A/N: I'm terrible. I felt guilty after reading the 13th volume of Furuba, and thought "My fans need me!" So here, finally, is chapter 5 of The Power To Heal. Enjoy.
Disclaimer: I wish. Psh.
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You're poison running through my veins
You're poison, I don't want to break these chains
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Shigure hummed to himself as he walked slowly down the sidewalk just outside the network of eastern Tokyo, his eyes roaming over the lotus leaves scattered randomly throughout Manchanchi park. As kids, himself, Hatori, and Aaya would sometimes sneak out and go there just to get away from the crazy "inside" Sohmas. It was easy to go there because it was just outside the Sohma estate, and if anyone noticed that they were missing, they probably assumed they were up to their usual antics. They always found peace in its serene beauty and would marvel at how free and happy all the people that went there seemed-they especially noticed the children. How sad it was to remember. How far away it felt.
But remembering this was easy, because he had just come from the Sohma estate and met with Akito-san. Akito's words had disturbed him, but of course Shigure kept calm, as was his usual way of manipulation. Akito had been angry as always, but their was some emotion Shigure saw with unmistakable clarity in his God's eyes. Fear. He knew that Akito feared losing the members of the zodiac and that they would turn against him, but he knew that fear was somewhat misplaced. Yes, the zodiac members had all had their "rebellions", but they could never go against Akito so openly. They loved him in a way that defied all logic but it didn't matter because he was their illogical logic. He was everything when they had nothing. A constant reminder of what they all were on the inside and what they couldn't be without his beating heart. It was just one of those things you accept because you have no other choice. And once that choice is made, you learn to love it, even if it hurts you.
The fear he saw in Akito's eyes wasn't just from that constant, nagging phobia that they would all turn against him. No, it was a deeper, more irrational fear that surfaced beneath his coal iris's. A love/hate relationship so strong that could only stem from a mother/son bond. Oh, how Akito hated Ren. He hated the way she walked, how her voice got higher and higher as she screamed at him, how her nails were always freshly manicured. How she blamed him for Akira's death. But not many knew that he also loved her, in his own way. Shigure knew. He understood their relationship better than he should have, he supposed. Akito loved Ren when he was younger when he only saw her on holidays. He didn't know then that she already hated him, despised him for being born and killing the one man she thought was the best God of all. He loved her before she taunted him, putting lies into his head and tricking him into believing sins that he didn't commit. He loved her with a child's innocence. Without that innocence, his love quickly dissipated and was replaced with loathing. After all, their is a fine line between love and hate, and their relations teetered on this line precariously, always threatening to fall to either side with every argument or slap.
Shigure had come to terms with his relationship with the God awhile ago. Shigure played a bigger part in the zodiac's futures than previously thought, even by Hatori. At first, he was too young and naive to see how everything would fall into place. He had just been another one of Akito's pawns to move wherever he wanted on his customized chess board, not caring if he got devoured by the Queen. But once he discovered that he was being used, he had created an entirely new game of his own, with new rules that were fitted to their changing lives. Shigure couldn't have planned it better. Tohru was summoned to their doorstep by fate, and he had let her in graciously, sensing that their lives were going to change. She was his grasping at straws, because after Rin had failed to break the curse as promised, he had no other tricks up his sleeve. He loved Rin in a way that a doll maker loves their creations. Unlike dolls, though, she was alive and very much real. At first he thought he could use Rin to help defy Akito and be free of their restrictions, and Rin had heartily agreed, although she had a much nobler reason for accepting what he asked of her. True love.
Shigure knew this and used it to his advantage. Of course Rin knew that she was being used, but she just saw it as another obstacle she had to tackle in freeing Haru and the others. It wasn't enough that she could be with Haru physically, she explained to Shigure once when he asked her straight out why she cared so much for the cow. It's Akito, sitting on his throne, dictating our lives and everyone being powerless against him. It was fine when he telling us where to live or when he would abuse us and then draw us close, but when he interfered with Haru, that was when I knew I couldn't live under his rule any longer. I was expecting understanding, and all I got in return was a cold cell and short hair.
Yes, Rin was wise beyond her years. And so stubborn! But even she couldn't deny that she loved Akito, for she did. She would never admit it with words, but she did, because they all did. Their was no escaping it. Even though now everyone knew her position when it came to their God, it wasn't always so open. When Shigure first came to her with his idea, after she had returned from sneaking out to meet Haru, she was already thinking along the same lines as him. She just needed a push. Shigure was her push. At first, she would do small things and sneak out to the restricted area of the Sohma library, where ancient scrolls were kept telling of The Banquet and of the previous members of the Zodiac that lived before them. What she found out was pitiful. Diligently, she would pour over the scrolls, trying to find some mishap or sentence that would aid her with her search.
Because despite all of her bravado and Shigure's assurance, she didn't know what "breaking the curse" entailed. She knew that in order for the curse to broken, Akito must live. Without him, they would all die, so it made sense that he would have to survive. Beyond that, all she knew was that the curse didn't affect Kureno (who piqued her curiosity indeed, for although he was the rooster, he did not transform, which pointed to something that proved the curse could be switched on and off, like lights.) If she could find this "switch", they would be free to live their own lives. She was sure that although Akito would still be alive, they wouldn't have to live under his rule anymore; that they would be free to love without fear and wouldn't need his logic that was illogical.
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One look could kill
My pain, your thrill
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But Rin had failed, and Shigure had quickly swooped in to cover up his involvement in the matter so Akito still trusted him and Shigure had time to come up with something else. For he was a writer, and every writer needs to believe in something that isn't tangible. For him, the curse he lived under provided that belief by him assuming it could be broken. Before, he had thought it a obscure notion to be dismissed with a wave of his pen, but once he saw how happy Ren had been in Rin's downfall, he began to think that their was more to everything than he had first surmised. When he felt rather than saw the curse bearing less truth than it had before, he realized that he had made the right choice, however Akito might hate him for it later.
Akito thought himself immune to such silly things as fantasies of being "free", since he had always known that he would die before he reached his eighteenth birthday, only to be replaced by a new and perhaps equally as vengeful God, and he didn't want to believe that maybe he wouldn't have to suffer. It was too hard for him to understand-this was the way things were, and their was no changing them. He would have the Zodiac for as long as possible, and then it wouldn't matter. He would be gone. Their was no use getting your hope up for something that is as tangible as air. It was like trying to convince people who had been to the moon that it was made of cheese-it wasn't going to happen.
At their meeting, Akito had told him of his "visit" with Rin. Shigure knew that Ren was holding something back from their brief talks, something that had to do with the curse and Akira, but he never pushed her about it. When you pushed Ren on things, she tended to close down; you had to let her tell you out of her own free will. He knew Ren had made Rin believe that she knew exactly how to break the curse, but Shigure doubted that. Their was some part of Ren that wanted to see Akito succeed, even if that meant him dying, but a much bigger part that wanted her son to pay for what she believed he had done. And what better payment than to make all of his phobias become reality? Shigure doubted she would offer up anything that Rin didn't already know herself, but you never knew with Ren. She was a roulette with no color, spinning wildly, her emotions often matching her son's number by number.
"Who does she think she is? I thought I had broken her already, and then she breaks out of the hospital and goes running back to her little cow? How pathetic! She doesn't stand a chance! She knows nothing! Just like that Honda girl! So utterly stupid!"
Shigure smiled. Yes, Akito's words disturbed him because he couldn't see what was happening right in front of him. He still believed that nothing could go wrong in his little world that he created for them all, but things were constantly going wrong. Akito couldn't see the truth-and it would blind him. His beliefs would be his downfall.
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I hear you calling and it's needles and pins (And pins)
I want to hurt you just to hear you screaming my name
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Ren stood in the middle of the forest, just outside Shigure's house, waiting. She had come seeking out Rin, for she knew she just left Kazuma's dojo awhile earlier, and knew she wouldn't get far from where she had started out from in her current state (his dojo being just outside the forest). Kazuma had called her, worried, which immediately alerted her that something must be seriously wrong because calling her would have been his last resort. It must have been difficult for him. She smiled, amused. She was somewhat of a sadist, and rejoiced in the suffering of others. She found it fitting. Kazuma knew that Rin would seek her out as her first stop, so instead of Rin traveling all the way to find her, she went to find Rin. She wouldn't mind Rin walking all the way to her home in misery, but she couldn't afford something happening to the stubborn horse. She was frail, after all. So frail that her fierce spirit might be too strong for her weak body, Ren mused. How will I be able to use her then?
She didn't have to wait long at all for Rin to make an appearance. She was staggering down the path that led to the main road, almost tripping over her own feet from exhaustion and physical pain. She looked as if a strong wind came through it would blow her over. Good. This will be fun.
Ren stepped out of the trees, coming into clear view. Rin saw her and stopped walking, only a couple yards between them. Rin brought a hand up to her eyes, as if she couldn't believe what she was seeing. Ren never left the main house! She walked determinedly forward.
"Hello Rin".
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It was 4 pages typed, I swear! Review. Their will be more. Sooner update than last time. I'm not that evil.
