AN: Yes, it is here, to celebrate getting 300 reviews, at last, for all of you out there, waiting excitedly for this moment, It is another episode of…
BTW: MY BIRTHDAY IS ON JULY 21ST!!!!!! HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY!!!!!! SEND IN ALL PRESENTS TO ME!!! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!! AND WATCH AS I EAT YOUR CAKE!!!!!!!
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Lilly's World of Cows!!!!
And today, in the studio, we have….Miroku!!!! Everyone, lets give him a round of applause!!!
Audience: (claps weakly)
LM: Alrighty Miroku, let's get down to business.
Miroku: (sly look as hand begins to twitch) Yes?
LM: (pulls out rubber mallet) Now, first of all, we need to lay down some ground rules.
Miroku: (blinks) Ground rules?
LM: Yes, like number 1, you are not allowed to grope any behinds and number 2 you can't ask anyone to bear your child, that includes females, AND MALES.
Miroku: (sheepish look) Why do I have to follow them?
LM: Because if you don't, I'll be sure to let Sango know, and I don't think she'll be too happy with you, will she?
Miroku: (grumbles about evil interviewers and evil purple teddy bears.) FINE!! BUT WAIT TILL MY MOMMY HEARS!!!
LM: (sweatdrop) Okay, first of all, I think all of our viewers out there would like to know—
Miroku: I know, I know!
LM: …You do?
Miroku: Yup! They would like to know ….If they can have the honor of bearing my child! And the answer is, of course, yes! (smiles proudly)
LM: … … … … …
Audience: … … … … …
LM: (bangs mallet into palm threateningly) Could I have that again?
Miroku: (looks very nervous) Uh…Um…I said…I have…absolutely…no clue…Please…be my guest…go right on ahead?
LM: That's better. Now, as I was saying, Inuchick06, InuyashaShowFanatic, InuAngel, and myself would like to know, WHY MUST YOU GRAB WOMEN'S BUTTS???????????
Miroku: … … … Do I really have to answer that?
LM: (bangs mallet again) Do you really have to ask?
Miroku: (sweats) No… I grab females behinds, because…its…a habit?
LM: Uh-huh… How did this peverted habit get started?
Miroku: Well, it started in Preschool. We were learning to square dance, and my hand 'accidentally' brushed against my partner's behind. It was soft, and really warm, like a marshmallow, and since then, I've been 'accidentally' grabbing female behinds. (smiles in dream land)
LM: … … … Okay! (claps over enthusiastically) Now! Time for, THE WARDROBE!!!
Miroku: What's the wardrobe?
Producer people: (whispering) Hey, that's not in the program!
LM: Now, let's take a closer look at your outrageous outfit in the previous chapter!
Miroku: (confused) My outfit?
LM: Yes, your stylish, yet unfashionable outfit from the previous chapter.
Miroku: (blinks) OHH….THAT outfit!
LM: (flips through the book) Ah-ha! Here we go! Let's start with the bell bottoms. Where did you get them, and what made you feel like wearing them?
Miroku: JC Penny, and I like bell bottoms, they make me look for feminine.
LM: O.o Platform shoes?
Miroku: Shoes R Us, and I trip easier in platforms.
LM: (Is there such a thing as shoes are us?) Both socks?
Miroku: I learned to knit them! Aren't they beautiful? (looks proudly at his mismatched socks)
LM: … … … Hawaiian shirt?
Miroku: Oh, got that when Inuyasha and I took a vacation at the farm. Found it in a stack of hay a cow was eating.
LM: O.o…. …. o.O … …And the…chain?
Miroku: (smiles) Ebay.
LM: Ebay? And the nose ring?
Miroku: Oh, that old thing? I got that off the blackmarket. It was a birthday present from some of my… crew…
LM: Hot pink lipstick?
Miroku: Stole from Inuyasha.
LM: Fake ear ring stud? Headless teddy bear nose ring?
Miroku: Hijacked it off an old lady, when I 'helped' her across the street.
LM: Hijacked it off an old lady? How sick and low are you?
Miroku: Hey! She was asking for it! I mean, come on now! How many grandmas do you see walking around with ear ring studs as big as a hubcap?
LM: (suspicious glare) Is she in anyway related to you?
Miroku: Well, now that you mention it, she is my mother's mother's cousin's, uncles's, sister's, daughter's, father's, brother's, father's, sister, three times removed and to the power of 5.
Audience: (grabs notepads as they try to figure out what he just said)
LM: (Just ignores his last comment) Now, before you leave, some of our viewers would like to ask you a few questions.
Miroku: (laid back look) Ask away.
LM: Alrighty, first, from RavensFollower, if you could do any one thing for Sango, what would it be?
Miroku: Hmm…Sango, I would probably take her out to a … spa…yeah… (THE look appears in his eyes)
LM: InuyashaShowFanatic, will you marry any other girl besides Sango?
Miroku: I hope not! Sango's butt is the warmest and softest ever! I could live with that forever!
LM: (making mental note to tell Sango) InuAngel wants to know why do you destroy innocent TB?
Miroku: (glares around the studio) They're everywhere!!! HEAR MY CRY AND FEEL MY WRATH!!!!!! THEY ONCE ATTACKED ME IN MY SLEEP!!! SINCE THEN, I HAVE MADE A SOLEMN VOW TO DESTROY THEM ALL!!!
LM: NMareB4Xmas1223, how come you have a teddy bear collection?
Miroku: (calms down) Why, to destroy of course!
LM: Loverofangelus73069 would like to know how did you get purple eyes?
Miroku: You see, they're actually contacts that glow in the dark! Cool huh? Another great item from Ebay!
LM: Please tell Fanius when was the first time (age) you got slapped by a girl for being…well yourself?
Miroku: I was first slapped by a female at the age of 0. As soon as I was born, I pinched my mum's butt and she slapped me. From then on, she's been saying I've got mental problems, but I don't think so, do you?
LM: I'm going to choose not to answer that one. Last but least, Demonchik39 would like to know that if you could have one wish, what would it be?
Miroku: (suddenly thoughtful) One wish huh? Hmmm…Well, I would wish for something from Victoria Secrets.
LM & Audience: Facevaults
Miroku: Can I go now? Sango's waiting for me. She says she doesn't trust me in a crowd of people, but I think I'm very trust worthy don't you? (begins walking out)
LM: (lifts head up and in a scary voice) Miroku…DraGonMistress704 says the teddy bear mafia are after you…and they're not pleased with all the teddy bears you've destroyed.
Miroku: NOOOOO!!!!!!!! NOO!!!! I TELL YOU THEY STALK ME!!!! OH THE FEAR AND TERROR!!!! (high tails out of the studio)
LM: (giggles insanely to self as she pulls out her teddy bear mafia badge)
Audience: (once again, claps weakly)
Producers: Well folks! You've just read another edition of, Lilly's World of Cows! When the review counter hits 400, you get, Lilly vs. Inuyasha!
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AN: How did you like it? I know its not that great, but like I said, Idea Muse is still hating me. I really need to get a hold of some happy pills. Anyway, go ahead and start asking your questions for Inuyasha. Did I mention my B-day is on July 21st?
