EMOTIONAL INVOLVEMENT & SACRIFICE

"Ashlyn. Wake up."

Oh no. Not again. For the time being, Ash ignored the insistent voice of her father. How many times in so many weeks had he come to her tent, whispering her name urgently, bringing her out of deep sleep to face yet another crisis head on? It wasn't that she was complaining, because she wasn't. Like her father, she had chosen the medical field as her life's calling. Part of that was accepting the fact that whatever could go wrong would go wrong.

It had been nearly two months since Danforth and Ashlyn Harding came to call the Medjai village of the Fifth Tribe their temporary home. It was the home tribe of both Ardeth and Faras. After Simya's death from his mysterious fever, the Hardings worked overtime to find a cause, to determine if any more lives were in danger. Azar had come down with similar symptoms to Simya, but he didn't die. As he was being treated and the entire tribe forced not to leave or to allow visitors inside the protected gates of the village, they soon discovered that the fever was not contagious. Outside a coincidence, they could find no explanation as to why Azar was struck with it. No one else became ill as a result. After waiting for almost a full month, Danforth decided that the fever would not become an epidemic. Slowly, painstakingly, the community began to move ahead with their lives and tasks before them. However, without a healer, the Hardings were needed more than ever before. Ardeth had promised many times to find a replacement, but father and daughter assured him that they were enjoying their extended stay, helping those who clearly would be in trouble without it. Although Ash found herself loving the village and every minute of what she did every single day, it had its downside.

The length of time she had been here had helped her accomplish several goals that she had once thought were unobtainable. She had begun to tolerate her brother in-law more, as he did her. Yet, there was Faras. Whether he was following orders or acting on his own free will, he kept his distance. Ardeth kept him busy, sending him on patrols that stretched days at a time, and when he was at the village, he was put on guard during a time when Ash was normally asleep. She didn't know if the new calm with Ardeth was worth her staying quiet about Faras' avoidance of her. It made no sense. Yes, technically, she was still an American. Technically, she intended to return to the states. Or did she? Technically, she was still honoring Faras' wishes to keep her distance from him. She didn't like it. She didn't like it at all.

Any time another girl even glanced at him, it made her feel an intense rush of jealousy, and Ash wasn't a jealous person. It didn't escape her that Faras hadn't shown interest in the other women in the village. There were plenty who wanted his attention. Rihana had told her so numerous times. She had seen evidence herself. Shaji Amin, one of many sub commanders directly under Faras' supervision had a sister who was three or so years older than Ash. Her name was Cree and she served the tribe as a falconer's apprentice. Cree never had a negative word for Ash, was always polite and cordial, but it was more than obvious she carried a torch for Faras, had probably done so for many years. When she wasn't in the healer's tent, Ash often watched the two of them together. They fit so well, seemed to get along better than any two people she had ever seen. In her heart, she knew Faras would be happier with her; he needed someone who could always stay here. Yet, she didn't want to be around to watch their relationship grow…or worse still…watch them wed. There was no guarantee that her time would extend beyond another day. Ardeth or one of his men…usually Faras…rode out to a different tribe every day. Each had its own healer and assistant. There was several in training, but none who could leave their tribes permanently. Time was growing short, but Ash had made a few decisions about that, decisions that she would discuss with her father. If he'd only allow me to sleep.

"Father?" Ash sat up and scrubbed the sleep out of her eyes. "What is it?"

He hated telling her this, hated telling her that one she cared for was injured, even if the injury wasn't life threatening. He had no choice. After all, they were the only medical personnel for miles. "Faras has a bit of a problem."

The moment she heard the sentence come out of her father's mouth, her heart pounded sickly in her chest. "Faras? What…no…not the fever!"

"No," he said with a firm shake of his head. "Nothing like that. He and Shaji came across a few mean spirited scorpions."


Faras and Shaji sat complacently upon cots in the healer's tent. Both men had just reported to Ardeth concerning the still deserted Kashfi Narrows. Their mission earlier tonight had been to ride out and stand guard. Auberjonus had been absent from the area longer than any time before this. Although he hadn't said as much to any of the other warriors, Faras had accompanied Ardeth on several expeditions to search for the elusive gang with no luck. As each day passed, Ardeth grew more angry and bitter. He hadn't seen a man's heart grow so cold so quickly. He believed the Chieftain wouldn't stop until he died, wouldn't stop until he saw Auberjonus' lifeblood drain out of him.

They were ordered to make camp, to spend the night on the fringes of the Narrows to await anyone who approached. They were to capture any person who set foot there, bringing them to the village where Ardeth intended to interrogate said person until he caved in. Nothing was worse than a Medjai warrior set on vengeance. It simply hadn't worked out that way. Shamefacedly, he told his Chieftain of the scorpions that had invaded their camp, slipping into their tents as if they were warriors themselves, sent out on a specific mission to chase them away. If Auberjonus had powers to control the environment around the Narrows, Faras wouldn't have been afraid to say that he had sent the scorpions to them. They were only lucky that these creatures were not of the poisonous variety. If the situation hadn't been so serious, the story might have been amusing. Ardeth wasn't amused. He was irritated. There was no way they could go back out tonight with their injured flesh swelling by the second. From experience, Faras knew Ardeth's next step would be to send out two more warriors until their wounds healed. For the second time in so many months, Faras somehow felt as if he had failed Ardeth.

Ardeth continued to speak to him and Shaji, but his words had begun to run together. It wasn't the scorpion venom getting to him. It was Ash. He had hoped that only Danforth Harding would appear to help the men deal with their most embarrassing situation, but it was a futile thought. Ash entered the tent first, followed closely by her father. He noticed that she stood back. It hurt when she veered away from him to see to Shaji while her father assisted him. He actually couldn't place any blame on her. She was honoring his wishes, wasn't she? It didn't matter. He longed to speak to her, to call her name. She might have been under the impression that it was Ardeth who kept him away from the village. That simply wasn't true. Faras asked for most of the trips that took him away from the tribe. It was his way of dealing with the closeness of Ashlyn Harding. She and her father were here as a favor to the Medjai. She couldn't stay. She probably didn't want to.

Ardeth stood back with his arms crossed before him. In the time the Hardings had served as temporary healers, he had watched Ash closely. He had seen a side of her that he didn't think existed. For now, she wasn't a spoiled brat angered by the way her sister became his wife. She was a serious young lady with a love of helping those in need. As she worked on Shaji, doctoring his wounds, he again found himself watching her, watching Faras watch her. Although he was completely opposed to Ash and Faras becoming involved, it was Faras' idea to be sent away from the tribe as often as possible. Ardeth didn't agree with this. He thoroughly believed in the old cliché: absence makes the heart grow fonder. He wanted Faras to deal head on with Ash, with his feelings for the girl, but he refused. Instead, he stayed away as often as possible. It was more than clear that Faras wasn't succeeding in his plan to keep his distance. Watching him now, he could see how Faras couldn't stop glancing at her. If he didn't intervene, Faras wouldn't be able to let her go once it was time for her to go back to America.

Steadfast, Ash placed antiseptic poultices on the stings adorning Shaji's arm. It was difficult work with Faras sitting so near, his eyes following almost every move she made. Stay focused. You see redness, localized swelling, and a young man in distress. You do not see Faras bin Saiyid eyeing you. You are a nurse. You must remember that. It wasn't easy. Standing close to her was a man who had managed to touch her heart without much effort. His silent strength alone appealed him to her. Maybe if she spoke to her father about her decision, this disturbing situation wouldn't have to be such. Maybe it wouldn't hurt so badly every time she saw Faras. He could already be contracted to marry Cree. What will I do then? She shook it off long enough to concentrate on what she was doing. Shaji was speaking to her, telling her where it hurt, where he had been stung, and she found herself archiving the information. She was completely on automatic now. With one last poultice on a particularly bad sting located near Shaji's shoulder, her job was done. She could leave now. She could go back to bed and dream. She didn't. She couldn't. She had to speak to her father.

Once Faras and Shaji were treated, Danforth insisted that Faras stay overnight in the healer's tent so that he could be looked after. He had sustained more stings than Shaji and was running a slight fever. Faras protested, but Danforth insisted. After Simya had succumbed to fever, Danforth was taking no chances. Before he could argue, Ardeth silenced him. It was after this when Ash saw her opportunity.

"Father, we must talk," she said as she took his arm and led him away.

The two Hardings left the three men behind to step outside. "Ashlyn, someone must stay with Faras tonight. I don't have a lot of time to…"

"I know, Father," she said, interrupting him. "They've not found a healer. Even if they do, they need help. Since Simya died, Azar has begun to stay away from the tent for longer periods of time. I don't think he wants to be here anymore. Simya was like a father to him. I want to stay here, Father. I want to stay indefinitely."

"Do you know what you're saying, Ashlyn? You want to live here?"

Her father's eyes were filled with concern. His face was twisted up in a confused pucker. She had seen this look many times before when she made decisions he didn't necessarily like. It was a trait, she was sure, shared amongst many fathers of high spirited children. "Aiwa," she said with an ironic smile. "I know what I'm saying. I want to be here to help. I want to be here when Ardeth finds the man who murdered my sister. I won't be able to live at home until I witness this happening. I might come home then or I might stay."

Danforth smiled down gently at his daughter. He had sent Millicent home weeks ago. She would certainly lose her composure when she discovered that her only daughter didn't want to come home. "You might stay for Faras?"

She sighed sadly. "Not just for Faras, Father. For Liliana. For her people."


Ardeth remained with Faras, waiting patiently for the Hardings to return to the tent. At Danforth's request, Faras had stripped down to his waist. There were angry red stings on his chest, and one very close to his jugular vein. The man looked to be in a world of hurt. Why did he feel as if the scorpions weren't the only creatures to sting him? "Faras, after you recover, I do not think you should leave the village again. I am putting you on guard here. Any expeditions that need to be done can be carried out by me or another warrior of my choosing," he began.

Faras looked up at his Chieftain, disbelief clearly painted on his face. "I do not wish to stay here. I wish to serve you in full capacity, ra'îs. I can only do that if I am sent out. I had no idea the scorpions would invade our camp, I…"

Ardeth held up his hand briefly to interrupt the other man. "I am not setting out to punish you, Faras. This was an unfortunate incident that could have happened to any one of us. It is a part of desert life. We both know this. What I am ordering you to do is a task that will ultimately help you, Faras. It will aid in exorcising the ghost of Ashlyn Harding who keeps haunting you." He could see that Faras wanted to speak, but he held up his hand again. "," he said shortly. "Allow me to finish. Your staying away only forces you to keep her in your heart. Dealing with her every day will show you that you can function without her. She will not be staying here forever. She will go back to America and lead her life. You will stay here to lead yours."

"You do not know what you are asking," Faras said gruffly. "If she is close to me, it will be worse…much worse than keeping me away. That, I grant you." Faras chewed on his bottom lip for a moment. His next words were not going to be easy to say or for Ardeth to take. "Your Liliana was American," he said. "She did not live here until she became your wife."

Ardeth clenched his jaws together tightly. He hadn't expected such an insolent response. "That was different."

Faras nodded. He heard something that hadn't left him in months, a sarcastic chuckle emanating from deeply within his chest. ". It was not different. The only difference is that the two of you were contracted to marry when Liliana was a child. What if that had not been so? What if you had been forced to gaze upon her every day knowing that she could leave you at any moment? You went through that with each visit she made from home, did you not? I am not in love with your silfa, Ardeth. I do not know her well enough to have those feelings for her…yet. I know I am being denied the chance for that to happen, but I do not think that is right or just for either of us. Keeping me here, keeping me near her is not solving a thing."

"You are young, Faras. You have never had a significant relationship. You do not speak with enough experience to make your views more powerful, to make them steady enough to change my mind. My orders still stand. You are to stay here. Open defiance will have you before the Council. Am I understood?"

"Aiwa, ra'îs. You are understood," he said angrily. "I can only tell you that what you are doing is wrong. I will not, however, shy away from my duties simply due to the fact that I do not agree with them."


Ash reentered the tent a short time later. She nodded to her father who appeared to be reading. Faras lay prone on the cot, his eyes closed. Curiously, she approached him as he slept, her eyes focused on his bare chest. The angry stings were still showing signs of inflammation, but it seemed as if the poultices were working. By morning, he would be in a lot of pain, but the fever would be gone. She noticed a dozen scars on his flesh, the most prominent over his breast bone. It was an old scar, one that had resulted from an ugly gash. It was at least four inches long. She wondered how close he had come to death because of that. Perhaps she would ask him about it some day. Although she longed to tell him she was staying, she wouldn't wake him purposely. He needed his rest. Before she could move away, his eyes opened and he gazed at her. He was surprised to see her at his side. It was written in his eyes, all over his face.

"Did I wake you," she asked.

". You did not."

Ash settled back in beside him. "I know I'm dishonoring your wishes by being here, but I didn't get a chance to speak to you earlier, to find out if you're truly all right."

"I am fine," he insisted stubbornly. "I have been stung by enough scorpions in my life where I almost do not feel any pain."

It wasn't that he was trying to be brave or attempting to boast about his strength and endurance. It was a simple statement of fact. "Yes, I suppose you probably have," she said lightly. "I just want to make sure you're going to be okay." She laughed, embarrassed now. "Listen to me, repeating myself. Sleep well, Faras."

She tried to move away again, but Faras took hold of her hand. "You do not have to go," he told her. Open defiance.

"Faras, I intend to speak to Ardeth later this morning. Right now, I would like for us to talk. Is that all right with you?"

He nodded. "More than all right. Please."

"I know Ardeth is trying to find a new healer, but I don't think his search will be successful," she said. "I decided almost two months ago to stay here to help when Simya died. Even then, I think I had my mind made up. I'm not going home, Faras. I'm staying here. It might be on a permanent basis."

Faras' heart skipped a beat. For a moment, he thought it stopped. Had he heard what he thought he heard? Was he hallucinating from the scorpion stings? There was definitely an open question at the end of her statement. It might be on a permanent basis. She would consider staying permanently if he approved? Was that it? Why would he not? "You will stay?"

Ash nodded as a smile touched her lips. "I fully intend to. Of course, I'll have to clear it with Ardeth. He's only a small hurdle. If you want me to go, I will."

He shook his head. ", Ash. I do not wish for you to go, not if you want to stay."

"I do," she whispered. "I very much want to stay." With you.

With me. "Egypt is not America," Faras stated weightily. "Our village and our way of life is a far cry from the brand of civilization that you have grown accustomed to."

"I know that. I accept it. I want to see my sister's death avenged. I want to learn how she grew to love this country, this land. I want to be where I'm needed most. Your people and this village have become very important to me."

"Ashlyn."

It wasn't her father's voice this time. It was that of Ardeth. She turned and saw that he had entered the tent. She wondered how much he had heard. She saw that his eyes were glued to them. It was at that moment when she realized she had grabbed hold of Faras' hand. She consciously didn't remember doing that.

"You're certainly up late," Ash commented as he approached Faras' cot.

"I came to see how my Second is fairing," he said nonchalantly. "I can see he is in good hands."

Something passed between the two men, something that Ash couldn't put her finger on. Faras had become rigid and cold. "Ardeth, I'm glad you're here. I've decided that I will stay here permanently, upon your approval, of course."

It wasn't like Faras to disobey an order, even one that was still unofficial. This certainly explained it. "You came to this decision based on what exactly?"

She sensed coldness in her brother in-law, one that didn't exist just this morning. "So you can ease up on your search for a healer. I can manage on my own for now. When you find one, I can be his or her mumarriDa."

Ardeth focused his eyes on Faras before settling them on Ash's face again. "I suppose I cannot refuse your offer or request to stay. I only hope you are sure of your decision."

Without another word, Ardeth turned away and left them. She had expected an argument, one that would stretch for hours. "Why would he give up so easily," Ash asked Faras.

"I think it is his way of saying he was wrong," Faras said.

"About?"

"Everything."

Translations:

Aiwa—Yes

Ra'îs—Chief(tain)

Lâ—No

Silfa—Sister in-law

MumarriDa—Nurse


To be continued…