14. Thermodynamics

As Brandon and I leave the cafeteria, I'm vaguely aware that Rosalie's cursing me with all her mental strength; she's not happy that the whole school thinks of me and Brandon as an item, naturally, but I suppose my siblings had seen that coming, possibly thanks to Alice's gift. So that's not what's really driving her mad.

My lunch hour conversation with Brandon, as enjoyable as it overall was, has given us away and my siblings know he has figured out our true nature. I'm not too worried about it; she's often griping about some perceived slight or injustice….. But I know that after school I will have to go home and have a difficult conversation with her and the rest of my family. I trust everything will be fine in the end. There is no way Carlisle will allow any of us to take revenge on Black's descendants. Still, I owe him an explanation but it will have to wait. I close my mind to her distance whining and focus on the lovely boy walking next to me.

When we reach French class and take our seats, I sit close to him instead of perching on the edge of my seat, as I usually do. Waves of heat and of his delicious smell crash against the shore of my consciousness like the waves of a raging sea intent on eroding a craggy coast, but they don't bother me as much as I thought they would. The part of me that cares about him is getting stronger and stronger and I am determined to enjoy the happiness he has so recently brought into my life. I smile at him and he smiles back.

I barely catch a few stray thoughts from the few people who haven't heard of the new couple yet, surprised by our obvious closeness, before Mrs. Morrison announces that today's class will be a little different. In fact, we will be watching a movie, some French classic. Our classmates are clearly enthused and their thoughts wrap themselves around the concept that watching a movie is not really studying or work. Their minds are already drifting away from French and resuming examining other issues, dating concerns and other trivial preoccupations. I don't share their hatred for regular classes, but since I don't really have much to learn this will probably be less boring; it will be different from the usual droning lectures at least.

When she turns off the lights, however, feelings I wasn't expecting stir in the depths of my frozen heart without my consent. My superior eyesight means things haven't changed much for me, and yet I feel odd. The knowledge that this veil of darkness is enough to give Brandon and me a modicum of privacy reminds me that, for all our progress, I crave even more. I am, in fact, almost overwhelmed by a sudden urge to get even closer to him, maybe to hold his hand. I'm not sure I'm ready for that, and I still doubt he could desire to touch my cold, smooth skin. Peeved, I cross my arms and ball my fists, resisting the urge to touch him with all my will, scared that it might be too soon for this step and that the part of me who wants to feed on him could gain control of my actions.

Even so, I turn toward him, imagining sparks flying between us, a strong current running from me to him on invisible wires. As soon as I do, I notice he has adopted a similar posture, like he's fighting off similar urges. That can't be true, can it? And yet, it really looks like it. What other explanation could there be for his actions?

We exchange tight smiles, although I'm not sure he can see my expression clearly without vampire eyes. I'm just about ready to keep fighting these desires for the rest of the hour, but Brandon surprises me by abruptly shifting in his chair and laying one of hands, open and facing up, on the desk, right in front of me. In his timid gaze, I can see his fear of being rejected, and the hope he won't be. I just look at him, and, unexpectedly bolder, he whispers:

"You said we're breaking all the rules, right? Well, if we are going to hell let's do it in style." He looks cheeky.

I try to hide my surprise but probably do rather poorly. One tiny voice in my head keeps inviting me prudence and restraint, but I quickly decide to ignore it. I lift my hand and gently place it in his. Another wave of emotion sweeps and courses through me, uninvited and yet not unpleasant.

I feel his heat, the softness of his skin, the way our fingers interlace, caress, explore….. Most of all, though, I feel some kind of imaginary warmth seep down to my still heart, wrap around it and seep through it, a light and ethereal as smoke. He wants to touch me just as much as I want to touch him. Once again, I feel a kind of joy I'd never even known could exist. I wallow in this unexpected happiness while we pretend to watch a movie that clearly means nothing to both of us, as his skipping heartbeats tell me.

The hour goes by slowly, and yet all too quickly. When the lights come on again, our hands part, but slowly and hesitantly. Neither of us is happy about that.

I remain silent as we amble out the door, my body and soil still in turmoil. I touched his warm flesh for a whole hour and nothing bad happened. Actually, we both really enjoyed it. I feel so much in control that I realize it's time for another experiment.

I can do this, I tell myself. Yes, he's fragile, and I'm afraid I could hurt him…. But if I'm careful, like I was during the movie, I could do what I've dreaming of doing since the night he called my name in his sleep…

I will have to stay in control, it's true, but I know my capabilities. I'm very strong, but I've spent decades practicing my abilities, learning to be much more than a human. I can caress a spider web without breaking it, hold a soap bubble without crushing it, and of course I can play the piano while exerting the strictest control over each and every movement, feeling the melody, hitting the keys with the right amount of force required to achieve the desired effect.

I slowly raise my hand toward him, looking for any sign of discomfort. Naturally, he does what most humans wouldn't, and he doesn't shy away from me. On the contrary, when I gently, oh so gently, stroke his chin, he pushes against my fingers, almost purring like a kitten, relishing our contact like he did in during French class.

My mind is torn… I imagine a pane of glass breaking, shards flying everywhere, each one offering a brief glimpse of desires so dangerous I cannot bare to contemplate them for too long.

I grin at Brandon, still speechless, and walk away quickly. Inside, I'm running away from him but I'm really running away from my own fantasies. It's too bad that we can flee many dangers but we cannot just run from something buried deep in our subconscious.

Alice meets me in the next class, when she catapults herself at me and hugs me tight. We don't have long before class will start and the other students just file inside while casting dubious glances in our direction. They are thinking the Cullen girls are as weird as usual. If only they knew the truth…. I bet they wouldn't be prepared for just how weird we truly are. How could they, they're just puny mortals.

In the meantime, Alice's thoughts come at me. She knows I can always hear her.

Lynn…. I'm so happy for you. The future is still unresolved in some areas but it's shaping up. Most of all, I can see how happy you are. This boy is everything you'd been hoping for, isn't he?

"Yeah, I guess he is." I say. We find our desks. The teacher is late.

"But Lynn, Rosalie's not happy!"

"Is she ever really happy?" I retort.

She laughs melodiously.

"You know what I mean…"

"Yeah, I know…. Let's not talk about it now, though. I'll explain everything later. Carlisle will want to hear this too…."

A dazzling smile is her response, followed by a wink. She must be seeing the future. I don't hear her comment.

"By the way," she whispers, knowing I'll hear. "You two make a really cute couple. You look like you were destined to be together.

"Don't be like that Alice," I reply, suddenly reminded of her visions. Remaining impassive is a struggle; how can I do that to him? It's not right.

We quietly keep talking throughout the class as we talk about humans and I ask her for dating advice. I'm new to all this and I rely on my sister. Neither the teachers nor the other students are aware of it. At first she gives me some tips, but we end up talking about what she sees in our future. I'm afraid of what she might say, but I need to hear it. She thinks everything will work out okay but she also does warn me that there are still shadows blotting her visions. She confesses that she sees a knot ahead, as she call it. A turning point, dark now, open to many possibilities. WHa happens there, will make everything else much clearer. But I have to get through it, somehow, without losing control.

Now she sees three futures potentially sprouting from that moment….. In one, I accidentally hurt Brandon, and eventually destroy myself. In another one, he becomes one of us. But now, she can see a third one. I finally see it, a flash in her mind, despite her attempts to hide it. In that third one, we are together, but he remains human. It's unlikely, weaker and fuzzier than the other paths, but it does seem to be a viable option. That gives me hope. Maybe not all is lost. She also adds that I should maybe rethink my trip to Seattle. It's going to be sunny that day.

That is bad news, but sometimes unfortunate events can become opportunities. I know he likes me… He might be amenable to other suggestions.

At the end of class I'm eager to reunite with Brandon. Alice tells me she will let the others know that I will go home later tonight and that I have something important to tell them. She will be, of course, ready to support me. Her relaxed attitude, and her thoughts, tell me everything will be just fine. But it will still have to be done, and of course placating Rosalie will be particularly challenging. I will do what needs to be done.

I'm outside his class before he can step outside, and he sees me there, waiting for him, when he does. I watch ecstatic as his expression goes from mildly surprised to pleased, and then to truly happy. He grabs my hand and we walk back to my car together.

He smirks at the cluster of students awed by Rosalie's ride and we get inside. I'm still a little shaken up and remain quiet. My throat burns, but I notice it less and less. I'm slowly becoming inured to his presence.

"That movie was really something, wasn't it?" He says, his tone of voice ambiguous. I laugh a little, mostly to hide how flustered I feel.

"Yes, in a sense. Actually, what was it about?"

"I don't have a clue. I'm not even sure it was really in French. I just heard an indistinct buzz."

"Yes," Come to think of it, I can't remember any of it. "I don't even know whether it was in color or black and white."

He finds this hilarious and erupts in a cheerful laugh.

"There is something I wanted to ask you…."

I peek at him, an idea suddenly popping into my mind.

"Do you really need to go to Seattle this weekend or was it just an excuse to fend off your admirers?" I just realized that a shy boy like him might try to cover up his real feelings with stories like that one.

"It doesn't have to be this Saturday", I was right. And now I'm thrilled; this means he turned them down because he had feelings for me. Something seems to melt away in the depths of my being.

"…but I do want to go to Seattle. I need a real bookstore. I'm running out of reading material. The scheduling was a convenient way to turn them down without hurting their feelings."

I revel in the feeling of being wanted a little longer. Then I realize I'm chewing my lips again but I can't stop. And I still haven't asked him the next question, the one I really want him to answer. I can't hold back anymore, and the words issue from my lips before I can cut them off.

"What if I had asked you to the dance, would you have accepted?"

I feign nonchalance, pretend not to care about his answer, but something in his eyes tells me he's not fooled.

"I would have told you that I'd be happy to spend time with you, anytime and almost anywhere, but not at that dance."

"Why not?" I wish I could shout it from the rooftops: it's as good as another big yes! he can't say no to me.

"It's night club themed. The music will be awful. I wouldn't really call it music, actually."

I have another laugh. When I'm with him, I do that often. Unbelievable. It's still shocking to realize how much I have changed because of him. I'm also happy we seem to share some opinions after all.

"Yes, you're right. It's awful. Amazing, we do have many things in common."

"You like Clair de Lune, don't you?"

How could I not? I think. And then I remember something. I shouldn't go to Seattle with him on a sunny day, that's for sure. We could do something else instead. However, it could be even better. I could do more than that. I could show him what I really am. Put him to the ultimate test and see how he reacts. My dead heart plunges into the darkness when I picture him running off, disgusted and repulsed. But it's something I will have to do, whether I want to or not. He deserves the truth before our bonds become stronger.

"Yes. But let's talk music later. There was something else I wanted to ask you. Keep in mind that you are totally free to refuse."

I want him to know that. I wouldn't force him to do anything. I could, but I never would.

"Ask away." He peers at me, maybe suspicious? I wish Alice was here. I should tell him something honest…..

"This Saturday the weather will be sunny, so I would rather not go to any public place. Would you like to spend the day with me? Just the two of us… You know there are risks involved."

I look down, feeling awkward. It's a good thing I know this road like the back of my own hand.

"I won't complain if you decide not to." Part of me forces me to say. But it's okay. It's up to him now.

"Nonsense. I'll be happy to be alone with you. You saved me, now my life belongs to you. You can do with it whatever you want." He answers without thinking, as I knew he would. But now, I wonder….. Pain mars my pleasure, could blot it out altogether, but I have to ask one more question.

"Is it just gratitude?"

Controlling my voice requires some effort. I don't want him to know how badly I care about his reply.

"We talked about this. My gratitude already gave you the thanks you deserve. I'm here, and I want to see you on Saturday, because I want to be with you before you disappear and crush my heart."

He always knows what to say….. but I think of the shadows Alice glimpsed and now I'm worried again. I won't break his heart, that is silly, but he keeps forgetting there are other obstacles we will have to overcome.

"So what did you have in mind?" He smiles, but something feels forced….

"I was thinking we could go hiking." My own smile, the one I offer in reply, is also strained.

"Sounds great. I love hiking. So, does that mean you will show me what you look like in direct sunlight?" He could read me like an open book. I'm so happy. And he seems unfazed, eager really.

"So where are we going? I suppose we will avoid regular trails… since you don't want to be seen."

Yes, he's definitely smart. His mind is so quick, and sharp. It never stops figuring things out.

"There is a place I like. It's very beautiful and nobody knows about it. It's like my sanctuary, in a sense. I've never even showed it to my family. I could take you if you want, but you should really let your father know you'll be with me. Or tell some of your friends." Alice's words still echo in my ears. She said there is danger in this plan. And yet….. Haven't we been flirting with that danger for a while now? We need to resolve this, one way or another.

"Why?" Bless his trusting heart… he still cannot think of me as a danger. But I am, unfortunately. I have to warn him one more time. I owe it to him.

"I want you to trust me, but there are risks. My self-control will be tested if we are alone for so long, in close contact. I could use an extra reason to bring you back alive…."

I told him the truth, but it's sickening. Despite my feelings, I'm still afraid I could do something horrible. I hate and depise myself.

"It would be more cautious of you to turn me down, Brandon…"

The sounds issue from my lips, but also compose an inner prayer that he won't listen to me.

"I will tell my friends I was with you afterwards, if you don't mind. I don't want you to get in trouble over me. Or to involve your family."

Why am I not surprised in the slightest? He's always so stubborn. I shake my head but can't hide my smile.

"My father knows I like you, though. Just so you know." He winks at me; he's so sweet. "Anyways, going to this secret spot of yours sounds fun, but I can't do anything too strenuous this weekend. My chest still hurts from the game."

"The hike I'll take you on is pretty easy. It's a few miles, but it's fairly flat." He's in better shape than he realizes.

"Okay. I'll be fine then. Do you mind driving? My truck is so noisy…"

"And slow. Of course I'll drive." I say, half laughing. To my hearing, his truck is beyond noisy, to be exact. It's almost unbearable.

"You're coming to school tomorrow, right?" He asks out of the blue, a strange expression reconfiguring his features. He's trying to play it cool, but he seems afraid. He's scared I'll say no; that's so sweet. He shouldn't worry about it

"Yes, I am. Your father will be here soon. I should go."

I can't tell him that, but I won't be gone for long. Soon I'll be back, in his yard but out of sight. I wish I could just go there right now, but my family deserves an explanation.

Before I can leave, though, we stare into each other's eyes for long moments that I wish would never end. Eventually he sighs and reluctantly steps out of the car. I decide I want to mess with him a little, and, moving closer, I tell him:

"Tomorrow it's my turn."

"I'm sorry, what?" I have to hold back laughter when I see how confused he looks.

"It's my turn to ask questions."

"Unlike you, I'm nothing special."

"I'll be the judge of that."

I finally drive off but can't contain my hilarity anymore and have a hearty chuckle. When I remember what I have to do next, any amusement comes to an end. I know everything will be fine… Alice knows what she's talking about, but I hate being the bearer of bad news.

When I stop the car in front of our house, I don't have to wait long for my welcome home. Rosalie walks through the threshold, stomping across the grass and snorting loudly like a beast. I shut my mind from her thoughts, at first, but it doesn't help; she starts shouting at me right away. I knew she was mad but I'm slightly taken aback by the intensity of her rage. Emmett is right behind her, attempting in vain to placate her. Alice is sitting on the porch; she looks like she'll just spectate for this one. I don't blame her. If she could, she'd be probably eating some popcorn.

"Are you out of your mind? Don't you understand what you have done? How could you be so inconsiderate?" My concentration slips and, my guard down, I also get hit by the litany of insults she's screaming at me inside her head.

"Rosalie….. I'm so sorry." I reply calmly, but firmly. She has quite a temper and I know it would be pointless to try to reason with her right now. I'll let her vent some of her anger first.

She stops a few inches from me and, her voice as loud as possible, keeps hurling all manners of insults at me. If our classmates were here they would probably be shocked, and a little awed, by the creativity, and utter filthiness, of her profanities.

Emmet, still doing his best to cool her down, reminds her that, if Alice's visions had any value, the boy would have found out about our true nature anyways. How could he not, if he really is to become one of us. I really appreciate his efforts, but when he reminds me of how selfish I'm being I feel sick. Yet, I manage to hold my own temper. I'm not as quick to anger as Rosalie, but all of my siblings know I can be a formidable when I choose to be. I bet Emmett is mostly worried Rosalie might actually want to fight me. She has no special gifts, aside from her beauty and pigheaded stubbornness, and she would be no match for me in a real scrum. But all of this is my fault, so I won't fight her. She's still my sister.

Instead, I tell her I'm sorry again, and admit that if I hadn't liked the boy to begin with, all of this would have never happened.

"I don't want your excuses…. And your sudden meekness. I don't buy it." Rosalie snarls.

"Then what do you want?" I counter, finally losing my own patience. I don't really need to ask, though. Her mind tells me all too clearly that she would like to rip my heart out… but she's not quite enraged enough to forget how formidable an opponent I could be.

Parts of her are still jealous, I can sense that too, but today that side of her personality is almost dormant. No she's just angry because she doesn't want to go away, and of course she does hate the fact that a human knows our secret.

"Honey, please, calm down." Emmett intones again. Alice is quietly laughing on the sidelines. She's having fun.

"I want to hurt you…." Rosalie finally says. Her thoughts signal she's had an idea. "We won't fight. Esme wouldn't stand it. But I'll go and wreck you beloved Aston Martin, then, how about that?"

Our love of cars is really one of the few things we had in common. But I now know that's all in the past for me.

"How would you like it if, when you come back from school one of these days, your precious vehicle were to have turned into a heap of scrap metal?" She insists, her words dripping venom.

"If that will make you feel better, Rosalie, help yourself. I couldn't care less." I stoically reply.

She huffs and stomps her right foot hard enough to make a dent in the lawn. I think she's bluffing; she loves cars too much to damage mine. But I'm surprised to notice, when I scrutinize my feelings, that I didn't lie to her. I really have no interest in cars anymore.

Before she can say anything else, I add something that makes her and Emmett gasp aloud in surprise.

"I should let you know, however, that you and the rest of the family seem to be victims of a misunderstanding. Yes, it's true," I add, raising one hand to request that Rosalie let me finish talking before resuming her screaming, "he knows what we are. You are not wrong about that. But I didn't tell him. Frankly, I don't think I could have, even if I'd wanted to. I thought he would have run away if I did, and you all know how important he has become to me."

Rosalie gawks at me, speechless but only for an instant.

"What is this? You really expect us to believe that?"

I shrug.

"Believe what you will, but it's the truth."

"I believe you." Emmett interjects before she can continue. "I know how much our true nature bothers you. I really doubt you could have just told him the truth. I don't think I've ever even heard you use that word with us…"

"Let's say I buy it too," Rosalie growls, a little calmer but not by much, "how did he find out then? Who's he? Sherlock Holmes?"

I shake my head ruefully.

"I wish it was that simple… But no, he's no detective, although he's really a lot sharper than you might think. And he has unusual friends, including some descendants of Ephraim Black."

Rosalie and Emmet, stunned, turn to vampire statues. Within seconds, Carlisle is at the door.

"Come inside guys. It's time for a family meeting."

"Cool," says Alice, sashaying inside, "I told Jasper to meet us in the war room." She adds with a carefree wink.

And so we all meet in the living room, at the large dining table where we have certainly never consumed any meal. I remember that so far I haven't really had a chance to Gauge Jasper's reaction and, since he was waiting for us, now it's my chance. A quick peek reveals that he's only considering whether he and Alice should leave, and her safety. He harbors no wishes to hurt Brandon.

"Lynn," Carlisle intones gravely. "What happened exactly? Who told him about us? Who broke the covenant?" Esme seems to be fretting as well. Like Emmet said earlier on, if Alice is right Brandon would have found out anyways…. But if the Quileutes are blabbing about us, it could be an issue.

"Jacob and Rebecca Black have been friends with Brandon since he was a kid. Their father is Charlie Swan's best buddy after all. I didn't ask Brandon for too many details, but basically those two are still so young and they figured that, since Brandon is almost a part of their family, they could be honest with him. They probably felt like they had to warn him. He confided in them that he liked me."

I pause, pondering what to say next.

"You know, father, maybe we should have expected this. Those two are little more than children. They don't understand the gravity of their actions."

"I see…" Carlisle nods. "You're right. We should have seen it coming."

"Doesn't this mean that we are not bound by our agreement anymore?" Emmet thinks out loud, almost embarrassed when he realizes it we all heard it.

"It doesn't matter," Carlisle replies waving away any doubts with a careless swipe of his right hand. "We won't be hurting any of them."

"Okay, but what do we do, then?" Rosalie whines…. "Should we leave again? A human knows about us, and we cannot count on the Quileute's discretion anymore. Damn," she adds, "This isn't right. This is a good place for us."

I bristle at the thought. I can't go anywhere without him. We all turn to Carlisle.

"I don't think we have to do anything, for now." He casts a glance in Alice's direction to seek confirmation. She' smiles and nods. "But yes, if things get out of control we will have to leave. There is really no other option. Alice will warn us if that's the case."

I look at Jasper, but before I can read his mind he talks first.

"Actually, I don't understand what all this commotion is about. Lynn is in love with him. Sooner or later he would have found out. Besides, He's already proven he's a man of honor. He promised he wouldn't tell anybody the truth about Lynn's rescue and he kept his word. He's a rather unusual child, very different from the others. I think Lynn chose her partner well."

Now it's my turn to gape at him, speechless. I knew he'd come around but this is still rather surprising.

"So, it's agreed." Carlisle says, smiling a little, "we won't be doing anything for the time being."

"Wait," Emmett suddenly speaks up. "I agree it would be wrong to exact revenge on those children, but shouldn't we at least remind them of our pact? Just so this breach won't happen again?"

We all ponder his words, but in the end Carlisle says it's better not to seek contact with the wolf people intentionally. It could cause unpleasant misunderstandings.

"Lynn," he then says, looking at me, "we are all set here. Isn't there somewhere else you'd rather be?" He winks at me, while giving his wife a hug, and I smile back.

"There certainly is, father. Am I excused?"

"You are." He says, laughing.

Soon enough, I'm back at the Swans' residence. In their yard, I resume my watch. I hear Brandon and his dad wash the dishes and then he runs upstairs. Within ten minutes, however, I hear a vehicle approaching. It's an old, battered van. Strange, I muse, their street is at the edge of town and it's usually deserted past 5pm. There just aren't many houses here, and the neighbors are distant lights, well away. There are three people inside.

I quickly scan their minds and physically flinch. It's Billy Black and the two kids I was just telling my family about, Jacob and Rebecca. Well, it's not so strange, although it is a weir coincidence. I know Billy is a friend of Charlie, and his mind his filled of images of baseball. I almost laugh about it…. They think they are so different from us… I wonder how they would react if they knew that Emmett and Rosalie will probably be watching the very same game.

Then I become curious and read the children's minds. There might be something else, in there, about why they warned Brandon of our true nature. It's an excellent opportunity to learn more about them. The boy, Jacob, is also thinking about the game, and cars, but I detect some concern for Brandon and his dangerous girlfriend. That must be why he told him about us. He just wanted to make sure his friend would be okay.

When I scan Rebecca's mind, however, I instinctively snap a branch off the bough I'm sitting on and grind it bits between my fingers. The wolf-child is also thinking about Brandon, but her thoughts are of a very different nature. The wolf-witch likes him and wants to ask him out…

No…..!

A larger branch turns to sawdust before I regain control. She wants to seduce him.

I wish I could jump off my bough and run straight at her, I think while the visitors are greeted by Charlie Swan and eventually end up in the living room. I could be at her throat in seconds. She-wolf or not, she would be dead before she even realizes what is happening…. Her blood stinks but right now I'm sure it would taste sweet nonetheless.

But no, I can't do that. I exhale and let my body go limp. I will not give in to my basest urges, and I won't hurt an innocent child. I will have to wait and see, and not for long. Apparently they are both bored of the game that the other people present love so much.

They head upstairs. I can hear them talk, barely audible but enough to make out the words. She hasn't showed her hand yet. She's just luring him upstairs with some pretext, something about music. Even though I don't need to breathe, I usually do just to use my sense of smell. But now, I have completely forgotten how to. I can only focus on what is going on in the house, on Brandon and the witch. If a nuclear bomb were to detonate in our vicinity I wouldn't notice.

He plays some music and she listens quietly. I have to make an effort to relax my tensing muscles before the bough I'm sitting on ends up like the branches I I reduced to pulp.

Brandon strums a few tunes, but I'm happy that Clair de Lune is not one of them. That song is for the two of us. His choice gives me hope, but I feel like I'm being swallowed by a quagmire, unable to prevent it and yet not resigned to this bitter end.

In a break between songs, she finally approaches him, ready to make her move. I turn into stone as I force my limbs to remain still, and stare into the abyss. If he says yes to her I will… Well, I will leave at first, try my best to survive… If the pain becomes too much I know where I can seek help.

I can see in her mind that she has stepped even closer to him. Her rapacious hands light on his shoulders and start stroking them. The edge of the chasm beckons, but hope is still in my heart. It's hard to tell, but she seems to think he's not against this. She pushes even closer, until she can push her breast against him. I close my eyes, think of where I parked my car…..

"Becca, what are you doing?" The boy's voice brings me back from the brink.

"Your shoulders are a bit stiff. I thought I'd help you out. Don't you like it? Can't you feel the warmth our bodies generate when pressed together? Doesn't it make you feel good?"

Wolves don't give up easily, I think ruefully, but then, for a brief second, another kind of picture unspools itself in my mind; I look at my cold, lifeless hands and understand her point. What can I offer to Brandon? How could we belong together? Am I really just being selfish?

Wait, he's moving away from her. What is he thinking?

"It is very nice, but that's not the point…."

What is he talking about? Could he possibly….?

"Come on, we have known each other since we were children. You and Jacob are like family. Besides, you know I'm dating Lynn Cullen. Trust me, you do not want to make her angry."

Rebecca notices he's embarrassed, and not interested in her in the slightest. Her anger is like a sudden brushfire, spreading to every corner of her psyche, but she manages to hold it in check and even hide it.

"And, actually, didn't you and Jacob tell me that due to your, er, special talents, you will know it immediately when you find your soulmate, or something like that? Imprinting you called it, right?"

Ah, so Brandon heard about that.

Rebecca is annoyed, but she does like him and I sense she also thought it would be safer for him not to date me.

"It doesn't mean we can't have fun before we meet this fated mate, if that ever happens. That's what the elders told us but none of us has imprinted yet. Also, I'm not afraid of the Cullens, and I respect their ways, but are you sure you want to be involved with Lynn? Don't you need something warmer?" Her last effort. I'm still scared, but I'm also more confident. I know he won't let me down.

"Something softer…."

Yes, he's moved away from her, rather decisively. My heart is on fire agin.

"There are different kinds of warmth. Her body is colder than ours, I'll grant you that, but her heart, whether it beats or not, is a different story. Let's go back downstairs, Becca. I really like you and I hope we will always be friends but I can't be what you want me to, I'm sorry."

My hear brims with joy now, overflowing, and the night is full of mystery and beauty.

They return downstairs but I don't need to keep saying attention to them. Rebecca's defeat was complete. She's still a little stunned he turned her down, she hadn't seen it coming. I float in that feeling, sitting under a sea of stars, and think of Brandon.