Disclaimer:I own nothing, the songs Be My Escape by Relient K
I've given up,
I'm giving up slowly,
I'm blending in so you won't even
know me
Me? Who am I? The basketball guy? Now the musical guy? The guy with the smart hot girlfriend? The guy who everyone wants to be? She used to know me. She being the --
Thud Umpf
Gosh can't people watch where they are go---I look down and there she is. I quickly jump up and notice her skirt up to her chin, exposing her underwear for all to see. I blush, the most emotion I've felt in awhile, and pull her up as quickly as she fell. I'm late for practice so I can't stay to listen to her squeal, or to even notice that she was blushing too.
Apart from this
whole world that shares my fate
This one last bullet you mention
Is my one last shot at redemption
cause I know to live you
must give your life away
"Get your head in the game", my father no my coach screams, people think they are so damn catchy with this one, I swear to God if one more person tells me to get my head in a friggin game I'll, "make them eat their teeth" I whisper, smiling to myself recalling an angry Sharpay beneath me. She's so hott when she's pissed, yet beautiful when she's not hiding. Hiding, she's been hiding since her mother abandoned her and Ryan and her father consumed himself in work. But then again I can't be pissed at her for hiding, because it's exactly what I'm doing.
And I've been
housing all this doubt
And insecurity
And I've been locked
inside that house
all while you hold the key
She would know too. I guarantee you. Sharpay Evans would call me on my shit so quickly if, if I ever said more than hi to her. We cover the basics in conversations, never letting each other get to close. My love for basketball has grown to a hatred, the pressure my father puts me under, the team.. I had no choice, I'm so young. I can only handle so much on my own.
And I've been
dying to get out
And that might be the death of me
And even
though, there's no way in knowing where to go, promise I'm going
because
I-I gotta get outta here
Last year we brought the championship home. I thought that would be enough to satisfy my father, my team mates, the fans..but no, they always want more, and whose going to give them more? Me, I'm falling under the pressure and no one notices. Not my dad. Not my mom. Not Chad or the guys. Not even Gabriella. No one notices my empty eyes, no one notices the pills I've been taking at lunch. No one notices how I can magically run a little faster, jump a little higher, rebound a little stronger.
I'm stuck
inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
I-I gotta get outta
here
And I'm begging you,
I drop hints too. I don't want to fall into this. I don't want these pills to control my life. But they make it so much easier. Can you blame me? I carry this school on my shoulders, and I don't mind. I like being the hero, I like saving the girl. I want to save that girl.
I'm begging
you,
It still eats me inside that I couldn't save her when her mom left her. I should have been able to make her leave her house, I should have been able to make her smile, I should have been able to see through her act earlier, but no. I was hurt, so I withdrew. I joined everyone else in believing she is the Ice Queen. And she joined everyone else in thinking that I am Mr. Perfect.
I'm begging
you to be my escape
I'm giving up
I'm doing this alone
now
Cause I've failed and I'm ready to be shown how
I'm pissed at everybody. These pills are my only friends. As the season progresses I take more and more. However, it's a race I'm bound to lose, cause the better I get the more he expects of me.
Jump higher.
Run quicker.
45 points? It should be 60.
You should have stopped that fast break.
You should have gotten that rebound.
You should have made that shot.
People don't see my dad, not the way he really is. They think that he leaves it on the court, that he is just doing all he can to help his son achieve his goals. They don't know that it's really just so I can do what he can't….but I'm starting to, and I can tell that he's become envious.
He's told me
the way and I'm trying to get there
And this life sentence that
I'm serving
I admit that I'm every bit deserving
But the
beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair
It was my birthright to finish what my father started, no one warned me however about the prices that had to be paid. I work hard. I win. Yet I fail. I get good grades, I get the lead in the school play, I get the hottest well second hottest girl in school. What's wrong with me? I'm still not happy. There are two things left that make me happy A. these sky blue pills B. Sharpay Evans
Cause I've
been housing all this doubt
And insecurity
And I've been
locked inside that house
All while you hold the key
Sharpay. Pill. Sharpay. Pill.
And I've been
dying to get out
And that might be the death of me
And even
though, there's no way in knowing where to go, promise I'm going
because
I-I gotta get outta here
"We're over Troy, you're never here for me anymore…all you think about is basketball its all you love anymore", Gabriella screams at me.
"Shows what you know", I state.
Cause I'm
afraid that this complacency is something I can't shake yeah
I-I
gotta get outta here
2 pills here 3 pills there.
And I'm
begging you,
I'm begging you,
I'm begging you to be my
escape
The more I take, the less pain I feel, the more they love me the easier it is. I'm not an addict. You wouldn't understand unless you were there. I don't have any problems. There's nothing wrong with me.
I am a hostage
to my own humanity
Self detained and forced to live in this mess
I've made
And all I'm asking is for you to do what you can
with me
But I can't ask you to give what you already gave
Cause I've been housing all this doubt
And insecurity
I don't even know what I'm taking anymore. They give them to me and I swallow. I hurt all the time, I need anything to numb this pain.
And I've been
locked inside that house
All while you hold the key
And I've
been dying to get out
That might be the death of me
And even
though, there's no way in knowing where to go, promise I'm going
because
You walk by me, I smell your perfume. You're singing a song. You're singing my song. I used to wish you would sing my song. That's why I made you that tape. You stare at me. You look scared. I keep moving.
I-I've gotta
get outta here
I'm stuck inside this rut that I fell into by
mistake
All I am lately is angry or blissful. You make me angry. Fuck you Sharpay Evans, you should never have shut yourself off, you should save me. Yet, if I could, I would jump your bones and take you away from this place. If you were mine I would never leave you Sharpay Evans.
I-I've gotta
get outta here
And I'm begging you,
I'm begging you,
I'm
begging you to be my escape
I want to get out with you, but I don't want you to save me. I'm supposed to save you Sharpay, stop looking at me like that. Don't ask me if I'm ok. Can't you see that this is the easiest way to exist? Without all this pain.
The rush is unreal. I don't even know what I am on. We're at this party, I see you across the room. You look wow, I need to kiss you. I walk towards you, you look scared, worried.. I hate it when you look at me like that. My songs playing, the one you softly sing all the time. I grab you, I kiss you as hard as I can. You fight for a little but you fall into the kiss, it makes me feel all these things I've been working so hard to avoid. I push you away and run scared.
I've known you
for so long
I should've let you in
oh how we regret those
things we do
And all I was trying to do was
Save my own
skin
But so were you
So were you...
