Me no own Charmed :(

Me own Prestyn and storyline :)

Me no own diary entry/poem/song :(

Me own final resultof diary entry and story :)

Simple enough?

The songs are random and cut and pasted to make one final result - Tina Arena 'Wasn't It Good?' Evanescence - 'Feilds of Innocence' and Lillian Axe - 'Innocence' (well most of that one is mine...)


Chapter four

Wouldn't you know it? I've lost my courage isn't that funny? Me… lost for words. Not that it really matters, because I know you know and you would have told me yourself if you could.

Remember the first time we met each other? You were in your world, and I was in mine. Breaking down the barriers we broke all the rules.

And wasn't it good? Wasn't it fine? While I took for granted you took your time. Longing for love, how hard we tried… It's over now, that's understood, but wasn't it good?

So long together; two would-be lovers caring for flowers that just wouldn't grow. And in all of our tomorrows we'll have yesterdays and wasn't it good?

I still remember the world from the eyes of a child. Slowly those feelings were clouded by what I know now.

Where has my heart gone? An uneven trade for the real world… I want to go back to believing in everything and knowing nothing at all.

I still remember the sun. It was always warm on my back, but somehow it seems colder now.

Where has my heart gone? Trapped in the eyes of a stranger… I want to go back to believing in everything and knowing nothing at all.

Phoebe put her pen down and clenched and opened her fist to get feeling back into it. She had been clenching her penso hard that her knuckles had turned white. After she had stormed out to the front of the house, she was soon in the company of Paige. Paige spoke, but Phoebe didn't register anything being said. She was too focused on the goings on at hand; Cole, Prestyn, Death, Premonition to a child, what would happen if…

All these thoughts needed to be expressed. She didn't want to speak about them, so she apologized to Paige and told her she wanted to be alone. She got up and walked to her room where she unlocked her draw, unlocked her journal and started writing in it. She worked best when her thoughts were in poetry form – everything flowed and came to her; it came a lot easier to her as she was often the one to come up with spells for her and her sisters.

Her journal was filled with so much emotion and passion since she first found out about being a witch. Her journal started out with her being happy about being a witch, but as each entry entered the small leather-bound book the happiness faded and the pages became filled with sorrow through love and loss, fear, anger, confusion. Her entries were still filled with passion and emotion, but they appeared repetitive and empty.

Pure and white as the driven snow, she doesn't know…

The wicked ways of the world have not found her young, restless heart…She is blind to the darkness that surrounds her young innocent life …

Cool, cool innocence; how I yearn to have that back once again.

Phoebe shut her journal, locked it, put it in her drawer and locked that too. She then walked down the stairs and into the kitchen where Piper, Paige and Leo were seated.

"Areyou okay, honey?" Piper asked, concern evident.

"Let's recap shall we?" Phoebe countered in a low voice. "So, my daughter gets sent a premonition by the Elders of me dying at the hands of Cole; Cole is back and after me and probably Prestyn, whom he's never met… is that giving you and idea of how I am?"

"Phoebe everything will be fine, Prestyn will be okay, nothing will happen to either of you," Leo assured.

Phoebe shot daggers at his direction. "I can't talk to you right now."

Leo sighed, got up and left the kitchen.

"Leo," Piper called after him. She got up too and walked out after him.

Phoebe grabbed Piper's arm as she began to walk past Phoebe, her dark brown eyes locking on to her big sister's soft brown ones. "I'm sorry Piper."

"It's not your fault Phoebs, but it's not Leo's either," Piper returned gently. She continued over to Leo.

Phoebe sat down at the table next to Paige. "I'm not overreacting am I? I have every reason to act the way that I am don't I?"

"Honey, you're not overreacting, you have every right to be mad…"

"But?"

"But Leo said he tried, so I mean, maybe you're overreacting in that part of it."

"She's my baby girl, Paige. Anything that threatens her life is a huge thing to me… she's my world. She is my whole world Paige… if anything happens to her…" Phoebe couldn't continue. She was engulfed by tears. Paige moved over to her big sister and put a comforting arm around Phoebe's shoulders. She gave her a kiss on the forehead and a comforting squeeze.

After a few moments, when Paige felt Phoebe was calming down, Paige decided it was safe to talk again. "Phoebe honey, I can understand where you're coming from – but that premonition was about you, not Prestyn…"

Phoebe wiped away the hot stream of tears and took a deep breath. "Premonitions don't give the full scene… who's to say he won't go after Prestyn after he kills me?"

"He won't," Paige said sternly. "We won't let him do anything to harm that little girl… and we sure as hell won't let anything happen to you."

"Paige," Phoebe started, tears starting to form. "I don't care about what happens to me. I only care about my child." Phoebe stopped upon realization of what was just said. "I care about you and Piper too, but you guys can hold your own; she's a baby… I can't let anything happen to her. I'll sell my soul to Satan to make sure nothing happens to her…"

Piper cleared her throat in the doorway; sad and sorry to destroy the moment. "Leo's gone to get the kids. They're tired and antsy… sorry 'bout destroying the moment guys…"

"Sit down Piper," Phoebe began. Phoebe needed to make one thing clear to her sisters. She took a deep breath. "Cole is coming for me. If anything happens to me –"

"Phoebe I don't want to hear this," Piper told her younger sister.

"You have to. If anything happens to me, I need you both to look after her and treat her as your own –"

"Phoebe –" Paige began.

"Listen!" She said sternly through gritted teeth. "I want you to really listen. This needs to be said because if something happens to me, someone needs to be there to fulfill the role that I couldn't. If something happens to me, I want the truth told to her. No lies and no sugar-coating. Guide her; teach her morals, rules and respect; be there for her as an aunt and a friend and support her in everything she chooses; punish her if she does something wrong and teach her about the craft – do everything I couldn't…" Phoebe trailed off as she noticed orbs come through the roof.

Each girl wiped away their tears and stayed in silence; until the silence was broken by the children. Wyatt and Chris made their way to Piper, while Prestyn made her way to Phoebe. Phoebe took her child into her lap. Prestyn cupped her mother's face and turned it towards her little one. "Momma, you been cryin'?"

"Yeah baby I have been."

"Why?" She asked in a small innocent voice that made Phoebe's eyes begin to tear again.

"Because I'm scared."

"Of the bad man?"

"Yeah baby, because of the bad man."

"I told you Aunt Phoebe, I'll protect you! And Prestyn and Chris!" Wyatt yelled.

"I can look after myself," Chris mumbled in a small voice.

Piper pulled her sons in and told them to hush in a stern yet gentle voice.

An awkward silence filled the manor. Leo broke it.

"I think it's time for all little people to get to bed, huh?" He suggested. Piper and Phoebe nodded.

Wyatt and Chris sighed as Leo ushered them up the stairs.

"No momma!" Prestyn screamed in a hoarse voice. "No! No bedtime! The bad man!" She was shaking her head rapidly, tears streaming down her face, her face red with emotion and her little hazel eyes filled with fear.

"The bad man is only in your dreams. He won't hurt you, he's not real," Phoebe could have choked on what came out of her mouth next, "I promise." Her stomach churned. "Come on. Off to bed little one. Uncle Leo's waiting." Prestyn sniffled and cried out a little more. She shuffled over to Leo like a puppy with its tail between its legs. She looked back over to her mother with fear, concern and sadness twisted into one emotion planted on her innocent five year old face.

"I... love... you momma," Prestyn said through heavy sobs.

"Baby, I love you too." She let tears of her own fall. She watched as her child walked up the stairs with her little hand in Leo's big hand; still sobbing.

Phoebe looked at her sisters. Piper's face was tear-streaked, with more tears forming, and Paige was fighting a losing battle with her emotions.

Between sobs, Phoebe revealed the one thing she promised herself she would never do. "I just lied to my little girl." She put her head in her hands and cried heart-breaking tears.