Hey Beautiful SPN Family! We made it! Chapter 50 on Natalie's Birthday! WAHOO!

So April 24th has always been a very important day in my personal life for a myriad of reasons. I decided early on to give Natalie that birthday, then come to find out it's Baby's birthday too. And Eric Kripke's. So I kinda feel like I HAVE to publish something in appreciation of all that these characters and people have done for me- and that included YOU too.

I wouldn't still be here writing if it weren't for you guys. Your support, reviews, questions, and interest mean so much to me. I cannot nor will I ever be able to thank you enough. I promise to keep writing as long as you want to read- that's the best I can do for you all. Your support helps me Always Keep Fighting. And I will.

Jenmm31 has been my cheerleader since day one. I was just a huge fangirl of her work that found an amazing friend. Jenmm31- for everything, I thank you. Natalie wouldn't be here, and neither would I, if it weren't for you. Thank you my dear, dear friend.

Alright, enough sappy stuff :) I'm going to be working on a couple case stories here, as well as a couple requested one-shots, but it'll be a couple weeks- about how long I normally take to publish. If you want to read something, let me know! I'm always willing to talk about anything. Love you all, so much.

A/N- in this story, Natalie is 13. Please see profile page for disclaimer.

"Oh, SCORE!" Natalie shrieked, dumping the gift bag's contents onto her lap and examining them meticulously. Dean had gotten her every flavor of prepackaged mini Hostess pies that was available at the gas station. He had tossed in a couple extra cherry flavored ones, knowing that they were her favorite. She giggled delightedly, not even trying to hold her smile in. She did a quick count of the wrapped mini pies in her lap, and let out a bark of a laugh exactly like Dean's.

"HA! Thirteen, of course," she said, grabbing a cherry and ripping the wrapper open. She took as big of a bite as she possibly could. Dean snorted a laugh, watching her shovel in the junk food.

"Of course," he said, in reference to the number. "Not every day a kid turns thirteen- we had to celebrate in style." He gestured to the pile in her lap, then turned to Sam with a shit-eating grin. He knew he had hit this one out of the park. Sam restrained from rolling his eyes, only because it was Natalie's birthday. But he couldn't help himself when it came to commenting on the sugary gift.

"Bug, you know you can't eat them all at once- you'll get sick," he said gently, trying to make sure that he wasn't nagging. Dean had been getting on his case recently about his tendency to "over-mother" the girl, as Dean put it. Sam was just concerned that Natalie's hyper-excitement might make her sick already, then dumping about a truck load of sugar on it would make her even worse. He didn't see it as nagging or fussing- he simply saw it as taking care of his niece . However, she had way too much of her father in her to agree with him.

"I know that," she responded with a saucy grin, her mouth full. Her grin got wider when she saw Sam's bitch face at the fact that she was talking with her mouth full- a particular hot button with him. She also knew him well enough that he wouldn't scold her for it today- not on her birthday. She had no problem gloating over and exploiting that fact.

At seeing Natalie's genuine grin, both Sam and Dean's hearts turned a bit. She had been clamping down on her smile for months now. Her capture and torture at the hands of a man who thought her smile was beautiful seemed to have taken some weird psychological turn in her brain. She had been smothering and hiding her smiles ever since. Today, however, they were back with a vengeance. Dean prayed that this meant that she was over whatever it was that was keeping her from smiling. He missed her real smiles.

All that aside, the newly-turned thirteen year old continued chomping down on the cherry treat. "C'mon, Uncle Sam," she said with a mighty swallow. "I'm going to make these last as long as possible. Besides, you of all people know that I eat just as many vegetables as junk food."

"Lie," Sam said casually, pointing a finger at her. She just giggled. Ever since she started talking, Sam knew when she was lying, and had no problem calling her out on it.

"Okay, okay. I try to eat as many vegetables..."

"Lie."

She rolled her eyes good naturedly. "Okay, I at least THINK about it," she said, tilting her head at him coyingly.

"There you go," he said, dropping his finger and grinning back at her.

"At least I eat more vegetables than Dad."

Dean shook his head, and stood up from the kitchen table to go get a beer. "Yeah, I still don't know where you get that from, kiddo." He retrieved a cold one from the fridge, then walked back to his daughter, a solemn look on his face. He placed a hand on her shoulder with a very serious expression. "The fact that you actually eat and enjoy vegetables means I've failed you as a father." He shook his head dramatically. Natalie held in her snickers, knowing he wasn't done yet. He pulled his hand away from her shoulder, and put it on his chest, closing his eyes as if pained. "I'm...sorry," he whispered theatrically, then bit his knuckles and walked away, shaking his head. Natalie exploded with laughter at his dramatic turn. He plopped down in his chair and pulled the tab on his beer, his grin and the twinkle in his eye returning upon hearing her laugh.

"It's okay," Natalie said, wiping her eyes from the mirth. "You can make it up to me by getting me my own car when I turn sixteen."

"Yeah. Keep dreaming, squirt," Dean muttered low, lifting the can to his mouth. Eager to get on with the gift giving, Sam tossed her a small package. Natalie grabbed it mid air effortlessly. From the heft and the size, she knew exactly what it was. Her eyes lit up, and they flicked up to Sam's for confirmation. He just grinned back. She quickly tore off the newspaper wrapping to find one of her favorite things of all time- a book. She squealed in delight again. Sam couldn't help but remember her sixth birthday, when she squealed at the sight of the new plastic light saber he had bought her. The rush of the sweet memory made him nostalgic for when she was little. She was growing up so fast- and he wasn't taking it well. The fact that she could now reach things on the shelf that she couldn't before- that alone nearly sent him into a tailspin every time he thought about it. He wouldn't change her for the world- he just wished that he could slow time down a little. Well, I know what I'm wishing for on my birthday, he thought wryly to himself.

Natalie turned the book over in her hands to see the title. "'Memoirs of a Geisha'," she read out loud. She looked up at Sam, her eyes dancing with excitement. "I've been dying to read this!" she said enthusiastically.

"I know," Sam said, thrilled to his core that he'd gotten this one right. When she was a kid, she would just crawl on their laps and tell them exactly what she wanted, eliminating all guess work. Now that she was older and not so inclined to do that anymore, there was a certain sense of panic when it came to gift giving. She was so sweet that no matter what they would have given her, she would have been over the moon about it. But to actually hit the nail on the head and get her something that she wanted- that was a challenge that both boys sought to conquer.

"Why didn't you just read it online, like you do everything else?" Dean asked before taking another long pull of beer. Natalie looked at him as if the answer was obvious.

"Because it's just not the same as holding the book in your hands," she explained patiently, knowing that Dean didn't realize how vital reading was to her sanity. She pulled the book in tightly to her chest, her thousand watt smile going unchecked. Sam hadn't seen it in so long. He felt like he was getting his own gift in seeing it again. "Thank you so much, Uncle Sam," she said breathlessly. He just nodded back, smiling widely.

"Okay, now for the grand finale," Dean said, reaching into the paper bag on the table and producing a cellophane wrapped cupcake. Sam looked at his brother incredulously.

"Dude, you just got her thirteen mini pies, and now cake too?" he said, unable to keep his concerns to himself. Dean unwrapped the cupcake and set it down on a paper plate, then began fishing in his pocket.

"Lighten up, Sam. Besides- it's called 'birthday CAKE', not 'birthday pie'."

"Like that's ever stopped you before."

Dean ignored him. He found his flip-top Zippo in his right pocket. He gestured to his daughter to come over to the table. She promptly obeyed, giggling at the sight of the mass produced cupcake sitting on the paper plate. Dean flicked the lighter once, and it spluttered into a flame. He held it over the cupcake with a grin, making Natalie laugh again.

"Really? Couldn't find candles?" she said, not really caring about the candles. She just wanted to give him a hard time. It was a Winchester trait.

"Making do," he said, chuckling back. "Alright. You know the drill. Wish, blow. Get to it," he ordered in a teasing tone.

"Yeah- this is the part where you're supposed to sing."

"THAT'S never gonna happen. C'mon. Chop chop."

Natalie laughed. She squeezed her eyes shut, just like she used to do when she was a kid. Suddenly, Dean remembered her pitching pennies into a wishing well when she was around five. She made that exact same face then that she did now. The tidal wave of emotion rose in him as once again, he realized he no longer had a child; he now had a teenager. He clamped down on it with a vengeance. Didn't matter how old she was- she was still his. Period. That was all that was ever going to be important.

Natalie opened her eyes and blew out the lighter. It, of course, went out instantly. Dean, always the smart ass, flicked it again, the flame instantly re-igniting.

"Oh, looks like you didn't do it right. Now your wish doesn't come true. Tough luck. Maybe next year."

Natalie just laughed and slapped his hand away as he flicked the lighter shut. She grabbed the cupcake and tore it into three pieces, handing one to Sam, then the other to Dean.

"That one's just for you, kiddo. I've got two more for Sam and me," Dean said as she tried to hand him the chunk of cupcake. She pursed her lips and shook her head.

"But I want to share it! It's not fun if I don't get to share my birthday cake," she said, thrusting the piece into his hands. He shook his head. The kid was so damn sweet and loving. He had no idea where she got that from. Sam got up and went to the fridge to fetch his own beer. He made to pull the door open, but then saw the empty plastic six pack ring thrown on the counter next to the fridge. He turned to Dean, a disapproving look on his face.

"You could have at least thrown the rings away," he scolded his brother.

"Oh yeah. Sorry," Dean said, lifting the last can to his lips. His grin indicated that he wasn't sorry in the least. Sam snatched a bottle of water from the fridge instead, then plopped back down into his seat. To everyone's surprise, Dean stood up.

"I'll go make a beer run while you two girl out over that book," he said good naturedly.

"I prefer wine coolers," Natalie said with a grin.

"If that was your birthday wish, boy did you blow that one," Dean said without looking at her as he pulled his jacket on. He could hear her giggling as he exited the room. He slipped his hands into his pocket, reaching for his car keys. There was a wide grin on his face. His kid was officially thirteen- she was smiling- and he was on a beer run. Life was good. He walked next to Baby, pulling out the keys to open the door.

Just as he had that happy thought, he heard a soft footstep coming from the other side of the parking lot in front of him. He froze, but his eyes slid up, immediately scanning for any danger as his hunter's senses took over. All he saw was the darkness. The glow from the low-watt bulbs of the motel overhang illuminated the scraggly bushes placed at the end of the sidewalk- a pathetic attempt at landscaping by the motel owners, but at least they had made an effort. Dean's eyes raked the bushes, but saw nothing. He slowly reached down and unlocked the Impala, his ears straining to hear anything else.

"Dean?" a female voice said quietly, softly.

His head jerked up in surprise. Normally, if he was being attacked, the monster didn't have the decency to announce that it was there first. But he had definitely heard his name. He looked again at the bushes, and stepped back in surprise. A moment ago, no one had been there. Now suddenly, he could easily make out the silhouette of a short female. As his brain tried wildly to comprehend what he was seeing, he wondered to himself how Natalie had gotten out of the room and all the way to the end of the sidewalk without him knowing it. His logical brain was telling him that was impossible, but he was looking at the spitting image of his daughter. As she slowly and carefully walked forward, he started noticing the differences. The female was taller than Natalie. Her hair was longer. And her eyes were a warm chocolate brown. Dean's heart dropped through his feet. He knew those eyes. His lips trembled as he tried to form the name, but the air had left his lungs.

"It's me," the female said, stopping cautiously as she realized that Dean had recognized her. "Jamie."

The world came to a crashing halt. Dean had to remind himself to breath. Before he even knew what he was doing, before his barely conscious mind had registered that he had started to breathe again, he stormed over to the woman. She quickly backed up, clearly wary of the way Dean was barreling down on her. She backed up almost to the bush where she had been hiding, away from the glow of the motel's portico.

"What...the FUCK...are you doing here?" Dean said, his voice nothing but a deep growl. This was the woman who had left his daughter. The woman who had abandoned them both. Natalie's mother.

Dean hadn't seen her since the day Natalie was born. She had given them all the slip, leaving Natalie behind in the hospital room, buckled into a car seat and crying her heart out. After Jamie had taken off at the hospital, Dean and Sam had tried in vain to track her down, but had been unsuccessful. Dean's pain and hurt at Jamie's betrayal had twisted in his soul to an intense hatred of the woman he thought he would never see again- a hatred that he had buried deep in his brain, where only a few dark secrets were kept.

Jamie's eyes widened at the angry words hissed in her face. She seemed to take a deep breath and steel her own nerves. "I...I had to see...I wanted to..." She trailed off as Dean's green eyes burned a hole right through her. Her gaze slid off his furious face to the window of the room he had just exited. "Is she in there?" Jamie asked, her voice little more than a whisper.

"I repeat. What the fuck are you doing here, Jamie?" Dean said, the fury building in his voice. He was two seconds away from ripping her apart. All of the anger, the betrayal, the resentment he had kept blocked up for years broke the dais in his mind and instantly boiled to the surface. He found himself fantasizing about this woman taking one step towards his daughter, giving him an excuse to shoot her through the heart.

"I'm...sorry. I'm so sorry," Jamie said, her gaze moving back to Dean's face. "I cannot tell you how sorry I am. But Dean-"

"But nothing. Get out of here."

"Dean, that's not fair."

"FAIR? You wanna talk fair?" Dean thundered, before remembering he probably shouldn't alert anyone else to what was happening out here. He could barely stand here talking to this bitch himself- he didn't need Sam and Natalie out here too. To think of Natalie coming out here and seeing the woman who betrayed her and left her from birth- a red veil of fury slipped over Dean's already anger-blurred vision. His knuckles cracked as he balled his fists to keep himself from reaching for his gun. "You wanna talk fair?!" he spat at her in an angry hiss. "Fair is having a mother who doesn't abandon you on the fucking day you were born. Fair is being able to grow up with two parents. Fair is not having to tell your ten year old the truth about why the woman who gave birth to her isn't around. Do you have any idea how much that SUCKS? Having to tell your CHILD that her mother abandoned her? That, princess, is not fair. So you wanna talk fair?!"

Jamie shook her head, and tears began spilling down her face. "I know. I'm sorry. God, I'm so sorry. I'm messing it all up," she babbled, clearly losing control of her emotions. Dean didn't give a rat's ass. He stood like a human brick wall, not willing to let her take one step towards the room. "Fair wasn't the right word. Out of everybody, I know that I'm the last one who should be talking about the fairness of the situation..."

"Damn straight."

"But if you could just listen-"

Dean held up one large hand. "Don't even try. I'm not interested in anything you have to say."

"If you only knew why I left-"

"You know what Jamie?" Dean hissed at her, dropping his hand and stepping towards her in a menacing way. "I don't give a shit why you left. Because nothing you can say can change the fact that YOU LEFT. You left behind an innocent little girl who needed you. You left me behind, and didn't look back. And there's not a damn thing you can do or say to change that."

"I didn't have a choice, Dean!" she fired back, knowing that it was the only chance she was going to get to speak. The comment brought Dean up short.

"What do you mean, you didn't have a choice?" he spat at her. She shook her head, a determined, angry look on her face.

"I mean I didn't have a choice. I had to leave."

Dean shook his head and let out a mirthless laugh. "Screw that. I have heard that excuse enough in my life. 'I didn't have a choice, I didn't have a choice,'" he said in a mocking tone that seemed to make her wither. He fixed her again with his furiously snapping eyes. "You know what? Fuck that. Jamie, EVERYONE has a choice. You know what's sitting in there?" He pointed to the motel room window. "Team Free Will. Minus an angel. Let me tell you, sweetheart, we all have a choice. No matter what the circumstances."

Jamie's eyes got wide. She seemed to disregard the argument of Free Will, focusing on something else Dean had said. "An...angel? What angel?" she said, stammering over her words. Dean looked at her with consternation.

"Why do you care? Suddenly hanging out with angels? Demons not doing it for you anymore?" he hissed sarcastically at her. She quickly pulled herself back together and shook her head, clamping her lips closed.

"It's just...never mind," Jamie said, shaking her head. She steeled herself and spoke again. "But Dean- I couldn't stay with her. Believe me, I wanted to. I have thought about Natalie every day of her life since I...since I had to leave." Jamie stumbled over her words, the tears overflowing again at the admission of her betrayal. "It's killed me for thirteen years. I want nothing more than to see my baby, to know that she's okay, that she's happy."

"No."

Jamie stepped back, surprised. "N-no?" she squeaked out.

"That's right. No. Because you gave up that right. The moment you walked out on her, you CHOSE to live with the fact that you'll never know how she is, or if she's okay. You chose to put yourself through that hell."

"I told you, I didn't! I didn't have a choice!"

"Really? Then you explain to me what made you make that decision." Dean took a step back, spreading his arms wide. "I'm all ears. Because I know that you know what Sam and I can do. And you know damn well we would have stopped whatever it was. So let's hear it." He waited, trying to keep the anger at bay, as he watched Jamie wrestle with her thoughts. She finally closed her eyes tight. The tears on her lashes glinted in the spring chilled night.

"I...I can't tell you," she whispered, barely loud enough for Dean to hear. But he did. Unbelieving, he stepped closer to her again.

"I'm sorry, what? Because you track us down here at this motel, beg me to understand why you left our daughter, but say that you can't give me one damn reason, so I know I didn't just hear you say that you can't tell me," he spat, hoping his words would cut through her crap.

Jamie just shook her head and dropped it down. The sobs overtook her then. Dean couldn't help but feel a twinge of regret at making her cry like this, but the anger and rage quickly burned the guilt away. He stood there, his hardening heart savage and unfeeling, while she broke down.

"I'm sorry," she finally managed to stammer out. "I will never be able to say it enough. And maybe one day, I can tell you why I did it." Dean just snorted and looked away. Like he ever planned on letting this bitch get near his daughter again. That brought a new question to his mind.

"How did you find us?" he said, low. "I want to make sure you can't again." The words acted like a stimulant in Jamie. She straightened up, and glared back at him. Dean suddenly recognized the fire in her face- it was the same look that Natalie got when she was determined to do something. The realization of that hit him like a ton of bricks. No matter what he was feeling- this woman was part of who Natalie was, even if it was only on a molecular level. He took a breath, but it did nothing to relieve his anger. Fine. I fake my way through the rest of this, he thought bitterly to himself. Do what you have to in order to get the information you need, and then get rid of this bitch.

Oblivious to Dean's revelations, Jamie flipped her long black hair behind her back. "I have my ways," she answered evasively. Dean's eyes narrowed.

"Did you make some deal with those demons that were chasing you? Because if you did, I swear to God I'm not helping you out of any contract or deal that you made, sweetheart," Dean growled, the threat overriding the sentiment.

"I didn't make any deal. I'm smarter than that."

"But not smart enough to stay with your own child. Or to stay away from me after abandoning that child. Good call."

Jamie just bit her lip to keep the sarcastic rebuttal from pouring out. Baiting Dean and rising to his quips was getting her nowhere. "You're totally safe. No one knows where I am. Hell, no one even knows I'm looking for her. There would be hell to pay if they did," Jamie said quickly, without thinking.

At that, Dean couldn't take it anymore. "Okay, who is this 'They' you keep referring to? Is someone after Natalie?" Dean stormed right up to Jamie, towering over her intimidatingly. "Because if they are and you don't tell me, I swear I will-"

"NO! No, it's nothing like that." She held up her hands, placating. "I- know you're not going to like this, but I can't tell you why."

"Shocker."

"But I can tell you that I'm still not supposed to see her or be here."

"Then why the hell ARE you here?"

The stillness hung in between them like a painful barrier. Dean watched as Jamie swallowed, then opened her mouth. She quickly snapped it shut again and looked away. Finally, when she had composed herself enough to speak, she opened her mouth again.

"Because I couldn't take it any longer," she said simply, the tears pouring down her face once again. "I couldn't take not knowing. I always knew that she would be loved and safe with you and Sam, but I...I don't know her at all. I don't even know what my own daughter likes- what she might have wanted for her birthday. I don't know if she has friends, or if she's...I don't know...allergic to peanuts, or anything." Unable to say anything more without breaking down completely, she looked down and tried to catch her breath. Dean's heart froze in his chest. He couldn't imagine not knowing every little detail about his daughter's life. One miniscule portion of his heart thawed a bit as he watched Natalie's mother sob at the admission that she knew nothing about her own child. Before he could say anything, she spoke up again in a tiny voice.

"Dean- I've forgotten what color eyes she has," she said, losing it completely. Her hands covered her face as she broke into sobs again.

"Green."

The word was out of his mouth before he could stop it. Damn that tiny thawed section of his heart- it had spoken for him. Jamie's head snapped up. Her breath caught as she tried to quell her sobs. "G-green?" she whispered, as if saying it in a normal voice was going to diminish the knowledge. Dean's eyes fixated on the street lamp across the road, unable to make eye contact with her.

"Yeah, green. Like mine," he muttered, putting a subtle emphasis on the word 'mine'.The uncomfortable silence settled between them again. Dean tried to focus on the glow of the street light as a means of distraction, but the silence became too deafening. His eyes flicked back to her. She was gulping, and wiping the tears away from her face with her thumbs. When she noticed that he was looking at her, she gave him a wobbly smile.

"Thank you," she whispered. Dean just gave her a short jerk of his head, acknowledging that he accepted her thanks. Jamie began wringing her hands together.

"Look," she said, in a tight voice. "I know I'm pushing my luck here, but I will regret it forever if I don't ask. And I've already got enough to regret forever. Is she-"

Dean looked Jamie right in the eye. "She's amazing," he said in a quiet voice, knowing what Jamie was going to ask. Jamie could hear the reverence in his tone. And that told her all that she needed to know. She knew from the moment she had met him all those years ago that Dean would never have abandoned his own child, but with those two simple words, she realized how protected, safe, and loved her little girl was- and always would be. For the moment, that was enough.

"I'm glad to hear it," Jamie said, the relief and joy present in her own soft tones. She pinched her eyes shut tight, but said the words that she needed to say. "I know you don't want me here, and I know that I have no right to see Natalie." At the mention of their daughter's name, the tears overflowed from her eyes again. But she paid them no mind- they didn't seem to pain her any longer. "I won't bother you again. I promise," Jamie said quietly. Dean inhaled fully, tilting his head back slightly. He still didn't trust her as far as he could throw her, but at least she was saying words that he wanted to hear. "I'm sorry. To both her- and you," she said honestly, looking him in the eye. Dean nodded once, but didn't say anything. She turned and walked into the darkness. Dean watched her as long as he could take it, then he swallowed the massive lump in his throat and looked down at the gritty black pavement, trying to collect his scattered thoughts. He raised his head again, but Jamie was nowhere in sight. Dean quickly scanned the entire area, but there was no trace that anyone had been there a moment ago. His hunter's hearing picked up on crunching gravel further down the block- she must have walked out of sight. She had done it again. She had left her daughter. But this time didn't feel sinister. He didn't know what to feel.

Dean spun on his heel and walked straight back to the motel room. All ideas of making a beer run were forgotten. He unlocked the door and threw it open with more force than he intended, causing both Sam and Natalie to jump a mile at the sudden crashing sound.

"Back so soon?" Sam said, a bit wide eyed at Dean's sudden reappearance.

"I hope you got the good wine coolers," Natalie said, the twinkle in her eye spreading to her voice. Dean's intense green eyes zeroed in on her face. She grinned that grin at him that always made his heart stop. "Because if you didn't, then-" She didn't get to finish her sentence. In three strong, commanding steps, Dean had raced over to her, yanked her up off the couch, and crushed her into his chest. She cut off her words in surprise. Normally, Dean wasn't touchy feely with her. Of course he hugged her, but he was more inclined to turn a hug into a wrestling match than a tender moment. But this time, he just held her. Natalie had no idea why, but she could sense the desperation and the pain radiating from her father like it was her own. She didn't know what happened, but she didn't need to. She didn't ask questions or make any smart remarks- she just held him too, squeezing him tighter when he buried his face in her hair. She wasn't letting go.

Dean never told Sam or Natalie what happened that night.