Taboo
They stand under the yellow light of the street lamp outside Roy's parent's house, hands shoved deep into pockets in the cold night. Roy leans against the lamppost, Maes against the side of his parents' car. Maes has been away at field training for a month, his first step to becoming an officer. Roy, an alchemist, is exempt.
Maes goes back tomorrow, or maybe by now it's today. He thinks it's funny that he has spent more than half of his first weekend home at Roy's house. Roy smiles when he says it out loud, looking up through his bangs.
As they continue to waste the night talking about nothing, Maes holds back an insanely strong urge to say something else. He's never fought the instinct to spout off the first thing that comes to mind, but tonight he really, really tries.
He knows that he's missed Roy during his month away; he knew before he came that he wanted to spend more time with him than with his own family. But he knows that he's missed Roy to a degree that his friend couldn't possibly understand. He used to be afraid himself, before he understood what he was feeling.
He wants to tell Roy that he likes him, more than just a friend, more than any man should like another man.
But he doesn't. His self-restraint, for maybe the only time in his life, prevails. When it finally gets too cold, he crosses to the driver's side, gets in, and pulls away. It will be another month before he visits again.
