Chapter Two: Aryl Eaten

Next day Link wakes up on Outset and does morning routine: yawn, scratch butt, take a dump and mourn for his hat. Then he goes to his grandma for some soup.

Link: Cook old hag.

Grandma: But the most important ingredient is love! And love takes time!

Link: Shut up! You're not my real grama.

Grandma: sob sob sob.

Link goes out of door and crashes into pot lady.

Pot lady: Oh the horor! My precious pot. But never fear! I had a pot inside the pot. But gimee ten rupees anyway.

Link: Never you pig face fat lard jerkwad poo smelling thing!

Link harrases pot lady and gets twenty rupees off of her.

Link walks straight into Orca's house.

Orca: So, you're back for a re-match, eh Link?

Link: Ummm… no.

Orca: Too bad.

Orca suddenly pulls out a big spear.

Orca: Die Link!

Link: Ahhhhhhhhhh!

Orca knockes away Link's sword and hits Link in the forehead with the spear-butt. Link sees black and falls on the floor. When he wakes up, he's in his room, tied to a chair.

Grandma: You're grounded, son.

Link: Son?

Grandma: Yes. I'm your mother.

First part of Bethovin's fifth goes on. Da da da da!

Link: Ahhhhhhhhh! My moms five thousand!

Faint

Wake up

Faint

Wake up

Then Link gets an idea. He grabbs a dagger that was somehow in his belt and he cuts the ropes. Then he jumps out the window.

Link: That was easy.

Trip

Link: Ow ow ow ow!

Grandma: What was that noise?

Link: Uh oh.

Link injurs the black pig and jumps on it, using it as a hoursy.

Link: To the mountain thingy!

The pig obeys and goes up the mountain with Link. Link sees his sister getting devowered by sea gulls.

Aryl: Nooooo! Why did you betray me!

Sea gull #1: Gimme a piece of her leg.

Sea gull #2: Get it yourself you !#$?&.

Aryl: Whyyyyyyy?

Link: Yay! I get to keep her useless telescope!

End of chapter 2

Again, sorry it was so short. If you were offended by Aryl getting eaten then you should have read the title. Either way, chapter three should be up soon.

Feere Gorone, exalted wind mage of Hyrule, signing out.