Title: The Wedding Gift

Author: BlazeorFade

Rating: T

Summary: What kind of gift to Cameron choose for House to send to Mindy and Brandon's wedding? And what did he actually send?

Disclaimer: House belongs to much more creative, and when I say creative I mean richer, people than me.

AN: I was watching my House Dvd's last night and when I was watching the end of Occam's Razor I got to thinking about what Cameron would send as a wedding present. This is the result of insomnia and a mini House marathon at three in the morning.

Brandon carried a laughing, ecstatic Mindy over the threshold into their honeymoon suite. He had to sidestep the gifts that had been sent ahead of them to the hotel room to get the bed. Spinning in a circle, just to hear his new wife laugh again he put her down on the bed. She pulled him down with her to kiss him deeply.

"I love you." He said smiling her kiss.

"I love you too." She said giggling, then gestured toward the living room area they'd just passed through. "Go get the champagne, Brandon?"

"Okay, I'll be right back." He kissed both her hands and rose to retrieve it form the cart of complimentary goodies for the newlyweds.

As Mindy waited she decided to look have a look around. Her white dress swished softly when she walked around the room running her hands over the furniture, all in hues of pale pink and white and red. She got to a cherry wood table by the window, piled high with presents form friends and family.

'Aunt Alise, Cousin Sharon, and……' She read the name on a medium sized box and smiled in surprise.

'Dr. Gregory House.' She read. The handwriting on the card looked to feminine to have been written by him. She hoped Dr. Cameron picked something nice.

Unable to contain her curiosity Mindy tore the pretty silver and blue wrapping paper to reveal a box which she hastily opened. Pushing the tissue paper aside Mindy took out another card, this one with different handwriting.

'Thought this might be more useful than the gravy boat Cameron tried to stick you people with. No one ever uses those things anyway- House' The little note card read. Mindy furrowed her brow and took a tentative look inside the box before she burst out laughing.

The first thing Allison Cameron saw when she entered the office that morning was the silver gravy boat she'd carefully picked out, sitting on the coffee counter, filled with little packets of sugar. Almost as surprising was the fact that House was sitting at the table swinging his cane. He smirked at her when he saw her perplexed expression.

"Thanks but my birthday already passed." He said pointing his cane at her tasteful gift.

"That was for Brandon and Mindy's wedding." Cameron said with that hurt puppy dog expression she was so good at. "You remember the kid with the-"

"I remember him. I just didn't send it." House said cutting off her explanation. How could he forget gout boy, especially after spending all those hours going through the pharmacy trying to prove to himself that he was always right.

"Nice House, you know it wasn't going to kill you to send a wedding present. No one would think you were going soft." Cameron said in annoyance putting down her things and retrieving a mug to fill with coffee. Having coffee before dealing with House was what usually kept her and everyone else from beating him to death with his cane. She feared for his safety that morning if she snapped.

"I sent one." House replied calmly.

"Its sitting right there on the table." Cameron pointed to the gravy boat turned sugar holder.

"I said I sent a gift just not your gift," House explained getting up and hobbling to where she was to pout himself a cup of coffee.

"What did you send?" Cameron froze with her coffee cup centimeters from her mouth when she heard his terrifying statement.

"On the bright side I don't have to mount an expedition to find the sugar when your not at work." House was saying in that smart ass musing tone he had for making you feel like an idiot.

"What did you send to those poor people, House?" Cameron demanded. Hadn't they been through enough already?

"A riding crop and a dog collar, I seem to remember her liking it rough." House replied taking a sip from his coffee. Cameron stared open mouthed, she wasn't sure if he was serious or not. Damnit she knew she shouldn't have left him with the responsibility of actually sending it. He must have unwrapped it and replaced her nice, polite weeding present with who the hell knew what.

"Seriously?" Was all she could think to ask.

Now she really looked like he had just kicked her three legged puppy, House thought, amused. He toyed with the idea of letting her think that but decided to be kind and put her out of her misery. Just a little.

"Relax, I sent something useful, which is more than I can say for thing." He pointed his cane at the offending gravy boat accusingly.

"What did you send?" Cameron asked miserably. House just smiled a little and hobbled away to his office, leaving her shocked and wondering if she should start writing the apology note yet.

"Mindy, whatcha laughing at?" Brandon asked coming back into the bedroom with a bottle of champagne and two glasses.

"This." Mindy motioned for him to come over and handed him Dr. House's note. He lifted an eyebrow and took a look in the box.

"Son of a bitch." He said laughing in surprise. Inside the box was a two pack of Dayquil and Nyquil. He took them from their box to set them aside shaking his head when he saw something lay underneath.

He reached in and took out two shiny new mp3 players. Attached was a cryptic note.

'If you know a kid with a bird tattooed on his arm, keep these away from him.'

-The End