It snuck up on us, or rather me. The day had finally come: it was the day of the interview. Loid and I got dressed in our best attire. My forward-thinking husband supplied us with two emergency outfits, just in case anything should happen before it was our turn to be interviewed this afternoon.
My hands trembled as I did up the buttons on my blouse. I knew Loid said everything would be alright and I could do it….. But boy, was I feeling nervous right now. This growing, gnawing hole crept everywhere in my stomach. Course I was anxious about it. I mean, the future of Loid's career rested on how well today went. No, don't think about that, Yor; you'll just stress yourself out. Think about something else! Like….. I don't know; nothing's coming to mind.
My dear husband rounded the corner after exiting his room. He carried his jacket draped over his one arm and held his hat in the other. I gazed up from my buttons to see him, and my jaw almost hit the floor. Oh wow! What a beautiful, gorgeous man! I can't believe how perfectly handsome my husband was. Seriously, it's like he was crafted in a mould by the gods especially for me. I never pictured the man I married being so stunning…. because that kind of fantasy would have been too good to be true. I felt my breath hold when he peered over in my direction like a love-struck schoolgirl. Beautiful, that word rang on repeat in my head: he is so beautiful.
Loid looked at me with a much calmer air than I was currently radiating. He didn't smile but seemed to pick up on the fact that something was wrong on my end. "Mrs. Forger? Are you ready?" My back flinched as I suddenly came crashing back to reality. Blinking wildly, my arms gave a start. "O-Oh, yes! I'm ready!" After eying me a moment, he chuckled softly to himself and stepped over to me. My cheeks- like always- blushed all sorts of red when he proceeded to set down his hat and coat, and his gloved hands reached up to undo the top two buttons of my blouse. "You put these in the wrong holes," he explained as he re-did the buttons in the correct holes this time. My lips sputtered and spattered uncontrollably. "W-Were they?! I hadn't noticed!" Oh, great; way to sound like an idiot, Yor.
My husband finished up and lowered his arms, looking me in the eye. "Are you sure you're alright? You've been jumpy all morning." "I-I am. I'm just….. Erm, well….. It's just that…. Frankly, I'm a little worried about the interview- that's all. I-I know you've told me not to worry, but you've got a lot riding on this….. and I don't want to disappoint you," my eyes lowered a tad, as did my chin.
Loid watched me a moment before smiling with that tenderness he's recently acquired. I felt his folded finger lift under my chin, raising my head back up a little. Our eyes met again, and his face relaxed onto mine. "You won't. For the final time- there's nothing to worry about. Don't worry, Mrs. Forger….. I'm not. I know you won't let me down." My gaze fixed onto his trustingly, my shoulders lowered every so slightly. "Are you sure?" And he grinned a second time, bringing his hand down to take mine in his. His fingers coiled around the back of my hand, giving it a tender squeeze. "There is no doubt in my mind whatsoever," he declared with absolute sincerity. My lips parted a sliver as the hand he was holding lingered there for a second. Loid…..
He was about to lead to me toward the front door when I stopped him with a tug. "Loid!" My husband's feet paused so he could glance back at me from over his shoulder curiously. My mouth wavered for a moment as I tried to formulate the words I would say next. Eventually they opened when I felt ready…
"I-I just want you to know that'll I try my best. I really, really want this for you… and I'll help you in any way I can. Just tell me what to do and I'll do it….. I trust you too, is what I guess I'm trying to say. You know about this stuff a lot better than I do, and I trust you to lead me…. I'm on your side with this, Loid; I really am," I said this last part while staring him in eye. His mouth hanging open a little in astonishment and he didn't react initially; it took him a moment or two to digest properly all I've just admitted, and of my own freewill too…. Thinking about it like that made my cheeks sizzle as I forced myself to look at the floor now, anxiously waiting to hear what he'd say next. I wasn't really surprised by his dumbfounded reaction.
"What brought this on?" He sounded as confused as he looked. His hand still kept hold of mine this whole time, I might add. My fingers fidgeted in awkwardness…. and also a hint of happiness. It felt good…. It felt good to finally tell him all that. I continued to stare down at the floor in between us, which was too much if you asked my opinion. "You're always making me feel better….. I thought I might make you feel more confident this time…. right before our super big and important interview," I knew how silly my explanation was, but it was honest…. if not a tad childish.
Loid observed my embarrassed body language for another minute before relaxing his own shoulders slightly. His fingers gave my hand squeeze again. "You already do so much for me, Mrs. Forger." "But it feels like I should do more," I quickly retorted. His head lowered a tad, his body shifting around so he was fully facing me now. "Believe me, I know you want to help me. You've proven that time and time again. And believe me when I say I wouldn't be where I am today without you. You're the reason I've gotten this far with….. with my mission," he finished with some hesitation. "Loid….." My lips parted a sliver. His eyes lowered intently, kindly….. "You'll never know how much you've helped me, Mrs. Forger. I feel….. like I'm learning to blend into high society more naturally since we got married. The first thing they teach us in… in psychiatry training is kill your emotions. Don't show any weakness." "That sounds horrible!" I gasped. Loid smiled so raw, so knowingly…. "It is."
After ogling into each other's eyes, I chuckled, smiling myself and shutting my eyes. "Well, if I can help you in that way, then I feel it's more fair…. Considering all the help you've given me since we've married." "Trust me. Nothing will ever make this exchange "fair", Mrs. Forger," he grinned and I laughed. "I can always try. After all….. I've also learned so much, seen so much, because of you…..
my darling."
