Yo! I've been struggling a lot lately so I apologies for taking forever.
Warning: Depression with self harming. I'd request that if you're easily triggered to please skip, for your own sake.
Disclaimer: Okay, I'm stopping with this now
Shot 23: Cut
The spray of the scorching water burned against his skin, leaving behind small red blotches. What would have left most people screaming, gained no movement from Cole. Not even a flinch, and why would he? He was the one who put the shower control that hot.
No, instead, the raven sat in the tub, leaning against the wall, his knees loosely bought up with his left arm draped across them while his right hand was on his stomach, holding something. His head was hanging low, his hair taking the worst of the water while also protecting his face, gazing lifelessly at the metal piece between his fingers.
Would he dare?
He had been contemplating it for quite some time now, even tried a couple of times before, but it was always the same result.
The first time he had taken a regular razor, the object had subconsciously caught his attention; He slowly reached for the white handle, wrapping his fingers around it and with equal turtle speed bought it towards himself. Bi-colored eyes stared intensely at the item as his mind battled with himself onto the next course of action. It was true that the thought had cross his mind more often than not (everytime he entered the bathroom) but he had always pushed the idea down and buried with other random thoughts such as 'what his next culinary achievement be?' or 'How he was going to defeat the boss in Lava Zombie'.
But today, his tactic wasn't working, no instead he was going forward with it.
Taking the razor along, Cole stepped into the shower. He deposited the object onto the glass shelf before getting rid of his clothes, throwing them into the laundry basket. He then proceed to turn on the shower, letting the warm liquid caress his body. He opened his eyes and reached for the blade. However, just when he was barely an inch away from grabbing the item, he hesitated.
Did he really want to do this?
His gaze fell as he retracted his hands slightly, alternating its course to the shampoo bottle.
Coward!
He was always chickening out, even when he managed to have the razor just a mini-meter above his skin.
COWARD!
His mind would scream at him.
It no longer was a way of escape or a stress reliever. No, now it was a matter of pride and guts. A need to prove to himself he wasn't a coward. He couldn't be, he was already a list of things, he couldn't add coward on top.
Then, it all changed yesterday.
Taking a deep breath, Cole sealed himself for the point of no return. He tighten his grip on the white handle and with his eyes shut and teeth clenched, he slide the blade across his shoulder (he wasn't going to cut in noticeable places even if he's always wearing a giant hoodie). He expected to feel a sting but nothing.
He glanced over and true enough, there was no trace of a cut. Relief filled his body but it didn't last. Anger quickly build up within his soul as he no glared at the blade inside his palm.
He really was just a coward.
That word somehow motivated him to try again, and again when it only resulted in failure. Each time more forceful than the last
How did people even cut with this stuff?! He could barely make a fucking scratch!
In his fit of rage, he violently threw the razor against the wall, an act more worthy of Kai. The tiny object broke into 2 pieces, and scattered across the titled floor. Seeing the item break seems to appease the raven's anger and with a resigned sigh, when to pick up the broken thing.
Interestingly, the razor had somehow divided with the blade separated from it's protective surrounding. Unfortunately, he hadn't noticed that tiny detail before he incautiously pick up the pieces. This predictably ended up with Cole receiving a good cut across his palm. He had yelp and let go of the blade, but after, his eyes were focusing on the the blood pouring out, as if hypnotize. After a few minutes, he tore his eyes away and unto the blade instead.
So this was how
He didn't have the chance to test out his theory since Jay suddenly banged on the door and 'begged' him to hurry up. Which lead to now.
Should he?
He gazed at the blade before closing his eyes.
The tub reflected red gliding down its white surface
Sooooooo? Review for me?
Thanks to everyone still reading this, it means a lot to me.
Apologies on not replying reviews today, it's kinda 2 am right now sooooooooooo, sorry.
But please! do review, I love them and will reply to the previous ones next chap.
Until Next Time
CI out
