Chapter four: Your music in my soul

The baby crawled quickly through the living-room. Over soft carpets and pillows directly into the person's arms she loved almost as much as her mother.

"That's unfair that you're so lively now." Teased Haruka and tickled the small girl tenderly. Little Hotaru laughed happily and her arms grabbed after short blonde hairs. One could see a small white tooth in the baby's mouth. A single tooth and it wasn't completely out of the gum yet. Maybe another two days and Hotaru would be able to show her first tooth. And Haruka would be able to tell an reporter how great it was to lay awake all the night. To listen to Hotaru's painful cries. To know that there was no way to calm the baby down. She tried it with singing, with telling stories. With camomile tea. But the little child spited it out and kept crying. Until she was too tired or the pain decreased a little bit.

"But I am glad to see you laughing again." Whispered Haruka and oppressed a yawn. Hotaru slept the whole day while she tried to tidy up the house. "And I am glad your mommy's not around these nights." Michiru went on tour a week ago. She would be at different big cities in Japan. Alone for the first week, together for the following two with the newest boy group and the first violin in Japan's famous Orchestra for the last week.

"What do you want for dinner? I made mashed potatoes. Do you want to taste it, too? With a lot of ketchup and some stirred eggs?" Haruka giggled as Hotaru pulled at her blonde strands and made a depressive face as she recognized that they weren't as long as her mother's hairs.

"Oh, you wouldn't be pleased to see me with long hairs." Laughed Haruka and fell from her siting position on her back down the soft carpet. She took Hotaru in her hands and hold her above her head. The little girl laughed in pleasure and spreat her arms as if she wanted to fly.

"Mo!" screamed Hotaru and her dark hairs flew in her small face. She started to talk three weeks ago, in the beginning of August. Michiru behaved crazy the whole day after Hotaru spoke her first word: Mommy. She called up all her friends and even reached her father on the handy between two interviews. Setsuna feared that Michiru's face would torn apart by her big grin and the rest of the girls came in the evening to stare at Hotaru as if she was the eight world wonder.

You're the greatest wonder on this earth for your mommy.

Haruka sighed deeply and let the baby down until she laid on her chest. Tenderly she stroke through black hairs which grew longer with every week.

The young woman didn't tell Michiru that mommy hadn't been Hotaru's first word. She didn't want to hurt her. Besides Haruka still didn't know how to react when the little girl showed her all her love.

She doesn't know what her words mean.

But Haruka couldn't get rid of the strange feeling that Hotaru definitively knew at whom she looked with her big dark eyes.

"Bababa!" babbled Hotaru happily and crawled over Haruka to get to the old teddy which still laid on the ground next to the couch. Soon it became her most favourite toy and she cried when it wasn't with her.

Haruka stretched her right arm and touched Hotaru's left leg and hold it tight. She giggled as the little girl tried to escape and threw another toy after her.

"You can be very stubborn, don't ya know, Himme-chan?" The girl kicked softly with her small leg and made a face as if she was very angry. "Keep your will to live, princess." Haruka rolled over to the girl and took her into her strong arms. "Love you."

Hotaru raised her head and her big dark eyes looked up into sad green ones. Then the little girl started to smile. An honest, innocent child's smile.

The ringing of the handy was loud. Haruka winced and gave Hotaru her teddy. Then she stood up and went over to the table. Without taking a look off the small girl.

"At Kaioh" she said and expected a crying Usagi, a serious Setsuna or a laughing Minako. But it was Michiru.

"Hi, Ruka." The voice was very silent. "How is Himme-chan doing?"

The tall woman sat down next to the small child again and swallowed hard.

"Did you cry?" she asked alarmed and now her green eyes were full of concern.

"No..." But her voice betrayed the young violinist.

"She's fine. Last night we got our first tooth and I guess there won't any sea birds here the next year. Himme-chan scared them all to death with her angry screams." Haruka giggled but her smile died away as she heard the quiet sob at the other side on the phone.

"Michiru, what's wrong with you? Come on, you can tell your problems to old Haruka, neh?" Haruka frowned as she heard another silent sob. The last evenings Michiru called her up shortly before her concerts started and she was full of power. Full of luck and joy. Full of her wonderful music. But today she seemed to be frightened. Haruka could feel her loneliness and her sadness.

"Maybe it sounds... sounds silly..." whispered Michiru and Haruka could hear her swallow. "But can you take Himme-chan and come to Nagasaki? There'll be my next concerts with those guys tomorrow and the day after tomorrow and..." Again another sob. "It's my first real tour for over a year now and..." There was another pause but Haruka waited patently, although she would have given all her money to see Michiru and not only to hear her. To take her in her arms and to comfort her until she felt better. "I simply feel so alone and I am so fed up to be alone my whole life..." Another sob and another gulp. "I miss my Himme-chan and..." Another pause. "... and I miss you, too."

Haruka closed her eyes and took a deep breathe.

She can't mean it the way she says it. I am only her nursemaid.

Then she smiled.

Whatever she wants me to do I guess I'd do it. I am almost as crazy about her than I am about Himme-chan. I love you two.

But she would have rather eaten her tongue than saying it aloud. Than loosing the friendship and the small girl's love she already got. Than being forced to leave – forever.

"When does the next plane leave?" asked the tall woman and reached for Hotaru. Tenderly she took the little girl on her lap and stroke over her right arm. Hotaru giggled and played with her teddy. Haruka could hear a relieved sigh at the other side of the handy.

"Arigato, Ruka. You're a real treasure!"

"Don't thank me. I guess, your daughter is missing you, too, Michiru." Haruka giggled softly and held the handy in front of the little girl's face. "Say hello to your mommy." She whispered and smiled loving as the baby looked confused at the black thing in front of her. Then she started to babble and to laugh as she reached for it. Haruka watched her in silence.

I missed you, too, Michi-chan.

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"Do you want a pillow?"

Haruka opened her eyes and looked at the friendly smiling stewardess.

"No." She smiled back and shook her head.

"She's cute." The slim woman watched Hotaru for some seconds. The little girl slept at the window seat in her child's seat. She had wrapped her tiny arms around an old teddy bear and babbled something in her dreams only she could understand.

"Hai." Haruka leaned over to the small child and corrected the small blanket with which she covered Hotaru. She shouldn't freeze during the fly to Nagasaki.

"You must be very proud. If you need anything, just call." With those words she walked quickly away. There was a lot to do before the start. A lot of passengers needed to be shown their places or simply to be calmed down.

"Hai..." Haruka took a deep breathe and leaned back. Tired she closed her eyes again and waited. It wasn't her first fly and so she wasn't very excited. To be honest she was very tired and yawned quite often.

Himme-chan cried the whole night.

Haruka felt like a truck ran over her when she had to get up early in the morning to the first plane which would take her to Nagasaki.

To my Michi-chan...

"That's unfair! Why the hell shall I sit in the second class and you in the first one?"

Haruka frowned as she heard the angry voice behind her. Couldn't the rest of the passengers be quiet? She wanted to sleep.

What shall Michiru think when she sees me so tired and exhausted? Hotaru isn't a devil.

Haruka couldn't help but smiled as she touched gently the tiny arms. The baby munched but kept sleeping.

Well, at least not such a great devil. Only a small one. A lovely one.

"Because the first class was sold out and we let the lot decide. And you lost, my dear brother." The other voice was lower and full of mockery.

"But still it's not fair! You cheated!"

"You have no evidence!"

"I don't need one. I can see it right in your face, you cheater!"

"Pah, take off those sun glasses. You can't see anything with those."

The voices came nearer. Haruka took a deep breathe and pressed her eyelids together.

"Guys, be nice!" There was a third voice. It was lower than the other two and more determined. "Yaten, you sit down and Sejya, you come with me."

There was a moment of silence and Haruka smiled automatically. She could almost see the tongues the two boys showed each other. Then the other two hurried away to the first class and her voices slowly vanished.

"Hate you!" growled the first voice again and Haruka felt how someone sat down at the third seat on the array which was beside her.

"Please take your seat and make your you wear your seat belt..." started a nice woman's voice to sing and Haruka was sure that one stewardess would start her typical security ballet within the next seconds. She yawned oppressed, then she opened her eyes and looked into a very pale face. It was surrounded by long silver hairs. Two light green eyes looked curious at Hotaru and a little bit frightened at her.

"Hi, I am Yaten." Said the young man and swallowed hard as the stewardess showed a lifeboat they should use if the plane was going to crash into the sea. Nervously he clenched his fists and opened them again.

"Nervous?" Haruka raised one eyebrow and smiled as he looked at her with a small boy's look. Then he leaned his head against the seat and tried not to look at the still dancing stewardess.

"Maybe." He shrugged his shoulders and took a magazine. Shortly he read it, then he groaned. "The movie they're going to show is called Fear over the clouds . Great!"

At that point Haruka had to giggle and Hotaru awoke and giggled, too.

"Hi, Yaten. I am Haruka." She introduced herself and felt how the plane moved. Then it stopped and she felt the power of the huge engines. How it grew stronger and stronger and the whole plane started to shiver. Then the brakes were free and the huge power escaped in a great speed. "And this is Hotaru." She saw how the young man took his sunglasses he was still holding in his hands again and hide behind them his big eyes. "We're going to Nagasaki to visit her mommy. And what are you going to do? To make holidays?" Haruka didn't know why she told him all this but she felt how he relaxed. How he forgot that the plane left the ground at just this moment and dove into the blue, endless sky. Still it was very hot outside and Haruka wore short blue jeans and a wide dark shirt. She had chosen for the little girl a white dress. So she wondered why the young man wore a suit.

Doesn't he sweat?

"Kind of." Declared Yaten and looked around nervously.

"The other two are your brother?" Haruka wasn't really interested. But she didn't like him seeing so afraid.
Maybe I simply don't want to see him throwing his breakfast into my lap.

"Brothers? Bakas!" Yaten sighed and grabbed his armrests as the plane flew some metres downwards until the second period started. "Sometimes I ask myself how I ever could start this silly thing: Flying around, making concerts..." he sighed again and shook his head. "Well, I know why I do it but sometimes..." Another sigh.

"Hey, relax yourself. This plane won't crash in the sea and soon you'll be on god's nice earth again." Haruka couldn't oppress a yawn and looked out of the window. "Although our right wing's standing in fire."

"Nani?" Yaten unbelted his seatbelt and pushed Haruka aside. Then he leaned over Hotaru and watched out of the window.

"He, Yaten! What do you think you are? Do you want to kill me?" Haruka's dark green eyes shone angry as he laid half over her just to see enough to be sure that it was only a joke. That there was no smoke outside. Nor fire. Nor death.

"That's what you deserve!" he growled and climbed back in his eat. At that moment the plane arrived it's final fly height and at that moment Hotaru decided that she was hungry and started do scream.

Haruka burst out into laughter and blushed as some passengers looked angry at them.

"What's so funny?" demanded Yaten to know and took his sunglasses off.

"You should see your face!" The tall woman giggled and reached over to her best friend's daughter.

"Hungry, sweet princess?" Haruka still giggled while she helped the small girl out of her seat and onto her lap. Then she searched in her rucksack which was laying on the ground next to her feet for Hotaru's mash. She used a special dish and so it was still warm As she had prepared it when she got up a little bit earlier than she had to get to the airport in time.

That's a sacrifice you have to do when you have a child: To stand up earlier in the morning.

Haruka smiled loving at baby Hotaru who grabbed the spoon and swirled it around through the air. She almost beat Yaten who winced away. But now a thin smile laid on his very pale face, too.

I'd do anything for her. Even to sacrifice myself...

Haruka swallowed hard while Hotaru ate her first spoon with great appetite.

"She's cute. How old is she? What's her name?" After Yaten relaxed and recognized that there was no sign of crashing into the sea he asked excited and waited for the stewardess to bring him a cooled cola.

"Hotaru. She's now one year and over a month old. And she's very hungry!" Haruka smiled loving into greedy dark eyes and stroke over red cheeks.

"It's not her first fly, is it?"

"Probably." Haruka never asked Michiru if she ever took her daughter on such a long, wide tour.

I will stay with them for the rest of the three weeks.

Suddenly the tall young woman felt slight panic growing inside her stomach.

The whole world will see me with Hotaru, daughter of the famous Kaioh Michiru!

Haruka swallowed hard and her fingers suddenly trembled while she fed the little girl who munched happily.

The whole world will see that I am nothing more than a simple nursemaid.

Thoughtful she squeezed Hotaru harder and the baby protested in spitting on her jeans. Automatically she reached for a handkerchief and cleaned it.

Then I'll have to admit it to myself that I won't ever be more for them that a bloody nursemaid. No family member. No daddy.

Haruka sighed oppressed.

No lover.

She knew that Michiru loved another one. That she waited for her soul mate and that she would wait her whole life. There was no chance for her. Even if Michiru would accept her as a woman, she would still think of the one.

I have no chance against a ghost!

"You must be very proud of her." Yaten looked closer and blinked as the girl split him, too. Right into the face.

"Oh yeah, we are." Haruka grinned as she saw Yaten's shocked expression. "She learns very quickly, don't ya think?"

"Hai..." The young man rolled his eyes while he cleaned his sunglasses. But Hotaru's charm was too big and so soon he leaned forward again and watched her eat.

"Small child's are somehow beautiful. They don't hurt one. They simply love one without consequences." He whispered and suddenly he looked very sad.

"You have children? You look a little bit young."

"Oh, no, I have time." Yaten shook his head. "I am just seventeen and I am still looking for the true love. I know that sounds crazy..."

Haruka slightly shook her head and cleaned Hotaru's face. Then she let her make her burp and helped her into her child's seat again. The small girl yawned and soon settled into sleep.

No, it doesn't sound crazy. True love is fantastic.

Haruka's eyes got darker.

And sometimes very sad.

"I had a sister and she got a baby boy. My nephew was really, really cute." He sighed deeply and Haruka felt that it was more clever not to ask for more. "He had so tiny fingers, just like your daughter." Yaten turned around and grinned at the stewardess and took two cooled cola. One he handled Haruka who started to cough as she heard his words.

Your daughter .

I wish, she was it.

"Her mother must be beautiful." Yaten drank the half of his cola and looked again around for dinner. Haruka sighed but had to smile.

"Hai." She responded while she leaned back and closed her eyes. The image of a young woman formed in her mind. Of a young woman with long sea green hairs which moved in the wild wind. Waves of the wide sea played with her legs and she only wear a short summer's dress. Deep blue eyes sparkled and a happy smiled laid on a shinning face.

Blue eyes Haruka always believed to drown in.

"Hai, she is."

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"I got a phone call. We should take her best friend and her daughter with us to the hotel." Sejya looked over the rim of his sunglasses out to the wide hall. His long black hairs swirled through the air as he tried to escape he tickling hands of his younger brother.

"Yaten! You had your revenge. It's enough now!" he burst out into laughter and tried to escape. Soon both of them run though the hall and the oldest of them, Tahiki, just rolled his eyes.

"It's high time that we got to know her child. She's always talking about her and since last February she talks a lot about her new best friend."

"Guess, it's more than simple friendship!" shouted Sejya and appeared shortly behind his older brother. Then he screamed and ran away again from his younger one.

"I wish it for her. She always looks so lonely. As if she had nothing else than her music. Everyone needs a person in one's life." Tahiki sighed and looked at his handy again to read the mail he got after the phone call.

Tenô Haruka. Tall woman with short blonde hairs and a baby.

Tahiki sighed again.

Great, Kaioh-san! That's a really good description.

He looked up and saw hundreds of young women with short blonde hairs and some of them even carried a baby.

"And how shall we find her?" Yaten appeared at his side and forgot to tickle his brother while he looked over Tahiki's shoulder to read the text, too.

"Haruka?" he whispered and his eyes widened.

"Don't you tell me you know her!" Sejya's voice was teasing but he placed himself at his older brother's opposite side so that Yaten couldn't reach him with his fast hands.

"Her? I thought she's the daddy of that cute girl!" Yaten frowned and stepped on his tip toes to overlook all those busy people, passing by in a hurry. But still he was almost one head smaller than Tahiki.

"Daddy? Are you blind, Yaten, that you can't distinguish between a girl and a boy? Because there's a small difference. Maybe you don't know it, but I can explain it, if you want..." A devil grin appeared on Sejya's face as Yaten growled and tried to tickle him again. But this time the dark haired singer was faster.

"Yaten?" The voice made them all freeze. Three big pairs of eyes look startled at the blonde carrying a child's seat with a still sleeping girl. "You forgot your sunglasses." Haruka smiled and stretched her free hand.

Three pairs of eyes watched silently short blonde hairs, dark green eyes, a wide shirt that didn't let them see any female outlines and the short cut jeans covered with spots, probably child's mash.

"Yaten, I apologise. You aren't blind." Answered Sejya and earned one of Tahiki's warning looks he knew too well. But he ignored them – as always.

"Nani?" Haruka frowned as Yaten took his sunglasses – and her rucksack as well. Tahiki stepped closer and laughed as Hotaru grabbed his nose and babbled excited.

"Kaioh-san called us up that we should take you to the hospital, too, Tenô-san." Explained the oldest brother with a voice that sounded as if he had a bad cold – and a constipated nose.

"Nani?" Haruka looked more and more confused and stepped slightly backwards so that she could escape quickly with Hotaru if the three were attacking her.

"Don't worry, Haruka." Yaten spread his arms and pointed at his two brothers and himself. "May I invite? We are Tahiki, Sejya and Yaten. We're the Three Lights . And we're on tour with Kaioh-san."

Sejya stepped besides his brother and bowed over a still laughing Hotaru.

"And you two must be the little angel who's our music genius is talking about the whole day." The lead singer looked up at Haruka and frowned. "And you must be the... " Suddenly he grinned wolfish. "... the beauty she's thinking about the whole night."

Nani...?

Haruka only blushed deeply.

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"Honey!" Michiru took her daughter in her arms and swirled around with her. Hotaru laughed happily and grabbed for long sea green hairs.

She looks tired.

Haruka looked straight into deep blue eyes. The young violinist's face was pale but now her cheeks were slightly redden. A happy smile laid on her face and covered the dark edges under those marvellous eyes.

She did cry...

"I am so glad to see you again, my sweet, little princess!" Michiru danced through the huge hotel suite. It was separated in two huge rooms and a bath which was even light and marbled - just like the one Michiru had at home, just three times bigger. Haruka swallowed hard as she looked at the huge bed. White blankets behind white, almost transparent curtains. A glass door leaded outside to a big balcony.

"I missed you so much!" suddenly Michiru's voice was very silent, almost shaky. She stopped dancing and squeezed her daughter tight. The sun broke through the clouds which covered the sky over Nagasaki. But still it was a hot day of late summer. Dust danced in the golden shine which dove over the white blanket. It formed a sea of flames, waving softly. One ray was reflected in Michiru's deep blue eyes. Calm wind played with her open hairs and suddenly Haruka believed to hear the rushes of the wide sea - although the hotel was in the inner city and there was no chance of even seeing the ocean from the balcony. The tall woman swallowed hard two happy looks met her thoughtful one. Suddenly the seemed to dance in slow motion. Being fully in their own world - leaving her behind.

Now they'll getting wings...

Haruka blinked as she saw another person in front of her. She wore a long white dress and golden hairs almost touched the ground. Michiru and Hotaru didn't seem to notice her. They kept on dancing. Laughing. Living... The appearance smiled loving and two wings spreat behind her back. High they pointed up to the ceiling. To the endless sky above. Strong. Protecting.

An angel?

Haruka frowned still hearing Hotaru's excited shouting babbles after her mother.

No, they're my real angels.

The strange woman opened her arms and it seemed as if she wanted to take the dancing woman and the flying girl in her embrace. To protect them. To love them. To take them away from her.

No!

But Haruka wasn't able to move.

Don't take them away! I need them!

The appearance nodded understanding and wind filled the room at the next moment. Haruka felt it. It drove to her clothes, made her shiver. It grabbed at her short blonde hairs and let her eyes water. It burn on her skin and she wanted to scream out loud. The storm howled with her. It got stronger and stronger. More violent. Crashing down at her without any consideration.

Like it did that very day...

The shinning woman smiled and floated over to her. Her hands were small and soft as she touched her burning cheeks. Suddenly they were wet.

Am I crying?

Soft hands ran through her short hairs and suddenly she saw tears sparkling in light blue eyes she didn't know. But somehow she believed to remember them. Once they had cried, too. Desperate. Angry. For nothing.

Why?

Don't worry. You won't loose them. 'Cause they're your destiny. Haruka heard the high, tender voice in her head and the appearance cried even more. Her whole body shook and her wings hang.

You'll ever be a part of us... The woman sobbed quietly, then she turned and was gone. She took the storm with her.

"Arigato, Ruka!" The tall woman winced badly as she suddenly felt Hotaru in her arms, felt Michiru embracing her carefully but determined. "No I feel better." Declared the young violinist and giggled as Haruka groaned.

"You're squeezing your daughter - and me - to death!" But a smile laid on her redden face. There was no trace of tears and suddenly Haruka wondered if it all had been simply a day dream. An illusion of her simply tired mind.

It wouldn't be a wonder after Hotaru's crazy nights...

But somehow she couldn't get rid of the feeling that it had been real.

"Gomen." Michiru's voice wasn't very regretful. "Then I'll have to make up for you. And for Himme-chan." The young violinist giggled. Then she grabbed Haruka's sleeve and pulled her with her towards the door. Haruka sighed and followed her without defence. Because she didn't want to hurt Hotaru in her arms. Because she was too relieved to see her Michiru laughing again. She had been very concerned after she'd heard the younger woman's shaky voice on the phone.

Because I like it to be touched by her. Even if it's unintentional, only for a few seconds...

Michiru opened the door and crashed into Yaten. The young man stumbled back and bowed automatically and searched for his sunglasses he lost.

"Hi, Yaten." The smaller woman laughed. "Did you survive the fly?"

"Hai." The youngest singer of the Three Lights reached for his sunglasses and took them into his pocket. Then he grinned wildly. "Although she snores."

Michiru frowned but laughed again as she saw Haruka's angry look.

"And you almost threw up your breakfast, because you've been so scared of the start!"

"Hotaru-chan split me!"

"You complaint the whole time about the movie!"

"How could you hear? You slept!"

"I tried it. Until you wanted to look out of the window!"

"This is a free land!"

"But the place you tried to sit on was mine!"

"Why didn't you just change? Mine was free at that moment."

"Because it had been my seat. It was so comfortable and I simply tried to sleep!"

"Pah, sleeping! Hotaru-chan was bored, too."

"She has her teddy. She wasn't bored. You could have read a book!"

"A book? Are you..."

"At least you could behaved reading and leaving me in peace."

"Hey! Who was the one who..."

Michiru giggled and stepped between the two. Hotaru pulled at Haruka's short blonde hairs with her right hand and at Yaten's long silver ones with her left one.

"Guys! Stop it!" Michiru crossed her arms before her chest and looked warning into two redden faces. "You're behaving like babies."

"We aren't!" answered two insulted voices and Michiru giggled even more.

"Let's go." She grabbed Haruka's sleeve again and Yaten winced as Hotaru didn't let go of his hairs.

"Ouch!" Finally he was able to free himself but it cost him some strands. Suddenly he stood up straight and looked after the two heading towards the elevator. "And our rehearsals?"

"There'll be some shortly before the concert. You are good, aren't you?"

Yaten nodded.

"We are the best!" he shouted, but the three were already gone. The young frowned. But then his face brightened up as he remembered his oldest brother's words.

Everyone needs a person in one's life.

Guess Tahiki is right.

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"Close your eyes!"

Haruka did as she was told and felt how Michiru grabbed her arm and guided her over a stony way. They left the hotel and walked for about twenty minutes when they reached Nagasaki's central park. The tall woman could hear the birds singing above in a cloudy sky. But there where enough wholes in the grey blanket so that Haruka could feel some rays of lights while she followed her Michiru, still holding a babbling Hotaru tight. The rushes of the leaves around her remembered her of the wide ocean. Wind played with her blonde hairs and she automatically smiled.

"Attention, here're three steps." Michiru's voice was really excited and Haruka was glad that she came with Hotaru. The young violinist looked now happy and satisfied. So different than she had sounded on the telephone.

Maybe I would be the same sad when I was far away - without them.

Haruka sighed slightly. The rushes increased and she asked herself if it was really only the noise of leaves being moved by wind. Then she felt some drops on the skin of her arms and frowned.

"You can open your eyes."

She did and blinked. There was a grinning Michiru standing in the middle of a huge fountain. Her shoes laid aside the stone on the earth and she had her skirt in her hands so that it wouldn't get wet. The water wasn't very deep, maybe one feet deep. But it was as clear as a crystal. By an old mechanic it was thrown high in the air and Michiru raised her head and laughed happily as some drops wetted her long hairs. Like diamonds they sparkled in her sea green curls.

"Isn't this a nice place? I discovered it the last night when I couldn't sleep after the concert." Michiru seemed to float through the water as she came nearer.

Haruka only nodded and blinked again. The fountain was on a glade surrounded by big, strong and certainly very old trees. Their crowns formed a roof over it and some light broke through the wand of green. Some bees flew around in the small rays of lights. They moved with the leaves touched by gentle wind. They danced over the shaky surface, over a happy smiling face. Over sparkling sea green hairs.

She looks like a elf.

Haruka smiled thoughtfully and Hotaru stretched her arms towards her mother.

I love her so much!

The tall woman stepped towards the fountain and Michiru took her babbling daughter into her arms. She lowered her head and said something to the small child. Hotaru laughed delighted and one tiny hand grabbed for sea green strands, hold them determined tight. A loving smile appeared on the young violinist's face while she rocked her daughter gently.

I wish she would watch me with such a look.

Haruka swallowed and automatically stepped back. The water shimmered golden in the setting sun's light. Michiru said something else and kissed Hotaru on her cheeks. The baby used the chance to grab her nose and laughed even louder.

I wish she would kiss me, too.

But Haruka knew that she would never. The young violinist called her up to bring her her daughter. She told her that she missed her, too.

All she missed was a good friend. Nothing more! See it, Haruka, you'll never be more to her than a bloody nursemaid for Himme-chan!

Haruka blinked again and knew that she could tell herself everything, but that she wasn't able to lie to her heart.

Michiru raised her head and frowned as she saw the other one's suddenly pale face.

"Is everything okay?" she asked concerned and stepped out of the water.

The mermaid left her territory.

Haruka frowned but she didn't know where that thought came from.

"Hai. Just a little tired from the fly." Slightly she sighed. "But it's a nice place you discovered, Michiru."

"Hai..." Michiru smiled and slipped into her shoes. Then she came over to the tall woman and gave her Hotaru back without actually letting the small baby go. So both of them hold her and Hotaru smiled happily. She used her best chance and grabbed sea green and blonde strands. The women didn't even mention. They looked each other deep into the eyes.

I wanna drown in them.

Haruka smiled, then she lowered her head and looked at Hotaru.

I wish you was the one.

Michiru sighed and let go of her daughter so that Hotaru laid now safe in secure in strong arms. In a loving embrace.

"I just wanted to share it with you." The young violinist raised her hand and ran it tenderly through short hairs. "When I found it yesterday I was determined to show it to you."

"Arigato..."

Haruka nodded smiling. But there was something in her dark green eyes Michiru couldn't define. But it made her sad. Very sad.

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She felt uncomfortable in the first array. It wasn't the white tuxedo she was wearing. The clothe was fine. It was not Hotaru sitting on her lap. The little girl was playing with her teddy bear and didn't look as if she wanted to start crying the next minutes. It were the curious looks of different people around her. Important, rich people who could afford to buy the expensive tickets to sit in the first array. Mostly it was reserved for the mayor, some people who gave big donations to the foundation for ill children and some popular persons.

But not for a normal nursemaid!

Haruka sighed deeply and closed her eyes. Once she had been very popular, too. As she won the World Championship three times after another she had been the most famous person the whole Formula One world. No she was no one at all. Just a shadow searching for someone she didn't even now.

Without Michiru would be homeless. A beggar.

Haruka hold Hotaru tighter.

Without them I would be all alone. Unloved. Unwanted. Unneeded.

"Who's that?"

"I don't know."

"But the small child is Kaioh-san's daughter."

"Maybe she has a lover?"

"Why not, she's eighteen and old enough."

"But I thought she would follow her parent's footsteps and take some popular musician. So that they both could go on tour together."

"There're many popular musicians and a lot of them tried to get her, but she didn't want anyone of them at all."

"Then that guy must be something special."

Haruka leaned deeper into her chair and tried to ignore the voices around her. Since that very day she didn't want to be in public anymore.

My father mustn't find me here!

She sighed again. Everything was better than being back in her second homeland. Where they terrorised her. Where they wanted to heal her. Where no one really understood her.

"Ladies and gentlemen..."

Haruka opened her eyes and saw an excited man standing on the stage of the huge concert hall. He held a micro in his hands and spoke to the audience that the concert would start within the next minutes.

"Hope you enjoy your mommy's concert, Himme-chan." Whispered Haruka as the red curtain was moved aside. Behind there was a huge stage. There were a few instruments: A black piano and two guitars where in the background. But the rest of the stage was empty. There were no drum computers, no big screens, no bonfires..

She doesn't need it.

The audience rose from their chairs and applauded loudly as Michiru stepped on the stage. She wore a long, narrow evening dress. It was a deep blue as her eyes. She was barefoot and wore her violin tight in her left hand. For some seconds she stood there and smiled in the audience. Waited patiently until they calmed down and sit down again. There were no micros anywhere but everyone could hear her clear voice as she talked to all those people outside.

"I am glad that you could come." Her look flew through the first array and rested at Haruka and Hotaru. Her smile grew wider. Then she put on her violin, closed her eyes and lost herself in her music.

Then she started to play.

Her music filled soon the whole hall. Filled the people's hearts with joy and luck. With despair and sadness. With hope and love.

It's amazing how she's able to express all those feeling by simply playing her instrument.

Haruka frowned as she watched her Michiru standing on that huge stage. Being all alone but also being with all those people outside. Being with her music. It was greater than her solitude. Than her endless search. Than her long waiting for the one who would never appear at all.

The melody became softer and suddenly tears shimmered behind her lashes. Haruka blinked.

Is she starting to cry?

Then the music increased and reached her heart, too. She closed her eyes and listened to it while Hotaru leaned herself against her chest and grabbed for some buttons of her white tuxedo's jacket.

As Haruka opened her eyes again she suddenly stood again at the fountain. Michiru danced laughing through the water and splashed her. Her blue eyes sparkled and there was a light that covered her. A deep blue light as if she stood in the middle of a huge ocean.

Again Haruka stood aside and felt very sad, very alone. The melody got sadder and sadder. But the smiling Michiru came over to her. Now she floated as if she swam though deep water.

This is my world, Ruka. she could hear her voice somewhere in her head. I wanna share it with you. Soft hands reached for her icy ones and she simply let the young violinist do. The melody got hopeful again. Now it was full of love and tenderness. Like the look of beautiful blue eyes. Haruka smiled back and felt how water crashed in waves over her. Suddenly she was able to float, too. In that wonderful world of music. She felt Michiru's hand, felt waves playing with her body. She could breathe but her look became blur. Rays of lights shone though the surface above and reflected crystal water that surrounded them in a loving embrace.

Don't worry, Ruka. You're safe here. The sea is nothing without the wind.

The song ended and bought her rudely back into reality. She opened her eyes and met the look of watery blue ones. Michiru smiled sadly and Haruka blushed as she recognized that the young violinist only saw her. Not the audience, not the rich, important people. Again they whispered excited and Haruka crept deeper into her chair and hoped that the concert was soon over. That she could escape those silly people. That she could think over her own confused thoughts. That she could talk to Michiru.

Was this song only for me?

Michiru sighed deeply as the last note escaped her violin and slowly left her own world made by music. A tender smile laid on her face and her eyes burned.

It's the first time that I wasn't there all alone.

She opened her eyes and looked into surprised dark green ones.

I wish you was the one, Ruka.

But she wasn't and Michiru knew it too well.

At that moment the light changed and three young men appeared on the stage. With three roses in their hands. They stepped beside Michiru and waved at the now yelling audience. There were many teenagers out there who jumped on their seats and screamed at them. The men smiled and said nice words to their fans. Then they threw their roses and went to their instruments. Michiru walked away a bit and put her violin again on her shoulder. She knew Sejya. And she knew that he danced over the whole stage. He didn't want to hurt her but it happened more than once that they both crashed into each other. Michiru closed often her eyes while making music and Sejya danced wildly around while singing without taking care of anyone else. Tahiki knew it and took attention about his younger brother. Yaten only declared with a cheeky grin on his face that he had his piano to hide behind when his brother became worse.

Shortly they looked at each other and everyone nodded so that they were ready. The fans still yelled but they simply started their show. Coloured lights danced over the stage and Sejya jumped around.

He looks funny.

Michiru oppressed a giggle while her bow automatically touched her violin.

But he has a very good voice - like his brothers. And some of his songs are really touching.

She oppressed another giggle as she recognized that he started with a funny song about Friday 13th. Then she closed her eyes and concentrated again on her music.

It was a great concert with the Three Lights. They sung love songs, funny songs. Songs about the normal life and songs about the life being on tour through the whole Country, through the whole world. One song was very sad. It told the story of a man who searched everywhere for his woman but couldn't find her. Sejya stand in front of the stage in a small ray of light and sung it with all his passion. Yaten accompanied him with his piano and Tahiki sung the second vocal. Michiru who didn't accompany them with her violin, stood silent behind the stage and sighed deeply. The song was so sad that she felt the tears burning in her eyes.

"I am searching for you. All of my life. Where are you, my princess? Where can I find you? Where is the life I wish to share - with you? I..." Sejya's voice was very low and rough and Michiru felt that he was in sadness, too. As if he wrote those lines for a special person he was looking for. He lost a long time ago.

"I am searching for you..."

Hai, I am searching, too.

Michiru swallowed hard and leaned herself against the cold wall. She raised her free hand and wiped away the tears ignoring the confused looks of the manager of the whole show.

Where are you, Uranus?

But there was no answer. No sign. For over four years now. And Michiru knew that there would never be a sign. Sailor Uranus wasn't awake in this world and maybe the new Silver Millennium would only have three outer senshi.

Maybe the Queen doesn't need a senshi of the wind. But I need a soul mate. Someone I can share my life with. And Hotaru needs a daddy...

Michiru sobbed quietly and shook her head.

I can't wait my whole life for Uranus. I have a right to live, too. I have my own feelings and my own heart. Why should I live all alone? That isn't fair! Just because she isn't awake!

The song ended and Sejya talked to the excited yelling fans. Someone ran downstairs and Yaten's red face appeared in front of her.

"We wanna play "When I awoke in the morning" and we need..." he paused and looked shocked into her pale face. "Everything okay, Michiru?"

The young violinist nodded, wiped away some more tears and followed him up to the stage.

"Your song was simply so touching, Yaten." She whispered and cheered up. "Let's tell them what real music means!" She giggled but Yaten still frowned.

Then they were again on the stage and another funny song started. Sejya sung what all happened in the morning and Michiru accompanied him after he slipped on his wet flagstones, burned his toast and left the house in a hurry. Her fast melody over Yaten's and Tahiki's slow one should show that it rained the whole time while Sejya walked along the grey street and some more mistakes happened to him.

He sung it and made funny faces so that the audience laughed, too. The lead singer sung over a beautiful woman next to him in the subway and he wrapped his right arm around Michiru's waist and smiled shinning at her while he sung how he tried to talk to her and she simply went away. The young violinist smiled back, then she stepped back and he had to give her free. He waved sadly at her, but she winked and walked over to Yaten's black piano. The fans yelled even more as Sejya sighed deeply and missed the station he wanted to get out of the subway.

Michiru smiled over to Yaten who shook his head over some signs of the fans showing: Three Lights, we love you. Or: Sejya, I am still free. Or: Sejya, I am your princess!

I wish they were!

Michiru turned around and stepped over to Tahiki who played his guitar like a god. She glanced over to the audience and saw how Haruka stared at the stage. How she stared at Sejya. And her look wasn't very happy. Hotaru in her arms fell asleep and her teddy laid on the ground. But Haruka didn't mention it and the girl misused her right hand as her personal teddy bear.

Is she jealous?

Michiru frowned but then the song was over and everything ended in a sing song of the fans. They wanted to hear a special song and Sejya and Tahiki sung it for and with them.

Why should she be jealous?

But the young violinist knew the answer without asking the question aloud.

So the show went on and after another hour it was over. Michiru was allowed to give another of her songs only with her violin to end the concert and she already decided what she wanted to play. She looked over to Yaten and nodded as he raised his eyebrow. The young man took a sheet of paper on the empty space of the piano and stood up. He gave his brothers and the bodyguards a sign, then he jumped from the stage. An excited sigh went through the arrays as he went straight to someone in the first array. Even the fans stopped to yell and looked very curious about what would happen next.

"Michiru wants to play the next song with you." Yaten stopped in front of Haruka and determined light green eyes looked into startled dark green ones. "It would be an honour for her. And after all, I wanna hear you, too." The young man blinked at her and grinned.

"But..." Haruka swallowed hard and panic grew inside her body. She didn't want to get so many attention. But at the same time she knew that there was no way to escape.

"Don't worry about Hotaru-chan. I'll keep an eye on her." He bowed and took the still sleeping baby in his arms and the teddy bear under his shoulders. "And now go!"

Haruka nodded and came hard to her feet. Again there was excited whisper but she didn't hear it. She went over to the stage, raised her head- and looked directly into shinning deep blue eyes. Eyes she loved so much. Eyes she knew she could trust. She didn't see the flashes crossing the air as she walked over the huge stage. She didn't see the cameras pointing at her. She didn't see the fans jumping and yelling again. All she saw was a young woman with sea green hairs and a blue evening dress. Soft hands hold a violin tight. A bright smile laid on her beautiful face.

"That wasn't fair." Whispered Haruka as she stood in front of her. Again more flashes. Michiru's smile grew wider.

"I know." Was all she said. Then she took her violin again on her shoulder and watched how Haruka sat down behind the piano. Shortly she looked at the sheet and put it away.

"Do you remember the song I played when your parents visited you?" she asked and her fingers carefully touched the keyboard.

"Hai."

Haruka swallowed hard. Then she closed her eyes and started to play. The music simply escaped her fingers. Her mind. Her memories. Her soul.

She saw again the wide ocean before her eyes. The green meadows. The leaves moved by gentle wind. There was again the house her mother lived in. Together with her. Before she got to know her future husband - Haruka's future father. While she was a famous piano player.

This is your homeland, Haru-chan.

Again she heard the soft voice an her head. A voice she didn't hear for so many years. Haruka swallowed and entered the house. But there was no mother. There weren't even any furniture left. All she find was solitude and loneliness. Her mother had left her a long time ago and she would never ever see her again.

This is where you belong.

Suddenly she heard another voice, a higher but as same tender as her mother's voice behind her. The melody got loving and a violin accompanied her piano play. Haruka turned around and saw a young woman standing at the door frame. Her long sea green hairs moved in the slight wind and she remembered her of a wild mermaid who rose from the sea just some seconds ago. To come to her. To hold her tight. To show her that there was still someone out there who wanted her. Who needed her.

Without mentioning it the melody got more hopefully. The sad, the dark theme was gone and all that remained were deep feelings. Suddenly Haruka felt two arms wrapped around her waist but she didn't wince away. She knew that those arms would never hurt her. That those hands stroking through her short hairs would never beat her. That this small body being pressed against her back would never let her freeze.

Please, don't ever leave me alone again!

Haruka sighed oppressed as the song slowly ended. Finally her fingers rested on the keyboard while Michiru's bow danced for a last tone over the strings. The song died away and the fans started to applaud and to yell. The people rose from their chairs and more flashes crossed the air.

But neither Haruka nor Michiru mentioned them as they both opened their eyes and looked at each other. Michiru smiled and Haruka couldn't help but blushed slightly. Then she returned the smile and stood up. Still there was a sweet melody filling their minds. In their world of music only they knew. Only they could hear. Like a whisper three words flew over the melody.

I love you.

dbdbdb

"Hope Himme-chan's fine." Michiru stared at her drink and the dark fluid crashed against the rim of her glass. They were in another great hall now and the mayor said some words. After the beneficial concert they all went into the hall to have a late dinner. To talk to another and to say something about the children's fond. The Three Lights were surrounded by several fans and had to give autographs. Sejya grinned at every fan and seemed to enjoy it. Tahiki talked a lot. Only Yaten looked nervously around. It seemed as if he preferred to be alone or at least to be with some people he knew better than a superficial fan. But there was no chance to escape and he knew it.

"She's sleeping, believe me. She was clean and full when we brought her to bed. And it's late in the evening. Normally she sleeps at this time like an angel." Haruka ate another sandwich although she wasn't really hungry. But it simply tasted so good and she told herself to use the chance. The next time she would ate lunch or dinner it would be her own meal again and she simply couldn't cook as good as the cooks around here.

"Shall I look after her?"

"No, arigato, Ruka. You're right, Hotaru doesn't even know that we're not around. And a service maid will see after her each hour." Michiru watched Haruka eating and took the rest of the sandwich out of her hand before it reached the taller woman's mouth.

"Hey!" Haruka exclaimed but had to grin as Michiru ate it and showed her her tongue. Then they walked over to the big buffet again. "There's plenty of food here, why do you have to steal mine?"

"'Cause it tastes better. " Michiru giggled as her best friend frowned. The young violinist rolled her eyes as the mayor told them again how important his city was for Japan. Then her face cheered up. "Arigato, Ruka, for coming with me to this so called event. Normally I try to escape but while I am on tour it's hard to go with the excuse that there's a small child waiting at home. Here there's mostly only a empty, cold hotel room." Michiru sighed while she took an apple in her hands and cleaned him thoughtfully. "These events are always so boring. You have to talk to people you don't know and you don't like. People who came to my concerts just to see other people and being seen. To show their new dresses and their new hairstyle. They don't really listen to my music and some of them even fell asleep while I played!" Michiru sighed again but then she had to smile. "But not all people are so ignorant. There're many people who really understand it. As they understand the Three Light's songs. It's nice to play with them. They're good people." Slowly they walked through the room towards the door. Still all reporters hang around the famous boy group but Michiru knew that it was only a matter of time till she would be the mass media's victim again.

I hate their cameras!

"Let's get out of here." She said, drank her drink and put the glass on the window frame. Then she grabbed Haruka's free hand and the tall blonde almost lost her cheese sandwich as the young violinist pulled her away with her. Fast they hurried downstairs until the stood again at the entrance of the park they had been just a few hours ago. Before the concert started. The windows of the huge hall were all open at a warm summer's night and so they could hear how a small orchestra started to play sweet classic music.

"Are we on a flight?" frowned Haruka and coughed as she almost suffocated on her sandwich.

"You're greedy!" giggled Michiru and saw the taller woman's angry face. She had to giggle even more.

"I am not greedy. I've been simply hungry!" protested Haruka and coughed again.

"I see. You're so fed up with your own meals so that you eat until you explode. As long as it tastes better than your salad or your noodles."

"Well..." Haruka blushed. "Hotaru didn't starve during the past six months!" defended Haruka herself while they walked slowly along a stony way. Some street lamps showed them the way through an avenue. The leaves of the trees rushed calming and both of them relaxed.

Hai, Hotaru grew and got stronger during the past months. She's a happy baby and she loves it to be with me – and Ruka...

"Gomen to push you around so badly..."

"Oh, don't worry. I am used to it."

"Baka!"

"Please, stop killing me with your look!"

Michiru giggled as they teased around themselves.

"... but I simply don't like reporters asking stupid questions." The young violinist squeezed Haruka's hand gently. "I prefer being with the persons I know and like. And not with rich ladies who are talking about their small doggy while I try to help ill children."

Haruka nodded and Michiru asked herself if the taller woman blushed. But she couldn't see it because the light was too low.

"The last concert a really fat man in the first array fell asleep and I was very, very angry. Afterwards I found out that he donated a lot of money to the foundation and I decided to keep silent. But no one has to listen to my music if he or she doesn't want to." Suddenly Michiru started to giggle and couldn't stop. "He looked like a pancake. I asked myself why he didn't destroy the chair he was sitting in and all he was interested afterwards was the buffet." Now tears shimmered in her deep blue eyes while she giggled more and more. "Guess I had too much alcohol. But the lemonade mixed with whiskey was simply too good." She took a deep breathe to calm down her excited nerves but still she had to giggle.

"Oh, don't worry. I'll guide you back to your hotel room. But don't expect me to have sympathy for you tomorrow when you'll have a big hangover!" Haruka swallowed hard and looked at the laughing beauty next to her. Still holding her hand tight. The small touch gave her thrills over her skin and she wished that this walk would never end.

She's so wonderful.

Wind played with long see green hairs and deep blue eyes sparkled happily.

I love her so much!

Haruka sighed oppressed. She knew that she had no chance. That she was only the young violinist's nursemaid. That she was a woman. And even if Michiru loved women...

I am not the one!

"I know. Once you only wanted to take care for Hotaru and now you have two babies to take care for." Giggled Michiru and waved her free hand to the sky. She smiled as she saw some planets shinning next to the full moon.

Jupiter, Saturn. Venus.

"Now you have two babies..."

Uranus!

You don't know how much I'd like to take care for you, too.

"Oh, you know me, my services for Himme-chan includes that her mother should be happy." Answered Haruka but her voice was strangely quiet.

Be happy.

Michiru stroke a sea green strand behind her ear.

Am I really happy?

She looked over to Haruka who smiled unsure at her. Slowly they entered the glade they had visited this afternoon. Just some hours ago.

Am I really happy?

"Dance with me!" said Michiru suddenly and took Haruka's free hand in her left one and hold it tight. She pulled her over near the fountain. The water was still falling down on a shivering surface. Bright moonlight shone through the leave's roof and some glow worms danced around in the darkness.

"Nani?" Haruka looked surprised and shook her head. But Michiru already started to move in the rhythm of the music that still filled the air. Now quiet, almost not hearable. But they weren't so far away from the concert hall and all the windows were open. The music was carried away by the slight wind and surrounded them.

The tall woman looked for some seconds searching into deep blue eyes. But all she found was friendship and trust. So she relaxed and automatically took the leading position.

Am I really happy?

Michiru raised her head and saw a blushed, smiling face. Unsure shimmering dark green eyes. She closed her eyes and leaned her head against the strong shoulder. She felt how Haruka wrapped her left arm around her waist and pulled her softly nearer. Her right hand still held her one while they rocked slowly, very slowly over the stony ground. The young violinist smiled as she felt the warm body next to her own one. She heard the rushes of the leaves and the water falling from the fountain. Some birds screamed in the darkness.

I wish this dream would never end.

Michiru sighed slightly.

Am I happy?

She let go of Haruka's hand and embraced her tightly. Then she opened her eyes and looked up into a blushed face. There was something in Haruka's look she couldn't define until now. She had seen it for some times. When she laid in bed and had high fever. There had been that look, too, under a deep cover of concern. When she rocked her daughter and Haruka watched them in silence.

When we had been here just some hours ago and she stood aside and observed me dancing with my Himme-chan in the water.

Michiru squeezed Haruka harder and none of them dared to speak.

Am I happy? With her?

The young violinist stepped on her tip toes and their noses almost touched. She could feel Haruka's warm breathe in her face, could smell the perfume the taller woman used. Michiru smiled a shy smile. She already knew the answer of the questions haunting her down every night she laid awoke in her big, empty, cold bed.

Both of them closed their eyes as their lips met.

Michiru felt how Haruka tightened her embracement, pressed her harder against her warm body. Soft hands ran tenderly through her long hairs and soon the sweet kiss became more passionate.

I love her so much!

Haruka didn't think much about what happened. She hold the one and only she loved in her arms. She kissed her with all her deep feelings and knew that she would never be able to let her go again.

I wanna be part of your family, Michi-chan. I wanna be a daddy for your Himme-chan. And I wanna be your lover. Your partner. You soul mate. Your one...

Slowly the kiss ended and they looked each other deep into the eyes. Haruka breathed hard and Michiru could feel her excited heart beat.

She's as scared as me. But at the same time as curious.

"Remember, I am a girl." Whispered the tall woman and her voice sounded strange in her own ears: So low. So shaky. So full of love.

Michiru smiled and it was the most beautiful smile Haruka had ever seen.

"I know..." answered the young violinist and her voice wasn't any better than the other young woman's one. Then she raised her arms and wrapped them around Haruka's neck. Again their lips met in a passionate kiss. Two pairs of eyes were closed as they enjoyed each other's presence.

It feels so good.

It feels so strangely familiar.

This kiss lasted longer than the last one. It lasted almost the whole night.

dbdbdb

Very carefully the door was opened. Two heads appeared in the frame and looked over to the small child's bed standing next to a huge window. The full moon shone through the glass down on a small girl's face. Sleeping the innocent sleep of a baby. Dreaming about her teddy or her mother. Or her favourite mash.

"She looks like an angel." Whispered Haruka and felt how Michiru embraced her from behind and looked over her shoulder.

"Hai." The young violinist giggled and nodded. "Even the greatest devils look like innocent angels when they sleep."

Haruka grinned. Then she closed the door carefully again. She didn't want to wake Hotaru up. The little girl got her first tooth and the tall woman was glad when she didn't have so many pain that she could sleep. It wasn't only unhealthy for the parents to get not enough sleep, but also it could be dangerous for a small girl. And Haruka loved Hotaru with all her heart. She didn't want to harm her with her silly behaviour.

I hurt too many people in my life with my ignorant behaviour...

The sad thought disappeared as she turned around and was softly pushed against the door. Michiru kissed her again and giggled a lot. She stroke through her blonde hairs and Haruka enjoyed that feeling. Her hands reached for Michiru's back and crept under the velvet night dress. Tenderly she stroke over the soft skin and felt how Michiru shivered.

Soon the kiss became more passionate and slowly Michiru unbuttoned Haruka's white jacket. It landed somewhere on the carpet and soon her shirt followed.

"See, you're still wearing your sport's bras." Giggled the young violinist and Haruka winced as she felt those soft hands caressing over her intensive skin. She blushed deeply as the bra landed on the other clothes.

"Michi-chan..."

Michiru grinned wolfish as she interrupted the stammer with a short but determined kiss.

"Don't talk." Whispered the young violinist and slowly kissed each inch of Haruka's neck. The young woman groaned oppressed and shivered even more. She leaned her head against the door and closed her eyes.

"Are you really sure?" asked Haruka and searched for the zipper of the long blue evening dress.

Damn, it feels so good!

Michiru nodded against her neck.

"Hai." It was not more than a mumble, but Haruka understood her. "I am, Ruka..." The young violinist bit in Haruka's ear and giggled as the other woman tried to escape. But at the same time Michiru knew that she would never.

"Ouch, my little vampire..." The low voice was teasing and finally the zipper was open and the dress laid on the ground, too. Now Michiru only wear her underwear. She leaned closer to Haruka and they both gasped for breathe as they felt the naked skin of the other one of their own one.

It feels so right!

It feels so familiar!

Haruka pulled her Michiru closer and buried her burning face in sea green curls. Soft hands ran through her short blonde ones and she felt how the young violinist kissed her neck, her chest, her breasts. She couldn't oppress a groan and suddenly she heard the rushes of the wide sea. A sea so deep as blue eyes she wanted to drown in. So she did.

"I love you..."

She wasn't even aware that she said it aloud. It was a silent whisper which sounded tenderly, full of all her deep feelings. Which showed her Michiru her soul. Which opened her heart and made her vulnerable for all what would follow. No one but the young violinist got ever so close to her mind, to her thoughts. To her real I.

I love you.

Suddenly Michiru froze in her arms. She raised her head and looked deeply into dark green eyes which stared dreamy back at her.

I love you.

She heard the tender words again and again in her mind, felt the soft hands caressing her back. Again she shivered. But now not because of her lust - but of the cold which suddenly seemed to fill the room.

"I..." Michiru shook her head and was suddenly very pale. Her blue eyes stared shocked up at Haruka's face and she took a deep breathe. "I love... love... but..." she stammered and started even more to shiver.

Haruka swallowed hard as she saw the terrified expression on the smaller one's face. It looked as if the young violinist just awoke from a nice dream and saw that reality wasn't nearly as nice.

I told her that I love her.

Haruka swallowed again and felt how Michiru stepped back – away from her. Probably forever.

But she doesn't want me.

The recognization hurt more than every beat she experienced during the past years. Than every scream, than every shout that was determined for her.

Maybe she didn't even think of me while kissing me...

Haruka took a deep, shaky breathe and suddenly her eyes burned. Her soul hurt and she wanted to run away. As fast as she used to do. But she knew that she couldn't escape her problems this way any longer. For only some hours she had have everything she ever wanted: A family, security, love. Within a few second she lost it all again.

I was nothing than a substitute for her.

"I see. I am not the one." Whispered Haruka and reached for her clothes and held them before her shaking body. "Gomen nasai. It will never happen again."

Maybe I'll have to go now. To leave her – and to leave Himme-chan as well.

Haruka oppressed a sob. Hai, she needed love. Her body had loved the soft touches she missed for so many years now. Since her mother died no one had ever took her into her arms and simply held her tight. But more than this love she needed Hotaru. And now she would probably be forced to go.

Where to?

She didn't find an answer as she looked into still shocked deep blue eyes. Michiru automatically raised her arms and crossed them before her chest. She shivered like a leave falling in the autumn's rain.

Why can't she be the one?

Michiru watched how Haruka opened the door quietly again and walked slowly over to Hotaru. Tears Michiru had never seen before, sparkled in dark green eyes but she knew that the tall woman would never let them allow to fall. Not in her presence. She hurt her too much. She didn't want to give her the final victory, the final humiliation.

I didn't want to hurt her!

Michiru still felt the warm body beside her, the soft hands caressing her back. The tender lips kissing her own ones. The young violinist wanted to go after her but she wasn't simply able to move anymore. Motionless she stood there until the door was quietly closed.

Ruka, I don't wanna hurt you!

She sobbed and slowly went into her knees. She covered her burning face with her icy hands and felt hot tears running over her frozen fingers.

And I don't wanna hurt me, too, any longer!

dbdbdb

It was already dawn but she couldn't sleep. She knew that there would be a lot of interviews and another concert in the evening but she didn't find any sleep the whole night. She laid on her huge, empty bed and froze like hell. It was alike how many blankets she used, her body still shivered and her feet and hands were icy.

A baby's scream interrupted the peaceful new morning. It stopped quickly and Michiru heard a low voice talking softly to her daughter. She sat upright in her bed. But still she was unable to open the door again, to step in and to talk to Haruka.

Will I ever be able to look in her eyes again?

Michiru laid back on her pillow and turned around to look outside the window to watch the rising sun.

Uranus, where are you?

But she knew that it wasn't the strong senshi any longer who was in her heart. Who got all her love. Who was there every second of her life – to protect her, to care for her, to love her the way she was.

"Hush, princess." Haruka rocked the baby gently in her arms and swallowed hard as Hotaru grabbed for her hairs ad laughed happily. The young woman raised her head and looked at the closed door.

Will she send me away?

Automatically she squeezed the little girl in her arms tighter and oppressed a yawn. After long hours she finally feel asleep but all she found there were terrible nightmares haunting her down.

Haruka looked again into hungry dark eyes and knew that Hotaru needed to get fresh nappies, to get her mash and to get out to the cool air.

She loves it to look at the birds flying through the wide sky.

The tall woman shook her head in sadness as she rose and walked over to the bathroom.

And I love her so very much!

But at the same time she knew that she was only Hotaru's nursemaid. Being doomed to leave the little girl before she grew up. Before she got married and had her own children.

Before she's able to understand what daddy really means...

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She opened her eyes as the song finished. Her deep blue eyes searched in the audience but she couldn't find the two figures sitting there. As they had yesterday.

Of course she's not here. After all what happened yesterday.

Michiru couldn't imagine that it was only some hours ago that she hurt Haruka more than the she would ever be able to forgive.

The young violinist swallowed hard as she bowed before the audience and the Three Lights appeared next to her to thank their fans again for seeing one of their concerts – together with the famous violinist Kaioh Michiru.

Michiru didn't listen to Sejya's teasing voice. Nor did she understand his words. There was no audience sitting in front of her. All she saw was a very pale Haruka who came unsure over to her room at noon and said that she wanted to go to the city with Himme-chan and if she needed anything. They didn't talk about what happened the last night. But at the end of the dry conversation when Haruka went over to Hotaru's room she turned around and asked quietly, almost scared if she would be forced to leave. Michiru had looked into dark green eyes and all she could see was fear. Real fear. Silently she had answered that Haruka was still her nursemaid. That she could stay – if she still wanted to. And that they both should better forget what had happened.

But at the same time they both knew that this was impossible.

She loves me!

Michiru swallowed hard as she bowed again to the audience. She felt how Sejya grabbed her right arm holding the bow and teased her around. The people laughed but she didn't hear them.

I love you.

Those three words filled her whole world. Words she waited for over four years now. But the wrong person told them to her. Another one than Uranus. Her soul mate. The one who didn't awake. Who wasn't with her.

But Ruka is with me. She really cares for me!

Michiru oppressed a sob and slowly the curtain fell down.

And I care a lot for her...

Suddenly tears ran over her pale cheeks and she went on her knees. The expensive violin hit the ground at the same time the curtain did. She pressed her hands before her burning face and started desperately to cry.

"Michiru?" Yaten was by her side the next moment. He kneeled down next to her and took her into his arms. Asking he looked up at his brothers who were as shocked as he. The whole concert had been strange. Hai, Michiru had again played like a goddess. But her motions had been mechanically. She played the notes in her head without any emotions. Without any feelings. And more than once she looked down at an empty seat in the first array. Some of the fans yelled for the unknown piano player as Michiru played her last song. She didn't answer her audience. She only stood there and played. As she accompanied the Three Lights. Just one song she seemed to awake a little bit out of her trance. It was the sad song Sejya normally sung in a little ray of light, only accompanied by the piano. She simply stepped behind Yaten and played. With all her heart. With all her soul. Her play was so touching that Sejya almost thought that she knew why they did the whole Three Light thing. That she was, too, searching for the most important person in her life. For her personal princess. For her soul mate...

After the song ended there were several silent sobs heard in the audience and the Three Lights had been relieved that the next song was a funny one. Otherwise they wouldn't have been able to finish the concert.

"Michiru?" Again there was only sobbing which answered him. Yaten sighed deeply and watched how Sejya took the expensive violin.

"I'll give some interviews to the reporters so that you have enough time to escape in peace." Said Tahiki and bowed over to the desperate crying violinist. "Don't worry, Michiru, everything will be fine." Then he was gone and they could hear some fans shouting and flashes crossed the air outside.

"He's right." Answered Sejya who seldom agreed with his older brother. Yaten only squeezed the shaking body in his arms tighter.

"Let's bring you home, Michiru." He remembered too well how lucky the young violinist had been just 24 hours ago. When she finished another concert – together with a young woman who seemed to be in all her thoughts. In her dreams. In her hopes for the future.

"There's no home." Sobbed Michiru but rose as he helped her up.

"Your home is wherever your family is." Answered Sejya with a serious expression on his face and looked over to his brother who frowned concerned.

"I don't have any family!"

"But you have Haruka and your daughter." Said Yaten silently as they walked over to the exit. Michiru shook her head and choked.

"Himme-chan isn't really my daughter. I adopted her. And Ruka... she'll leave me after what I've done ..." Michiru stumbled and almost fell down the staircase. But Yaten and Sejya hold her back.

"Hotaru-chan will always be your daughter. Love's stronger than blood." Declared Yaten determined and dialled a number on his telephone to get a taxi to the hotel.

"And Haruka will never leave you. She's crazy about you, don't ya know, Michiru?" Sejya teased her and sighed as her water fall of tears even increased.

Hope you were right.

But she's not my destiny. She's no senshi.

Michiru sobbed harder and she couldn't see anything through her tears.

She's not Uranus.

Nevertheless I love her...

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"It got later than I planned." Haruka sneaked into the child's room. Hotaru looked at her with her big dark eyes. A cap with big mouse ear's covered her tiny head and she hold in her right hand the string of a balloon. It floated over their heads.

"But you are full, happy and you finally could see Mickey Mouse." The young woman laughed. But it was a quiet, sad noise. She walked the whole evening through the park and there was a big festival for the inner city of Nagasaki. There were many people having a party. And many children waiting for Mickey Mouse to come and give them balloons and sweets. Haruka sat down and drank a cola. She wasn't hungry the whole day and felt really ill. But Hotaru in her arms laughed as the big mouse came over to her and teased her a little bit. That cheered her up. And as she saw the cap she simply couldn't let it there.

She looks so cute!

Haruka went over to the bathroom and let the door open. Surely Michiru was still on her party at the huge hall and talking to people she didn't want to talk at all.

Hope the Three Lights are there to share her destiny.

With now skilled hands she helped Hotaru out of her clothes, washed her in the tube in warm water and told her a fairy tale. It was Beauty and the Beast she watched when she moved with her mother to her new father's homeland.

"Once upon a time, in a far away land, a young prince lived in a shinning castle..." she started and Hotaru laughed happily. Then she raised her tiny hands and tried to splash the young woman. Haruka took the towel and carefully dried the little girl.

"You don't have a chance, my sweet Himme-chan. Where did I stop. Oh... the prince was spoiled and unkind. But then, one winter's night..." She talked the whole time while she helped Hotaru in fresh nappies and in her blue pyjama. Tenderly she stroke over round cheeks and the little girl yawned openly. Haruka took her into her arms and walked over to the child's bed and laid her down.

"... or he would be doomed to remain a beast for all times..."

Haruka sighed deeply.

And I am doomed to remain a nursemaid for the rest of my life. Nothing more...

She gave Hotaru her teddy and kept talking while she stripped her blue jeans and her dark shirt. She threw them in the corner and searched for her own pyjama. Naked she walked through the room and found it somewhere behind the bed she should use but didn't want to.

I had been very angry this morning.

She sighed deeply, then she chanced her voice while she talked as Bell to her father and as the crazy inventor to his daughter. Finally she dressed her freezing body in the dark clothes and sat down on the blankets next to the child's bed.

"Hope you can forgive me, that I don't sing, now. But Disney does it better and I don't wanna ruin your childhood. So we simply forget the song and come to Bell's father choosing a short cut and misses the right way. His horse is, as all intelligent animals are, very scared and wants to return. But he forces it to go straight. Until he comes to a castle. Wolves are haunting him and he reaches the tall building at the last moment. The door opened as if it's moved by the hand's of a ghost and it closes at the last moment when he..."

Hotaru laughed happily and stretched her tiny arms towards the young woman. Haruka leaned over the bed and her head rested on her arms she had laid on the rim. Loving she looked down at the baby.

"Daddy!"

The happy scream interrupted the story suddenly.

"Haruka." Whispered the tall woman and suddenly tears sparkled in her dark green eyes.

"Daddy!"

"Haruka."

"Daddy!"

"Haruka..."

"Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!" Hotaru laughed happily and still stretched her arms towards her.

"I am not your daddy, Himme-chan..." it was nothing more but a whisper as Haruka reached for the baby and took her into her strong arms. "But, believe me, princess, I wish I was it." The young woman lowered her head and started silently to sob. Her whole body trembled and tears ran down her cheeks. Hotaru stopped laughing and touched with a very serious expression on her tiny face the wet cheeks. "I don't wanna leave you, princess. Not you nor your mother." She squeezed the girl in her arms and smiled a shaky smile as she bowed forward and kissed her carefully. "I love you two. But I am only the nursemaid. We aren't in a cheap novel, princess. Here nursemaids don't get the millionaires. Even if they really love them." She swallowed hard and more tears ran down her cheeks. She didn't cry for a very long time. The last time was at the night after mother's funeral.

Suddenly the old panic was inside her body. That she wasn't needed in this world. That she wasn't loved. That it would be better for her being dead. Then the scream would silenced in her head. The fears would stop and the pain would finally leave her body, her mind, her nightmares.

No, I'll never do such a silly thing again.

She swore it the day she left the institution for good. When she left her homeland and returned to the one her mother grew up. Where she had spent her childhood. Where her roots were and the person she wanted to apologise to.

Guess I'll never find her.

But she found other persons. Persons who gave her life a new direction. A new meaning. A new goal.

The baby in her arms still looked confused. Then Hotaru yawned and closed her dark eyes. Soon she relaxed in the warm, strong embracement and fell in a sleep full of wonderful child's dreams.

Haruka simply sat there and sobbed quietly. Her look was blurred as she watched through her tears down to the sleeping girl. After some other minutes she calmed herself down a little bit. She took Hotaru into her bed and covered her careful with the soft blanket. Then she wiped away her tears and took a deep breathe.

Still I am here.

She bowed over the girl and gave her a tender kiss on the forehead.

"Night, princess. Have sweet dreams and don't worry, I'll always be with you. Even when you won't see me around when you'll grow up..." Haruka swallowed again and turned quickly away. She didn't want to look at the girl. Nor did she want to look at the closed door. A door which had been opened for her for a few hours. And then closed again forever.

Love town, no place to settle down Again she heard the song in her mind as she curled herself down in a ball on the blanket. She closed her eyes but couldn't find any sleep. Nor did she stop freezing.

Hell, I am so cold!

Suddenly she asked herself if she would ever be warm again. If she would ever be able again to eat a proper meal. If she would ever be able to sleep again.

What have I done?

Michiru still sat on the couch near the bathroom's door. After the concert Sejya and Yaten brought her back to the hotel room. She sat down and waited for Haruka. She wanted to talk to her. To make sure that her behaviour yesterday hadn't been just an accident. She hadn't been that drunk at all. And she hadn't been so desperate and alone that she would misuse anyone. That she simply let her heart speak until she heard those words. That she simply had been scared after those words and her mind had been stronger than her heart.

That I love her, too.

But when the door had been finally opened she couldn't move. She simply sat there and watched Haruka washing small Hotaru. Telling her a fairy tale and laying her into the bed. She observed how the tall woman changed her clothes and she saw how her body trembled. Helpless she had to see how Hotaru called the young woman daddy and how Haruka – the rock in the surf – started desperately to cry.

I hurt her so much. Will she forgive me?

Michiru swallowed and left her place in the shadows. All lights were switched off but one lamp still burning in the darkness. Showing Hotaru that she wasn't alone when she would awake in the middle of the night.

I simply can't live this life anymore. Not this crazy way. I am the senshi of the wide ocean and I am prepared to sacrifice my life for my Queen. But I am not prepared to sacrifice my soul for a ghost.

Slowly Michiru laid down next to the still quietly sobbing person and wrapped her arms around the trembling body. Haruka winced wildly and tried to jump up. But Michiru hold her tight with all her desperate powers and leaned her head against the strong shoulder.

"Gomen, Ruka..." she whispered and took a deep breathe. "I didn't want to hurt you and I didn't want to push you away so rudely." Michiru hold her tighter and heard another oppressed sob. Suddenly her own eyes were watery, too. "I was so blind waiting for the one that I didn't realize that I don't need her, but that I need you. I do not only want to share my bed or this night with you. I wanna share my whole life with you... If you still want me after all what happened..." Again she started desperately to cry. As she did just a few hours ago after the curtain fell down. "I love you, too..."

Haruka heard the shaky voice and turned slowly around. She saw tears burning in deep blue eyes, running over a beautiful face.

"And the one?" she asked quietly and took that face in her shaking hands.

"She's only an illusion. She had never been and she'll never be more than a dream. Than a fiction of my fantasy. She never existed and she isn't the one I love. I don't wanna be alone for the rest of my life. She will never come and the longer I think about it I know that I never loved that ghost. I simply was abandoned and sometimes stressed with a crying Himme-chan, with concerts and with..." she sobbed again and gasped hard for breathe. "I simply wished myself a person being there to care for me – but there was no one so I thought about the one and with every damned day she got more and more real until I believed in her as a living human."

There had been a Uranus in the Silver Millennium. But who knows if she was only a mistake in that time? That she wasn't supposed to be reborn?

Hard she squeezed the warm body in front of her.

But Ruka is real. She loves me and I can't imagine my life without her any longer.

Haruka looked straight into her deep blue eyes and wiped tenderly away the tears. Running down pale cheeks. Meeting no resistance.

"Are you sure?" she asked very quietly and sighed deeply.

"Hai." Michiru nodded her head still in those tenderly hands. "As long as you still want us."

Us. Her and Himme-chan.

"Of course I want you." She whispered and leaned forwards. Tenderly she kissed those soft lips and pulled the smaller woman closer to her body. Suddenly she didn't freeze anymore. "I want you and your daughter."

Michiru smiled through her tears and it looked as if the sun was rising after a long, cold rain.

She really forgave me.

"Our daughter." Although her voice was still shaky she had to laugh as Haruka sat upright and took her into a stormy embracement. She took her on her lap and kissed her passionately. Now the green eyes weren't sad any longer. Now there were full of joy. And hope.

"Hai, our daughter." Whispered Haruka and kissed her again and again.

Am I happy?

Michiru remembered the question that haunted her down every day for the last four years. Maybe for her whole life. She raised her hands and ran them through short blonde hairs. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the sweet kisses. The soft hands caressing her naked arms. Still she wore her evening dress but none of them seemed to notice it.

Am I happy?

Haruka leaned against the child's bed but Hotaru didn't awake. She only munched in her dreams and kept sleeping. They both giggled quietly like two children and kissed again while they simply hold each other tight. Knowing that they would never let the other one go.

"Love you." Whispered Haruka between two kisses and smiled against warm lips as she felt how Michiru shivered under her soft touches.

"Love you, too." Answered Michiru and closed her eyes again.

Hai, I am happy. With her. With Himme-chan. With my family.

I am very happy, because I love and being loved.

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The steady knocks on the door woke them finally up.

"Nani?" Haruka raised her head and rubbed her tired eyes. When they went to bed they were finally able to sleep. But it still had been a short night – after they both didn't sleep at all the night before.

Again someone knocked very impatient against the door.

"It's too early. I didn't ask for breakfast." Mumbled Michiru and reached for her Ruka to pull herself closer to the warm body. Her sea green hairs were messed and there was a happy smile on her tired face.

"Morning, love." Haruka leaned over to the other woman and kissed her tenderly. Michiru repeated her kiss loving and grabbed for her arm to stay.

"Morning, Ruka." She yawned and tried to pull the blanket over the both of them. "Just let them go away. I don't give any interviews. And there's no concert this evening." Now she grinned. "And don't worry, those aren't the Three Lights. Those guys aren't awake in such an early hour."

"Early hour? It's almost noon." Giggled Haruka and slowly left the bed. "No, I don't wanna Himme-chan to wake up and to scream terrified around." She ran a hand through her messed blonde hairs and yawned again. Still she wore her warm dark pyjama but now that she left the warm bed – and the warm body besides her – she started to freeze again.

Better I'll hurry up so that I can get back under that soft blanket again. Into so tender arms...

She oppressed another yawn as she opened the door.

There were different flashes of lights and she blinked. Several reporters stood outside the door and several micros and cameras pointed at her.

"Nani?" she whispered and shook her head.

"Are you Kaioh Michiru's new lover?" asked one of the reporters and more flashes crossed the air.

-New- lover? What do you think she is?

She wanted to go over to him, to yell at him and to defend her Michi-chan, as another reporter came over to her and hold his micro under her nose.

"Are you Francis H. Miller?" he asked and again several flashes crossed the air.

"Ruka? Who is it?" Haruka heard how Michiru rose from her bed and came over to her. Still she was too shocked to react. To move. To shout. To beat.

"Answer my question: Are you Francis H. Miller? The famous Formula One racer?"

At that moment Haruka slammed the door and turned the key. Then she turned around and faced Michiru with an expression on her face as if she had seen a ghost.

The young violinist didn't ask. She simply took her into her arms and felt how Haruka held her tight as if she was her only life line.

There's no Francis H. Miller left. She died a long time ago.

Haruka swallowed and felt how Michiru rocked her gently without asking stupid questions. Again it knocked against the door but they both ignored it.

All that remained was Tenô Haruka.

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