Bloody squirrel. Neji eyed Sakura's pet again as it sat on her sofa chewing a cushion's tassel. Bloody Sakura. Why she had decided he was the most plausible person to baby-sit it was beyond him. He could be training or intimidating Hinata right now and instead he was stuck eating Sakura's mochi and watching a rodent eat the décor. He threw a book in its general direction and made his way back to the fridge. Sakura had been kind enough to leave suitably sized meals in there for him. At least, he assumed they were for him as he rummaged through it. He paused mid-reach as he heard the door being un-locked. She was home early.
He activated his Byakugan and was able to corner the intruder in a matter of seconds.
"Naruto."
"Neji?"
"What are you doing here? How did you get in?" He leered at him wondering if every man in Konoha had a key to his partner's apartment.
"I stole a key of Sakura ages ago and I wanted to ask her...WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?"
"Looking after her squirrel." Naruto narrowed his eyes as he processed the reply.
"Why?"
"Because it needs looking after apparently."
"Yes...But why you?"
"Because she asked me."
"Why?"
"That's a question for her idiot." It was lucky Naruto wasn't bright enough at present to realize that Neji's belongings were strewn about the place and that he was using one of Sakura's hot pink hair ties.
"Right...What are you eating?" Neji looked down at his hand as Naruto almost sniffed the air eagerly.
"Mochi."
"Sakura's mochi?" Naruto seemed to pale slightly before he smiled.
"Yes." Naruto looked at him for a long time.
"Sakura's mochi as in she made it?"
"Yes." Neji watched him half expecting to see his eyes turning like cogs.
"YOU TWO ARE TOGETHER!"
"What brings you to that conclusion?" Naruto was flitting around the room like a bright yellow insect before he collapsed onto the sofa next to Pinky.
"No one eats Sakura's mochi."
"I am."
"No one except for her, and Sasuke. She always made it for him." Naruto looked uncharacteristically solemn for a moment.
"Oh." He took another casual bite.
"So if she makes it for you..." He stood up again and began exerting unnatural amounts of energy as he raced around in circles in a most peculiarly Lee like manner. He hit the table and skidded to a halt. "What were you guys up to on that mission?" Neji raised his eyebrows at him.
"Sakura is not here so I would suggest you leave."
"Neji!" Naruto ran up and punched him in what appeared to be an attempt of an affectionate gesture. "I didn't know you had it in you! Good work!" That man had to get his mind out of the gutter or it would be trapped there permanently.
"As it appears to be beyond your comprehension, I shall spell it out to you. Leave now." Naruto looked scandalized then grinned at him.
"Sure..." He sidled towards the door still grinning. Neji didn't like it. "I have such exciting news to tell everyone." Neji was in front of the door before Naruto could blink.
"On the chair." He pointed towards the squirrel occupied sofa.
"And?" Damn. Wasn't the fox boy supposed to be incredibly dumb?
"I will bring you some tea."
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Sakura hummed absentmindedly as she climbed the steps to her apartment. She wondered if Neji and Pinky had enjoyed their male bonding time. They got along so well now...
She searched for her keys when the door in front of her was suddenly wrenched open. She shrieked and fell backwards as Naruto beamed at her. Neji, gentlemanly as ever, pushed past him to help her up.
"W...What's going on?" Naruto answered her.
"Oh, Neji and I have been having a little...chat." Sakura glared at Neji who shrugged it off a little too easily.
"He worked it out." Neji and Naruto both seemed a bit more shocked when Naruto found himself pinned to the wall with his feet raised of the ground.
"And he's not going to tell anyone. Am I correct?" She hissed. When he shook his head she let him fall to the ground and dusted off her sleeves. She snatched Neji's arm and dragged him inside. "Come on Neji, I want to see how you have been treating my baby." She then proceeded to slam her door closed again.
Several minutes of her interrogating Neji about her pet's health they decided to take him for a walk. Halfway to the park Hinata saw them and changed direction. Shizune shook her head and did the same thing. Kiba gave Neji a thumbs up and Jiraya winked at him.
"Neji, I don't like this."
"No."
"Let's find Naruto." Before they could execute their plan however, Sakura was almost knocked over by Ino.
"HONEY! ARE YOU OKAY?" She paused to glare at Neji. "What did he do to you?"
"Ino? What are you talking about?" Sakura found herself dragged away from the safety Neji provided and over to a bench where hopefully she would get some answers.
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He tapped his foot and began counting the ways he was going to hurt Naruto if he had said anything. Sakura marched back over to him fuming while Ino skittered away nervously.
"Tell me." She shook her head and growled. "Sakura..."
"APPARENTLY I HAVE JUST GIVEN BIRTH TO OUR FIRST CHILD!" Neji grabbed her hand and activated his Byakugan.
"Let's go."
Naruto wasn't anywhere obvious like the Ramen stand but Neji soon spotted him in amongst a large crowd of people. As they approached the crowd dispersed and Naruto spotted them and waved. Neji was muttering darkly beside her.
"Naruto! We told you to not tell anyone we were together!"
"I didn't. All I said was 'Neji and Sakura have had a child.'"
"But we haven't!" Sakura was only half aware of Neji holding her back. Naruto looked way too pleased with himself for finding some sort of a loophole in her threats.
"You said 'I want to see how you have been treating my baby' to Neji. What was I supposed to assume?" Sakura picked up Pinky and brandished him in Naruto's face.
"I WAS TALKING ABOUT THE DAMN SQUIRREL!"
"I know...But I may have been wrong." He grinned at them "Congratulations guys."
She wasn't sure, but she had thought that Neji had gotten to him first.
Nut2: Don't worry, I know that was terrible. And really predictable. And really short.And just plain badly written. Still, I'm back and updating now it's the holidays. Yay...Review please...
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.
