Title:
Freedom
Author:
Nekocin
Warnings: OoC, angst
Pairings:
KaibaJounouchi, mention of MalikBakura
Disclaimer:See
prologue
Additional notes: blatant yaoi
Author's
notes: see end
---- Chapter 1 ----
"Is she going to be okay, doctor?"
Katsuya looked down at his sister, who's lying tugged away under her covers. Face pale and ill.
"So it seems. All she needs is enough rest and healthy food. Make sure she doesn't concentrate on one thing for more than just an hour. Let her read, or sew, or play an instrument or anything that can keep her busy," the doctor said, packing up his case and heading for the door.
"Thank you, doctor."
He sent the doctor a
formal smile as he walked the other to the door.
"Your mother's death must have been almost a dead blow to her, Katsuya,"
Katsuya's smile dimmed. He stared at the door. He didn't want to turn around and spill.
"Katsuya, I've been with your family for years. I understand how you feel--about your parents' deaths and now Shizuka's ill. So I'll give you the opportunity to come to me whenever you want to talk about your problems."
The doctor's eyes softened as he reached his hand out to run his fingers through Katsuya's hair, affectionately. His fingers went gently across Katsuya's scalp, running careful strokes through the strands of hair. Almost too soothingly. The touch reminded Katsuya of something- he froze.
In his dreamscape Katsuya felt like he's floating above a black whirlpool. He's half sinking down into nothingness, when something soft and something great kept him conscious, calling him back. He woke up, noticing vaguely that he's clinging on to Kaiba while lying naked next to his warm body. Kaiba's fingers were running through his hair. Too gently.
"Katsuya--Katsuya?"
A warm hand touched his forehead, snapping him back to reality.
"Are you okay, Katsuya? You look pale."
"I-I'm fine, sir."
Katsuya dropped his eyes, absently touching his chest, where his heart was throbbing violently in fright. He felt as if the blood in his face had drained away. No. He mustn't think back about that night.
The doctor looked worriedly down at him as he pulled his hand away. Katsuya forced himself to smile trying to calm his frightened heart and nodded his head.
"I'm okay... I was just thinking of something unpleasant. Don't worry about me," he said. He managed to keep his voice from shaking and sounding small and took a tentative step back.
The doctor looked hurt or even insulted when Katsuya had moved away, but he did not dwell too much on the younger one's behaviour.
"All right. I'll check on your sister for any progress next week, Katsuya," the doctor said and clasped Katsuya's hand for a firm handshake.
Once the doctor left, Katsuya threw his arms round himself and released everything. The rising fear. The bitter sadness. The loss. He let his body tremble, using the door as a leaning pole...
What had he done? What had he done? Why--he thought he'd been sure of doing -that- for a good deed, he'd thought he was going to be all right after that night. Of course, he had thought about the consequences, spending a night with Mr. Kaiba would not be a pleasant experience. He knew he would probably feel bad afterwards, but he--
He didn't know he would end up like this. yet he knew he would, but then again he didn't. He knew he would kill a part of himself, but he didn't know it was going to be much harder than he first expected.
He hugged himself more protectively, breathing hard.
There was a voice in the pit of his stomach, dragging him down as he kept his thoughts of his complicated situation running through his mind--trying to find the fault. The fault of why he wasn't all right that moment.
He felt empty, shameful--DIRTY-
Why? He didn't do anything wrong. He'd accepted Mr. Kaiba's condition because Shizuka needed the money for her medicine... The void kept dragging him down, his body continued to shake, more violently than before. How shameful! Wrong--he felt so violated. But wasn't he being a hypocrite? Wasn't he the one who agreed with that loan shark?
He found himself being kissed by Mr.Kaiba's hot lips. It was beyond wonderful in a sense, which confused him. The moment had been--somehow--pleasant and dirty. Intense but not really. Heart-stopping perhaps... and his mind swam out of control. Those lips pressed deeper.
"Big brother?"
Katsuya was pulled back to reality and snapped his head up, startled. He pushed himself away from the door steadily, forced his painful thoughts at the back of his mind and smiled carefully as he made his way towards Shizuka's bed. His brown eyes met Shizuka's own doe brown eyes. They held so much innocence. So much worth. He will not lose her.
Worriedly, he sat on the edge of her bed. "What is
it, Shizuka?"
He made an effort not to hug her. If he did,
she would notice something was amiss. "Something" that
included the money for her medicine. Again, he felt the guilt running
through his gut like a rapier, a sword or much worse, a gattling gun.
She searched his face carefully, but did not answer him
immediately.
Her brown eyes bore through his own, painfully
stinging him. Under her innocent scrutiny he felt judged, even though
he was sure she wasn't one to judge other people, and weakened, even
though he wasn't the patient in the bed.
When had those eyes
turned from comforting with soft cushions into poisonous snakes?
When Shizuka still didn't answer him, he became nervous. His fingers itched for action. They itched for something to distract him. So he leaned forward to touch his sister's pale forehead, asking, "What's wrong, Shizuka? Do you need anything? Water? Cake? A book?"
A small sad smile appeared on her delicate doll face. Shizuka reached out a hand and cupped Katsuya's cheek.
"I don't understand why you're making this harder for yourself," She said in a quiet voice, pausing to look down at his fidgeting fingers that were wringing the ends of his white shirt till the ends wrinkled. "--I am a Jounouchi too, you know?"
He suddenly felt like telling her. She has the right to know where the money came from. "Shizuka, I-,"
"Everything's
going to be all right. Don't worry too much," With that same
quite voice she shushed him.
Shizuka then smiled. The words made
him smile too. He held his sister's hand gently and squeezed.
Shizuka's just so naive. She wouldn't understand his position so he rather not tell her where he had gone the other night.
--------X--------
He had been invited to a business party arranged by one of his father's partners. He didn't want to go; Shizuka was still unwell. He didn't want to discuss anything with his father's friends who were connected to the higher circles... like Mr. Kaiba; Shizuka would feel left behind.
Besides,
he didn't like stuffy parties where in he must behave as Jounouchi's
oldest child, who was quick-minded and carefree... he didn't feel
like doing anything. So why's he there anyways, wearing a stuffy
formal suit, staring at the wooden door?
Shizuka had insisted him
to go. The family lawyer had also insisted, believing that the
business party was set in honor to his father and maybe they would
announce some good news too, regarding the older Jounouchi's
business. Since he's supposed to inherit the Jounouchi business,
which he had not known it existed; Katsuya was forced to go to the
party.
"Some things are just bound to happen, like
this formal party for your family honor," the family lawyer had
said when Katsuya had wondered out loud why the party was going to be
held.
"Don't worry, big brother. You'll do fine. Anything you
do is okay, haven't you noticed?" Shizuka had encouraged
innocently, when he'd complained- not "anything is okay."
Not after that night... Shizuka did not know so he did not argue.
"Jounouchi, we've been waiting for you,"
The
host, Ryuuji, had opened the door himself, smiling. He was dressed in
the customary formal wear; white over all shirt with long sleeves and
cuffs, dark brown sleeveless vest, black tie ribbon that hung loosely
under the detailed frilled collar, black pair of pantaloons, a pair
of carefully polished black shoes and not to forget the black hair
ribbon that tied Mr. Ryuuji's long hair into a pony tail.
Katsuya
greeted formally with a nod and a handshake.
"You don't have
to do this, Ryuuji. But I appreciate your kindness to honor my
father,"
Ryuuji raised a quizzical eyebrow, but did not drop his smile.
"Ah... if that's how you see the party, Jounouchi,"
"Pardon?"
"No matter, no matter. Please come inside,"
Ryuuji waved the matter away still smiling and led Katsuya inside. As Katsuya followed Ryuuji into the grand parlor, he started to notice little stuff he had not noticed before. The parlor was brightly lit by large chandeliers that hung above their heads; the noise of the other guests chattering rapidly among one another was loud enough to hear from his distance and the halls were shining like mirrors. Which was so unlike the business parties at which he'd used to attend.
Thinking about Ryuuji, who was walking in front of him and talking about what he had missed the passing hours, Katsuya found himself studying the host's moves, his walk and his subtle body language of an unconscious dancer. He was moving elegantly, boisterously and excitedly in front of him as if he couldn't contain the excitement inside much longer.
His shoulders were set perfectly straight as he walked ahead
proudly. His feet seemed to be tapping the polished marble floor,
creating a mystic tone of the Lost in the middle of a mirror world.
He thought about Ryuuji's unusual green eyes, emeralds perhaps.
Some way or another Katsuya had finally noticed how attractive Ryuuji
was. No wonder why Shizuka's friends were trying their best to catch
the guy's attention. Though, he personally didn't think Ryuuji had
the same chiseled features of an awakened Adonis in the myths he used
to read about.
Katsuya envied him a little. Not for his looks. Not for his money. Not for his attitude. He envied Ryuuji for having so many admirers. At least Ryuuji didn't have to deal with what -he- had got himself into.
"... You should've been here an hour or two earlier. Then, you would've witnessed Ishtar and Bakura's shower of love," Ryuuji said, moving his hands around in the air.
"Really? Why's that?"
Katsuya tried to sound politely interested just in case Ryuuji ever got a feeling he had not been listening. Ryuuji stopped in front of a big door made of of oak perhaps, which led to the actual business reunion, and then turned round to face Katsuya. He pulled a face -somewhere between disgusted and amused-, making Katsuya wonder what he'd actually missed.
"Their shower of love is...," Ryuuji looked around suspiciously, leaned closer to Katsuya, as if he was afraid someone would listen in on his conversation with Katsuya. "... it's not something you should worry too much about since you're such a womanizer,"
That didn't say anything to Katsuya, so he sent Ryuuji a questioning look to elaborate. Ryuuji, however, had pulled away and pushed open the door.
Katsuya stared at the scene in front of him.
In the middle of the chamber a grand table had been stripped from its cloth and was lain out half-destroyed in front of everyone. The food, which must have once stood on that grand table, had been passed aside to much smaller tables on either sides of the table, crowding all the food bowls none-too-neatly. And the rest of the unmentionables laid scattered in the middle of the room.
And instead of dressing the table, the table cloth was used to tie up someone going by the name of sir Bakura.
"How dare you come close to my- to what's mine!" sir Bakura said aloud, his voice rose to near hatred.
Someone cracked a whip other guests jumped aside as a lanky man with platinum blonde hair, slightly dark-skinned, wearing the formal wear like Ryuuji, walked towards sir Bakura. Bakura glared menacingly at the other with his brown eyes, white-gray locks of hair framed his, in Katsuya's eyes, cherubim face.
"It's your loss, hun,"
Katsuya noticed that some of the guests turned red (they were embarrassed perhaps) and started to whisper behind cupped hands.
"What on earth is going on in here?" Ryuuji exclaimed, looking quite horrified. He continued yelling bloody murder as he stalked towards the culprits that were making a scene, unconsciously forgetting Jounouchi was hovering at the entrance.
"Bakura, Ishtar! What on earth are you doing?" Ryuuji finally got their attention. Both men looked towards him.
Katsuya winced slightly at the sight of both men; bruises, cuts and shredded clothes. What made two obvious well-behaved gentlemen like the Ishtar and Bakura to fight each other like cat and mouse? He didn't want to know, judging from the way the other guests's were whispering among each other. Must be something very... shameful.
"He has tried to get with what's mine!" Ishtar said.
"Liar!" Bakura accused.
Ishtar then shot Bakura an irrate glare, tightening his grip on the whip.
"You're just jealous, because you weren't getting any," Bokura said, tugging his arms to get his tied up wrists loose. Without much success.
"You two could've done your thing outside. Look what you did to my furniture!" Ryuuji pointed out seething. "What were you two thinking!"
Both had the grace to look apologetic to the host.
--------X--------
The mess was cleaned up quickly by scurrying servants.
Ryuuji did not kick both of them out of his house since he's good friends with them. The party had resumed as if nothing had happened and Katsuya was introduced around. To his surprise, Ryuuji's party was attended by his father's acquaintance's sons. It was a party for people his age.
For once, Katsuya did not feel comfortable to be around people his age. Each of the invited guests reminded him of how carefree he had been before, talking freely about their latest interests in beautiful, young maiden they had met awhile ago, about their fathers' business, about the upcoming war with Germany and anything related.
He felt out of place as Ryuuji dragged him from one group then to another group to hold short conversations about anything which interested them. He had not thrown himself into a discussion on topics which he knew best. In matter of fact, he had spoken only when spoken to, which was none all because the host was, after all, supposed to be in the center of attention at the party.
It
didn't look like business party at all, Katsuya noted as he stared
into his own glass of red wine. It wasn't even a tribute to his
father's death. He knew he shouldn't have come. It was a waste of
time to be around meek lambs that only know the meaning of chasing
skirts and boost their egos through nonexistent arguments.
Someone
threw a way too-friendly arm round his shoulder. He stiffened and
forgot to breathe for a second. The typical champagne scent that
stuck on Ryuuji's clothes slowly wafted into his nostrils.
"What's
with the face, Jou?"
He did not respond. All he could do was
staring wide-eyed at the host and fighting back the urge to punch
Ryuuji. He wasn't supposed to get so close to his face.
He felt
the beginning of a stomach ache.
-CRASH!-
Everyone looked up at the sound of ear piercing shatter of wine glass.
Katsuya's stomach ache worsened when he stared at the person
at fault, sucking in his breath unconsciously--he gasped.
There
standing not too far away from the East balcony was Kaiba. Kaiba, the
loan shark. Kaiba in the customary black suit, tightly collared round
the neck, cuffs neatly clasped, making him look like some kind of
ethereal being that took lifes away. Because he was a Kaiba.
What's he doing here?
Katsuya didn't notice Ryuuji was already making his way to Kaiba. He didn't notice how loud Ryuuji was screaming his lungs out. All he could see was... flashes of images of that night. Kaiba had touched him. Kaiba had kissed him. He had been... in Kaiba's bed.
His body felt flushed.
"Two broken objects in one night in my house is just too much! Don't you know how valuable this stuff is?" Ryuuji complained.
Kaiba kept quiet. His icy eyes were boring into Katsuya's eyes.
"What's the meaning of this, Mr. Kaiba? I know you're not really a klutz so it's not an excuse. If the wine is not of your liking you should have put the glass aside instead of breaking one of my grandmother's glass collections,"
Kaiba finally looked down at the much shorter Ryuuji.
Katsuya slowly backed away, feeling dizzy already even if he hadn't finished his first drink. He wanted to go home. No one had noticed how he headed to the door. No one had noticed how horrified his face had looked. No one had noticed his retreat... except Kaiba whose icy eyes seemed to pierce through his back like needles as if wanting to find the mark Kaiba had left.
Cold sweat ran down his back as he reached the general hall. He broke into a run. Why was Kaiba also at the party? Why had he gone to this party in the first place? Why was he running for his life?
He remembered the touches, the pressing of Kaiba's body close by, the hot breath - he tripped over Ryuuji's expensive carpet. He scrambled back on his feet.
"Wha-?"
An arm came out of nowhere and round its way around his neck. A hand covered his mouth from screaming. Katsuya's eyes widened as he found himself being held in a death grip. He choked silently.
"Katsuya Jounouchi, the last male heir of the Jounouchi Empire,"
The person behind him said in a low voice, above his head.
It wasn't Kaiba.
Katsuya felt being dragged along. The voice sounded familiar and yet unfamiliar. The way the syllables tumbled out, using determined timbres that reminded him of someone he once knew.
How did he know his name? What Jounouchi empire?
Katsuya struggled, trying to pull himself loose. He had to get out of here! This was not the time to play helpless.
"Calm down. Stop struggling!"
He kicked around blindly, elbowed as hard as he could into the other's ribs and punched his assaulter's face. "Let go!"
"Ow, bastard!"
The grip loosened and Katsuya broke himself free.
Katsuya
was not prepared when his assaulter punched him hard in the gut. The
air was forced out of his lungs, the pain doubled the necessary need
of his body shutting his senses down and he slid into someone's arms.
He went black out; he couldn't breathe...
-- To be continued --
TheNekoTalks:
X3 I love implying!
And I love Kaiba's dynamic character! And Jounouchi... TAT I'm
sorry...
I also apologize for the latenes... TAT I
couldn't find my notebook in which I've already this story till
chapter 4. So I have to force myself to remember what exactly I'd
written for chapter 1.
I hope everyone had received my "love letter" (AKA review reply). If not, please be patient for my response I'll send it soon. n.n
Thank you for reading!
.:Nekocin:.
