I think that my face must be as red as tomato sauce right now. I just got carried, head to as, for a mile.

FUN!

Not. Hell, even the voices in my head have shut up from all the pain and blood in there.

Heh, maybe I should do this more often...

Besides, I get to look at 'Ro's ass the entire time. I gave up singing after the first two minutes because it hurt too much.

But now that we're at the house again, I feel the inexplicable urge to avoid the subject of life all together.

I wonder if I can play dead long enough to make a getaway?

"WuFei, help me get this baka back to bed. I found him sitting in his Gundam."

Really now? I thought you found me under the leaves of the cabbage patch plants...

"How did he get all the way out there without either one of us noticing?"

"...Don't ask stupid questions 'Fei cakes..."

I grin at him, doing my best to not pant from exhaustion and pain. Heero sets me down on the couch whilst he takes a breather. I guess I'm not as "slim 'n' trim" as I thought... Ha ha ha.

"Maxwell, why on Earth did you find it necessary to go all the way to your gundam with a gunshot wound? What was so important as to aggravate your wounds?"

Just a little thing... my sanity. Nothing much really... Nothing I'd miss.

"No hablo inglés."

"Maxwell!"

"Je ne parle pas anglais."

A growl from WuFei and an eye twitch from Heero.

God I'm good.

"Okay, okay. Don't burst a blood vessel 'Fei. I just had to get out, okay? I felt I needed a little stroll, some fresh air." A bullet to the brain...

"Duo, you have a gunshot wound. You have lost large quantities of blood. You are probably delirious, though with you it's hard to tell -"

"Did you, Heero, king of not having a sense of humor, make a joke? Call the Vatican, we have witnessed a miracle. I'm going to bed now..."

Heero just looked at me like the idiot I know he thinks I am. I think It's okay though. I'll get over it. I have to die sometime... I made a funny.

"You had no reason to even be out of bed, let alone a mile away from it!" That was Wuffers, reminding me that I am an idiot and that I need to be far away from here... soon...

"Well, no one was here, I was bored, and you wouldn't give a shit anyways, so why the fuck should I inform you when you obviously don't care enough to leave me all by my lonesome even while so "grievously" injured."

I made a face on grievously and used air quotes for maximum effect.

"Maxwell, get back in bed. If you need anything, use the comm right next to the bed that we put there, LAST NIGHT for you to contact us in case of your needing something."

Ouch.

I had the decency to cringe.

"Okay, so I fucked up. Jeeze, let it go. It ain't good to bottle it up like that. Just yell and get it over with."

Ooooh I'm so dead... and such a masochist.

WuFei just sighed. "I'm not going to yell anymore Maxwell. Now, let's get you back to bed, alright?"

I stood up, only to fall right over. I guess I got a little stiff over that last half a mile or so. The blinding flash of pain in my middle is enough to make me curl into a ball. I try not to look so pained, simply for the manly factor, but I gave it up as they touched me to pick me up.

"God Maxwell, you're burning up. See, your idiocy has given you a fever. Happy now?"

I think a little bit of my heart just died... or maybe it's just the pain. I can't tell anymore. I think I don't really care. I'm just so tired of being the idiot. So tired of being the one that no one trusts because he always seems, SEEMS mind you, to fuck shit up. Never mind all the things I get right. It's always the things I get wrong that they see. I don't care.

A moment of clarity.

Why should I care what they think?

Oh yeah, because they're the only people I have.

Okay, back to caring.

"Ouch Wuffers, you cut me to the quick." I say, as jokingly as possible so that they won't know how true it is.

"C'mon Duo, upstairs."

"'Kay Heero, whatever you say. Just make it stop hurting."

Make everything stop hurting so much. I think that only you can help me. God... Please help me... I don't know how much longer I can go on like this. And if you and WuFei are as close as I think you are, as I pray you aren't, you won't help.

And I guess that's okay, as long as you're happy.

NOT.

Fuck that shit, my life will still be horrible, be unhappy even if you're happy. None of this "as long as you're happy I'll be fine" crap. That isn't how it works.

"That isn't how it works..." I whisper.

I blame it on delirium!

"What did you say Duo?"

Was that almost caring in your voice? No, I blame the fever for hearing things.

"That this isn't how it works."

"How what works?"

I sighed and curled into myself further.

"Life."

Heero set me on my bed, putting the covers down and covering me up. Pain meds and a glass of water are pressed into my hands.

"Why isn't this how it works?"

I can see the darkness creeping up into my vision. I can feel the numbness... I could get to liking this... But I can hear Sister Helen and Father Maxwell yelling at me to stop avoiding the subject and just tell him...

"Because, you see. The guy and his love always get together, leaving the unrequited lover to die alone. That's just not fair now, is it?"

"No... I guess not."

I hum, feeling sleep nipping at my heels.

"Nope. I hate being the one who has to die alone... But I guess I'm never really alone, right guys...?"

God, I hope I didn't just say that out loud.

One look at Heero's face, and I know I did.

Shit.

I pass out.

---------

Sorry for taking so long. School and uninspiration had a lot to do with it...