Chapter 6
It is a strange thing to witness, the state of someone who has just lost a loved one. There are tears; strong and relentless and unforgiving. There is anger; fueled and unkempt and incredulous. There is the almost unbearable show of unremitting emotion that allows the onlooker to observe the rawness of that person. It is a strange thing. It is a sad thing.
Remus cradled the young boy in his arms, as he had been holding him all night. When the news had arrived by owl in the early hours of the morning, clouds that had been waiting anxiously in the sky emptied and rain beat down on the Malfoy Manor. Appropriately, thunder roared and bolts of lightening cackled mockingly in the dawning sky. The candle-lit room with the single mattress was abandoned and they now occupied the candle-lit sitting room, both nestled snuggly together, Draco's cheek still wet with tears against Remus' chest. As their breathing became more and more eased, the dreamless sleep potion worked in their veins, lulling them into peaceful rest. The rest was in due need for both of the wizards after the endured night of sex and death.
"Draco," Remus called from the couch, a blanket wrapped around his waist. "There is an owl from Hogwarts at the window." Remus had immediately recognized the owl to be from the school's owlry, though he did not pay it much mind. After all, it wasn't much his business who Draco corresponded with at the school. Probably Snape.
"Let him in Remus," Draco yelled from the kitchen. "Do you like lemon in your tea?"
Remus crossed the floor to the window and undid the latch. The bird flew into the room, its soaked wings flapping miserably. It finally landed on Remus' arm, where it shook water all about him. "What was that?"
"Lemon in your tea?"
"Ah," Remus said, wiping some water out of his eyes. "Yes please." The owl was nipping at his hair now so Remus untied the roll of parchment from its leg and gave it a Knut. It cooed a thanks and flew back out the window.
"Scone?" Draco yelled from the kitchen again. Remus laughed and headed into the next room, the letter in his hand. When he walked in, he laughed again to see Draco hustling about the kitchen like a house elf.
"Draco?" Remus held the letter out to the blonde, who took it from his hands and set it down on the counter without opening it.
"My godfather. Loves bothering me in the middle of the night, he does. Did you say you wanted a scone?" Draco gestured toward the table, where a plate of blueberry scones sat. Remus shrugged and took a seat across from Draco, who was clad in house robe and slippers. They were a vision of pleasure, all aglow with the feeling of new lovers.
"Did I…hurt you?" Remus asked into his teacup. He was sure he had, but he was curious for a response.
"No," Draco answered him honestly. "It felt good." They smiled at each other and Remus took a bite out of his scone. "It didn't hurt," Draco stated. The feeling of Remus on top of him had outweighed any feelings of pain. The feeling of Remus inside him had been unlike anything Draco had ever experienced. "It didn't hurt," he repeated, feeling a bit like an old record. Remus just took another bite from his scone and leaned back into his chair. Draco was reminded of the late hour.
"Why weren't you sleeping tonight, Remus?" Draco asked. Remus quirked an eyebrow.
"Why were you?"
"I was mending my tortured soul with insomnia and nicotine. What's your excuse?"
"Not so far off from yours," Remus said thoughtfully. It was true; he had not been able to sleep. But for what reason? Draco? Sirius?
"Hmm," Draco hummed. "Can I ask you a question Remus?"
"Yes, of course you can."
He took a deep breath. "Did you sleep with Sirius tonight?"
Remus nearly spilled his tea. "What? No. No I didn't."
Draco seems to consider this. "Remus."
"Draco?"
"Don't sleep with him again. I couldn't stand it if you did," Draco said simply. "Promise me you will never sleep with Sirius Black again."
As Draco looked upon Remus possessively, Remus tried not to stir uncomfortably in his chair. It shouldn't have been a hard promise to make. He didn't sleep with Sirius that often anyway. Even tonight had been innocent. Just two friends sharing a bed. Besides, Sirius was taken, having his new strange relationship with Snape. So Remus shouldn't have even had to pause to think about it. The answer was obviously yes. Probably even if Draco hadn't proposed it.
"I didn't sleep with him tonight, Draco. I swear it. I already told you that we're nothing."
"Remus please, just promise me so I will never need worry about this again." His voice sounded so pleading.
"I promise I won't, Draco," Remus said quietly. Even as he said it, he felt the whip cracking against his back, the chains tightening around his wrists.
"Good."
It is a strange thing to witness, the state of someone who has just lost a loved one.
After tea and scones, Draco and Remus stood from the table and made for each other gently, Remus pulling him against his body. It was then Draco remembered the letter sitting for him on the counter.
"I best read this and reply before he goes and calls the whole ministry for a missing person," he joked, unwrapping himself from Remus' arms and picking up the letter. "Right. Let's get this over with." He unrolled the parchment and leaned against the counter as he read.
"Draco,
I regret having to say this in a letter but I thought you must know as soon as possible and as soon as possible is by owl. Albus informed me this morning that your mother has-"
Draco stopped reading and his eyes grew wide.
"Draco?" Remus said, moving towards him and placing a hand on his shoulder. The letter was shaking in Draco's hands. "What's happened, Draco?"
"Dead. My mother has killed herself," he said, daring a glance at Remus, who was looking worried.
"Oh my god. I'm so sorry," said Remus. He was trying to think back to what he always said to Sirius when he was mourning over Harry. Somehow, it didn't sound like quite enough with Draco. Draco, whom he did not know nearly as well as he knew Sirius. So Remus waited for the tears to come before gathering Draco and leading him to the sitting room where he held him close as he cried. Remus tried to fight the feeling of paternity as he comforted Draco. Was it wrong to come inside someone and act as a father figure in the time span of a few hours? Nevertheless, Remus soothed the crying boy as best he could and, when he went to pour them more tea, he slipped them both dreamless sleep.
Remus last waking thoughts were of Sirius. How he had never dared use potion on him.
Sirius had gone back to Remus' room after staying with Snape the rest of the night. There had been no tears. Snape and himself had only talked of Narcissa, sipped wine, and played a game of chess, which Sirius dutifully allowed Snape to win. After a shag or four, they had finally said their goodbyes and Sirius had stumbled back in hopes of finding Remus back in his room so they could talk to him about what happened. But Remus wasn't to return until 9 o'clock in the morning, where Sirius greeted him with a cup of coffee and blueberry scones. Remus had frowned at this and scratched his head.
"I'm glad you're still here, Pads. I've terrible news," Remus began.
"Terrible news? That's no fair. I've got terrible news," said Sirius. "Whomever should go first? Ah well, I suppose you could go first. By the by, Narcissa Malfoy committed suicide last night. Okay, now you go first."
Remus groaned and fell into a chair. "Who told you?"
"Severus."
"Right. Should have seen that one coming, I guess."
"So we had the same news? How boring."
"Sirius, that is so inappropriate. A woman is dead," Remus said with no feeling behind his voice.
"Wait a second, how did you know?"
"I was with Draco when he got Snape's owl," Remus answered. He had forgotten about leaving Sirius in the middle of the night. Had he been concerned or had he just skipped off to see the Potions Master?
"Ouch. You were with him? Was he upset?"
"His mother is dead, of course he was upset," Remus said.
"Did someone have to play daddy last night?" Sirius said in a singsong voice. Remus shot him a look of venom.
"Why are you being such an inconsiderate arse?"
"I'm trying to cheer you up mate," said Sirius, shaking his shaggy head about. "You remember. I act like an arsehole, you laugh…"
"When has that ever been a routine of ours?" Remus said, staring at his friend blankly.
"Well it happened this one time…oh wait sorry. That's with Sevvie, not you."
"Sevvie? Oh my god!" Remus stood up angrily, and stomped to his bedroom, slamming the door shut behind him. Sirius ran after him, banging on the door.
"Remus? Moony? What's the bloody matter with you?"
"You call him Sevvie now, do you?" roared Remus from the other side of the wood.
"I think it's nice to have nicknames. I call you Moony."
"But you're not shagging me!"
"Well not right now, I'm not. What's the deal?"
"You have routines!"
"Do not! Oh that. Well just that one. And not really."
"…"
"Moony?"
"…"
"Moony?"
"…"
"Oh bloody fucking hell. Alohamora."
The door opened and Sirius walked through, finding Remus on the edge of his bed, looking in a rut. He sighed and sat beside him.
"Did things go badly with young Master Malfoy?"
Remus shrugged and looked out the window. "I ran into him last night and we went to the manor. We slept together. It was different but it was nice. Then the owl. I just feel out of it, Sirius. And the bloody promise I made. Fucking hell. Sorry, mate. I just feel so goddamned out of place."
"It's alright. I think you're allowed that every once in a while, Moony. What promise did you make?"
"Not to ever sleep with you again."
Sirius rolled his eyes and kissed Remus on the cheek. "Don't worry. Can't get rid of me with a silly promise."
Remus touched the skin that Sirius had kissed. "What does that mean?"
"It means take a bath. You reek of peppermint."
