Chapter 4

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January 20th 1984

It has been two months since Remus was forced to leave Hermione while she was sick because it is the full moon, and with both the full moons that have occurred since then Remus has found it even harder to leave Hermione.

It has been two days since the full moon and as it is still earlier Remus is still sleeping, when he feels someone shaking him awake.

"Papa." Hermione says, shaking him awake, "Papa, wake up."

"Hermione, what's wrong?" Remus asks concerned feeling wide awake from the second he heard his daughter's voice.

"It's snowing again Papa!" Hermione says excited, "You said we'd play in the next snow."

"Yes, I did say that." Remus confirms, "But not at seven am." He says, noticing the time.

"Please Papa." Hermione says, "Can we please play?" she asks, giving her father her best pleading look.

"Breakfast first and then we'll play for a little while before heading to the bookshop." Remus explains to his daughter, "Does that sound okay to you?"

"Yes." Hermione says, nodding, "But you have to get up." Hermione informs him.

"I know." Remus says, throwing off his blanket and standing up.


Half an hour later Hermione and Remus are both out in the back yard playing in the snow.

"Would you like to make a snow person Hermione?" Remus asks his daughter.

"SNOW BALLS." Hermione yells.

"You want to make snowballs?" Remus asks his daughter.

"Yes!" Hermione says with a grin.

"Okay." Remus says, smiling back at his daughter, "Snowballs are very simple to make." Remus says, picking up a handful of snow, "You just pick up snow and use your hands to make it into the shape you want." Remus explains, demonstrating how to do that.

"Okay." Hermione says and she does as her father explained and creates the snowball, "What next?" Hermione asks once she has created the snow ball.

"Well that depends." Remus answers, "Some people throw them, or…." Remus starts to say but before he can say anymore he finds himself getting hit with a snowball.

"Like that?" Hermione asks with an innocent grin, a grin that Remus knows Sirius would be very proud of.

"Yeah, like that." Remus says, returning the grin, "But you've can't just throw snowballs at anyone, Hermione. You have to be playing a game together, and even then you never try to hurt someone." He tells her, being able to practically hear James and Sirisus's voices in his head who used to say something very different.

"Okay." Hermione answers, "Can we play more or do we have to go to the bookshop?" She asks curious.

"We can play a little more." Remus answers.

"Yay." Hermione says and she picks up more snow and together she and Remus play in the snow together until they have to go to the bookshop.


May 24th 1984

Four months have passed since Hermione and Remus played in the snow together and in that time Remus has noticed that Hermione learns skills very quickly then her skills advance very quickly. Seeing that makes Remus very proud of his little girl and it also makes him feel that she is going to go very well once she starts at a muggle school in September.

It is a Thursday night and Remus is sitting by the fire working on his budget for the next few months, a budget that is going to have to including buying Hermione everything she needs for school. As the fire springs to life Remus doesn't even look up as he was expecting his visitor.

"Remus." Albus greats as he steps out of the fire.

"Albus." Remus responds, "Would you like something to drink? I have tea and whiskey."

"I think I will have some whiskey." Albus comments, and Remus pours him a glass, "Is everything okay, Remus?" Albus answers as he notices the frown on Remus's face as Remus hands him over the glass.

"Yes, I'm just having some difficulties working out my budget for the next few months." Remus explains to Albus.

"Oh, I see." Albus answers, recognizing the problem, as he walks over and sits across from Remus.

"Yeah, I'll make it work though." Remus says, knowing that he will figure it out, even if it means sacrificing things for himself so that Hermione has them, "Chess?" Remus asks Albus as he closes the book he is working out of, it being clear that he doesn't want to talk about his money problems.

"Yes." Albus confirms and Remus moves a nearby table that has a chest board on it so that it is between them, "How's the bookshop going?" he asks as the two of them set up the board playing the game that they play at least twice a week.

"Good, business has been up for the last week." Remus explains to Albus.

"I'm glad to hear that." Albus answers as he makes his first move.

"How's Hogwarts?" Remus asks curious as he thinks for a minute before making his move.

"The same. My current defence professor informed me that she will not be returning next year." Albus reveals, "Though that isn't really a surprise." He admits.

"You do seem to go through Defence Professors a lot." Remus notes.

"That I do." Albus confirms and the two of them continue to play chess while talking, giving each other a kind ear to listen to whatever they want to talk about, without judgement.


September 3rd 1984

Four months later Remus prediction of needing to sacrifice some things to be able to afford all of his experiences came true, because of that Remus made himself go without some things while making sure that Hermione had everything she needed and doing his best to assure that Hermione didn't realise that that's what he was doing.

It's about five am when Remus feels himself being shaken awake,

"Papa, wake up! Papa wake up." Hermione says, shaking her father awake.

"Hermione?" Remus asks, turning on the light and seeing his daughter already dressed in her school uniform, "Why are you up so early?"

"It's school Papa! I start school today!" Hermione says, sounding excited.

"Yes, you do; but Hermione it's five am. We don't have to leave until eight." Remus tells Hermione.

"I want to be early! It's the first day of school Papa." Hermione tells him.

"I know that, but not this early. The school isn't even open yet." Remus tells his daughter, "How about you lay here for a little while." Remus suggests.

"Okay." Hermione says and she climbs into bed next to her father.

"What are you most looking forward to at school?" Remus asks his daughter curious.

"Learning." Hermione says excitedly, "I'm really looking forward to learning new things." Hermione says with a smile, "Did you like school Papa?"

"Once I started Hogwarts I did." Remus says as his parents kept him pretty isolated as a child so he didn't really get to enjoy primary school.

"I hope I enjoy Hogwarts when I go too." Hermione says with a smile.

"I'm sure you will." Remus tells his daughter, "But Hermione, remember that you can't tell anyone at school about Hogwarts or magic."

"I know, I won't, Papa. I know it's important, I won't say anything." Hermione assures her father as not only has she talked about that with her Papa, but with Albus and Minerva too.

"That's my girl." Remus says placing a kiss on Hermione's head.

"Papa, what do I say if people ask about you and Daddy about why I don't have a Mum?" Hermione asks curious.

"You just say that you don't have a Mum." Remus says, telling his daughter the explanation he's been thinking about for a long time, "You say that you just have a Papa, just have me."

"What about Daddy?" Hermione asks.

"It might be best that you don't mention your Daddy." Remus admits, not sure whether that is fair to Hermione but knowing that it's probably the best cause of action, "There are people who don't think that two men together is right. They will have problems with you having a Dad and Papa, and treat you badly because of that." Remus says as he knows that's how it is in the Muggle world; the wizarding world on the other hand is different.

"That's silly." Hermione comments.

"Yeah, it really is." Remus confirms, "Some people just don't understand people who are different from them." Remus explains, trying to explain predigest in the simplest way possible.

"That's stupid." Hermione once more says.

"Yeah, it is." Remus once more confirms, "Everyone is different in some way Hermione, and the right thing to do is to accept people for those differences, not judge, or hate or hurt people because of them." Remus tells his daughter.

"I won't, I promise Papa." Hermione tells her father.

"I'm very proud of you for saying that, Hermione." Remus tells his daughter, "Why don't you try and get a little more sleep."

"I'm too excited to sleep, Papa." Hermione says.

"Just try." Remus tells his daughter.

"Okay." Hermione says and she closes her eyes, trying to get some sleep even though she is very excited to start school.


About three hours later Remus and Hermione are arriving at the primary school that Hermione is going to be going to Hermione has her new schoolbag on her back, her curly hair tied back, and is holding Remus's hand.

"It looks so big." Hermione says, looking amazed.

"Yeah, it does, but wait until you see Hogwarts." Remus tells his daughter.

"It's going to be amazing." Hermione says to her Papa, "Let's find my class Papa, let's find it." Hermione says pulling on his arm.

"Yeah, let's." Remus says with a smile as he lets his daughter pull him along, smiling at how happy his daughter is.

For the next couple of minutes Remus and Hermione walk through the school yard, Hermione looking at everything with wide eyes and a look of amazement on her face, it being clear that she is excited.

"Papa, there is a library." Hermione says with a grin

"Yeah, there is." Remus confirms, "And look, I believe that this is your classroom here, right next to the library." Remus tells his daughter.

"That's soo cool!" Hermione says with a grin.

"Yeah, it is." Remus says.

"Hello." A voice says and Remus turns to a woman in her thirties with greying hair that Remus knows to be Hermione's new teacher.

"Hello." Remus and Hermione both say.

"I'm Miss Gabby and you would be?" Gabby asks Hermione.

"Hermione Lupin-Black." Hermione answers, "And this is my Papa."

"Well hello, Hermione, it's nice to meet you, and…"

"Remus." Remus supplies.

"Remus." Gabby says, "It's nice to meet you both." Gabby says.

"It's nice to meet you too." Remus says.

"Well, Hermione, there are other students already here. Why don't you go and play with them?" Gabby tells Hermione, "And Remus we usually think that it's best that parents leave soon, it makes the transition easier." Gabby explains.

"Oh, really?" Remus asks, not sure if he's ready to leave Hermione.

"Yes, take a few minutes." Gabby says before heading into the classroom.

"I'll be fine Papa; I'm going to learn!" Hermione tells her father.

"Oh, I'm sure you will be." Remus says as he kneels down in front of Hermione, "I'm just not sure that I'll be fine." Remus admits.

"You will be." Hermione says in her matter of fact tone.

"I want you to have a good day Hermione, I want you to learn a lot and have fun and try to make friends." Remus explains to his daughter, pushing his own feelings down.

"I will, Papa." Hermione says, stepping forwards and putting her arms around her father, "I love you, Papa."

"I love you too, Hermione, so much." Remus tells her, hugging his daughter tightly.

"Papa, you've got to let me go." Hermione says, a few minutes later when her father hasn't let her go.

"I know." Remus says, though that's the last thing he want to do. Knowing that he has to Remus lets go of his daughters, trying to force the tears that are coming to his eyes not to fall, "Have a great day at school, Hermione."

"I will." Hermione tells him, "Bye bye, Papa." Hermione says before running into the class room.

As he watches his daughter run into her class Remus finds himself being amazed with how grown up she now seems, how that makes him feel both happy and sad, and that he can feel the huge gap where Sirius should be, because he should be. Sirius should be standing right next to him watching Hermione run into the classroom, they should both be amazed as they watch their daughter, they should be sharing their pride and helping each other get through this hard but amazing day, but they're not, Sirius isn't by his side, he's alone.

For a few minutes Remus watches his daughter before forcing himself to turn around and walk away, knowing that he won't be able to focus on anything other than his daughter.


Just like he expected Remus couldn't focus on anything other than his daughter all day and as such he is pretty sure that his work at the bookshop suffered.

All day Remus felt that time was passing slower than normal, in fact more than once he almost pulled out his wand to make sure that the clock was working. So, when the time finally came for Remus to head to the school to pick up Hermione it felt long overdue.

As he stands with the other parents waiting for their children outside Hermione's classrooms, Remus realises that he is going to learn how to interact with other adults who don't know the truth about everything.

As the bell rings and the students run out of the room Remus looks through the see of students, looking for one in particular and after about a minute Remus sees her, the curly brown hair of his daughter.

"HERMIONE." Remus calls.

"PAPA." Hermione yells and she runs forward, and hugs her father. As she does Remus picks her up, "I'm so happy to see you." Hermione tells her father.

"I'm happy to see you too." Remus tells his daughter, "Did you have a good day?" Remus asks his daughter as they walk away from the classroom and Hermione shrugs, "What's wrong, Mione?"

"I don't think anyone likes me." Hermione answers, looking sad, "The lessons were good and I answered a lot of questions, but I don't think everyone like that. No one wanted to play with me at lunch." Hermione says, looking sad.

"Oh Hermione, I'm so sorry." Remus tells his daughter, "Sometimes it takes a while to make friends." Remus says as he and Hermione walk, it being the only reassuring thing that Remus can think to say as he hates that Hermione didn't find making friends easier.

"Did it take you a while to make friends?" Hermione asks her father curious.

"Yeah, it did." Remus tells his daughter, "it was months before I made friends with your Dad, Uncle James and Peter." Remus reveals.

"Really?" Hermione asks, sounding amazed by that.

"Really." Remus confirms, "Keep trying to make friends, Hermione, let people see the amazing person you are, but if anyone is mean to you, or make you feel bad I want you to tell me that right away, okay?" Remus asks as he wants to help his daughter but at the same time he is pretty sure that making friends is going to be something that Hermione is going to have to do on her own.

"Okay, Papa." Hermione answers.

"Do you want to tell me about your lessons?" Remus asks his daughter, wanting to see her happy and figuring that talking about her lessons will help.

"Yes!" Hermione says excitedly and Hermione begins to explain all about her lessons.


November 16th 1984

It has been two months since Hermione started school and even though Hermione is really enjoying her lessons she hasn't made any friends and Remus hates that because he knows that it is hard on her.

It is a Friday night and Remus and Minerva are in the living area at Remus and Hermione's place playing chess.

"Are you okay Remus?" Minerva asks concerned.

"Huh, why do you ask?" Remus asks, looking up, admittedly a little distracted.

"You've been distracted all evenings and you're making mistakes that you haven't made since we first started playing chess." Minerva explains, "What's wrong?" she asks, truly concerned.

"Hermione's still not making friends at school." Remus explains, "It's hurting her, and I don't know how to help." Remus admits, "I don't know whether it's because she's smart, or because she's keeping secrets, or because she hasn't really been around many other kids. All I know is that she's not making friends and that's hurting her, which I hate so much." Remus explains to his friend, pain in his voice.

"Have you thought about having Hermione spend time with other magical kids?" Minerva asks, thinking that it might be easier on the young girl if she can spend time with kids who she doesn't have to keep major secrets from.

"Yes, but she's the daughter of Sirius Black. I don't see anyone, even among The Order, that will want their children to spend time with her." Remus explains, sadness in his voice, wanting to protect Hermione from people's reactions to her being Sirius's Black's daughter which is one reason while Remus has chosen to raise Hermione in the muggle world.

"Some won't want that." Minerva says, saying what they are both thinking, "But Augusta Longbottom and I have tea quiet often and she's asked about you, and Hermione." She reveals.

"She has?" Remus asks surprised, as he knows Augusta pretty well as after school he, Frank, and Alice spent a lot of time together and towards the end of his pregnancy he actually a lot of time at the Longbottom mansion as it was a safe place and the last place people would look for him.

"She has." Minerva confirms, "What Sirius did isn't your fault, Remus and especially isn't Hermione's. You're both innocent, you're more victims of his, Augusta believed that." She reveals, and honestly Remus isn't too sure how he feels being describe as a victims of Sirius's, "As you know her Grandson Neville is a little younger than Hermione and on Albus's suggestion Augusta has kept him pretty secluded and she is beginning to feel that that is a mistake." She explains, "I think having Neville and Hermione spend some time together could be a good idea, I can ask her if you want." Minerva suggests.

"I think that might be a good idea." Remus says, thinking that it could be good for Hermione, "Have you seen Alice and Frank?" Remus asks curious.

"Once. I'll never forget the sight." Minerva confirms, sadness in her voice, and the two of them drift into a sad silence.


Two Days Later

It has been two days since Remus and Minerva's conversation about Hermione, Neville and Sirius and since then Minerva has talked to Augusta Longbottom who has invited Hermione and Remus over to the Longbottom mansion for Sunday dinner, a dinner that Minerva and her husband are going to be joining in on.

"I'm going to hold you while we floo Hermione and I want you to face towards my chest and keep your eyes close, can you do that?" Remus asks his daughter.

"Yes, Papa." Hermione answers.

"Good." Remus says, "We should go." Remus tells his daughter, picking her up, once Remus is holding his daughter tightly he throws floo powder into the fireplace and then steps into the fireplace, "Longbottom Mansion." Remus says once he and Hermione are inside.

As they travel through the fireplace Remus holds his daughter tightly and Hermione holds her father for dear life as it is rather scary for her.

"It's okay Hermione, you can open your eyes." Remus tells his daughter as he steps out of the fireplace at the Longbottom Mansion.

"That was scary." Hermione tells her father, "And strange." She adds.

"Yeah, it is." Remus confirms, "Augusta, it's good to see you again." He says to the woman who is waiting by the fire with a young boy next to him.

"You to, Remus." Augusta says with a smile, it being clear that she means that.

"And you must be Neville. It's good to see you again." Remus says to the young boy.

"Neville, say hello to Remus." Augusta says when Neville doesn't say anything to Remus.

"Hi." Neville says, sounding nervous.

"Hermione I would like you to meet Augusta Longbottom and her Grandson Neville." Remus says as he puts Hermione down on the ground.

"Hi." Hermione says, sounding just as nervous as Neville, "It's nice to meet you both."

"Neville why don't you show Hermione your room while Remus and I talk." Augusta suggests.

"Okay." Neville says.

"It's okay, go with Neville." Remus tells Hermione with a reassuring tone of voice.

"Okay." Hermione says before following Neville out of the room.

"I mean what I said, it's good to see you." Augusta tells Remus.

"I meant it too." Remus responds.

"Does Hermione know about…." Augusta starts to ask.

"No." Remus says, knowing exactly what she is going to ask, "I will tell her, but not until she is an older, until she can understand, as much as it's possible to understand anyway." He explains, "Does Neville understand what happened to Frank and Alice?"

"I take him to visit them, but I don't think he understands." Augusta explains, "I'll tell him one day too." She explains and both of them drift into silence, both of them thinking about the painful secrets that they are keeping that they will one day have to tell.


Upstairs both Hermione and Neville are standing awkwardly in Neville's room, neither sure what to say or act as neither are really sure how to make friends.

"They look like interesting plant." Hermione comments, pointing to a plant that is on the windowsill "What is it?"

"it's Wild Rice, my grandmother helped me tamed it." Neville explains with a proud smile.

"Oh, that's fascinating." Hermione says smiling, "How'd she do that?" Hermione asks and Neville starts to explain, causing both all the nervousness to be gone from both children and Neville and Hermione to talk happily.


It has been half an hour since Hermione and Remus arrived at the Longbottom mansion and after having some tea together Augusta and Remus feel that they better go check on Hermione and Neville.

To their surprise when Augusta and Remus walk into Neville's room they find the two children happily playing with Gobstones and talking.

"Are you two having fun?" Remus asks as he walks over to the two children.

"Yes!" Neville and Hermione both say as Remus squats down next to them.

"I'm playing just like you taught me Papa, but Neville is good, and that makes it fun." Hermione informs her Papa.

"That's good Hermione, I'm glad." Remus tells his daughter.

"Hermione's good too." Neville says.

"Well I'm glad you two are having so much fun. Dinner will be ready in about half an hour. Do you both want to continue to play until then?" Augusta asks.

"YES!" Neville and Hermione say together.

"Okay, we'll let you play." Remus says, walking back over to Augusta.

"This was a really good idea." Augusta says in a quiet voice once Remus is close enough, "I haven't seen Neville this happy in a long time."

"Yeah, it was a good idea." Remus says, smiling at how happy his daughter is.


Many hours later Remus is putting Hermione to bed, having returned about an an hour early from the Longbottom's.

"Papa, can I see Neville again?" Hermione asks as Remus tucks her into bed.

"Do you want to?" Remus asks curious.

"Yes! He's nice and knows a lot about plants, and fun, and, knows about magic, and…." Hermione says babbling both quickly and excitedly.

"Slow down, Hermione. You need to talk a little slower if you want me to understand you." Remus explains to his daughter, "And I'm sure that I can work out times with Neville's grandmother where you can see him again."

"Yay! I'd like that." Hermione tells her daughter, "I had fun today." She tells her father.

"I'm glad, but now you've got to get some sleep." Remus tells his daughter, "What book do you want us to read tonight?" he asks curious.

"The new one, Charlie and The Chocolate Factory." Hermione tells his father.

"Okay. I'll get it." Remus says and he goes and gets the book and walks back over to Hermione where he sits down next to Hermione. Once he is sitting next to his daughter Remus begins to read to his daughter, who lays herself on him and Remus reads to her until Hermione falls asleep.


May 18th 1985

It has been six months since Neville and Hermione met for the first time and ever since then both of them have become fast friends, something which both Remus and Augusta are happy about as they both feel that the two of them could use a friend, a friend who even if neither child know yet have suffered a lot.

It is a Saturday morning and Remus is getting ready for a solemn occasion while Hermione is sitting on Remus's bed watching her father.

"I don't understand, I thought you were going to take Neville and I to the adventure park today." Hermione says to her father, sounding disappointed.

"I know, I know that you're disappointed, but we can't do that today." Remus says, as he fixes his lest shabbiest robes and walks over to Hermione.

"But why?" Hermione asks, as Remus sits down next to her, "What is a funeral?" she asks as even though people in her life have died she hasn't experience a funeral.

"A funeral is a way to celebrate the life of a person who died." Remus explains as he puts his arm around his daughter, "It's something really sad but also a celebration." He explains.

"Why do people die, Papa?" Hermione asks and honestly even though he has had hard questions from his daughter Remus is pretty sure that this is one of the hardest things she has ever asked him.

"All different reasons, or even sometimes there is no reason at all." Remus explains to his daughter, not really sure whether that is really an answer.

"That's not fair, people shouldn't die." Hermione tells Remus.

"No, they shouldn't." Remus confirms

"Is there a reason Elphinstone died?" Hermione asks as Minerva's husband recently died in an accident.

"It was an accident. Sometimes accidents happen and it doesn't make any sense and it hurts, and you never get to say goodbye, but that's part of what you can do at a funeral, say goodbye." Remus explains to his daughter.

"Can I come to the funeral? I'd like to say goodbye." Hermione admits.

"I don't think that's a good idea." Remus admits, as he thinks a funeral will be too much for his daughter, "Emma and Dan are going to look after you and Neville while Augusta and I go to the funeral with Minnie." Remus explains to his daughter, "But you can say goodbye in another way." Remus tells his daughter, "If you could say something to Elphinstone what would you say?"

"Um, I'll miss him." Hermione admits, "And I'd want him to say hello to Uncle James, and Aunt Lily, and Pete for me." Hermione says, causing Remus to squeeze her shoulder, "And I'm going to miss playing chase with him." Hermione explains, "Can he hear me?" Hermione asks, looking up at her father.

"Maybe, I like to think that people who died can." Remus admits, as more than once he's found himself saying things that he wants James, Lily and Peter to know, as well as his parents.

"Can you tell me a story Papa?" Hermione asks curious.

"What kind of story?" Remus asks, wondering why the change of subject.

"One about Aunt Lily, and Uncle James, and Pete." Hermione says to Remus.

"I can do that." Remus says with a small, and sad, smile, and he starts to tell his daughter, who is completely fascinated, one of the stores of the stories involving the Marauders and Lily where they did something not overly dangerous or reckless, a story that, by no coincident, doesn't involve Sirius all that much, not that Hermione minds as Remus talks about Sirius quiet often, even though it hurts him, and right now she really wants to hear about her godparents and Peter. So, she doesn't notice that her Dad isn't mentioned much.