Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece; I really don't own anything but this old laptop…

The Straw-Hat pirates were sitting around a large round table laughing and eating.

"How long do we plan on staying here?" Usopp asked Nami with a fist full of bread ready to shove in his mouth.

"Oh, I don't know yet. We spent the day restocking the ship so we can leave first thing in the morning if everyone's ready." Nami responded, watching with slight disgust as the guys stuff their faces with abandon so shameless it was hard to turn away from.

The guys were tearing through the food in front of them occasionally yelling at each other and smacking each others hands as they tried to steal food from someone next to them, Nami turned to Vivi, who was watching not sure how to respond to the sight in front of her, "Kinda hypnotizing isn't it?"

Vivi pulled her gaze away from the massacre that the guys called "eating" and raised an eyebrow at Nami, "Do they always eat like this?" She asked shaking her head.

Luffy's arm stretched down the table in front of Nami to take some meat off Zoro's plate; Zoro stabbed his chopsticks into Luffy's fist, "What the Hell, Luffy? That's my food! Back OFF!" Thus, chaos ensued as they began to fight and yell, somehow bringing all the other guys into their fight as well.

"You're still new to the crew Vivi; you'll get use to them after awhile. Soon they won't be gross and strange; they'll be just… well, I guess they'll still be gross and strange but a little less so…well, less strange anyway. Hahahaha!" Nami lifted her glass up to her mouth and started to drink.

A man with shoulder-length, wavy, dirty-blond hair wearing a dark suit with a pink button-up shirt, loud tie and a silk scarf wrapped around his neck flowing down his back walked up to their table, gasping with his manicured hand on his chest he said, "Goodness, I've never seen anyone eat like that; you boys sure are hungry…. Well, can Julio get you anything else?"

Luffy looked up from his plate, "Hell yeah! I want more meat!" He started to look around, "Who's Julio?" He asked innocently.

The flamboyant man gave Luffy a light, airy laugh, "Julio is Julio."

"Yes, he is…and a very nice man he is too…I don't get it…" Luffy said with the type of confidence only the oblivious can possess.

"Oh, aren't you cute!" the man who called himself Julio said while doing the "gay man hand wave."

Luffy shook his head, "Nope, I'm Monkey D. Luffy and I'm gonna be Pirate King!"

"Well, Mr. Pirate King wants meat; can Julio get anything else to go with that?" Julio flashed a pearly, white smile.

The crew sang out their orders while Julio made mental notes. When everyone had said what they wanted, Luffy jumped up and started shouting, "JULIO! JULIO, WHERE ARE YOU? I WANT MEAT! MEAT, OKAY?"

Nami groaned and put her forehead into her hands. Sanji delivered a well-placed kick to the right side Luffy's head at the same time Zoro whacked the left with the hilt of one of his swords, "How stupid are you? HE" Zoro pointed, "is Julio! HE is going to take your order! HE is going to come and give us the food we ordered! One more time just in case you STILL don't get it…okay, ready…listen…HE… IS… JULIO!" Zoro had Luffy by the face, making sure Luffy was looking as he was pointing to Julio and spoke very slowly-even if he was yelling- in a voice you'd reserve for small children and the very stupid.

Luffy's face lit up, "OH! So you're Julio… I get it now!" he said slapping his closed fist into the palm of his other hand, "So why do you call yourself Julio…?"

Julio let out another light, airy laugh, "Because Gorgeous'n'Fabulous would sound stupid, Silly." He did another "gay hand wave."

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Luffy let loose with a torrent of laughter, "You're hilarious! You wanna join my pirate crew and search for the One Piece with us?" Luffy was bouncing up and down, holding onto Zoro's arm, trying to bounce him up and down too. Zoro scowled pulling his arm from Luffy's death grip and went back to his food.

"hehehehe, as hot as a bunch of pirates are, Julio is afraid his place is here. But thanks for the offer," He said with a wink.

"Sure, sometimes it's hot being a pirate, but you can always jump into the sea…well, I can't; I'll just sink. But the others can…oh, not Chopper. But the others, they say it's really fun…unless the ship is going too fast and it's hard to catch up, we almost lost Usopp and Zoro once. But we got em back, ahahaha, it was really funny! And they were soooo mad!"

Nami sighed, "I don't think that's what he was talking about, Luffy."

Luffy dropped his head to one side, "No…then what?"

Vivi smiled, trying not to laugh. Sanji spoke up, "Never mind, you're too young, besides you'd never understand his… delicate situation. You wouldn't even get it if he was more… less… um… like um, us…more…WHAT THE HELL, NEVERMIND!" Sanji threw himself into eating his food and downed his wine in one gulp.

"What do you mean, 'too young,' I'm only 2 years younger than you…" Luffy said in a huff.

"Let it go, Luffy." Zoro said gently, not wanting to anger the captain further.

Luffy spun to face Zoro, "You know what the Hell he's talking about?"

Sanji gave Zoro a wicked smile, "Sure he knows…even if he doesn't do it, I don't think he's ever even see a na-"

"HEY! SHUT UP YOU STUPID LOVE-COOK, what would you know about my personal life!" He sighed, trying to calm himself, "Of course I know what he's talking about…you and Chopper are the only ones who don't get it."

"Hey, Dumbass! How do you know if I get it or not?" Chopper jumped on his chair and pointed at Zoro, "It's not like I'm some little kid or something!"

Zoro looked at him with a raised eyebrow, "Do you get it, Chopper?" He asked getting tired with this argument.

Chopper looked down and said in a very, very small whisper, "No…" He sat back down and began to eat again.

Julio again laughed, "Well, aren't you just so much fun." He directed this at the whole table, "As great it would be to be chased by a bunch of men in sailor suits for the rest of his life, Julio doesn't think life on a boat would agree with him… how would Julio blow dry his hair, and Julio can't imagine the bathroom being what he's used to… hehehehahahaha. Julio is now going to get your food; he wishes you a good meal."

"yeah, sure" Sanji said without enthusiasm.

A few minutes later Julio came back with steaming plates of food. Luffy was bouncing in his seat singing his "hungry pirates" song. Usopp and Chopper started singing with him. Julio put the plates down, remembering who ordered what.

"Thanks Julio, you cook really good!" Luffy said as he began to devour his meal.

Julio laughed, "Julio would do anything to please a cute little pirate like you," He looked over at Sanji and Zoro, "Julio is also quite fascinated by your suave blond and strong swordman…Julio thinks it should be a crime to have so many sexy men in one place."

Sanji and Zoro shifted a little in their seates, "You know as desperate as Sanji is," Zoro smiled the same wicked smile Sanji gave him earlier, knowing he was about to get Sanji back for that cheap shot at his sex life, "you might just have a crack at him!" The emphasis on "crack" made Usopp and the girls giggle; Luffy and Chopper still didn't get it.

Julio laughed, "As much fun as that sounds, Julio thinks he might be barking up the wrong tree… but," He winked at the two older teens, "but if either of you change your minds about women, come and see me, I'll show you why men are better than women."

"Of course we are! There's no way girls are better than us! WE ROCK!" Luffy was up again cheering for his coolness and bouncing in his chair with his fists raised into the air.

"Again Luffy, not what he wa-"

"Nami, I'm not going to answer any of the floods of questions that that statement is going to raise, and if you don't want to either, maybe you should shut up." Zoro said sternly with his arms crossed over his chest.

Sanji agreed, "Nami-swan, for the first – and last – time, I'm going to have to agree with Shit-For-Brains. There are some things that don't need to be explained to Luffy."

Nami looked over at Vivi for confirmation, she just gave Nami a look that was clear as day, "Please don't." Nami nodded, "I'm not so sure if guys are better than girls Luffy… we can kick some major butt too."

Luffy laughed, "Well I guess you have your moments too! But if you were a guy, you'd kick so much more ass!"

Nami looked at Vivi and they both shrugged, "whatever you say Luffy…" was all that Vivi said.

Julio laughed again, "Julio has never had so much fun with customers before, he wishes you'd come by more!"

"HAHAHAHAHA! We will!" Luffy said clapping his feet together.

"That's great! Julio will have Toshi bring the dessert try around in a few minutes. Julio will see you again before you shove off." Julio said smiling.

"Desert! Whoo-hooo! Bring it on!" Were the answers of Chopper, Luffy and Usopp.

Julio left the table smiling and waving.

As promised, a curvy woman wearing a tank top and long skirt with boots and long wavy, brown hair came pushing a cart loaded down with desserts, "Hey, I'm Toshi… his highness, Queen Julio told me to push this thing your way. So what's your poison?"

"WOW! Julio's a QUEEN! He didn't even say anything about it!" Luffy said his eyes big and awe-inspired.

Toshi raised an eyebrow at the guy in the straw hat, "What the...no, no, he's not really a queen, he just acts like one, so I call the lady "queen"… get it?"

"Now he's a lady!" Luffy looked at Chopper whose eyes were just as wide as his own. Chopper just shrugged confused.

Toshi looked at the others around the table, "Never mind, just pick what you want so I can get the hell out of here… I got things to do, people to kill, business as usual."

They all picked what they wanted and Toshi took off with her cart yelling to "the Queen" as she went, "All right you pansy-assed, make-up wearing, dick chasing, drag-queen! I'm going on my break; don't try to stop me – like you could – I'll see you when I come back… and when I do come back don't whine that I've been gone! DON'T MESS WITH MY PASTERIES WHILE I'M GONE! IF ANYTHING IN MY KITCHEN IS MESSED WITH, YOU'RE GONNA BE MAKING YOUR OWN DESSERTS FROM NOW ON! YA GO THAT!"

Luffy laughed while Sanji said, "She's kinda scary."

Usopp shrugged, "I donno, I kinda liked her. She's funny."

Luffy laughed, "Me too." Zoro rolled his eyes, "Entertaining at least. The both of them."

Nami said, "Let's finish our food and get out of here."

They all agreed and soon were on their way.