The Man Hunt and Manly Problems
This chapter probably is going to be the last chapter (I really mean it!)… Or I could suggest making a short chapter 5 (WOOT!). Well thanks for the reviews are readers out there so far :P!
If this chap gets boring pliz read atleast the middle and then on!
Pliz R&R!
"THANK YOU SO MUCH KABUTO!" Naruto yells out happily.
Kabuto smiles, "Yeah… well anyways we need to find somewhere safe around here to hide, because we are up against 3 classes."
"Do you mean three classes of ninja rank?" Kankurou asks
"Nope!" Kabuto thinks for a moment, "The boys, the flat-chested, and Tsunade-Girls!"
Naruto's nose starts bleeding, "I get it! 2 classes of girls and one class for boys!"
"Err… yeah Naruto…"
"Hey Kabuto, do you have anything on Tsunade on that porno card collection of yours?" Kankurou asks.
"Yeah…. and what do you mean porno collection! It's just some information about everyone on this world." Kabuto searches his card collection.
Kankurou impatiently waits, "Dude, you could make an excellent stalker!"
Kabutogives Kankurou the Tsunade card.
Kankurou examines it, "Awesome! It even has holographic boob action!"
Naruto's nose starts bleeding even more, "It does?"
Kabuto sighs, "You guys are hopeless perverts…"
Someone opens the door…
"Sh-t! Run!" Kabuto, Naruto, and Kankurou start running away from…. the janitor.
Naruto takes a deep breath of air, "Sorry Mr. janitor!"
"Yeah…"- POOF- The janitor turns into Gaara, "KANKUROU! YOU ARE GOING TO F-CKIN DIE!"
Kankurou wets his pants, "I think my nuts are crying!"
Gaara quickly runs to them, "YAHHH! KANKUROU BE READY TO HAVE YOUR SEX CHANGED!"
Kankurou starts crying, "I don't want to be a girl!"
Naruto and Kabuto start yelling at Kankurou, "COME ON DAMMIT! START RUNNING KANKUROU!"
Gaara covers Kankurou in sand, "ANY LAST WORD JACKASS BROTHER?"
Kankurou shakes, "I thought Naruto knocked you to your senses with the incredible ass-poke in one episode! Well hers my last words… I SAW YOU LOOKING AT A PLAYBOY MAGAZINE! HA! IN YOUR FACE!"
Naruto twitches, "I personally think those are a bit of… erm… bad last words… don't you think so too Kabuto…. Kabuto?" Naruto looks around and doesn't find Kabuto, "YOU DAMN P-SSY!" Naruto runs off.
Kankurou screams, "NO! Don't leave me here with Gaara!"
Gaara pupils dilate, "TIME TO DIE!" He does dessert coffin on Kankurou and makes him implode, leaving blood everywhere. "Time to lick up his blood!" Gaara starts licking the floor… "THIS IS KOOL-AID DAMMIT! AND NOW I HAVE A DAMN SPLINTER ON MY TONGUE!" Gaara stares at the ground for a minute, "It was scarecrow… YOU WILL DIE FOR SURE NOW KANKUROU!" Long silence… "After I get this damn splinter out of my tongue!"
"That was awesome Kankurou!" Naruto whispers to him.
Kankurou replies back, "Thanks!"
"But I have one question… about your brother Gaara… Does he have a Speedo on?" Naruto asks.
"You mean the thing that's on Chouji's head?"
"Yeah, the thing that superman wears!"
"Why ask though Naruto?"
"Well, I've heard that a Speedo can give you ultra abilities, like Gaara's sand attacks."
"What? I thought a Speedo was for decoration!"
Kabuto starts laughing like crazy, "Are you guys stupid! A Speedo…. Erm…. Is….a… type of… how about we skip this?"
Naruto scratches his head, "Well…. Okay then… Kankurou, so does your brother wear one or not?"
Kankurou starts thinking, "I don't really know! Ask him yourself."
Kabuto looks around "Alright where shall we go next to hide?"
"Wait a sec'! We have to run around all night and try to get away from everyone else?"
"No sh-t Naruto!" Kankurou replies very back very sleepy.
Kabuto slaps Kankurou in the face, "Don't fall asleep, we still need to find a good and safe hiding spot!"
"Fine, I won't fall asleep!"
-Long Silence-
"Let's split up in this hallway." Naruto suggests.
They all look at the three different entrances.
"Fine Naruto, but only for a few seconds, then we all go to the fourth one together."
"Okay Kabuto."
They all go in a different hallway. Naruto goes into the first one and finds Someone in the darkness, instantly he goes for the incredible ass-poke… to find that he did it to Sakura.
"NARUTO!" Screams Sakura
"SORRY SAKURA-CHAN!" Naruto knocks her out, "I'm so sorry Sakura-chan!" Naruto runs back to the intersection and finds Kankurou and Kabuto there.
Kabuto looks at Naruto, "What was that!"
"Nothing Kabuto… just a little… Sexual Harassment."
"Sexual Harassment Naruto?" Kankurou asks and thinks to himself.
Naruto stutters, "Ermm… It was nothing."
The three of them leave the intersection and decide to go into the fourth hallway into… the snack bar… thinking that no one would be there.
"Hey, it's Speedo Magneto!"
Chouji frowns, "Stop calling me names!"
"I think Chouji is right Naruto, because I'm pretty sure he can crush your head with an ass cheek."
Kankurou starts laughing, "Good one Kabuto!"
"So Chouji, do you want to help us run away from everyone?" Kabuto asks Chouji like a little kid.
Chouji starts to smile, "Sure, as long as you supply me with a bunch of Donuts and Dog legs."
"Was that a sexual term?"
Kabuto yells at Naruto, "What the hell Naruto, he literally meant dog legs and donuts, not tools!"
"Well if he wants dog legs he should ask Kiba, and if he wants a spicy sausage he should ask Akamaru!"
Kankurou and Naruto start laughing hard.
Chouji's eyes open in excitement, "Is it really spicy! I like spicy!"
"Err… Sorry Chouji… Naruto didn't mean sausage; he meant Akamaru's pen-"
Chouji interrupts Kabuto, "If you give me the spicy sausage then I'll help you! Anything other than that then you can say hello to the Santa Clause's ass cheek!"
Kabuto, Naruto, and Kankurou leave the room to Chouji, who is snacking on the dumplings from the vending machine.
Kankurou sighs and throws his fist against a wall, "So Kabuto, Explain to me how we are going to cut a dogs dick off?"
"Why do we even need Chouji anyways? I mean, he'll probably eventually start cannibalism and eat his own flesh…" Naruto says scarred.
Kabuto whispers, "Alright, I've come up with a plan, but first we need some cover because I thought I heard something!" Kabuto uses a technique… –Henge Jutsu- ! They all turn into cats.
Naruto Meows to Kabuto, "Great Kabuto, I hope this doesn't end up into a damn musical!"
Kankurou meows to Naruto, "What, hate cats?"
"Yeah!" Naruto meows back.
Shino passes by, "Oh, hi little cats!"
Kankurou meows to Shino, "Puts some f-cking shampoo on, and you got a bunch of lice and dandruff in your hair you smelly moron!"
"Ahh that's cute, I love you too little kitten, I'll see you later!" Shino leaves into the next room.
"What the hell that was nasty! He didn't even know what the hell Kankurou was saying either!" Meows Naruto.
"Alright Naruto and Kabuto, pay attention! I've come up with a plan!"
-Three minutes later-
"I HAVE TO GET HUMPED BY AKAMARU, AND YOU TWO ARE THE DOG SLUTS? DUDE THIS IS TURNING INTO A HOMOSEXUAL MUSICAL!"
"Don't worry Naruto! He'll only be on you for a few seconds, then Kankurou will cut his ermm… off, then I'll throw it in the paper bag!"
"I WON'T DO THIS!"
Kankurou and Kabuto use their ninja skills to come Naruto down…
"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS! THIS IS MORPHINE NOT NINJA SKILLS!"
Kankurou and Kabuto try again, using their ninja skills for real this time. Kabuto uses henge jutsu on everyone to make them hot bitches… (don't blame me that the dictionary calls female dogs that! XP!). Next they find Akamaru in the hallway running out of the girl's bathroom.
Akamaru starts acting tough, "You chicks are lookin' hot tonight!"
-Disturbing …. Doggy play… my eyes hurt… errrmm…. Just look at the happy faces for now… EVIL! EVIL!-
Kankurou slowly uses his chakra… -SLICE…. And some really loud howling-
"Let's go!" Barks Kabuto.
"YOU ARE F-CKING DEAD KABUTO! YOU SAID THREE SECONDS NOT THREE MINUTES!" Barks Naruto in a very pissed way.
The three bitches (I didn't make the dictionary!) ran off back to Chouji at the Snack Bar and poofs back to their normal selves.
Chouji's eyes open again like last time "Gimme the spicy Sausage!"
Kabuto gives him the Sausage… and he then throws it on a grill.
"Wait a minute! This is Akamaru's pen-!" Chouji stops speaking and starts getting the crap beaten out of him.
Kabuto starts thinking about all that they had accomplished, "I just couldn't watch Chouji eat Akamaru's pen-"
Kankurou interrupts, "What do we do now? It's only 2:36 AM now… We still have a few more hell filled hours…"
"I just can't believe I got freaked by a dog. Not many people get freaked by a dog Kabuto! ALL OF THIS WAS FOR NOTHING!"
"Calm down Naruto, at least it wasn't for hours…" Kabuto says trying to calm him down.
"STILL KABUTO, THREE MINUTES OF BEASTIALITY PORN DOESN'T REALLY FEEL GOOD!"
Kabuto talks back to Naruto with stress in his voice, "Alright, just shut up! I need to think about what we need to do next because Akamaru will eventually lead everyone to us."
Suddenly the door busts open with everyone coming in, even the pissed Gaara, "KANKUROU, NARUTO, and Kabuto!... NEVERMIND SAY YOUR LAST WORDS!"
Kankurou Stutters,"SPARE ME!"
Naruto Stutters, "MOUNTAIN DEW MAKES YOUR BALLS SHRINK!"
Kabuto Stutters, "My nuts are bigger than three inches in diameter!"
Ino jumps in drunkenly and stutters, "I'm flat-chested in 99 inches in circumference!"
Everyone scratches' their head…
Neji points at the three of them pissed off, "I want you guys to say sorry to all of us! Then Gaara may do whatever scary hell he wants to do…"
Kabuto, Naruto, and Kankurou say they are sorry, and then Gaara pops up grinning like a maniac, "Implosion time!"
Kakashi jumps in and saves them for some unknown reason.
"What is going on here!" Kakashi asks everyone demanding an answer.
Everyone explains what has been going on… especially Kiba and his dog. Then Kakashi asks Naruto and the other two what has been going on. Kakashi tells everyone to go to sleep and makes a restraining order for the three to stay away from Gaara and his sand. Kakashi then falls over drunk because he was drinking Sake.
Naruto asks Gaara from half a mile, "Do you have a Sausage and eggs Sunnyside up, or are they Scrambled!"
Gaara goes crazy, "STOP TRYING TO PISS ME OFF!"
End of this Chap! Might Be a Chap 5, just ask!
R&R!
