Disclaimer: none of its mine, and the song is Not and Addict by K's Choice
Breathe it in and
breathe it out
And pass it on, it's almost out
We're so
creative, so much more
We're high above but on the floor
The pills soon turned into more, anything to get rid of this pain. I had it under control, it being the pain. I really did, just the right amount of pills so I wouldn't feel, so I wouldn't hurt. I just had to kiss you, I had to clear that fog I've been thickening for months. That kiss brought back the pain. It's as though I brought back my pain and absorbed yours. And I didn't like it, no not one bit. The feelings I mean…not the kiss that kiss, Sharpay Evans I could kiss you forever.
It's not a
habit, it's cool, I feel alive
If you don't have it you're on the
other side
So this is where I am left, so high I'm oblivious to your feelings to the fact that you are there. I walk by you in school, because if we were to talk I'd have to kiss you, and then I'd have to feel. And that is just not going to happen. No matter how beautiful you look, no matter how intelligent you are, no matter how sexy you look in that white skirt, no matter how sad you look when you look at me. I made you sad? Great now I hurt some more, screw you and your conundrum of pain and rapture.
The deeper you
stick it in your vein
The deeper the thoughts, there's no more
pain
I'm in heaven, I'm a god
I'm everywhere, I feel so hot
I want you. Here. Now. With me. No questions, no conversation. Just me, just you. I'm on top of the world. You want the winning basket? I'll score it for you. I'd do anything for you Sharpay. Stop looking so sad, you are bringing me down from the greatest feeling alive. Well, second greatest. You're lips are the first. I need to kiss you again.
It's not a habit, it's cool, I feel alive
If
you don't have it you're on the other side
I'm not an addict
(maybe that's a lie)
There's nothing wrong with me. I sweat a lot but so what, its just nerves. I look in the mirror and realize how slim my face looks, how glazed over my eyes are. When's the last time I've eaten? I get angry, because no one says anything to me. You used to question me, but you stopped. Not that there's anything wrong with me.
It's over now,
I'm cold, alone
I'm just a person on my own
Nothing means a
thing to me
(Nothing means a thing to me)
You walk into homeroom. Not walk, mortals walk. You float. You're wearing the most wow. You truly are beautiful. I ask to use the bathroom and nearly break out into a sprint. You look far to hott to merely be roaming these halls. I break out my pills and stare at them in my hand. I need them like a fish needs its water, like a song needs its notes. They are me and I am them. I take a few extra because you just had to wear that tight black dress.
It's not a habit, it's cool, I
feel alive
If you don't have it you're on the other side
I'm
not an addict (maybe that's a lie)
I'm sitting outside listening to my ipod. Listening to our song. The song I want to sing to you, and you to sing softly for me. I let the buzz take me over, closing my eyes enjoying the solitude. I look up and there you are, walking that walk…your walk. You should teach supermodels how to walk, I am captivated by the rhythm in your steps. You stare at me, it almost leaves me vulnerable. I am suddenly happy I took some extra pills, they will keep me in check.
Free me, leave
me
Watch me as I'm going down
Free me, see me
Look at me,
I'm falling and I'm falling.
You stop in front of me so I rise and remove my earphones. Our song. We are standing here listening to our song. You grab me and I let you because your lips look perfect, but I know your secret I know that they aren't whole without mine on them. I slowly move my hands below your waist. I need you. Now. I close my eyes and part my lips. I feel your hot breath on my lips I …wait. I'm waiting. I open my eyes to be greeted by a spinning world. Everything is blurry but you. You look terrified. I don't care if I can't see. I just want your lips.
It is not a habit, it is cool I feel alive I
feel...
It is not a habit, it is cool I feel alive
You look deep in thought. And I am being as patient as I can, partly because the world won't stop spinning but mostly because I want you to take control, I want you to want me as much as I want you. I hold you tightly as my hands have somehow found their way to your ass. We are so close, I'm about to pull you into me when---
"How does it feel to be the fool?" And bam you're gone. I swallow hard..and realize what you meant by making me eat my teeth.
I sit down and pop a pill. I don't care if everyone sees me. How does it feel? I'm going to make sure that I can honestly not have an answer to that question.
It's not a
habit, it's cool, I feel alive
If you don't have it you're on the
other side
Pill. Pill. Pill. Pill. You. You. Pill. Pill. You. I don't even know what I'm doing anymore. I float everywhere. Days pass, weeks, who knows? Until it all goes black….so very black.
I'm not an
addict (maybe that's a lie)
I'm not an addict...
