Part 70

"Goodness, this is not a contest, Oksana." Gail thought she had never met anyone so stubborn in her entire life. "Think of it as a different relationship. Apples and oranges. Different things. Father and son. Mother and son. Impossible to compare. I'm happy Zander is getting along with his father, if he wasn't, he'd be involved in more conflict. Let's deal with you and Zander."

"I don't see why there's a conflict with me and not with his father."

"It's not a negative judgment on you, Oksana. There are different circumstances."

"OK. But I still have to watch out – Peter is still a minor, and I have custody, and I don't know their father any more. I don't know what he will do. Sander can trust him if he wants, but I don't know if Sander is right to."

"That's true. That's a good point. You're older and wiser. You have known their father longer than they have. Why do you trust him, Zander?"

"I wanted Pete to be able to come to the race - his friends would be there. But I wanted Dad to be there, too. I asked Dad not to come, because I knew they couldn't both go. Dad said he would stay away – which he did."

"Next time he might not. He got you to trust him," Oksana said. "Next time, you think he will do the same, and he might not."

"Why does it have to be taken for granted that Dad will do the same thing he went to jail for? Isn't that like saying the legal system, the legal punishment does no good at all? So sentence him to jail until his youngest child turns 18, then. Imprison anybody who commits any crime for life. Dad hasn't seen Pete in years, except that minute in the hospital. It seems rather hard on Pete. He hasn't seen his own father in years and now Dad paid the price, but it's still like we have to talk about separating Pete from his own father like his father was the most dangerous monster, and to the last person on earth he would really hurt."

"It would not be that way for your father if he just didn't kidnap both of you."

"So that was why he was in jail. Now he's out. Pete doesn't have a problem with Dad. Maybe the law does. Maybe you do. Why does Pete have to pay that price?"

It was silent a minute. Gail thought she'd wait it out just a little.

It worked.

"Wasn't it hard on me those years you were in Moscow?" Oksana asked Zander.

"Yes."

"Wasn't it hard Peter?"

"Yes."

"Wasn't it hard on you?"

"Yes. But Dad went to jail for it. And before he took us there it was harder. You know there's a reason he took us there."

"There is no excuse for his doing that! It was illegal! That's why they have jail!"

"But you are totally innocent!" Zander declared sarcastically.

"By the laws I was. Your father couldn't just take you all the way over there!"

"Couldn't you just work out a visitation and stick to it?"

"We did! He kept going against it!"

"Come on, we still came home. Did you have to go to court every time he was late?"

"Late. Like the next day. That's more than late. It is simple to you. But was harder for me."

"How simple is it to me? When I was 13 you expected me to handle it."

"How did I do that?"

"You said I should have known that Dad was up to something, because I only had a Russian passport."

"I'm sorry, I was mad at him, I guess."

"So why were you yelling at me?"

"You remember what I yelled at you for so long ago?"

"It was kind of major to me at the time."

"Well, I'm so sorry!"

"Oh, don't play the martyr with me anymore. It doesn't work now. Oh, poor Oksana! That 13 year old kid screwed up with the passport, and that caused me all this headache, and getting him out of the country later was a headache, I merely mentioned his stupid 13 year old mistakes to him when he was 16, gee, who could get mad about that? And he's still mad 4 years later! Poor, poor Oksana."

"Stop calling me that. But you stay stuck in the past."

"That's because it's still there, Oksana. You want to pretend it never happened."

"What do you want me to do?"

"I don't know. Why do I have to have all the answers before I can mention the problem?

"Tell me something I can do."

"Why do you have to do something?"

Gail decided to stop this train. "Oksana, you don't have to do something specific right now. Just acknowledge what happened."

"But of course," she said. "I don't say it did not happen. But what does it do to mention it again?"

"You can go on from there, that's all," Gail said. "Let your son have a say."

"How do I make this up to him that I yelled at him four years ago?"

"It's not a business deal!" Gail exclaimed. "Just listen, and that will do it! You don't even have to agree with him. Just listen, and try not to judge his feelings, as you would have done for yourself. Especially his feelings at age 13. Or 16, or whatever it was," she said, almost laughing. These two were a doozey, indeed.

"OK, I have something," Zander said.

"Something, what?" Oksana asked, still looking at Gail.

"Something you can do," Zander said.

"I have got to hear this," Gail said. "What could it be?"

"Take me to see your parents," Zander said to Oksana. "Your brothers and the rest."

Oksana looked stunned. "Of course," she said.

Gail turned this over in her mind. "A good idea," she said, finally. "Very good idea. So few people grow up without at least seeing their parent as someone else's child, sibling. Where they came from. That's going to help him understand you somewhat better, I think, Oksana."

"OK," Oksana said to Gail, and to Zander, "if you would have just said, I would have done that before."

"Somehow I thought of it now," he said. "I don't know where it came from. But I really do want to go and see them."