygod, OH MY GOD!
He heard pounding feet and then he felt Lucy fly at him. Knocking him to the gound, her small arms were around his neck and a tinny face was against his chest crying. He used this as a good excuse to distract himself. He sat up, with Lucy in his lap crying her eyes out. Muttering to himself, he said, "Oh come on Lupin, two children have come to you over the summer because of dead family and you go ahead and die on us!" he didn't know why he felt angry, was he angry at Lupin? No. He was angry at the ones who killed him.
He remembered how he felt when Sirius died, the feeling that of an empty hole had just erupted in his chest, he felt now like another had clasped in on him. It was now that Dumbledor and McGonagal came in, they froze. They saw Harry and Lucy on the floor, Lucy was crying into Harry's neck and Harry was still muttering angrily to himself his head bowed, both seemed unaware to the Professor's reentry.
McGonagal walked quietly to the pair on the floor and knelt down on the floor behind them and placed a hand on Harry's shoulder. He looked around at her, just realising she was there.
"Why does this always Happen to me?"
:xXx:meanwhile:
Ron and Hermione sat in McGonagal's office. She and Dumbledor had asked that they wait there, for they have terrible news, they did not doubt that they were telling Harry what ever it was right now. It was about an excruciatingly long half hour later that McGonagal came back in looking warn.
"Mr. Weasley, Miss. Granger." Greeted as she sat down behind her desk.
"Where's Harry and what's wrong?"
"Harry had to be brought to the Hospital wing for a calming potion and rest. He's quite a wreck and put up a bit of a fight. I didn't know he had an ounce of foul mouth in him..." she broke off. "Are you ready to be told what I told Mr. Potter?"
They nodded looking scared.
"Remus Lupin was found dead in his home which was left in ruins after a death eater attack, the dark mark was left at around ten thirty this night." she fell silent, no one spoke, no one moved, no one breathed.
xXx
With the next morning came visitors; his teachers and his two closest friends. He had refused to talk about it to any of then. It was hardly seven o'clock and he'd already been in a screaming match with McGonagal, made Hermione cry even more, made Pomfry lock herself in her office because he had told her to fuck off and go to hell. Professor Dumbledor was called to talk to him about behaviour twice before and he was next Harry for a third time right now.
"Harry, this is not the way to make it go away, by making everyone else feel bad wont undo what happened!" he said exasperated.
"No it wont, but it makes me feel great." he glared at Dumbledor as he said that.
"Harry," a little more sternly now, "I don't want to have to remove you from the school, but if you don't get a hold on your self I may have to."
"And where would I go? I don't have a home, I don't have anyone!"
"Oh yes you have a home you just wont like it. Grimald place is rightfully yours as you know."
"You wouldn't make me go there!"
"I would."
After that conversation Harry quieted down, he not only refused to talk about Lupin, but he refused to talk at all. Harry felt completely lost, Dumbledor is telling him to behave or he'd send him to Sirius's old house. Harry was just to warn, he didn't care about the whole damn wizarding wold anymore, it could kiss his ass goodbye! After they let him out of this place he was going...he was going...he didn't know where to go, or what to do. Was he stuck here? Did he have enough money for an apartment? How long would that take, he'd have to get a job too. Where would he go in the mean time, would he be able to survive on the streets again? No.
Dumbledor had made each teacher in turn come and see if they could get anything out of him, but each time they doubted Harry even knew they were there and left the hospital wing discouraged.
Snape's turn was the last, every teacher who knew Harry had already see him and now it was Snape's turn to see the brat. He'd been told the brat just lay on his back staring at the ceiling, not acknowledging anything or anyone.
Snape pushed the double doors open silently and swept in. He didn't find what the rest of the teachers had seen, Potter wasn't laying on his back silently. He was instead, turned away from Snape on his side, the boy's back shook and Snap could hear sobs coming form Harry Potter. He had froze, what was he supposed to do with an out of control teenager! Potter was fully dressed laying on top of the sheets, he even had his shoes on.
Don't you know how rude that is? He thought, it was the only thing he could think about. The famous Harry Potter, son of his arch enemy was crying, decked out in the blackest clothing he'd ever seen on a student, he was even surprised to see a tattoo on the boys wrist that stuck out of his long sleeved muggle shirt, and all he could think of was it was how rude it is to where shoes in someone else's bed? Christ!
"What are you talking about!" he jumped. Had he spoken out loud? He hadn't even noticed that the boy had stopped crying and was glaring at him through watery, red eyes. "What's rude?"
"Never you mind Potter. What is the meaning of this? I find you sobbing like a child!" Anger was the only emotion he trusted in a circumstance like this.
"What do you care!"
What was he supposed to answer? The truth would telling him, he didn't care but Dumbledor did and that's why he's here. Or Snape could say, something sappy like; Its his job to care as one of his teachers.
"See? You don't."
"Maybe so, but im curious as to why your sitting here doing nothing and feeling sorry for yourself." he received a death glare.
"Do nothing?" was all he said.
"Well you can't honestly think your doing anything by shunning every one like a spoiled child who didn't get his way."
"What's there to do! I can't do anything! I don't get to do anything I want!"
"You insolent...you..! Of course you don't get to everything you want, that's life Potter live with it, people aren't..."
"You don't get it do you? I don't have any choices, and I never had any. Im being treated like a bloody puppet. I have to be good or some else will have to deal with me. Be a good dog and do as im told or they'll send me away." the bitterness in his voice made it hard for Snape to not understand what he felt. Ok so the boy feels totally out of control, maybe he's not an out of control teenager, it's the other way around around, he feels people are controlling him. Snape gazed at the now still form of Potter. The boy had rolled back onto his side and refused to move, so Snape left.
xXx
With in the next week, Harry was talking to a select number of people again, he didn't shout at the teachers anymore and he had cooled down around Ron and Hermione. He still felt like shit, but at least Lucy was aloud to see him now (Dumbledor wouldn't let her near him when he was still in his other state). They let him leave the hospital the following Thursday, but was excused from classes. He spent all of his time in the dorm, Lucy was with him most of the day, and was staying in Hermione's dorm.
Today how ever he sat alone on his bed, the curtains pull shut. He was thinking about every thing he had said to Snape the week before. How he was completely out of control of his life. What the hell had happened to ensure himself as a puppet? He wanted to go back to how it used to be, before the Dursley's had died. He didn't like them, and they down right hated him, but they left him alone most of the time.
He lay back down on his pillow. Maybe it was time to send Alex and BJ a letter. He fell asleep sometime later thinking about his past life away from Hogwarts.
The hallway of number four Privet drive was dark and motionless.
"What am I doing here?" he said aloud to himself. The switch to the hall light wouldn't work so he looked for his wand, he didn't have it. He began walking in the direction of the kitchen, strangely it was the only door in the whole hall and it seemed a lot farther away than he remembered. He kept walking and didn't get any closer, instead the farther he walked the further away the door seemed to become. He began to run, faster and faster until he was at a flat out run. His foot caught on something and he went crashing to the ground. He whipped around and saw someone with a gun laying loosely in one hand. On the walls was the blood of the fallen figure he'd tripped over. Harry got closer and realized who it was...
"Whoa!" Harry's eyes snapped open and he sat up quickly. He felt a sudden feeling in the pit of his stomach and rushed to the bathroom to rid him self of it. When he had finished puking his guts out, he pulled the toilet seat down and sat on it, his elbows on his knees and his hands over his face.
It was Uncle Vernon who shot himself so why was it Lupin lying dead in my dream? He didn't want to think about his dream anymore so looked up at the ceiling and then at the wall, trying to find anything to distract himself. Nothing seemed to cut it so he just sat trying to quiet his thoughts in numerous attempts. One way he tried to think of Quiddich trials that were starting tomorrow. They'd have to replace most of the team since most were gone...gone...like Lupin but you can't simply replace him, or Sirius. He stood pacing for a while before, he caught him self in the mirror and leaned his hands against the sides of the porcelain sink placed just below the mirror. He looked past his reflection, looking at the mirror itself. He opened it opened and took out the bottle of sleeping pills and turned toward the door.
Im staking another nightmare by going to sleep...he put them back, as he changed his mind and walked form the room.
He had a sneaking suspicion that his bed was cursed, it seemed as hard as rock at times, this was one of them, he didn't think he could stand laying on it for the four hours until classes were over and he could distract himself from his endless stream of thoughts. They felt like poison to him, slowly killing him inside out like the venom of some spider. Again he fell asleep though this time, the haunting image of Lupin didn't come.
He was awoken sometime later by Ron shaking him.
"Food." was all he said as he waited for Harry to drag himself from the bed and to the door. "You'll get in shit for that." Ron said indicating the picture on Harry's shirt of a clown with bloody fangs and an inscription above it saying; Don't Fuck With The Clown
"Yes mother." He knew the look on McGonagal's face would be priceless but he didn't really want to cause trouble at the moment so took off the shirt, And probed through his clothing finding a black, long, sleeve button down shirt. He pulled it on, buttoning it up as he walked form the room. He put his wand in the back pocket of his black jeans.
"Cool necklace." Ron said looking at the small pendant that sat on Harry's chest, Harry didn't answer just did up the last bottons covering the pendant from view.
He wasn't hungry, and picked at his potatoes, his mind back on the nightmare he had earlier.
"Hello, earth to Harry!" Ron was waving his hand in front of Harry's face.
"What?"
"Hermione asked if you wanted any meat?" He said. Hermione held a plate out to him.
He gave it a look of disgust, "No thanks." He didn't think he could stomach eating a big chunk of gooey animal muscle right now. Hermione rolled her eyes but didn't say anything.
"Where's Lucy?" He said looking around? She usually sat with them at dinner.
"She didn't tell you? Dumbledor sent her to Grimald Place."
"What!" the people around him jump and looked wearily to him, inching away from his rage.
"You where asleep and she said she didn't want to wake you up, she was afraid you would be mad, so she told me to give you this." Hermione held out a folded piece of parchment to him. He took it and looked down, words had failed him, so he was silent as he unfolded it. It was a drawing, done by Lucy, it featured three people with arow's above each head with a name so he would know who was who even though it was easy to tell by the drawing. The first, and tallest, was Lupin, smiling and waving, he was done in brown, as he wore mostly all brown, next came Harry, black clothing like usual, was drawn and he too was smiling and waving, and Lucy was beside him, the smallest figure, again waving and smiling
Despite the sun in the drawing, water droplets littered the paper, it took him a moment to realise the droplets were his own addition to the drawing as silent tears rolled down his cheeks, onto the paper. He was sure that the black eyeliner he now wore daily, was running along with the tears. He wasn't sure if his friends could see him crying as his head was bent forward and his long bangs covered his face to his nose. He stop the water faucet and whipped his face on his sleeve.
"Im going to bed." He said quickly, standing and walking as fast as he could out of the Great Hall. Once he reached the corridor he broke into a sprint only to collide into someone coming around the corner. Harry and the other person were sent flying, before hitting the ground in various degrees of disarray.
Harry was on his feet in a flash, looking down at Malfoy who began to stand, testing a now sore ankle gingerly.
"What the Hell's you problem Potter?" He gave Harry a push, Harry pushed him back angrily, it had been quite awhile since he'd gotten into a fight, and he finds that fighting is the best way to blow steam, and he'd been fairly pissed off lately.
"At the moment, you're my problem."
"At the moment, you two are now in detention for Saturday evening." The greasy voice of Professor Snape came around the same corner Malfoy had come.
"I will be expecting the two of you in my office by eight o'clock Saturday, understand?" After a moment they nodded and he stalked off in the direction of the Great hall, followed by Malfoy moments later. Harry was now alone, standing in the corridor absolutely seething.
He picked up Lucy's drawing from its resting place against the wall, where he dropped it.
He set off to his former destination, reaching the portrait hole he gave the password and was soon back in the dorm room. He took a sleeping pill form the bottle in the bathroom and went to his bed. It wasn't long before he was, for the third time that day, asleep, the most he'd slept in months and months and all in one day.
The next time he opened his eyes was too the reassuring darkness of the boy's dorm room. Once again he'd dreamt, the same scenario as before, except this time, it was worse; In stead of just Lupin's body laying in his path, there were a great deal of them, a bloody body of every person he new or didn't (his parents for example) littered the everlasting length of the hall of number four Privit Drive. He was so tired and at the same time, so damn disturbed by what he'd seen, smelt, experienced within his head. Once again, he went to the bathroom to empty his stomach of what little supper he had hours ago. His watch read three o'clock a.m. in the morning, he knew sleep wouldn't return for him this night, despite the feeling of absolute exhaustion tugging at his eye lids. His whole mind felt heavy, and his thoughts turned off completely. He leaned heavily against the wall of the bathroom, before turning minutes later back to his bed.
A quarter to four in the morning, Harry rose from his bed of stone, that's what it felt like, and staggered back to the bathroom. He lay stupidly inside the bathtub hoping the cool sides of the tubs wall would lull him out of his misery, but he had no such luck, as his mind finally registered the absurdity of what he was trying to do and stood. The first thing to meet him once he stood was his reflection. What a wreck he had become, and he decided he could bear to look at himself so he popped the mirror open to reveal tooth brushes and other things of the like, but the thing that caught his attention were the sleeping pills. His mind went blank, totally, completely, he felt nothing, he thought nothing, all he new was his bottled sleep. He was so tired. He wanted to sleep more than anything else in the world.
Harry took the sleeping pills from the cabinet over the sink and popped one in his mouth. He felt so tired, why couldn't he sleep? He popped another without thinking. Maybe if I take enough, I'll never have to wake up. He thought, his sluggish mind wasn't thinking of Madam Pomfrey's warning until he'd swallowed five of them. Is this what suicide feels like? He thought downing another and another. He kept going until he was two dizzy to hold the bottle, it dropped from his slackened grip.
Ron, who's bed was closest to the bathroom, was awakened by a loud thump. He opened his eyes and saw the light of the bathroom was on and the door was open, a shadow of something extensive stretched across the floor. He got up and staggered to the bathroom rubbing his eyes from the pain of the sudden light. He gasp when he saw Harry on his side on the ground, he saw the bottle of sleeping pills laying next to him. He rushed over to it, picking it up, It was empty except for two pills inside. Only two pills left! It was full just a little while ago, he new because he curious about how muggle's managed to out themselves to sleep and had read the lable.
Running back into the dorm room, he shook Neville who was closest, awake.
"Whaz the matter with you?" he said groggily, he noticed Ron's pale urgent face.
"I need to get McGonagal, Harry's sick!"
"Again!"
"No its not like last time, he is actually sick! I need help!" and dashed from the room, out of the common room. He sprinted to Professor McGonagal's office as he didn't know where her sleeping quarters were and just hoped she was still awake.
He knocked and the door opened, "Mr. Weasley! What...?" She looked concerned, as the last time Ron was here a night, was because of Harry's vision the previous Christmas.
"It's Harry, he...he took all of the sleeping pills he was given...I don't know what happened but..."
"Get Professor Snape, and then get Madam Pomfrey. Make sure you get Severus first, and tell him what happened!" and he sprinted off to the dudgeons.
Back in the bathroom...
"What's wrong with him?" Shamus said crouching down next to Neville who was shaking Harry by the shoulders.
"I don't know!"
"Here look!" Dean grabbed the bottle from the sink where Ron had left it. "They're sleeping pills!" He read the lable out loud, "use to reduce sleeplessness; one tablet per night. Warning! If more then required number of tablets are ingested see Healer immediately!"
"Looks like he just downed the whole damn thing!" Dean said tipping it over, the last two pills fell into his had. He put the container with the remaining two pills back in it, on the sink again.
"What did he do that for? Was he trying to kill himself or something?" nobody answered for a moment.
"He's has been kinda depressed looking?" Neville said nervously trying not to judge the situation as Harry could be unpredictable at times and depression might not have anything to do with it, that's how Neville saw it anyway.
"Out of the way!" McGonagal and Snape stood at the door way. The three boys were hasty pushed from of the room.
"Here roll him over, so I can give him this! Hold him up!" Snape ordered. Once McGonagal had Harry under the arms Snape took a bottle of potion and dumped the contents down his throat. The effects were almost immediate, Harry tried to pull away, his hand on his lower gut. McGonagal directed Harry to the toilet bowl where he proceeded to dump the contents of his stomach.
While Harry, half conscious, tried to wave McGonagal away, she held him to support him other wise he'd be back on the floor. While this was happening Ron ran from the dorm room and hurried down the stairs to the into the common room, he saw a group of girls sitting in a circle giggling loudly, if Harry were there he's be able to point out the president of his fan club, but he wasn't.
"Hey! Could one of you get Hermione Granger from the sixth year dorm?" he begged them. Two of them stood realising Ron's panic and hurried up the stairs. A moment latter Hermione came down rubbing her eyes and looking around for him.
"Ron do you know what time it is?" Her eyes puffy from sleep glared at Ron through her mess of thick untamed hair.
"Hermione please just come with me!" he begged taking her by the hand and dragging her up the boys staircase, they stopped out side the door, the rest of the dorm had been kicked out of the room but told not to go anywhere and wait out side the dorm.
"Where's Harry?" Hermione was beginning to think something terribly wrong was going on and she feared the worst.
Ron just looked at her, not knowing what to say.
Meanwhile...
"Ok I think its safe bring him to Poppy now." McGonagal said relieved, once Harry pulled away from the toilet for the last time. Now that most of it was out of his system he felt well enough to move on his own and now sat with his back leaning against the wall and his arms wrapped around his lags, head buried in his arms and panting heavily.
"Come on Potter." McGonagal said conjuring a stretcher with a flick of her wand.
"I can walk." he climbed using the wall for support. His legs were shaking so badly he felt sure that they were going to claps beneath, he stood up right without the wall for a second but as soon as he was upright sharp pains pounded against the inside of his scull and he was leaning back against the wall. Again he let the wall go and pushed past Snape into the dorm room with determination.
"Can you wait here for a moment Potter." McGonagal said and opened the door and slipped out, closing it behind her. He could hear, "Weasley, Granger, go the Professor Dumbledor's office and tell him what's happened. He'll still be awake, the password is 'caramel', oh and as perfects send anyone still in the common room to bed and any one you see in the halls, clear us a path if you will."
"Yes Professor."
"Now the rest of you. I want you in my office strait away I'll be there in fifteen minutes, go now." She came back in to the dorm room, Harry was sitting on his bed, his hands supporting his head and gazing at the floor. Snape was standing silently, watching Harry from behind.
"Alright, come along."She said briskly asshe held the door for him and he walked through followed by Snape.
AN: I can explain! Please don't hurt me! (Please ignore me, I don't what Im talking about.) Anyway, this took long because, of both its length and I thought I'd have to rewrite it, I wont tell you why though so don't ask. Not that you need to know my boring tale anyway. Sorry Im going crazy here, a word for the wise to all of you looking to vacation, stay far away from Brantford Ontario, who cares if it's the city where telephones were invented it is boring, stupid, full of assholes, not a fun place to live...grrrrrrr!
I promise to stop complaining now.
I thank you all so greatly for putting up with this story, and loving it!
emortis13: Damn strait! Hehe, thanks, glad you like!
Eowyn23: Well, there you go, you got more. Hehe, enjoy!
Tearful Joy: If I parish, you'll never get another chapter, so do you think you could just settle with gouging my eyes out instead? It would be much appreciated! Thank you vary much for reviewing!
RetardedMonkeys: Not the gerbil/cockroach! How could you say such a thing? Well by updating, I have now saved an innocent live, ahha! Blessed be to all! Umm...right...sorry...hehehe!
LindzFriend: That's cool, just changed my pen name too, obviously. I haven't been able to do much reading lately, but as soon as I post this Im gonna check your story, hehe, can't wait to see what happens! Laterz!
Hakkai - Gojyo - Goku - Sanzo: yuppers!
luvbug080688: Unfortunately, No. Its to late to change that, maybe in my next fic ill do a vamp thing...me wuv blood sucking demons!
jenstarfire: I am so sorry, im serious, im so totally sorry, but you're a bit out numbered here, Im so vary sorry, its not going to some fluffy thing where harry starts calling severus 'sev' it'll more mentor like, sorta, if that makes it any better..please don't leave me! -sniffsniff-
Missing Fairy: Thank you! flushes happily
Talons : Yup, an acoustic guitar for most then I'll move Harry into a bit of electric guitar, just something he does for a few extra bucks on a park bench or something, but he's for sure going to play regardless the plot...and yeah, the artists in France is where I got the idea, hehe, you know my secrets i must sic bob on you...run from bob before he gives you a wedgie!
HPfreakout: lol, thanks! Yeah, I couldn't resist a harry potter fan club. Vary scary.
seastones88: I know I said I would send thins to you, but my e-mail isn't working or something, it's just sending the file the unsent file folder thingy. Weird. Damn technology and it being so complicated for nothing!
applebottoms: Yeah me too, Lady's a pretty name unlike my name Nicole...god I hate it! What kind of name is Nicole? Honestly! Hehe, anyway, lots of love, moving on to my next victim.
misfit2008: -gasp- Foamy's my idol!
Tips for muse care
-hide under bed
-(or closet)
-don't forget to feed him lots of cookies
-don't let it near socks
-they like making sock puppets
-scary ones, like voodoo...they bite
-give it lots of love or they'll chainsaw you, believe me, it hurts. bob help me find my foot!
Anyway! Hehe! Thanks, I hope this was an ok chappy, please review! By the way, good luck with muse...you need it...O.o... Bob- ;-)
Spiorad: just have to wait and see ah? Hehe, thanks for reviewing!
Few! That only took an hour and a half! Wow im being weird...
REVIEW!
-Nikki
REVIEW! Or bob will eat you...he didn't get enough cookies for dinner and he will have your fingers if you don't review so i suggest you start typing!
