Tai: I wrote this story a long time ago-
Reno: It was only like a month ago from today
Tai: Whatever. So, I don't own any Final Fantasy VII names, characters, places, ideas, and whatever else I missed. So enjoy.
Rude: You can't be more enthusiastic?
Tai: Sheesh. SO ENJOY: D
Reno and Rude: massaging ears
Masked Meal
Always up for new challenges, the man began to write down a recently-thought-of plot to test upon some friends. He was alone in his apartment sipping green tea and listening to ocean sounds on a compact disc. It was around nine at night, but he was too excited to sleep. No one would expect such a usually calm guy to scheme such things of this magnitude, or would they?
He sat up late in to the night, writing, crossing out, and editing his idea. It would be perfect before he executed it; he was not going to take a chance by "winging it". The plan involved the usage of two people. Now who should they be? Ah yes, the two most opposite people he could think of. He himself would be present as well, but unrecognizable to his specimens, who both knew him well.
In the morning, he sent off his letters to the experimentees. This being Midgar, they would probably get them later in the afternoon, so his plan would not begin until tonight, if they accepted.
There was never much for the Turks to do these days. Avalanche was no longer a threat, but that was because they had fled Midgar and were somewhere in Costa Del Sol by now. Tomorrow they might have to fly off to the Greater Continent as well to confront AVALANCHE, but having never seen them or anything else unusual in Junon (except for a pesky grunt SOLDIER in the bars), they had returned to Midgar for a short rest.
Elena, the newest member, was glad to be back to think over everything that had happened to her since being inducted. She had first met AVALANCHE in the cave that ran through the mountains separating the Chocobo Farm from the reactor the condor nested upon. Accidentally, she had let slip that Sephiroth was heading for Junon as well as the Shinra who followed him. That set AVALANCHE on the trail too. Being with the Turks was trickier than she thought, but it was fun. The other guys were good for a laugh, but sometimes she couldn't help thinking that they didn't care if they did their job right. At least the boss, Tseng, was decent. In fact, he was pretty handsome…
As she checked her mail with some dreamy thoughts of her chief, she was awoken by a letter bearing only her address and no return. Intrigued, she opened it there in the post box emporium of the apartment complex and pulled out a neat lined paper. It read:
Elena,
You are cordially invited to meet me at the address given at the bottom of this very secret letter at 20:00. You must not tell anyone else you will be going here tonight. If you have any previous plans, you may go ahead with them and I will not be bothered. Financial accommodations have already been taken care of. Never speak of this letter or anything that happens tonight to anyone after tonight until I tell you to.
Do not come as you would normally look. Wear something out-of-the-ordinary as well as a mask that covers your whole face, and make sure that your hair cannot be seen. Cover it with a hood or something creative. I will be nearby, but I will only be watching you. Your partner for this evening will also be masked and in different apparel. Never speak to that person; you may bring along a notepad for writing. Wait for each other before you do anything.
Do not tell them your name, what you work as, or go against the wishes of this letter. I will know about it if you do. If something dreadful happens, you have permission to remove their mask and get help. Do not show them your letter.
Do not be afraid. You are not in any danger. I am a friend of yours.
Of course, there was no name at the bottom but an address. Even more cryptic was the fact that the letter was typed, so she couldn't recognize the handwriting. Indeed she was scared by this letter; what if she went and was assaulted or violated somehow? Why couldn't she tell anybody? It would be just like a sexual predator to say "I am a friend of yours." If she dressed up like a man, though, she might not be recognized. How would the letter's sender even recognize her? Oh, the mask…
She spent the rest of her day making up whether to go or not. When she did decide, she spent the remaining time putting together a costume and wondering who she was supposed to be seeing besides the letter's sender. Was this a blind date? Hopefully it would be Tseng. She had always hoped for a chance to get to know him better and to spark an interest in him of her. Then again, maybe it was someone she didn't even know.
It was nearly 7:45 when she was finally ready. She was garbed in hiking boots, thick pants, a leather jacket, a face-fitting mask with holes for the eyes and nostrils, and the jacket's hood pulled up over her head. She had her blonde hair back in a net just in case. Hopefully she looked tough and would be left alone by any thugs that might be lying in wait at the address given in the letter, even if the sender knew she was a woman.
Turns out, the weather was hardly cold enough for her mode of dress. She was sweltering by time she made it to the given address. It was a diner she was being sent to. Restaurant nonetheless, and if this was a date, it was very typical. She entered and felt very silly to be wearing a mask in such a casual setting. She just sat waiting for her partner, since that person was not to be seen sitting anywhere.
Presently, the person entered. They were dressed in a long white gown, wearing nice-looking shoes, a mask that resembled a dog's face, and a shawl covered their head and was wrapped around their neck. She went up to that person and showed them her notepad. They showed her theirs. She pointed to the hostess.
The hostess had probably been on the lookout for these two, having been informed by the letter's sender. She didn't ask, "How many?" or "Smoking or Nonsmoking?" but turned to lead them to their table. Elena's partner wrote something, tapped the hostess and showed it to her. The hostess shook her head and said, "Sorry. Your table has been reserved." So she took them to a booth near a window. Elena saw her fellow masked personage had written "Smoking please". She felt mildly disgusted. This was not Tseng.
The hostess left them with menus. Elena wrote on her paper, "Hi. I'm sorry, I can't tell if you are a guy or a girl."
Her partner replied, "I'm a guy. This is so messed up."
"Yeah, I know. Why can't we know each others' names?"
"Don't know. Have any clue who did this to us?"
"No. What if we left?"
"Our mysterious benefactor is somewhere around here. He'd know if we left."
"How do you know it's a 'he'?"
"I don't know. Just guessing. Don't want to say 'it'."
"Yeah."
Elena noticed the dog-mask man wrote left-handedly. Did she know any lefties? None came to mind even when she searched the farthest edges of her memory. If she wasn't allowed to know this guy's name, she could at least know a little bit more about him. She prepared her pen, but he had already written a question.
"Did your letter mention no name-giving?"
"Yes. So what do you do?"
"I was told not to tell you my job."
"Me too, but can you describe it to me? Maybe I can guess it; that wouldn't be you directly telling me."
"Sure, but you'll never get it. I do all kinds of things."
"Are you a handyman?"
"?"
"What do you mean by all kinds of things?"
"I'm assigned various tasks."
"Oh, like a carpenter?"
"If they ask me to be, yeah. I bet you ski for a living."
"Oh no!"
"You probably live up north then, right? Maybe you shoulda bought some new clothes."
"Ha ha." She did feel rather hot now, and being made fun of made it no easier to tolerate her choice clothing. She caught the eyes of her "date," if that's what this meeting was supposed to be. The eyes were clear blue, and they seemed zestful yet relaxed. She knew it wasn't polite to stare into another's eyes, but she knew she had held a gaze with these eyes before. They seemed to be trying to remember her brown eyes from somewhere as well, but then they fell behind the limited choices of food on the menu. She followed suit.
Dog-mask pushed his notepad at her. "Who's paying?"
"The letter said financial accommodations had been taken care of."
"What…mine sure didn't!"
"It didn't? The letter-sender is supposed to pay for it, right?"
"Hope so. I sure ain't."
"Maybe yours mentioned it and you forgot it."
"No, I got it here. You can't see it," he said, pulling out a crumpled letter from inside the white gown.
"Oh. Doesn't say anything?"
"Says I am expected to do 'the right thing.' Why the hell should I pay?"
This guy was no gentleman, and that assured her this was not Tseng. The man before her was lowered again in her opinion of him. "Because you're the man here."
He did some sort of double take and sent her an infuriating answer: "I thought you were a man too."
Sure, she had dressed to look like a tough guy, but being angry at the man as she already was, this response took her a little over the top. She was glad to have him pay now and felt like ordering the most expensive thing on the menu just to spite him. Maybe as an apology, Dog-mask wrote, "I don't care what you order. I can pay for it." She just nodded her head at him.
The waitress came to bring them water, and routinely asked, "Ready to order?" Elena was, but the man wrote NO in his small, scribbly handwriting. With an air of who-are-these-lunatics about her, the waitress departed. Elena wrote, "What's wrong?"
"Nothing. Too many choices." A few seconds later he added, "What do you want to drink?"
"Water is fine."
"No beer or wine?"
"If it's all the same to you, I would rather you don't drink anything like that," she wrote, becoming more annoyed with him.
"It's not all the same to me. What's your problem?"
"Nothing. I just don't want to be on a…" she scribbled that out and wrote underneath, "I don't want to be meeting someone for the first time and watching them get drunk."
"I'm not getting drunk with one bottle of beer! And I meet people for the first time all the time and watch them get drunk."
"So you go to bars and clubs, I take it."
"Yeah. What's it to you, wallflower?"
"Please don't drink. I am not in the mood for anything to be getting out-of-hand. That letter was uncanny enough."
"I'll get dehydrated. Maybe I can drink your blood." This last part scared her, though she thought vampires aren't real.
"WHAT?"
"Hahahaha"
"What is it?"
"You're really jumpy. First we met, you were nice to me. Now you're hostile. Is it your time of month?"
Elena got up to leave; this guy had said too much. She felt like belting him in the face, but fortunately she could still control her temper. The man got up and grabbed her shoulders to push her back into her seat, but she resisted. She grabbed his wrists and would have thrown him over her head, but another pair of hands came to rest on hers. She looked up and saw an old man smiling kindly over her. He separated her and Dog-mask and coaxed them back in to their seats.
"Please don't leave. The food here is excellent. Please don't disturb the other customers either. Have a nice dinner," he suggested in a crackly, yet faintly familiar voice. Then he hobbled back to his seat where a lady sporting blonde curls and dark eye glasses was waiting for him.
Elena turned to face Dog-mask, who was holding out his notepad to her. The newest formation of words upon it read, "I'm really sorry. I didn't mean…didn't know you would take it so seriously. I'm used to joking. Done that one with many girls."
Elena disdainfully wrote, "Sure whatever. Don't do anything like that again. I don't care if you get drunk now. I'd like you to have a hangover and die."
"Hehehe. But you don't mean it."
"No, I probably don't, but right now I sure feel like it."
When the waitress returned, both the masked people were ready. Elena wrote out, "I would like the BBQ Special, please" on a clean sheet of paper so the waitress (who's name was Shizuka) wouldn't see their past conversations. Dog-mask showed her his preferences too. Before leaving, she repeated aloud their orders. "A BBQ special and a cup of rice and shrimp gumbo? Nothing else to drink?" They shook their heads. She nodded and left. Elena looked at Dog-mask and tilted her head. He shrugged. This little favor heightened him somewhat.
He wrote, "Where are you from?"
"Kalm."
"And you're dressed like that because…?"
"So you don't know who I am. I feel like fainting in this jacket."
"Sorry. Got this garb from a pawn shop today. Look like an old hag, right?"
"With that shawl especially, yeah." She laughed a little at his making fun of himself. She could tell he smiled by watching his eyes.
"So you live in Kalm right now?"
"No, here. You too?"
"Yeah."
"Ever been to this restaurant before?"
"Sure. Bet you haven't."
"No, I have. But you took so long in choosing I got the impression you'd never come."
"Oh. My hand is really hurting now."
"Not used to desk work?"
"No, I do it all the time. Sometimes."
"You're not very good at descriptions."
"So what? Words can never describe some things. What are words anyway?"
Elena was surprised at the man. Maybe she had judged him too quickly. "Hey, I'm sorry."
"For what? I'm the one who sassed you."
"No, just for being all defensive and difficult."
"No worries." They sat in silence after that until their food came. It was surprisingly better than expected of such a lowly diner. Then again, everything was turning out different from expected with this whole get-together. When she was trying to eat, Dog-mask passed her his notepad.
"How old are you, are you married, got any kids?" Strangely personal questions. She answered, "You're not going to do anything to me are you?"
He wrote, "No. I understand you must feel unsafe. Didn't mean to sound like a stalker with those questions." Then he went and answered his own inquires, "I'm not married, have no kids, no relationships, and I'm 25."
Maybe he thought this would make her feel better. She decided to trust him a little bit more, thinking over his recent apologies and sincerity. "I'm 21, not married, no kids, no relationships."
"Pretty young. Wanna see my ID? Then you'll know who I am. Nothing in the letter about not showing IDs."
"No."
"Why not?"
"We aren't supposed to know each other until the letter-sender appears."
"Spoil sport. He won't know."
"He's around here somewhere though."
"Fine."
As their meal came to a close, they were visited by the same old man from before, this time accompanied by his lady friend. The lady was incredibly powerful-looking, even in her long blonde curls and superfluous pink frilly dress. The old man smiled and said, "I hope you have enjoyed your meal. When you are finished, I would love to speak with both of you outside. We'll just wait for your check, and once you've paid young man, we'll go." Then he just stood in silence while Elena and Dog-mask finished their meal and waited for Shizuka.
They left cautiously, not quite sure what the old man had in store for them. Outside was muggy and the air felt tangible. Elena couldn't take anymore of the heat in her thick clothes. Who cares if the letter's sender hadn't appeared now? She had a tee-shirt on underneath the thick jacket that would be so much more comfortable to walk around in. Before she could do anything, though, she heard a remarkable statement in a voice she was sure she knew.
"Great job you two. You may remove your masks now." It was Tseng who said it. Elena turned around to see the old man fingering something along the sides of his face. Elena took of her hood and mask, feeling the air hit the previously-covered places happily. Her happiness turned to shock when she turned around to see Dog-mask in the limelight. The mask revealed a pointy face with two red marks underneath the eyes. The unraveled shawl exposed a mass of crumpled red hair. Dog-mask was none other than her fellow Turk, Reno. He looked as stunned as she.
The formerly old man stood tall now as their boss Tseng, and he was holding a flabby mask bearing the likeness of an old man's face. Was he the letter-sender? Elena looked on is disbelief as her boss laughed to himself. The lady only smiled. She was brought to frown again as Reno started laughing and pointing at her. "If that's the chief, you must be Rude!" he shouted. Elena whirled around to face Reno, but swiftly turned back to see it was indeed another Turk by the name of Rude. He had used a ton of make-up to make himself unrecognizable. He was now taking his curly blonde wig off and, though seemingly unable to show emotion, looked completely embarrassed.
Tseng, dressed in his old person's clothes, said, "I know you're both very confused. Let me explain. I sent you those letters for many reasons." He seemed as if he was going to continue, then he closed his mouth. He opened it again, but closed it. Then he shook with silent laughter and finally said, "I just can't find any explanation right now."
"I know what you're gonna say boss. This was all just a game for you! That's all it was!" yelled Reno, who was part angry that he had been overcome like this and part impressed by Tseng's idea of a practical joke.
"No, not the whole thing. There was more to this than you think," ventured Tseng.
Elena couldn't find any other reason than what Reno had said. She was upset for having been used like that. "Sir, how could you?"
"Elena, please, that's not it. I wanted to see…"
"I'll see you tomorrow. Goodnight," she whispered. Then she was off before Tseng could say anymore. Reno yelled after her, "Goodnight!"
At work the next day, she got two overdue apologies. First, Reno casually came by her and said, "Hey, sorry for how I treated you yesterday. No hard feelings, okay?"
Tseng, instead of summoning her to his office like he could have, came to her like the gentleman he was and spoke. "Elena, I realize my intentions for last night were entirely selfish. I thought I was doing an experiment to study off of later, but I know now that it was all for my entertainment. I regret ever having thought of it and I am deeply sorry."
She looked at him and saw his handsome face drawn with guilt. She felt that maybe she was carrying this out too far as she continued to look at him. Finally, she said, "I'm sorry sir. I shouldn't have overreacted. It would have been funny, I suppose. Thank you, don't worry about it anymore."
He smiled and replied, "Good, because we've been ordered to fly over to the Gongaga area to look over things there. AVALANCHE is supposed to be heading that way as well and we are expected to confront them."
"Then let's go!" said Elena cheerily, glad to put this event behind them. Of course, Reno would never let her go for it or Rude for wearing a dress. Many times during those following months would she hear reference to that night, and sometimes she would laugh with him and other times he would receive a sharp blow to the head.
