Joker's Smile 7
Sorry for the wait...
-
-
-
-
-
-
I waltzed into the kitchen, hair still dripping in the braid, feet slapping bare flesh on the cold tiles of the floor. I made sure to make noise as I approached- I was injured enough thank you very much. I didn't want Heero to 'accidentally' shoot me. Or maybe I did... No, I will not think horrible death-y thoughts.
Oops...I just had another one... I need a spanking...Want to help Mr Yuy?
"So, mission...?"
I reached the table and sat gingerly on one of the chairs; the one with the flamingos painted on the back, we only have three that match. I grimace to think of the ration pack I'm about to try to stomach...
Thank you Heero, for handing me my ever-so delightful bag of pseudo-flavored mealpack made of industrial waste and paint thinner. Yummy.
"Looks delicious." I say, with no little humor, my eyes had stayed firmly glued to the pack as I open it and try to look at all hungry.
"We have an infiltrate-recon mission."
"Isn't that Trowa's expertise?" Nothing funny about that... But I could make a joke about finally fitting in- you don't have to talk on guard duty. Nahhh.
"He is currently packing to go to the Victoria Base, we are to infiltrate and reconnoiter without casualties. If spotted, try to avoid killing unless necessary. We all know that casualties happen, but they need to be lowered if possible."
"I think you just used your word quota for the afternoon." Open mouth, insert foot. Hmmm... Maybe the foot would taste better... I stare longingly at my feet, trying to decide which one I like the least. No offense to the loser. I think I like them equa-
"Sorry, say again? I didn't catch that last bit." Yeah, the bit about us. Together. In a school. For a week. Seven days. Oh God... Why do you hate me so?
"We will be going into a school on the edge of the Sanq kingdom- one preferably where that girl is not attending, and we will be students there for a week as we infiltrate to find the mole in the teachers. It may even be a student passing along information."
"I thought that's what I heard... But I thought it best to check before questioning my sense of hearing." Yes, you COULD laugh there. But you SHOULDN'T. It's not that funny. How come you laugh at- oh nevermind.
"Heero, which foot d'you like the least? Cause I'm not liking the look of this rations packet, and I'm willing to branch out and try new things."
Don't stare at me like that. It's rude.
"Why would you entertain thoughts of eating your foot? The rations packets-"
"Are completely disgusting, really Heero. I can't stand them. They suck. Ask anyone. Except Trowa. He might agree with you. He's weird like that."
"Hn. Baka." Sure, turn around and leave. I didn't ask you a question...Yeesh...
"The left one is slightly less...appealing than the right one."
I can't stop the gobsmacked look that blanks over my face. He just-
"Hey! My left foot is totally gonna kick your ass Yuy!"
And oooh what fun it would be...
-
Okay, note to that person that keeps hiding in there, you know, 'Self'. Don't threaten one Heero Yuy in the morning. He's grouchy. Or anytime really. He's always grouchy. Except when he's not. Then he's angry. Or possibly confused. That one happens quite a bit.
Like earlier today, before we headed out, we were in the hangar and he looked at me. Just... looked at me and almost- almost mind you- smiled. SMILED!
Okay, so maybe he was remembering something really nice about Wu-bear, or maybe how nice it was to embarrass Duo by dragging him home over his shoulder...
Not going there. Just...
Those damned voices are yelling at me again. Calling me twelve kinds of fool for not ditching and going at it alone. But I can't. Because this is where I have to be. I have to do my missions. I have to...I have so much to atone for...
He just stared at me when I sighed, and I tried to pass it off as a yawn, thinking "Oh yeah, that'll work..." It didn't, by the way. Here he comes, up the rip cord. What does he want to do to poor 'ole Maxwell now?
"Hello? To what do I owe the pleasure of your esteemed company?" I try to play off my nervousness at his closeness. He looks at me, and I can feel him SEE. Not just look. He's finally gone and Seen me, and at the worst possible time too.
"Why do you sigh like that? I knew you were joking about the feet thing, and I'm sure you understood that I was joking. What has you so upset that you feel the need to sigh about it?"
I think he got insulted by the look on my face. It was a mix of shock and pain. Shock at his perceptiveness, his words. The fact that he could form complete sentences more than twice a day. And pain, because I knew that this would hurt me much more than him.
"I know you were joking, just like I knew I was joking. Well, maybe. I'm still partial to the right one though, don't tell the left. Look, I know that under that sociopathic exterior you've got a complete understanding of the world and the emotions that go with it. You might not think so, but I can see it in you. Me, I'm just lamenting your ability to be both perceptive and obtuse at the same time. You know what it is you see, but you don't understand what it means. Or you see the skewed version of something and take it face value because you don't believe that there's more to it." I cocked my head, listening to the argument going on in my skull. I can hear bets being place, I think. On whether or not he'll kill me for this.
Five bucks on the 10-to-1 odds of him hitting me. Throw in an extra five for the one about him hitting the face.
He stared at me. I think he's trying to figure me out."You're putting me in little categorical boxes, aren't you?" Yesyesyes.
He blushed, just a slight red tinge to his cheeks...
"I... I can't seem to put you in any one place..."
I smile, that fractured smile. The one that only the me in the mirror gets to see. He won't understand what it means anyways...
"That's because we don't fit in a little box Heero. We're so much more than you think we are..."
Shit. I said that.
I really just said that.
Stop calling me an idiot, and just get those endorphins ready. I feel a need to run and hide coming on...
But he's just staring at me, as though he's starting to get a bit more of the bigger picture.
We laugh...
-
Three days.
Three days of HELL.
Being so close to something you want and not being able to communicate with him... I mean it... Oops... Oh well. I know that it's wrong to want to have hot monkey sex with your partner, but DAMN. You look at him and tell me you wouldn't do him.
That's what I thought Solo.
We didn't have a room together thank GOD. But that almost made it worse, because we shared a quad room, with three strange boys, all of them teasing us for our hair and our eyes. They hated us. Me. We. Whoever this is. I can feel the nightmares... I can see the red tinge around the edges of the room as I listen to the snores of the three of them, but I know that as soon as I move that mole (who sleeps five feet away from me) will stop pretending to sleep and come after me. Yeah, sure, he's fifteen. And I'm a close personal friend of General Khrushenada's.
Snort.
I turn over in my bed to face the outside, not trusting enough to turn my back. I can hear the snores falter a bit. A sure sign of the clever trap. But I'm not the one they're looking for. Nope.
I'm just a transfer student, annoying, pesky, and overall agreeable to a fault.
I don't think I can take it much more. I'm good at hiding, but after three nights of this, I'm ready to crack and take him out back. Heero would help me hide the body.
What're friends for?
Stop laughing at that in there,.it's the truth. Real friends help you bury the bodies. No better bond than that of killing the annoying people in your life.
Insert laugh here.
I can hear Heero through the earpiece. He's rifling through the records, trying to find the mole. I want to tell him that he's right here, but I can't talk without alerting them...
"02...I think I found him. Ronald Presoit. He's in room 219... 02...That's."
I can hear the little hamsters running harder as he tries to figure out how to extract me and not alert the mole.
I murmur a bit, it's an affirmative, and he understands, but I hope it passed as a bit of disrupted sleep...Shit.
I can hear the snore getting a bit closer, and the soft barely-there footsteps as he moves for the kill. Or capture... Not sure exactly what his plan is, considering the fact that I'm not a voice in his head, nor he in mine.
Thank goodness.
He's annoying as it is, and that's something I don't need. Another annoying voice in my head.
I pretend to sleep still, my hand on the gun under the pillow as well as the knife in my hand under the sheet. He won't get me. Not alive anyways.
I can hear the steady breathing as he gives up the snoring routine. Yeah, brilliant. You were doing so well. I think you deserve an award for best acting in the dorm setting. Wonderful.
We tighten the grip on the hilt, unnoticeable to the target.
I need him alive...Damnit. I forgot that.
I can see his eyes. Windows to the soul. He's green. Experienced in the training, probably on his fourth or fifth assignment, but he's never had to get so close. Never had to hold a weapon and use it against an actual opponent. I can see the flash of fear in his eyes. And I open mine fully.
He stares into my eyes...Our eyes. I let him see the madness, the sadness and the hate. The blood that fills my heart and mind and soul and covers me like a dark shroud. Covers me like water, ever flowing fresh and wet and glistening in the light of my ember-ous spark.
Okay, I know that ember-ous isn't a word... but work with me here, okay? I'm cranky I haven't slept in three nights, and the stimulants are wearing thin.
Stimulants aren't good for you either.
After two days, you start to see things in the shadows, in the corners of your eyes. You start doubting what is real, questioning what is and isn't.
You see things that you know can't be real. But you can only hope that you are dreaming. And you are because your brain is trying to process everything and since you won't sleep, it has to work on it while you're awake.
And that's never a good thing, especially when you have dreams like mine.
Not of fires and wars and the deaths of the hundreds of people you've killed... But of normality and blank stares. You don't see those frightening images, not at night.
You see them everywhere in the daylight though. When you can remember them, when they're the scariest.
Oh, I forgot mister Mole over there.
"Hello Ronald. Up for a glass of water? I know I don't have one, but I'm sure that the bathroom down the hall would have some water. Goodnight."
I try to unnerve him by giving him an out. He can take the bait and he'll meet Heero in the bathroom, or he can pursue me and possibly break his cover as well as mine. I'd choose the latter. It's possible he doesn't know about Heero being another infiltrator.
"What, are you scared of the dark? Do you need someone to go with you?"
I could hear his rumble of dissatisfaction. I gave him a grin that showed too many teeth, more of a preditorial snarl than smile.
It was, after all, a predator-prey situation. But which was who and who was which?
Hahahaha. I made a funny.
"Alright, alright. I'll take you just this once. But really, I'm new here, why didn't you ask Jim over there?"
I got up, the knife hidden under the loose sleeve, fitting into the sheathe without a sound. I love my knives...
I padded out the door, quiet but not stealthy, I didn't want to really give myself away.
We stopped at the door to the john, and I motion for him to enter first. I could hear Heero whisper a confirmation on his position behind door number one. What I didn't expect was the wild swing at me with the knife. I ducked away and sliced upwards, only to encounter the rest of the gang. Damn, all three were spies...Or maybe they just were looking for the chance to get at the girly-boy.
Heh, I'd kicked all their asses at basketball, and when Heero and I teamed up it was a massacre of a bloodless sort.
I couldn't dance away from the hands that were grabbing at me, all at once. The grunted as I got a few cuts in (I'm not a Gundam Pilot for nothing yanno!) but they did outweigh me and I was running on borrowed time. I got this in the still-healing gunshot wound, bending me over, breathless and vulnerable. The voices screamed at me, calling my attention to the fact that they were still holding me, two behind and two in front. Ronald held a nasty looking knife, and I heard Heero stalk quietly towards us (the earpiece echoed with the sounds of my beating) with a menacing air. I knew that look...
But the goons holding me didn't. They saw 'James', my partner in basketball. Maybe they thought it coincidence, but after a second Ronald caught on and signaled for the one in front to deal with Heero as he took the initiative to stab me.
Have I mentioned lately that I am apparently accident prone all of a sudden? I could hear Heero beating the crap out of them, and managed to get out a "don't kill them...yet" before succumbing to the fire radiating from my chest.
-------
Hate me, it's alright. I know it's been a while...a loooong while. But I have to have inspiration to write, and I wasn't crazydepressed enough to write on this one. I don't know about this chapter... I haven't decided if it really fits or not.
Give me comments, questions, concerns or flames.
It's all good to me.
