Chapter three: ... and family
The scream still filled her mind as she rose from her deep sleep. From her nightmares. Green eyes looked terrified around but calmed down as they looked into a light which shone in the darkness of Hotaru's room. The girl still slept deep and tight.
Damned!
Haruka took a deep breathe and glanced at her watch. Six o'clock in the morning. Time to take a short shower and then to change nappies and to prepare breakfast. That was something that couldn't burn. Even with Haruka as cook. The rolls got warm on the toaster, the coffee fresh from the machine and the mush was prepared by the microwave oven. And the fridge couldn't certainly burn jam, milk and butter.
Shortly she looked at the sleeping Hotaru, then she sneaked over to the bathroom and stripped her pyjama. It was a golden one which was very warm. And soft. Michiru gave it to her some days ago. After a night she froze terribly. First Haruka wondered if the young violinist had known about it but then she decided that it was simply chance.
The young woman yawned oppressed as she stepped into the shower. Cool water run down her body and she closed her eyes to enjoy it. She was used to stand up early in the morning. Normally to do her training. Now she cared for Hotaru so that Michiru could sleep a little bit longer. Often the young violinist had exhausting rehearsals that lasted until late night and she needed her sleep more than her nursemaid. Haruka could sleep at noon when Hotaru was fed and tired, too. When her mother was in the huge opera house and practised with the orchestra.
Okay, there're only ten rolls left and we need new nappies for Himme-chan. And...
Haruka made a note in her mind while she stepped out of the shower and watched herself in the huge mirror. Automatically she reached for her comb and ran it through her wet hairs. Green eyes stared back at her from her reflection and she swallowed hard. She knew those green eyes. She had seen them in her whole life. Every day when she woke up. Every night when she went to bed. Until that they. When they were closed forever.
Oh, mommy...
At that moment the door was pushed open and Michiru appeared in it's frame.
"Ruka? I just..." The young violinist stopped in motion and looked at the taller one's naked body. Haruka blushed deeply and reached for her towel to wrap it around her body. To hide it behind it.
Why is she staring at me?
She's so beautiful!
"Just gimme two seconds, then I'll fed Hotaru. She's still sleeping and so I'd thought I take a shower." Declared Haruka and was angry about herself.
Why am I blushing?
But she knew why. Damned, she knew it too well!
"I only wanted to tell you that my parents called me up two minutes ago. They're going to visit me tomorrow." Answered Michiru breathless and still stared at Haruka. At her wet hairs that hung in her asking green eyes. At the soft skin of her neck. One water drop fell from a blonde strand and ran over those skin. Ran under the wet towel to wet...
"Oh..." Haruka looked now really shocked. She thought of her last try to make a proper meal and groaned silently. "What..."
"Don't worry, Ruka." Michiru grinned and stepped nearer. She couldn't help and raised her right hand to ran it through the short wet hairs. "I'll help you with the dinner."
The young violinist giggled, turned around and was gone before Haruka could react.
"Arigato..." whispered the taller woman and frowned. Confused she stared at the closed door. Confused and ... happy?
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"The last time I saw them was on Christmas." Michiru crossed exited the kitchen for the tenth time this evening. She already wore her long narrow evening dress. The dark blue fitted perfectly to her eyes. Nervously she massaged her wrists and looked again at the food that covered the kitchen's table. They set another huge table in the candlelight room as Michiru called it. It was at the other end of the house and she wasn't suddenly sure any longer while she didn't set the table in the living-room.
No, they're used to luxurious rooms. The living-room is too private!
"And I was lucky that they had a day off. Normally they come when they have time. They missed my last birthday and I am sure they'll miss the next one." She smiled nervously at Haruka who leaned against the cupboard. She wore black trousers and a white shirt with a dark waistcoat. Again she looked more like a man than a woman.
"They are very famous, aren't they?"
"Hai." Michiru sighed deeply and walked over to the living-room. Hotaru laid in her cradle and yawned tired. The young violinist went on her knees and stroke her daughter thoughtfully. Loving. "They chose for that life. They're together. They have each other and I am the perfect daughter. I am almost as known as they are and I am independent." She sighed deeply. "I love them very much and I am sure that they love me, too. Very much. But we live in different worlds. They need the stage and the shimmering world beneath it. I simply need my friends and my..." Michiru took a deep breathe. "... and a family." She looked up and tears burned in her beautiful blue eyes. "I am very glad that I met you. Himme-chan's too important for me. Without you I would have been forced to give up my music. But I am different from my parents. They would have never gave up their music for me..." She smiled a shaky voice and fought hard against her tears. She put on make up and didn't want to ruin it now. Shortly before her parents would arrive.
"Hey, don't worry." Haruka kneeled down next to her and seized her shoulders carefully. "You don't have to give up anything."
Michiru raised her head and nodded. "I know." She whispered and took another deep breathe. She could smell the delicious food. They ordered it from a party service to make sure that it would be perfect.
Strange, I give this dinner for my parents as if they were strangers to me...
"They supported me - whatever I did. They helped me to become a famous violinist and... well, they accepted the last year when I became mother." Michiru leaned forward and kissed her daughter carefully. Then she turned to face Haruka.
"You love her, don't you?" she asked suddenly and felt now those soft hands on her shoulders.
Haruka swallowed hard and felt suddenly very cold.
She uses a nice eau de cologne. It smells so good. No, she smells so good.
The young woman looked over to the cradle and at the small child in it. She could remember washing her for so many times. Changing her nappies. Feeding her. Rocking her gently. Holding her tight. Singing her to sleep. Watching over her dreams. Wishing her all the best for her life.
Slowly Haruka nodded. "Hai..."
Michiru said nothing. She simply smiled.
At that moment someone knocked impatiently at the front door.
"Hell..." Michiru rose immediately and ran towards the entrance hall.
"Michiru?"
"Hai?" shortly she turned around and looked into a grinning tomboy's face.
"Don't give up."
Michiru shook her head and laughed nervously.
"Never!"
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"Daddy! Mommy!"
"Michiru-darling!"
Haruka stood in the shadows as she watched how the old couple stepped in. The man was very tall and still strong, but his hairs were silver now and his face showed a lot of folds. He smiled loving at his daughter. They both had the same deep blue eyes.
His wife was smaller than him. Almost smaller than Michiru. Her sea green hairs were shoulder long. Some silver strands were in it but she still looked young. Once she must have been a beauty.
Like Michiru...
"I am so glad you could come."
"Hai, but we can only stay this evening. Tomorrow's another concert in Hiroshima. And next week we'll have different concerts in China." Declared Michiru's mother while she stripped her warm coat. She wore a long white dress and some necklaces shimmered in the dimmed entrance hall's light.
"Oh..."
Haruka could hear the disappointment in her best friend's voice and clenched her fists.
"But now we're here." Her father's voice was full of love as he embraced his one and only daughter again. "And now let's say hello to our granddaughter."
"Granddaughter!"
"Momoko!" Michiru's father looked warning at his wife but she ignored his looked. Her dark eyes sparkled as she looked critically at her daughter.
"Do you still have the idea to raise this poor child on your own? You don't have the time to be a mother, Michiru! You have a big career with your violin and there's less time between concerts, tests and interviews for a small child of her age."
"I thought we've already discussed this topic, mother. And I thought that I made my point clear!" snapped Michiru back and sighed deeply. This wasn't going how she had planned it. She saw her parents so seldom that she didn't want to argue with them. But her mother ignored her pleading looks perfectly. As she had always done. All those 18 long years.
"Oh, you made your crazy point clear! You take care of a child who isn't your own one. Just because you know that Dr. Tomoe a little and suddenly you want to be desperately a mother for his daughter after his sudden death. Although you are only 18. Just old enough to adopt her! You don't even know how to change nappies! How to take care for her when she's ill! Maybe she's now a calm child but just wait until she gets her first teeth. Then she will cry the whole night and you won't get any sleep. You will ruin your first concerts and after a while your whole career..."
"Mommy, please..." Michiru pleaded and sighed deeply. Shaky.
"And then your other point you made so clear: You will raise this child alone, because your soul mate, as you call this person, isn't here yet. Hell, girl, you're 18 now! I got to know your father when I was 15 and we married when we were 19. How long will you wait? You need someone to take care for you. Not a child you have to take care for instead. And don't tell me again about that one! That's just a ghost, an imagination! If this person would really exist you would invite us. But I never seen you around with someone. Just with those crazy girls... and..."
"They're my friends while you're on tour!" screamed Michiru and clenched her fists. "And don't you ever dare to talk in that way about Himme-chan. I adopted her the last year because I love her. I want to be her mother and understand finally that she's your granddaughter. Her whole life, because I won't leave her." Michiru swallowed hard and some tears ran down her cheeks. "And don't you ever dare to talk about the one anymore. That's my life and it's my love. You can't control me, mother! Not any longer. This is my life. Here, in this house! Together with my friends and my Himme-chan. And if I'll wait for the rest of my life for the one, then it's my business. Mine, mother. Do you hear me? Mine, not yours!"
Michiru sobbed quietly.
It's always been my business. To search for the talismans. To defeat Mistress 9. To take care for Hotaru. It's always been my destiny of being alone. You were on tour, mother. I grew up in several schools like Mugen Gakkuen. I was the only outer senshi until Pluto awoke. I had to find the talisman owned in my heart alone. There was no one by my side. No other senshi. No friend. No soul mate. It's been all my business...
"We only want to see you happy, Michiru-darling. Don't you know?" whispered her father and took her into his strong arms. "And we're only concerned about you, Michiru. We don't want to see you alone."
Haruka sighed deeply and stepped out of the shadow.
"She isn't all alone." She declared and smiled a frozen smile towards the still raging old woman. "And you shouldn't make her cry when you really love her as parents!"
Michiru's mother stared shocked and angry at the intruder. Haruka glanced back with a look that made sure that she didn't want to hear another argument. That she didn't want to see Michiru crying again. Her clenched fists showed the old woman that she would indeed kick them out of this house if they didn't change their hurting behaviour towards their daughter.
Michiru coughed and interrupted the strange silence that evolved between her best friend and her mother. Like a fight only they two fought. Without the other ones being around.
"Mommy, this is Tenô Haruka. She one of my best friends and she helps me with Hotaru while I am on tour." Invited Michiru and made clear that Haruka wasn't a nursemaid anymore. A servant. That she was a very good friend. Whom she could trust.
"Haruka, these are Kaioh Momoko and Kaioh Gendo, my parents."
They shook hands and bowed.
"She's a friend?" Momoko frowned and looked critically at the young woman standing in front of her. "And I thought she's your lover." Suddenly she looked really disappointed. "So she isn't your one . Otherwise you would look a little bit happier" It sounded a little bit depressed. And sad.
Haruka felt how she blushed and wanted to turn away from the old woman. At that moment Hotaru started desperately to scream. The young woman used her chance and went over to the living-room.
Perfect timing. Arigato, princess.
Carefully she took the crying girl in her arms. The tiny fists were clenched and the small face was redden.
"Hush, princess." Whispered Haruka and knew that it was time for another nappy's change. "You'll be dry in about five minutes." She reached for the toy and gave it Hotaru who stopped to scream. But she looked very unsure. And if nothing would happen she would surely cry again.
Haruka went out to the corridor again. Suddenly she felt very ill and her head ache. But she knew that those weren't any signs of a cold or a flew. Her body trembled while she walked towards the family. Mother and daughter were arguing again.
Will I be forced to leave if her one comes one day?
Haruka swallowed hard and the nausea increased inside her belly. Sadly she looked down into tired dark eyes.
I won't be able to leave her. Never.
The young woman squeezed the little girl tighter.
Nor will I ever be able to leave her mother for good..
"I'll change her nappies. Just five minutes. Then I'll help you with the dinner." With those words she walked upstairs. Not looking into Michiru's now wet face again. Seeing the pain in deep blue eyes she liked so much.
"And then we'll eat a delicious apple mash, won't we, Himme-chan?" teased Haruka and danced some minutes later around the table. Hotaru looked up at her and laughed happily. Her little arms reached for her and she babbled something the tall woman couldn't understand.
"And then you'll see your grandparents and have a nice evening. Because you're our small princess. Our little darling..." Haruka made some funny faces and the girl laughed even more. She squeaked as the young woman tickled her while she helped her out of her dirty nappy and cleaned her tiny backside.
"Those women are driving me crazy!" declared suddenly a low voice from the door and Michiru's father entered Hotaru's room. "Hope you two are a little bit nicer to an old man like me." He grinned as he looked down at his granddaughter while Haruka changed with trained hands the nappies and helped her into her pyjama again.
"Don't worry, Tenô-san, they argue a lot but they love each other. Well, at least it's kind of a hate-and-love-love they got. We were too often far away and didn't notice how fast our small child grew up. Suddenly she's a lady. With a daughter and with her head full of ideas. Full of music." He sighed deeply. "And full of nonsense." Carefully he reached his hand and stroke over round cheeks. Black eyes looked big at him.
"Soon they will forgive each other and we'll have a nice evening. As ever."
"Do you want to hold her, Kaioh-san?" asked Haruka and took Hotaru in her hands and carefully in her grandfather's arms. The old man looked frightened at the small girl. Frightened of hurting her. Of letting her fall. Of being a bad granddad. But Haruka knew that he loved the child the way she did.
"Hello, Hotaru-chan. Here's your granddad." He whispered and laughed as Hotaru raised on hand and touched his big nose. "You're cheeky, don't ya know, little darling? Just like your mother." He sighed again. A little bit exhausted. And concerned. "I wish she would find a partner who loves her and Himme-chan. Although Michiru pretends to be strong and independent she needs someone to take care for her. She isn't the person who's able to live all alone. And now she's chasing after a ghost. Since last year, shortly before she adopted Hotaru-chan, she fell in love with a stranger. She said that she once saw this person and that she knows that the one will return one day." The old man shook his head. "She should face reality and stop her silly dream. She has a daughter and responsibility for this tiny life. But it's more responsibility than she is able to carry all alone." At that moment Hotaru started terribly to scream. Her grandfather looked really shocked. And helpless.
"Hush, princess. You shouldn't terrify your granddad in such a way." Haruka took the little girl again in her arms and rocked her gently. Hotaru whimpered and slowly her tears dried. "That's better, princess. Don't you see that crying is too exhausting? Think of your mash and enjoy the presence of your grandparents." Whispered Haruka and kissed Hotaru's cheeks without thinking. The little girl suddenly laughed and leaned her tiny head against her chest. She closed her eyes and yawned. Trusted that warm embrace unconditionally.
Michiru's father watched her in silence. He frowned but a thin smile appeared on his old face as he watched his granddaughter sleep.
"I was very concerned when I came here ten minutes ago." He declared quietly. "I thought that my Michiru is alone and stressed. That she tries desperately to be a perfect musician, a perfect daughter and now a perfect mother all at once. But now I see that she has someone who cares about Hotaru-chan, too. Arigato, Tenô-san. Michiru talked quite often about her friends in her letters or on the phone, but I never thought that they were real. That they were really that nice and friendly."
Haruka blushed as she heard his voice. But her eyes still shone sadly as she looked at the sleeping baby in her strong arms.
A good friend. That's more than I ever expected.
She rocked Hotaru gently and summed a sweet melody. Neither the baby nor her grandfather cared that she summed it the wrong way.
A good friend. One day I'll have to leave them.
Haruka swallowed hard and sighed deeply as she heard the other shouting downstairs that the dinner was ready.
A good friend. That's less than I want to be.
But at the same time she knew that she would never be family.
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The soft melody of a piano flew through the air. They all sat around the black instrument and watched Michiru's father playing. He was the best piano player in whole Japan. Maybe the best in the whole world.
Hotaru slept deep and tight in Haruka's arms. She was full and satisfied. Loved.
Michiru's mother knew the melody her husband was playing and hummed quietly. Michiru smiled as she rose and took her violin in her hands. Then she stepped next to her father. They both exchanged short glances and nodded. Then the young violinist closed her eyes and started to play.
Wonderful...
Haruka swallowed hard. It was the first time that she saw Michiru playing. Normally she had been too busy to practice at home. She had her rehearsals at the opera and Haruka baby sit Hotaru so that she had never had the chance to visit one of her best friend's concerts.
The melody was soft and slow. Romantic but yet bitter sweat.
Like love...
Haruka took a deep breathe and lowered her head to stare at the small baby in her arms. Once there had been a time she listened to such a wonderful play, too. When she was a little child. Young, sweet. Innocent.
Please forgive me, mommy...
But she wasn't there any more. She couldn't ask her for forgiveness. There was only one person left she could ask for peace. But yet she didn't find her. She knew that she lived in Japan, probably in Tokyo.
The melody decreased and ended like a leave taken away by the autumn's wind. Michiru's mother clapped in her hand while her father simply smiled at her.
"With every time I see you you're more beautiful and more talented than ever." He declared and Michiru giggled over his sudden compliment.
"You flatterer." She giggled and stroke over her instrument. Then she laid it carefully aside. They shared a nice dinner and talked a lot about their own tours. The old couple about their tour to Italy, Spain and Mexico. And to China during the next weeks. Michiru told them about the tour she would do in almost two months for some weeks while she watched Haruka who fed her daughter patiently. And suddenly Michiru asked herself if she was really able to leave Hotaru and her best friend for such a long time.
"Are you able to play an instrument, too, Tenô-san?" asked Momoko curious. Of course she asked. She was a musician by heart and for her it was a question like asking after one's name, date of birth and blood group.
"Hai." Haruka nodded slightly and smiled sadly over to the black piano. She felt again the feeling in her hands. As if she wanted to touch the keyboard again. To hear the soft melody. To hear her loving words between every single note... "But I am not as good as Kaioh-san. So..."
"Oh, don't blame yourself, Tenô-san. Just a small piece of Country music. It's really easy, believe me. We're just musicians, please forgive us. If there's anyone out there who is able to play an instrument we have to listen to him." Declared Gendo with a smile on his face as he rose from his chair. Slowly he walked over to her and took his granddaughter in his arms again.
"I didn't know that you play the piano." Said Michiru and frowned as the tall woman sat behind the black instrument. Suddenly she looked very pale. And unsure.
"As long as you don't have to sing." Giggled the young violinist and earned a warning look which made her giggle even more.
Haruka swallowed and looked down at the black and white keys. Her fingers trembled as she touched them. Her green eyes looked concentrated on the sheet and the tiny notes. It was a Country song every child knew in Japan. It was easy and she played it automatically.
Hey, Haru-chan! Come over and listen to my new song!" Suddenly she heard the loving voice again in her head. Without mentioning she changed the Country music until she heard the song again as she had heard it at that evening. For more than just one time. Until the voice was satisfied with it.
Can you see Japan's coast? It's meadows and rice fields? The hot sun burning from a blue sky? The endless ocean and the tiny houses made of paper? Again she nodded as she did that day. She closed her eyes and saw the beautiful woman sitting next to her. Playing with her.
That's my home Country. That's where you was born, Haru-chan. Can you remember our small house there?" Again she nodded. Of course she could remember. Every single day of her wonderful childhood. With her mother who loved her.
Mommy, I love you so much!
Haruka felt how soft hands ran through her short blonde hairs. Comforting. Loving.
I just had to write this song, Haru-chan! Do you like it?"
Haruka nodded and her fingers flew over the keys without mentioning it. The music filled the air. Her world. Her whole life.
Of course I love your music. Your music is so wonderful, mommy!
I wrote it for you, Haru-chan. So there's always a melody for you. Even if I am gone one day."
No!
Haruka opened her eyes but the beautiful woman was gone. Now she sat again alone next to the piano. Alone and left.
I miss you so much, mommy...
Haruka took a deep breathe and ended the melody abruptly. She swallowed hard and felt tears burning in her eyes.
Damned instrument!
She blinked as she heard the applause and remembered suddenly that she wasn't alone.
"That was a real understatement, Tenô-san! You played like I used to do when I was in your age." Declared Gendo, still clapping his big hands.
"It's a long time ago that I heard this song. It's called Japan's wind , isn't it?" Momoko sighed and wiped away some tears from the corner of her eyes with her white handkerchief. "Once there was a young woman who was very popular with it. She was the greatest piano player of her generation. I've never seen one like her again." Michiru's mother sighed again.
"Hai, darling. She was a great woman. She told all musicians that music is more than simply playing notes. She played with all her heart and reached people with her soft melodies. It's a long time ago since I heard this song, too. And the last time I heard it in such a moving way was..." Gendo shook his head. "Maybe that was on her last concert when she played it. Before she married her husband and moved with him to America. I never heard about her again. What was her name, darling?"
"I don't know..." Momoko searched her memory but she couldn't find the name there.
Tenô Kyoko.
Haruka sighed deeply and rose from the chair.
"It's better I'll bring Hotaru to bed." She whispered and took the baby in her arms. Silently she left the room without looking back on the black instrument she used to love so much. She now hated.
Michiru watched her go and frowned.
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She tried to collect the plates and to take the food into the fridge. To tidy up the chaos of the kitchen. But she knew that it was too much now and that she was tired.
"Just leave it where it is. The service firm will tidy it up." Whispered Michiru and yawned. It was five o'clock in the morning and her parents left some minutes ago. "I am rich enough to pay the firm to tidy up our chaos." She giggled quietly and looked deep into dark green eyes. Now they were dry but she had seen the tears after the touching melody ended so suddenly.
"Okay." Sighed Haruka exhausted and stretched her arms to loose her muscles.
"Hotaru's sleeping?"
"Like an angel."
"Good."
Haruka winced as Michiru embraced her suddenly and held her determined tight as she wanted to escape.
"Nani?"
"You simply looked as if you needed a good friend." Whispered Michiru and leaned her head against the warm shoulder. "I need a friend."
The taller woman smiled sadly as she thought of Kaioh Gendo's words.
"Hai." She whispered and embraced the young woman in return. They stood there for about an hour. Without moving. Without speaking. Without thinking.
At dawn they separated and every one went to her own bed. Laying down. Laying ready for sleep. Laying awake for another long hour. Haruka listened to Hotaru's regular breathes while Michiru listened to the calming rushes of the sea.
Guess that's what we all need.
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"Happy birthday, little darling." Haruka looked at the still sleeping girl. It was in the middle of the night. At four o'clock but the young woman couldn't sleep any longer. In the shine of the small lamp she studied the tiny face and swallowed hard. Then she reached for an old teddy bear who seemed to bare a lot of stormy hugs and laid it next to the baby.
"When I was a small child my mother gave it to me. He should watch over me when she's not with me." She whispered and swallowed hard. Her trembling hands stroke carefully over fluffy hairs. Michiru told her yesterday that it was Hotaru's birthday. In the middle of July. On that special date.
"Now he should watch over you and take care for you when I am not around... one day..." Haruka took a deep breathe but couldn't hold back two tears that were running down her pale cheeks. "I want to stay forever, Himme-chan, but I am not sure if I am allowed to. But he will never leave you, princess."
Hai, he had been there when my mother died. He had been that day when I awoke again. Today just one year ago. From a deep dream I didn't want to awake again...
"I love you, small princess." Haruka shook her head.
I've been so stupid. If they wouldn't have find me right in time I would have never got to know her. Nor Michiru...
"I love you so much..."
Slowly she lowered her head and started silently to sob.
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She stood on the huge balcony. Staring motionless into the black waves of the wide sea. Wild wind played with her long night dress and her messed sea green hairs. Tears shimmered in her blue eyes and she simply let them fall.
It's now over one year ago that Sailor Moon rescued Himme-chan. Now Hotaru's one year old.
Michiru swallowed hard and couldn't held back a sob.
It's now over one year that I saw her for the first and the last time.
Uranus.
She went on her knees and covered her burning face with her icy hands.
Where are you, my soul mate? Will I ever see you again?
Michiru thought at her mother's words and sobbed louder.
Am I really crazy? Was she just a ghost? An imagination of my lonely soul? Is she really unreal? And my love? Is it unreal, too? Just an exaggeration after a long, exhausting, dangerous battle?
Michiru didn't know. There was now answer on her silent questions she wanted to cry out. But she knew that no one would have heard her desperate screams. All she knew was that she was lonely. Damned lonely. And that she was fed up with that bloody loneliness.
Uranus...
The young violinist shook her head and her whole body trembled as she cried harder.
Haruka...
But she didn't dare to say it aloud.
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"And you gave her your old teddy? You didn't have to do that." Michiru looked surprised at the toy Hotaru held tight in her tiny arms. As if she would never gave it away again. "Guess you have many memories with it."
"Hai." Haruka watched the fridge and made another note on her list. She wanted to go to the supermarket and Michiru wanted to join her. "But I wanted her to give it."
"It's a very personal present." Whispered the young violinist and stroke a strand of her sea green hairs behind her ears.
"Hai..."
The telephone rang and Michiru picked it up. She wore a light blue summer dress. It was in the middle of July and very hot in Japan. Summer showed it's power and all people had to sweat. Haruka chose herself a short blue jeans and a white t-shirt. Sunglasses were put in her blonde hairs and the longer Michiru looked at the tomboy the more she didn't want to look away afterwards.
"Nani?" The young violinist asked surprised. Then she looked at her watch and nodded. "Okay, I am there. In two minutes." She declared and was suddenly very busy.
"I have to go. Are you able to shop with Hotaru on your own?" she said very excited and was gone when Haruka nodded. The young woman could hear the door slam but there was no sound of the engine.
Does she want to take the bus? Where is she going to!
Haruka sighed and walked over to the little girl.
"Sometimes you're mother is very strange." She said and Hotaru looked as if she agreed her completely.
But I like her very much.
Haruka took the list, the cheque card and the baby and left quietly the light house by the sea. She liked Michiru very much. But she would have never admitted it.
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"And another ten apples." Counted Haruka and looked from the list into her trolley and at Hotaru who sat in it, too. In her child's seat. Laughing happily. "It's amazing how much fruits your mother eats. And fish..." she frowned as she read the list again. "But she actually forgot my pizza!" she giggled and turned around to look at the shelves again. "Where the hell is the milk and..."
Hotaru heard the known voice curse and smiled. She turned her tiny head and observed another small child. It was a boy of her age. Another person stood to the other trolley and smiled loving at the son. The baby stretched his hands and shouted loudly at the person who smiled and took him into strong arms.
"Okay, here comes the milk. And now..." Haruka looked again at the list and groaned. She wasn't born for shopping. Michiru liked it quite more. But Michiru didn't have the time to do it and after all it was her task - as a nursemaid. Although the young violinist declared her more than once that she was a very good friend she never forgot how she got to known Michiru and Hotaru.
"What do you wanna eat, small princess? Again apple mash? Or orange mash? Oh, look, they have mash with nuts and honey and..." Haruka took a package in her hand and showed it to a still laughing Hotaru. "It's all sweet, but you are a sweet baby, aren't you, princess?"
Hotaru laughed louder and stretched her tiny arms towards the tall woman. She said only one word. Her first word.
"Daddy!"
The package fell on the ground and soon white powder covered the supermarket's flagstones. Haruka looked shocked at the grinning girl. At the stretched arms. Heard again and again the high voice in her head.
Daddy!
"But..." her voice was rough and there was a big lump in her throat. "I am not your daddy." She whispered and swallowed hard. Hotaru's face changed from happiness into depression and sadness. And anger. Still she stretched her arms towards the young woman and looked as if she was going to cry within the next minute.
"But I wish I was it..."
Now Hotaru started really to cry. High and loud. Depressed and angry. Desperate.
Haruka blinked and shook slightly her head. Then she took the still crying girl in her trembling arms and hold her tight. Hotaru stopped to cry and reached instead for her hairs. A lucky laughter filled the air but Haruka didn't feel happy.
She called me daddy.
Haruka had been Hotaru's first word. But she knew that it wasn't the truth. That it was just an illusion. A dream that would never come true.
I wish so badly I was it.
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Love town. No place to settle down...
She turned the radio on as she left the huge parking space next to the shopping centre. Hotaru laid in her child's seat on the backseat and played with her teddy. She babbled something only she could understand.
Slowly Haruka drove to the main road and speeded up. She wanted to make salad for dinner and tried to remember the right receipt.
Well, at least I won't burn it and Michiru will be able to eat it without a frozen smile on her face.
Normally Michiru would do the dinner and Haruka tidy up the kitchen afterwards. Normally, if the young violinist wasn't in a hurry.
Strange, sometimes it feels like a real family...
Haruka swallowed hard and controlled her rear view mirror.
Have you got what you want? Have you got what you need?
The low man's voice filled the car and Haruka opened the roof so that she sat in a caprio. She loved it to drive Michiru's Ferrari and automatically she smiled while the wind played with her short blonde hairs.
Do I have what I want? What I need?
Again she looked into the mirror and saw Hotaru playing with her teddy bear. A tender smile appeared on Haruka's face.
I love her so much.
Then she frowned as she saw the black car coming after her. The driver, a young man of maybe eighteen years, switched his lights on and showed her his fist. Then he drove faster and closer up to her until she wasn't able to see his lights anymore.
"Baka!" she growled and rolled her eyes. They crossed another street near a lively pedestrian precinct and the driver after her honked loud and impatiently. Then he tried to overtake her.
"Baka!" Haruka shook her head as she saw the yellow car on the other side of the road. The old woman seemed to be very shocked to see the black racer on her side of the road. The young man didn't think and tried to escape. He came over to Haruka again and the young woman winced as she heard how he hit the silver Ferrari.
Again she heard the yells of her fans in her mind.
She concentrated and grabbed the wheel harder. He tried to pull her towards the pedestrian precinct. Were many people were. Children, mothers and fathers, grandparents. Brothers and sisters. Friends.
No!
Haruka grabbed the steering wheel harder and forced the black car to stay on his road.
There are so many people out there. I can't let them harm again.
The young woman swallowed hard as she saw the wall of the huge department store. The bend was to narrow for their high speed.
I will never ever harm innocent people again.
She braked as she was sure that they left the area of the pedestrian precinct. The wall flew nearer and she heard how the black and the yellow car collided. She heard the laughter of Hotaru on the backseat. Then she heard the scream again in her mind. Her death scream.
"Please..." she whimpered and grabbed the steering wheel and the brake hard. The wheels made a loud noise and she felt how the belt tightened around her body. Then the silver Ferrari stood near the wall. Only one inches away. There was no place for a thicker newspaper left.
Take a good look around in love town!
The radio was driving her crazy. As the noise around on the street. As the scream inside her head.
At the next moment the two other cars crashed into the Silver Ferrari. They all exploded in a huge ball of fire that could still be seen some miles away.
Have you got what you came for? Are you really so sure...
The radio died away. All that remained was silence.
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"I'd call it a wonder."
Michiru took a deep breathe and calmed her excited nerves down as she saw into the doctor's smiling face.
He wouldn't smile if anything would be wrong with them, would he?
"Your sister had a bad scratch on her right shoulder. We had to stitch it with three stitches but she'll be okay. Your daughter is okay. We did some tests but she isn't hurt. She's very lively and cried while your sister was away with a nurse. But she was happy to see her again." The doctor shook his head and sighed deeply. He had a long day after him and still there were another relatives he would see this evening. But they weren't as happy as the young woman sitting in front of him. Their son didn't survive the accident. Although the tomboy who tried to safe him - and the other woman, too – gave her best to pull him out of the burning vehicle. But it had been too late.
Well, at least she could safe herself, her niece and the old woman.
"Your sister must have really good reflexes. Otherwise she wouldn't been able to escape your car. It became a deadly trap after the other two cars crashed into it. But she grabbed her niece and jumped out of the burning vehicle. Very brave! Very good reflexes. Just like a car racer..."
Michiru didn't listen closer. The cop outside told her most of the story, the doctor told her know that everything was okay with Haruka and with Hotaru.
"My sister?" she asked after a while and frowned.
"Hai. Isn't she your sister? Tenô-san yelled at the nurses that she was family when they wanted to take Hotaru away. She's now at your daughter's room. She simply didn't want to go in her own room to lay down. She declared that she's okay and the tests are okay. She's old enough and we can't tell her what to do."
No one can.
Michiru nodded and rose from the chair.
Family...
"You can take your two home if you want, Kaioh-san. It's a wonder. Without your sister your daughter and another woman who was victim of this accident, too, would be dead."
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She sat next to the child's bed. Looking down at the sleeping small girl who hold an old crumbled teddy in her tiny arms. A smile laid on her innocent face.
Strands of blonde hairs fell into green eyes. Deeply she sighed and winced as the door was pushed open.
"Himme-chan!" Michiru stumbled over to the bed and took her sleeping daughter in her arms. Gently she rocked her and oppressed a desperate sob. "My sweet little darling." The girl yawned and settled down into sleep again. She didn't understand what happened. And she didn't want to know it - as long as she was with the persons she trusted. She needed. She loved.
"Gomen, Michiru. I didn't want to hurt her."
Michiru turned around as she heard the shaky voice. She looked into swollen green eyes and suddenly asked herself if Haruka had cry. The taller woman hold her arm and surely it hurt a lot. The young violinist swallowed hard and nodded bravely. She didn't want to break down sobbing. All she wanted was to go home and thank god that they were both alive and healthy.
"Let's go home, Ruka."
Haruka nodded and followed her silently.
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Carefully Michiru sat down on the armchair and started to fed her daughter. Hotaru was very hungry and ate with appetite after those long hours at hospital. It was almost dawn, the night was over. Michiru felt tired. They had a rude battle with another, a new youma. Rei had a bad vision and they all stayed at the temple to discuss if there were new enemies coming over them.
Over that argument I forgot time.
When she came home she found a short note of the hospital on her telephone answering machine.
Never ever I want be so afraid again in my whole life!
She hadn't even been so afraid when she got to know that she owned one of the talismans and that she could die to give it free. She hadn't even been so afraid when Sailor Saturn tried to sacrifice herself for the world and Usagi couldn't transform into Super Sailor Moon because they needed the third talisman to found the Holy Grail. She hadn't even been so afraid when they told her that Dr. Tomoe died and she was the only person left to take care for Hotaru.
"Ruka?" she raised her head and looked at the tall woman who stood unsure in the door frame and watched how she fed her daughter. They didn't speak on their whole way home. Mamoru who came to the hospital after she called him bought them home. Although he had a very important exam the next day. Although it was six o'clock in the morning.
He's a good friend.
She swallowed hard as she looked into a pale face, into empty looking green eyes.
And she's my best one...
"Sit down, Ruka!" she said and Hotaru grabbed for the spoon to get more of her favourite mash. She munched and smiled satisfied. At her slow motions Michiru could see that the bandaged arm hurt a lot even if Haruka didn't want to show her. The tall woman sat down and lowered her head. Silently she stared at her folded hands and sighed deeply.
"Gomen, Michiru..." whispered Haruka after a while and closed her eyes.
She will never forgive me! There're so many people out there I hurt with my silly behaviour and now I hurt her, too...
"I didn't want to waste all the food. I didn't want to ruin your silver Ferrari. It was a fast and very expensive car." She swallowed hard and pressed her eyelids together to hold back her tears. Tears of tiredness. Tears of sadness. Tears of despair.
"Gomen, I promised you never to hurt Himme-chan..." The last sentence sounded more like a sob and Michiru could see how Haruka's shoulders, her whole body shook. The young violinist sighed slightly and cleaned Hotaru's face. The girl yawned happily. Full and satisfied. Then she settled into sleep.
"Don't worry, Ruka. Food is replaceable." She stood up and walked over to the cradle. Carefully she took her sleeping daughter down and covered her with the soft blanket. "I can buy a new Ferrari. I am not so keen on cars but I simply like how it looks. Okay, it is expensive but I earn enough money with my concerts to buy another, hell, to buy another hundred ones!" She walked over to Haruka and sat down next to the tall woman on the couch.
"You didn't hurt Himme-chan. Hell, you saved her! The cops and the docs told me everything. Without you I would have lost her." she swallowed hard and stroke through short hairs. The other woman trembled and sobbed quietly. "I would have lost you, Ruka." Michiru wrapped her arms around the shaking body and pulled her best friend closer.
She yelled she was family...
"I am so happy that you both are okay, Ruka. You're all I've got." She squeezed her tight and buried her head at the strong shoulder.
Haruka looked up and tears sparkled in her dark green eyes. Then she nodded.
You're all I've got, too, Michiru.
But she didn't say it aloud. The young violinist could see it in her look and squeezed her even harder. The sun rose from the ocean and it's morning light slowly filled the living-room. For a while the two woman simply sat there until Michiru yawned and felt how Haruka started to reel. Another short look said Michiru that the taller woman almost felt asleep.
Hai, it had been a very long, very exciting day.
"Ruka?" Michiru crept back and pulled the taller one with her. "Just relax and try to get some sleep." She whispered and covered herself and Haruka with a soft blanket which always laid over the couch's backrest.
"Maybe it's better to go to my own room..." whispered Haruka and her voice was full of sleep while she felt soft arms wrapped around her body and suddenly she stopped to freeze. Since she came to the hospital and waited for Hotaru's test's results she froze like hell. But suddenly it was warm under the soft blanket. Besides a warm body. Suddenly she felt loved.
How I missed this feeling. It's such a long time ago...
Haruka yawned oppressed and made a face as her arm started to hurt again. Slowly she drifted into sleep.
I love you, Himme-chan.
Slightly she smiled as she felt a soft hand stroking carefully her short hairs. As she felt the young woman next to her on the wide couch. Under one warm blanket. A woman who was her best friend. Who was her life. Who forgave her by bringing Hotaru into danger.
I love you, Michi-chan.
"No, it's fine this way. Just stay, Ruka."
Michiru enjoyed the feeling of Haruka next to her. She stroke blonde strands, caressed warm cheeks.
Hope she's not getting ill.
The young violinist leaned herself against her best friend but she knew that she wouldn't find so easily sleep. There was so much she had to think about.
If she's getting ill, I'll take care for her.
Michiru heard the regular breathes of the tall woman, felt how her body slowly relaxed and knew that Haruka was asleep. Then she heard her daughter's high, fast breathes and smiled loving. Hai, here she was at home. Here she wasn't alone any longer. Not with those two people by her side.
Here's my family.
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