Disclaimer: I do not own, nor will I ever--sadly--own Dark Angel. I'm gonna go cry now...or write more fanfic :)

A/N: Please R&R, rmember I'm keeping the minimum--atleast three reviews--before I update, if I have the chaper finished. You don't know how much it helps to have the reviews...

The Identity of a Soldier

Chapter Three: Pain and Puzzle Pieces

One of the downsides of being a genetically engineered transgenic human with shark DNA was that you didn't get much sleep. But Max didn't mind. She had lived her entire life waiting for the night, the only time of the day when she didn't have to be responsible. She could do anything…ride her motorcycle down the road with the wind in her hair and not a care in the world; challenge another motorcyclist to a race, only to be sidetracked by overbearing sector police looking to be cruel to a girl. Max had always sworn that the night was the best part of the day. She couldn't understand how people spent their lives just sleeping away the only hours worth living for.

The only problem with being one of the very few awake at such hours was the fact that it allowed for too much thought. Max lay on her bed, clad in tank top and lounge pants, the image of total comfort. But she wasn't comfortable. Her mind was wild with thoughts. Alec, X5-494, her Manticore "breeding partner," was staying in her apartment, sleeping on her couch. Sometimes she just didn't understand her own impulses. But he was rather confused right now, and it hurt her to see him so. Even at Manticore, beneath the cocky soldier exterior, there was something unsettled about him. Max had reached out to that part of him when she had found him lying crumpled on the ground. She didn't know if he would get his memory back, or what would happen if he did. She didn't really want to know. For now she was fine getting to know the unaltered Alec. Not 494, not the product of years of hard core training. But Alec, the human beneath the layers of armor placed by Manticore. That was all she hoped for.


Alec's dreams were equally unsettled, though of a different variety. He didn't understand what was going on. It just seemed so real.

There was a girl. Dark hair cascading over her shoulders as her fingers flew over the keys of a beautiful grand piano. He was supposed to know this girl. She had been important to him. She smiled at him. "Thank you for teaching me, Simon." Who was Simon? He smiled back at her, really happy for the first time in his life.

Something was wrong. The girl began to frown at him. "I don't believe you." She started to turn away, to run down the stairs. He wanted to stop her. He knew that if she left she would be in danger. He wanted to help her, but she pushed him away. She slapped his face and called him a liar. Truth. He tried to stop her from going down to the car. He didn't want her to get hurt. But she wouldn't listen. He ran after her, hoping to catch her before she got there. He reached to doorway just as the car in the driveway burst into flames. No! He cried. But no sound came from his mouth.

He was being dragged away, down a long corridor. The walls were black and concrete, lined with iron doors at intervals. Cells, it was like a prison. No, it was a prison. As he passed the doors, unnatural animal sounds and human voices echoed. This was a torture facility. Psy-Ops. He tried to get away, but hard hands gripped his arms. They wouldn't let him go. He tried to tell them they were wrong, that he was innocent. Manticore killed the girl. It wasn't his fault. He didn't need to go to Psy-Ops. He was a good soldier. The girl was an innocent! It wasn't his fault!

"No. Stay away. Don't drug me. I'm fine."

"State your designation."

"X5-494. But you know that already."

"What did you do wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Why did you make a mistake?"

"I didn't."

"Increase the dosage."

"But I don't need it. I'm fine."

"Start the laser."

"No. Stop. I didn't do anything wrong!"

"Mission. Duty. Discipline."

"The mission was wrong, Barrisford wasn't the enemy. My duty was completed, I got the intel. Discipline wasn't required, Barrisford only wanted to protect his daughter."

"Increase the dosage, threefold. Initiate the laser."

"But I wasn't wrong. If we're soldiers, aren't we supposed to protect the innocent? Rachel was innocent!"

"Mission. Duty. Discipline."

"No!"


Something woke Max in the early hours of dawn. She couldn't place it at first. Then, she heard it. A soft whimper came from the main room. Alec. Instantly, Max was up and in the other room. What she saw was nearly enough to make her heart break. Alec looked like a child, fear etched deep into the features of his face, marring the designed perfection. He had pushed himself back into the deepest corner of the room, knees curled up to his chest, attempting to hide himself in the shadows. He was still asleep, though.

As Max approached slowly, she thought absently, they make us and they break us. A low snarl escaped Alec's throat as she drew closer. He may be asleep, but his senses were fully alert. "Alec?" Max spoke softly, hoping her voice would coax him out of whatever place of darkness he was in. He seemed to calm a little, but when Max reached out a hand to touch his shoulder, his eyes flew open and he lunged at her from the corner. With her extended hand, Max caught his flailing fist and swung behind him. With a palm to his back, she planted his face on the floor. "Even against your instincts, I can still kick your ass."

"Are you acquiring a fascination with my backside, Maxie?" He asked half-heartedly. Adrenaline did wonders to wake even transgenics. Then his voice grew quiet as if ashamed for reacting with his instincts, "I'm sorry I attacked you. I knew it was you when I opened my eyes, but I couldn't do anything about it."

Regardless of the fact that he slept, Alec didn't get any rest. His voice didn't just sound tired. It sounded exhausted and afraid. Hearing it, Max let go of his arm and sat on the floor beside him, gently helping him up into a sitting position. "My God. Alec, what did they do to you?" Psy-Ops was a bitch if there ever was one, but this was beyond anything she had ever seen before.

"I can't remember," he breathed. He sounded so dejected. Max didn't think, she simply pulled him back toward her, capturing him in a hug similar to the one he had given her the night before. She only tried to relay any kind of comfort or support he was in need of at that moment.

Max didn't know what to do. He seemed so lost in his own mind, unsure of what was truth or what he was supposed to do. There was no longer any doubt in her mind. She did the right thing by bringing Alec to stay with her. He was not the bred soldier anymore. He was scared, he felt alone. But he wasn't alone. Not anymore.

They sat for a few minutes, until Alec calmed down slightly. He really had been reduced to nothing more than a frightened child. Max nudged him, hoping he would get the hint and get up. Max did need to get to work, to make sure that Normal gave her job back. But yet again, Alec protested to her leaving. Not particularly minding his presence, Max contemplated skipping out on work and playing dead for one more day. But then, that would probably not be a good idea. OC would definitely spread word that Max had risen from the grave and she would have hell to pay when she did go back to work. Normal would be in a royal mood and Sketchy would want to kill her for not showing up earlier, probably so he could have made a bet on how she managed to escape death.

Choosing not to risk Sketchy's elaborate money-making schemes, Max stood, leaving Alec to slump on the floor. Max thought about the change he displayed between his sleeping on her shoulder on their way back to Seattle and his troubled sleep when she found him this morning. His comment the night before about having a good dream for a change made her think. What could have helped him have more peaceful thoughts? Then she got an idea. Dragging him to his feet, Max pulled him to her room. Dropping him on her bed, she pointed at him and commanded "sleep." He frowned slightly, but quickly nodded and curled himself around the comforter covering her bed.

Max grabbed some clothes from her closet and changed in the bathroom. When she emerged, she greeted OC in the kitchen. Clad in dark gray cargo-capris and a red hooded pullover, complete with black zip-vest, Max handed her friend a cup of coffee. She propped her left foot on the counter to securely tie her sneaker in place.

OC watched the female transgenic from the corner of her eye. Something was different about her. She looked suspiciously to the havoc of the living area. The patchwork blanket which usually adorned the back of the couch lay in a pile on the floor, beside a pair of black army boots. What had happened here last night? Subtle as possible, OC leaned around the corner and glanced into Max's room. Sure enough the male transgenic she was introduced to the night before lay unconscious on Max's bed, though clothed just as he was when she met him. She turned back to see Max watching her.

"Nothing happened, OC."

"Girl, you know me too well."

Max shrugged. "I just know how you think," she winked at her friend.

"So, if you know how I think, tell me what I want to know." OC crossed her arms and sat on the barstool at the counter, one foot propped up on a wrung, the other extended to the floor.

Max sipped at her coffee. "Alec didn't sleep very well. Okay, that's not true…he didn't rest very well last light."

"You mean he's got the shark DNA thing like you got?" OC dropped her arms, resting her hands in front of her on the seat of the barstool, leaning her shoulders forward.

"No. He slept, alright. It's just that he didn't have very peaceful dreams." Max bent, leaning her elbows on the counter beside OC. "I found him this morning nearly huddling against the wall. He tried to attack me when I tried to wake him up."

OC looked Max up and down, assessing any possible damage. If that boy had hurt her friend, transgenic or no, she would lay the smack down on his ass.

"I'm fine OC. I landed his pretty face on the living room floor."

"Damn, girl! And you just met him. First, you're hugging this hot-boy in the hall. Now, you lay the smack down on his ass." OC considered her friend with a new respect. That kind of treatment was usually reserved for stupidity himself, Sketchums.

"Actually, I've known him for a little longer than that. Don't bring this up again. Ever. But when we were back at Manticore, they had us paired off as 'breeding partners.' Just try to tell me that isn't the nastiest thing ever devised by Manticore. Bordering on torture, they tried to make the X5's get busy with people that they didn't even know. Much less, feel anything for." Max remembered the night that Alec had first shown up in her cell. She thought she was seeing Ben, and her heart had very nearly broken. First there was Zack giving up his life for her, now here was Ben reincarnate coming for a nighttime visit. Only it wasn't Ben. "My designation is 494." Ben's had been 493. Even down to the cocky exterior, this was not Ben.

"So what'd you do? Did you actually get it on?" OC was horrified at the thought.

"Naw." Max stood and leaned her hip against the counter. "He took off his shirt and I kicked him into the door."

"All right, girl!" OC held up her hand for some love.

Max slapped her hand, but bit her lip in thought. Considering recent events, she wondered if she should have should have been so rough on him. He was just trying to follow orders. Orders from a whack military instillation, but still… Manticore was all he had ever known.

"But about this morning…?" OC was still curious. Alec had seemed like a nice guy. Why would he try to attack Max?

Max thought for a moment. "It must have been a reaction to just waking up, immediately being on the defensive. It's a trademark of Manticore. Never sleep with all of your senses turned off, it leaves you open to attack." She straightened, leaving her empty coffee cup on the counter. "I don't know what he was dreaming, but it scared him. He was raw when he finally slowed down. Adrenaline is a kick in the pants, but it can't keep you going. He's been running on adrenaline for a while. He needed to sleep, but hasn't been able to rest because of these things he's haunted by." She debated on telling OC about the bike ride home. She'd tell her friend eventually. "I figured since he slept so well on my shoulder on the way back to Seattle, maybe my scent helped to drive away the demons of his past… So, I threw him on my bed and told him to sleep." Max glanced in her room. Seeing Alec curled around her blankets and sheets, she grinned. "I guess he listened to me."

"Yeah. And who wouldn't after you kicked 'em to the curb?" OC cocked an eyebrow. She glanced at the wall clock and stood reluctantly. "Well, you know Normal. If we don't jet, he'll be ragging on us all day for being two minutes late."

"I gotcha Boo." Max grabbed her pager and messenger bag, then stopped. "Just let me leave a note for Alec." Max grabbed a notebook. After quickly jotting down a few marks, Max found some sticky stuff and plastered each of three notes on the fridge, the front door and, leaving the last one on the notebook, the counter. "Hopefully that will hold him for a while."

Max wasn't going to let him leave her apartment until he had some different clothes, at least. She didn't think it would go over well with the general public if a man walked around town wearing military fatigues, speckled with blood from a head injury which had since healed. Not that the fatigues would bother them…Since the Pulse people did strange things, wore whatever clothes they could get their hands on. The blood wouldn't necessarily bother them either…People got injured all the time. It was the blood in combination with military attire that would freak them out. She couldn't blame them, it did tend to scream either federal incursion or gang take-over. Neither was friendly, and they would not be accepted in such a manner either. So, she would have to look around while she did her messenger runs for work.


When Alec woke up for the second time that day, he felt refreshed. He wasn't sure how Max knew what to do, but the instant he landed on her bed and breathed in her scent he was at peace. He got up from the bed, untangling himself from the blanket he had wrapped himself around, he wondered why it was so quiet. Making his way out into the main room, he noticed a note taped to the refrigerator. Crossing behind the counterspace, he went to see what it said. Food in here. Please don't eat it all. "Real funny Max. You think I would hoover all of your food in one day." He grinned, at least she had thought to remind him to eat, sort of.

He turned, thinking he would go find his own food, sparing himself the aggravation if he should eat all of hers, accidentally. But there on the front door another note was taped. Under no circumstances, leave this apartment. "Great. Max has gone 'mommy' on me again." He wondered where she had gone, it was too quiet in this place. Even OC, the nice black girl he met the night before had skipped off. Sighing deeply, he opened the fridge to find something to eat. After searching out a bagel and some cream cheese, Alec plopped down on a barstool to eat. And there, again, was another note. Hey, Alec. Just so you know, OC and I had to get to work. Who knows what will happen there. Should be back around 1700 hours, aka 5 pm. I didn't think it would be a great idea for you to walk the streets of Seattle with blood-stained clothes, so I'm gonna try to find you some while I'm out. Please don't leave the apartment. There's no telling what kind of whacked-out people you could run into. Oh, and the food is yours, just remember there are two other people living in this place who also need to eat. See ya, Max.

Alec spoke to the empty apartment around him, flopping on his back tothe couch still holding the note from Max. "It's great that she cares about me and all, but I'm here all by myself. And there's no TV. I'm gonna be BORED out of my MIND!"


Review Responses:

J.D5: I know, but Alec is all mine...well, Max's in this case. He will eventually get his memory back, but for now it's a struggle. The M/L thing will end as soon as possible...makes me not-so-happy to write them as a "couple." Over all, thanks!

Jihino Tenshi: (from ch. 1) I try, I try. Guess I succeeded, eh? Thanks, girl.

Jihino Tenshi: (from ch. 2) Thank you so much! I plan to.

suenooneus: Thanks for the note. It made me all giddy inside to know that my work is appreciated. I hope to get out tons before school, and during ifI can help it, but I make no promises. --school starts Aug. 31 so it's getting close... we'll see.

Alana84: Thanks, I like the way I'm writing Alec, too. We'll have to see how long it takes for the memory to come back, wink wink.

lakergirl08: Thanks, and I agree about Max. But I can understand her season 2 attitude, she was majorly stressed: she considers the transgenics and transhumans to be her responsibility since she let them out of Manticore. Alec will definitely remember. And White will show up as the evil overlord that he is...