Hey Hey Hey! How are you today? I hope awesome, because YOU are awesome!
Alright my fabulous SPN family- still trying to get to 50 by Monday...cross your fingers and pray the website doesn't crash, hee hee hee. Thank you from the bottom of my hunter heart for your support and reviews and follows and all that. You all are amazing. Truly.
A/N- in this story, Natalie is 6 months old. Please see profile page for disclaimer.
"Sam, I don't think this is right."
"Dean, we need to do this."
"Look, man. I am telling you it's too soon."
"No, it's not. Dean- we have to do this. Who knows what could happen if we don't?"
"What'll happen is that everything will be fine, Sam. It's just….it's not time yet."
"Dean. You have to face reality here. It's time."
With a defeated sigh, Dean hung his head, begrudgingly acknowledging that Sam was right. He looked back up, the stoic grind of a Hunter's look in his eye.
"Fine. Let's do it."
In tandem, the boys turned towards the thing they were both dreading. A six month old in a high chair.
Sam had been doing his research, and according to all the baby websites, Natalie would be able to start eating solid food between 4 to 6 months old. When she had reached four months, Sam tentatively suggested it to Dean, who had shot it down immediately, saying that they had time and that she wasn't ready. Not wanting to start a fight, Sam backed off.
However, when he tried again at five months and Dean shot him down again immediately, Sam began to suspect that something was up. He tried talking to Dean indirectly about it to see what the issue was, but Dean clammed up like a mobster confronted by the Fuzz. Sam had made the decision that, at six months, he wasn't letting Dean out of this. That deadline was today.
At taking one look at his happy, smiling daughter in her high chair, Dean immediately started backpedaling again. "Nope. She's not ready," he exclaimed, making a beeline towards her to get her out of that contraption. Before he got too far though, Sam grabbed his shoulder.
"Dean!" he said with authority. Dean rolled his bottom jaw and stopped. "Why are you fighting me on this? You know that this is what's best for Natalie!" Sam argued.
Dean shrugged off Sam's hand and whipped around to face his brother. "Oh yeah? And why is that, Sam? Huh? Because the computer told you so? Since when does Google get to make our life choices?"
Sam couldn't help but roll his eyes. He had recited all the facts and figures to Dean already, but apparently, he was going to have to go through it all again. "Google is NOT making our life choices, Dean. The websites suggest-"
"So now you're saying a website knows my daughter better than I do. Thanks, Sam."
"If you would stop interrupting me for five seconds, I could actually tell you that-"
"That what? That I'm a bad father for waiting this long?"
"I didn't say that-"
"That she's going to be, I don't know, developmentally disabled or something just because she's not eating mushy peas?"
"No, I-"
"Then what, Sam? What?" Dean pressed hotly. Sam adopted his bitch face and leaned back, his arms folded. He simply closed his mouth. After a moment, Dean gestured angrily towards him. "What? You don't have any more pearls of wisdom to share?"
In a calm voice, Sam replied. "I'm just waiting for you to stop interrupting me like a child." Dean scowled at Sam's words.
"You're a child," he muttered. Sam rolled his eyes, but seized the moment.
"Look. The experts suggest that you start trying solid foods at between four to six months. We should just try it."
"Why?" Dean pressed. "She's perfectly fine and happy with her bottles." As if on cue, Natalie banged her baby hands down on the plastic tray in front of her. She squirmed back and forth, not really caring for the way that this plastic thing that Uncle Sam put her into restricted her movements, but enjoying the noise she could make nonetheless. She squealed in delight as the boys continued to argue.
"And if she doesn't like the solid food, that's okay. There's no rush," Sam explained yet again.
"Exactly. So why even bother?" Dean countered immediately. "There's no harm in waiting, as long as she starts solids before she's one." That fact took Sam by surprise. Not the actual fact- but that Dean knew it.
"How did you know that?" Sam asked, perplexed.
Dean shot him an are you serious? face. "You think you've got the corner on research? If you remember correctly, I was the one who taught you how to start doing research in the first place," he said triumphantly, crossing his arms and looking superior. Sam crossed his own arms and leaned back.
"Fine. Then tell me what "Bing" is."
Dean thought for a moment. "A kind of cherry that you put in pie," he answered determinedly. Sam just shook his head.
"Dude, look. You're right about the one year part-"
"I know."
"BUT they also say that if there's food allergies in the family, it's better to catch them early with babies," Sam explained patiently. Dean threw his arms out wide.
"What the hell, Sam? Since when does anyone in our family have food allergies?" he said, disbelieving the excuse he was hearing. Sam put his hands on his hips, and dropped his head, addressing the carpet with his next sentence.
"I know we don't," he said, letting his words trail off before lifting his head and looking Dean right in the eye. His words made Dean stop cold. It was the closest thing either one of them had gotten to mentioning Natalie's missing mother since Natalie had been born and she had flown the coop. Sam had a point that Dean couldn't deny. The Winchesters didn't have food allergies, but Jamie might have. Dean tried to clear the lump that suddenly appeared in his throat. When he couldn't, he shook his head and tried to speak stoically.
"Isn't there some kind of test or something that we could do to check on crap like that?" he asked. Sam knew Dean well enough to hear the slight crack in his rough exterior. He spoke gently, wanting to help Dean deal with this sudden revelation.
"Yeah. And before they put a baby though that kind of medical testing, they'll ask if you've tried solid foods with her first. Dean, believe me, I've done all the research on this, because I know that, for whatever reason, you don't want to do this." At that, Dean turned away from Sam and faced the wall. Sam continued to plead. "It's better for her to try to actually eat something first than put her through a series of potentially unnecessary medical tests. And if she doesn't like the food, or can't or won't eat it right now, then we don't force it. But look at her."
Dean did as Sam asked, and looked at his baby. She was pinching her eyes shut at the noise the she was making, slamming her hands down repeatedly on the plastic high chair tray, and laughing explosively. "She's sitting up perfectly fine on her own. Her neck muscles are supporting her head just fine. She can hold stuff in her hands. And the other night when we were eating, she starting looking at me, and making chewing gestures with her mouth. All indicators that she's ready to try this," Sam said.
Dean continued to stare at Natalie. He stared so long that Sam started to think he had fallen asleep standing up. After a solid two minutes of silence, sans the baby noises, Dean finally looked back at his brother and took a deep breath.
"Alright. Fine then. Let's do this," he said suddenly. He walked over to the table, snatching the first jar of baby food that was in sight. Sam had gone to the store earlier and stocked up. When he had come home and Dean saw them, the entire fight had started up, and now here they were.
Dean kept the jar tightly closed in his fist as he went to another bag in the room. Sam's curious eyes followed him as he dug into a bright green striped bag. It wasn't Natalie's usual diaper bag, but part of a matching set that Jamie had left behind. In it were items that they might need in the future. After a moment, Dean withdrew a set of bright purple and pink baby spoons. He held them up to Sam with an ironic look.
"Thinking ahead," he said gruffly. Sam instantly realized what Dean meant by that. Jamie had purchased them, along with 90 percent of the baby paraphernalia they still used. She had left them piles upon piles of baby gear- all before she vanished into thin air. Dean must have known they were in there. Sam instantly felt guilty for making Dean relive that moment, but Dean was too busy tearing open the package to say anything. When he did look up, Sam was shocked and a little relieved to see a grin on Dean's face.
"Well, if this kid's anything like me, she'll love eating. Maybe you're onto something, Sammy," he said. Sam smiled as Dean walked towards him. With another deep breath, Dean twisted off the cap of the baby food. Both brothers leaned down, but instantly reared back after getting a whiff of the orangey goo in the jar.
"Ugh," Dean groaned, before tossing the cap on the nearby table, and dipping the edge of the spoon into it. "How much are we supposed to give her?" he asked, looking at his brother and trying not to inhale.
"Baby Center dot com said start with just one teaspoon." Dean pulled the spoon out of the jar and looked at it, forgetting that it had just been in a jar of mush. He held it out to Sam.
"Is that what this is? A teaspoon?"
"Dean, watch out! You're dropping it on the carpet," Sam scolded, jumping back to keep the baby food from hitting his shoe. Dean looked down to see the orange mush puddle on the ground. He looked back at Sam with another shit-eating grin.
"Probably not the worst stain this carpet has ever seen," he joked. Sam rolled his eyes as Dean plunked the spoon back into the small jar. "So- teaspoon? Yes?" he asked again.
Sam nodded. "Do you honestly not know what size a teaspoon is?"
"Do I look like a sissy?"
"That's a teaspoon size."
"Good. Now was that so hard?" Dean asked, giving Sam another superior look. He walked over to Natalie, who smiled and made grabbing movements towards her daddy when she saw him walking towards her. He grinned back. God, he loved this cute little snot-rag.
"Alright, shorty, here's the deal," he explained to her, as if she understood every word. "This junk," he said, hoisting the spoon out of the jar again, flinging more of its contents onto the ground.
"Dean…" Sam growled, again dodging the flying food. Dean ignored him.
"This junk is supposed to go in there," he said to Natalie, pointing to her mouth. "So make this easy on your old man and just go with it. Got it?" Natalie tilted her head to the side and grinned, not having a clue what he just said. She was just happy with the attention. "Sam, c'mere," Dean instructed.
"What?"
"Well, you gotta help me with this."
"How am I supposed to help you?"
"Do I just…..stick it in her mouth or what?" That brought Sam up short. He stammered for a moment.
"I don't know. Try it and see." Dean looked at Sam, disbelieving that for all his research, he had missed this crucial point. Sam just shrugged. In tandem, they both turned towards Natalie again. Dean cautiously and fearfully extended the spoon towards her, as if he was holding out a juicy steak to a starving dog. Sam leaned with him.
Natalie's eyes darted back and forth, not sure why Daddy or Sam were looking so intensely at her. As if on pure reflex, she leaned away from them too, but they just kept coming at her. Not to mention, whatever Daddy was holding out to her smelled new and weird. She kept leaning back until she couldn't anymore.
That gesture from the baby made Dean nervous, but he was already in too deep. He had to keep going. He gently touched his baby's lips with the spoon. Having the smell right under her nose made Natalie squawk in displeasure. It was a bad move on her part- some of the nasty smelling gunk made its way into her mouth.
Once Dean saw that, he quickly withdrew the spoon from her mouth. Both boys looked anxiously at her expression. Surprise, then confusion, then utter disgust registered on the baby's face in a matter of ten seconds. She stuck out her tongue, but didn't know how to dislodge the gross taste. She tried shaking her head, but the taste remained. So she did what babies do best. She screwed up her face to start crying.
At that, Dean tossed the spoon on the table, snatched up a bottle, and held it up to her mouth instantly. "Nope. See? Not ready," he growled at Sam, hating that he had almost made his daughter cry. She sucked at the bottle with relief. The bad taste was going away.
"Dean, she just might not like the taste of whatever that kind was," Sam explained patiently. At that moment, Natalie pulled her face away from the bottle. She was just happy to have the gross orange stuff gone. Dean put the bottle down and snatched the offending jar back up.
"Well, let's see. What kind is this, then?" he said, examining the jar. When Dean saw the label on the baby food jar, his face went apoplectic with rage. He shoved it in Sam's face.
"Carrots?!" he roared. Sam rolled his eyes at Dean's dramatics, and tried to take a step back before Dean smashed it in his face. "You got my kid CARROTS?! What kind of an uncle are you?" He immediately turned back to Natalie, who was her happy, sweet self again. "It's okay, squirt. Daddy won't let mean Uncle Sam make you eat vegetables again."
"Dean, what did you think baby food was made out of?"
"Well, you sure as hell could have picked something better than carrots to start with, you health freak."
"I got a couple different kinds. We can try something else," Sam said in an appeasing tone. Dean was on the verge of arguing, when he remembered Sam's comment about the allergies. He immediately tore over to the grocery bag full of baby food jars, and this time, started looking at the labels. He sorted through the clinking bottles for a moment before finding one that he liked.
"Alright now. This is more like it. Pie," he said happily. Sam reared back in surprise.
"What do you mean, 'pie'? They don't make pie flavored baby food," Sam said. In response, Dean held up the jar for Sam to read. Sam made a bitch face.
"Dean, that's apple. Not pie." Dean shrugged.
"Close enough," he said with a grin. He twisted the top off the second jar. He looked down at the spoon that still had some carrot mush on it. Without a second though, he flipped it into the trash.
"Dean, those can be washed-" Sam started to say, but the instant glare from his brother made him shut his mouth. Dean plucked another spoon from the package and made his way back to Natalie. He dipped the new spoon into the apple puree.
Natalie saw Daddy approaching again, but he still had the smelly thing that tasted bad in his hand. She whimpered pitifully as he extended it towards her. That whimper almost broke Dean's heart.
"Hey, it's okay, Baby Girl. See? Totally different stuff," he said gently. As if to prove it to her, he popped the spoon in his mouth quickly. Natalie tilted her head and stared at him, trying to figure out what he was doing. As the taste of the apple hit his tongue, Dean's eyebrows flew up in surprise. He turned to Sam as he pulled the spoon out of his mouth.
"You know, this stuff ain't half bad," he said, dipping the spoon in the jar and taking another lick. Sam just fixed him with a bitch face. Dean sheepishly pulled the spoon back out and scooped up a bit for the baby. He extended it towards her. She leaned back like she did the last time. However, once the scent of the sweet apple hit her nose, Natalie's eyes lit up. She looked back at Dean as if to say this better not be a joke. Dean carefully touched the spoon to her lips. Liking this smell much better, she opened up her mouth, just a little bit. Dean gently tilted the spoon so a bit of the apple got on her tongue. The sudden and enjoyable flavor in her mouth was so pleasant, she immediately opened up her mouth wider.
Dean chuckled and dipped the spoon in the food again, just a little bit. "See Natalie?" he cooed to her as he gave her a bit more. "I don't need no stinkin' DNA test to tell you're totally my kid. You went right for the pie. That's my girl."
Natalie's little tongue was working overtime, enjoying the new sensation. Her smile lit up her whole face. Dean sighed in relief, and leaned back. He looked over at Sam.
"Well. How 'bout that?" he said, grinning proudly. Sam smiled back as he pulled his phone out of his pocket.
"Here. Do another little bit. I want to get a picture," Sam said. Dean complied, and Natalie was only too happy to take another small mouthful. When she had eaten what they thought was about a teaspoon full and Sam had taken a dozen pictures, Dean twisted the cap back onto the jar, still smiling. He thrust the dirty spoon and the jar into Sam's hands.
"Here. You do the dishes," he said, grinning. Sam shook his head with a chuckle as Dean walked back over to Natalie and unfastened her from the high chair. He pulled the baby up into his strong arms. "So, kid. What do you think about your first solid food?" he asked her. Natalie wasn't paying attention to him. She was looking all around the room, as babies do. He turned back to Sam with a grin. "Eh. Jury's still out."
Sam chuckled again and washed off the spoon as Dean plopped down on the couch, turning the baby so she was sitting profile on his lap. Dean cooed and played with her for a moment, and she played back, delighted by Daddy's undivided attention.
Sam walked back to the two of them, and sat on the other end of the couch. As Dean rubbed his daughter's back, he became aware of Sam's gaze on him. He looked up to find his little brother staring at him. "What?" he said.
"Dean," Sam started, not really knowing how to ask what was bothering him. Dean waited while Sam gathered his words. "Why did you fight me so much on getting Natalie to try solid foods?"
Something in Dean's eyes shifted, but before Sam could read what it was, Dean dropped his gaze back to the beautiful baby in his lap. After a moment, Dean quietly answered.
"Because….because it was….too much for me."
"What do you mean?"
"What do I mean? I mean it was too much for me."
"Too much how?"
Dean sighed. "Look at her." He gestured to the cute pile of baby waving her arms. "She's so little and cute and crap. I mean this- this I can handle. I can mix up a bottle in like point five seconds now. I can pick her up without breaking a sweat." To demonstrate, Dean hoisted Natalie up and down a few times. Delighted with the sudden roller coaster ride, she laughed delightedly. Dean plopped her back down and pointed at her. "See? That's cute. Even I can't argue with that," he said, referring to her infectious giggle. "If I have to start doing things like feeding her solid foods and….potty training, and all that rot, then it means…..she's getting bigger," he finished quietly, almost dropping off to the point where Sam couldn't hear his voice. But Sam caught it. He suddenly understood Dean's reticence to having his daughter try solid foods.
"Dean," he said, speaking gently. "I know that kind of stuff is rough to deal with. And I can't pretend that it's the same for me to watch her get bigger as it is for you. I know it feels way different to you. But dude- do what you just told me to do."
"What do you mean?"
"Look at her," Sam instructed. Dean obeyed. At that moment, Natalie inadvertently clapped her hands together once, and let out an adorable baby squeal. Dean couldn't keep the smile from spreading across his face.
"See?" Sam said. "When she was a newborn, she couldn't do that. And you wouldn't have wanted to miss that little hand clap for the world." That gave Dean pause. He started really listening as Sam continued. "And she's gonna have so many more moments like that. Some of them are going to suck- it's true. Growing up in this life is gonna be tough. But most of those moments are going to be awesome. And you're going to want to see every one of them," Sam finished gently.
Dean snorted with a smile, but didn't say anything. He started bouncing his daughter up and down a few times. He still wasn't jazzed about the idea of Natalie getting older. She might even someday getting taller than he was- and he still wasn't over the fact that Sam was the taller of the two of them. But getting to watch her discover the world, walk, talk, all that junk….maybe it wouldn't be so bad after all. Maybe Sam was on to something. He didn't want to skip any more milestones. He wanted to see them all. And if she was anything like him- which she was already proving to be- they would all be awesome.
