Hey hey hey SPN Family! So...what's new?

Hell of a lot of changes in the world since I last published. I sincerely hope that you all and your loved ones are safe, healthy, and okay. Sending out major hugs to all of you.

This story is a little difficult for me to publish. It deals with a lot of personal things, and its title is a nod to one of Natalie's namesakes. I hope that you'll find some inspiration in this case to AKF, because that's what it's all about. Special thanks to Jenmm31. Go send her some love for being awesome :)

Stay safe- be well- wash your hands.

A/N- in this story, Natalie is 18. This is part 1 of a three part case story.

Natalie closed her eyes, blissfully content. The glassy, crystal waters of the pool she was floating in were barely making any waves at all. The soft lap of the water hitting the tiled edge was the only sound she could hear. The warm water buoyed and soothed her as she floated on her back in near euphoria. It was still so early in the morning that no one else in the hotel had gotten up yet, and she had the pool area completely to herself. The clear blue water was still comfortably warm from the previous day's heat. Even the graceful blowing breeze had a tinge of warmth to it. Man, she loved Florida.

After their last case wrapped up in Jacksonville, she had managed to talk her way into getting Sam and Dean to stay an extra week to relax a little. It was October- prime monster season. Halloween was just a couple weeks away, and things were going to start to heat up soon. Better to rest and relax now before all hell literally broke loose. Not to mention here in Florida, it was still toasty and warm. When they called Bobby three days ago to check in, he told them they were expecting the first snow that night in South Dakota. That cinched it for the boys. They even let Natalie talk them into upgrading to an actual hotel for once. It was as close to a vacation as she was going to get in this lifetime.

After about an hour, she felt a couple plinks of rain on her face. She opened her eyes to see the dark clouds beginning to assemble overhead. Sighing heavily, she got out of the pool to gather her stuff and head back to the room. She had left a note for Sam and Dean so they would know where she was, but even by now it was unlikely they were both still asleep. She should be getting back anyway. Dean generally wasn't happy if she was gone when they woke up, even though she had left the note, but he was trying to loosen the reins. A bit. For him. No reason to push him on it.

Sure enough, Dean was sitting on her couch, feet propped up on the coffee table, watching the news while sipping a cup of coffee. "You've failed in your duties," he said gruffly by way of a 'good morning' as soon as she opened the hotel room door. Knowing that he was teasing, Natalie grinned.

"Already? Wow, that was fast. Thought I'd at least make it to nine a.m.," she retorted. When Dean gave a non-committal grunt in reply, she asked. "In what way did I fail this morning?"

Holding up his coffee mug, Dean replied. "Coffee WENCH," he said, looking at her pointedly. It had been her nickname for years, indicating that she was solely responsible for whether or not Dean had coffee in his hands. He shook his head in mock disappointment, then brought the cup back to his lips.

Natalie chuckled. "C'mon, I put all the grounds in there before I left. I even washed out your dirty mugs from yesterday. All you had to do was push the button to make the vile stuff."

"AND pour it," Dean grumbled darkly, before taking another long swallow. Natalie snorted in amused derision. "All I'm saying is that if you don't bring me coffee in the morning, then why did I even have a kid?"

"Because of all the love and joy I bring to your life every day. And the fact that I've saved your ass a time or two."

"Touché." Dean grinned at his daughter. "How was the pool?"

"Glorious," she said with a contented sigh. "Not a single person there. It was so quiet and calm. We should move here."

"If you can find an unoccupied bunker in Florida or convince Bobby to retire down here, then we'll talk."

"Challenge accepted."

Just then, the bathroom door opened and Sam emerged. "Morning," he said sleepily to the both of them. Natalie hurried over to the counter and poured a cup of coffee, handing it over to him. "Thank you, Coffee Wench," he said with a grin.

"Hey! No fair pouring him coffee when I had to get my own!" Dean barked from the couch.

"I'm sure you'll survive," Natalie said dryly. "I'm going to shower."

"You're grounded."

"Yeah, okay Dad." Snatching up her duffle, she headed into the bathroom, laughing. Sam plopped down on the couch next to his brother. His eyebrow raised when he realized that Dean was watching the news.

"The news? Really?" Sam remarked. Dean gave a slight shrug.

"I know we're on a break, but I like knowing what's going on in the rest of the world."

"Since when?"

"Shut up."

The boys sat in silence next to each other as the anchors on the TV continued to cover the latest breaking stories. Other than an occasional grunt or headshake, the boys just enjoyed their coffee and companionship, until one particular story caught their attention.

"And now a breaking story out of Grand Haven, Michigan, where a high school freshman was murdered on the way to school," the anchor said in her professional, practiced tones. Without realizing it, both Sam and Dean sat up straight, paying attention as a yearbook photo popped up on screen. "Joshua Lewis, aged 15, was found dead in a park this morning after other Grand Haven High School bus riders heard 'something suspicious' this morning at their bus stop. The witnesses say that they heard an altercation in the woods and went to check it out, finding Lewis's body." Smash cut to a camera feed of a park with cops crawling all over it. Yellow caution tape had been strung between several trees. Sam tapped his long fingers on his coffee mug in thought.

"That really sucks, but I don't get why that's national news," he said quietly to Dean.

"After Lewis's body was removed, the police discovered his backpack not far from the crime scene. In it was a gun, several rounds of ammunition, and a note, alleging a planned attack on the high school that very morning."

Sam's eyebrows shot up. "Uh, never mind," he said. "Wow. That's…wow."

The anchor continued. "No official cause of death has been released yet, and no suspects have been taken into custody."

Dean shook his head. "Whole freakin' world's burning, Sammy. I can't believe this kind of thing is still happening. Not enough that there are freaking monsters everywhere, people gotta pull shit like this. Good thing someone stopped it before he could shoot the place up."

"I'm glad he wasn't able to hurt anyone either, but Dean, don't you think it's a little too convenient? This kid turns up dead the morning he planned an attack on the school? Either someone knew that he was gonna do this, or someone planted the gun and note on him to justify killing him."

Dean shrugged in agreement as he thought over Sam's words. "So someone's trying to play vigilante? That what you think?"

"I don't know. But I do know the Grand Haven police are going to have their hands full on this circus. Woof."

They sat back, finishing their coffee as the news reports turned to happier subjects.

*SPN SPN SPN*

After a relaxing day of beach walks, seafood and day drinking- a LOT of day drinking, the Winchesters happily hit the hay. Natalie promised with a patient eye roll that she would be there to 'serve' the coffee the next morning. True to her word, she had hot coffee waiting when both boys finally dragged themselves out of bed. There were also Styrofoam containers of breakfast foods on the small table. When Dean looked at them, and turned to her with a raised eyebrow, she shrugged coyly.

"What? I was hungry," she said, tilting her head adorably. "Besides, I was here to get you your coffee." At the mention of coffee, Sam sat up in bed, trying to officially wake up. Dean headed right for his mug.

After his first long sip, Dean gestured to her head tilt. "That look only worked when you were five," he said dryly. "I don't like you leaving here without telling me, kid. And you're getting awfully regular about that lately," he commented, a touch of sternness in his tone.

"I'm sorry," she said, deflating a little. "I stayed in the hotel to get it, if that helps. It came from the café downstairs." She peeked over to see if he was really upset with her. When he started opening containers, searching for bacon, she knew she was off the hook. She grinned and plopped into the chair beside him. "So what are we doing today?"

Around a mouthful, Dean spoke. "I'm fine with a repeat of yesterday," he managed to get out with only two bacon crumbles falling from his bulging mouth. He looked into his lap where they had fallen, shrugged, picked them back up and crammed them back in.

Natalie giggled. "You're lucky Uncle Sam didn't see that," she whispered. Dean shook his head.

"Naw, that's only if YOU tried something like that. He knows better than to come at me where bacon is concerned," Dean said around his mouthful of breakfast. Natalie shrugged in acquiescence. Sam sat down on the other side of her, wiping the sleep from his eyes. She pushed a container full of fruit and an egg white omelet at him.

"Thanks, Bug," he said groggily.

"You want some coffee?" Natalie asked, a bit concerned that Sam seemed to be dragging a bit. However, he shook his head.

"Think I'd better stick to water right now. We drank a lot yesterday."

In tandem, both Natalie and Dean scoffed, brushing Sam's words away with their right hands. Sam just shook his head, grinning. Natalie reached behind her, pulling her laptop into her lap while they boys ate. When she felt Sam's eye on her, she looked up. He had that oh-so-familiar what are you doing look on his face.

"I'm just checking in. On stuff. Email and junk," she said with a delicate shrug, praying that she could get away with it. Of course she was wrong.

"When are you going to realize that I always know when you're lying?" Sam said patiently. That, in turn, made Dean's eyebrow arch again, and she knew the game was up. She sighed.

"Okay, fine. I saw this story online yesterday about this kid in Michigan who died under mysterious circumstances."

"We're on vacation, kid. One that YOU insisted on."

"I know, but I can't NOT check on it. I just want to see if there was anything else discovered. Please?" she begged. Dean rolled his eyes, but gestured for her to continue. She began typing away in a delighted rush. Dean turned his attention to his brother.

"So, no drinking today for the lightweight," he said, in a playfully mocking tone. Sam just shot him a bitch face. "What is there to do in Florida besides ocean crap and drink?"

"We could go to Universal. Or Disney," Natalie said out the side of her mouth, her eyes twinkling.

"Not on your damn life."

"Wuss."

"You're still grounded."

Natalie chuckled and returned to her articles. After swallowing a bite of cantaloupe, Sam shrugged. "I dunno," he said in reference to Dean's original question. "We've kind of done everything in this town already. I mean, I'm not going to say no to another beach day, but I got nothing else." Just then, Natalie gave a surprised squeak. Both pair of eyes swung to her. She looked up, a little embarrassed.

"Sorry," she mumbled. "But check this out!" she enthused, immediately forgetting her embarrassment. "This kid in Grand Haven, Michigan was killed yesterday morning. It sounds kinda suspicious, but the cops haven't released any cause of death yet."

"Hang on- Grand Haven? Didn't we hear something about that yesterday?" Sam asked Dean suddenly. Dean nodded.

"Yeah, when we were watching the news. Kid with the gun in his backpack and the plan to shoot up his school, right?" he gruffly asked his daughter. Natalie's eyes went wide.

"You guys knew about that?"

"Yeah, we saw it yesterday morning. How'd YOU find out about it?"

Natalie smirked sarcastically. "There's this thing called the Internet. It's really amazing. And it's not just full of naked women."

"Not my Internet."

"Okay, gross. Anyway, they just released his autopsy results," she said, her eyes darting excitedly back and forth, just waiting for them to ask. Dean crammed in another piece of bacon and chewed it patronizingly, clearly not willing to throw her a bone. She huffed at bit, then turned her attention to Sam. "C'mon, don't you wanna know?" she asked, trying to tempt him. He deliberately chewed and swallowed before answering dryly.

"I'm eating."

She rolled her eyes. "Fine. I'll just tell you then." Both boys groaned simultaneously. "Apparently, his insides reeked of sulfur." Natalie looked back and forth between them triumphantly.

Sam had unfortunately and suddenly swallowed a large chunk of melon upon hearing the results. Choking and gasping as he tried to breathe, he reached for his water to wash it down, his eyes streaming. Dean actually stopped chewing his bacon for three whole seconds, before gulping the entire mouthful down. He reached over and pounded Sam on the back, causing the melon chunk to dislodge and Sam to inhale laboriously. As soon as he could breath, Sam reached for her laptop to read the article himself.

"Well, Scooby gang, looks like the vacation's over," Dean said, sardonically arching one eyebrow. He tried as hard as he could to suppress the smirk on his mouth as his oh-so-mature eighteen year old began wriggling in excitement like a puppy. "You are entirely too excited about this murder, kid," he commented lightly to Natalie. But that made her snap back into reality. She stopped fidgeting and looked somber.

"Sorry, no disrespect meant," she said quietly. "I just…" She wasn't entirely sure how to finish that sentence.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. You miss hunting," Dean answered for her. His tone wasn't unkind.

"I mean, if we can be out there saving people, hunting things…you know?"

"I know," Dean said, a stir of the old excitement building in his blood. He grinned at his daughter and saw himself at eighteen, just as gung ho and raring to go.

"Hold on guys," Sam said weakly, still trying to get over his little choking fit. He took another large gulp of water. "Neither one of you see the problem here?"

Dean shook his head, his eyes getting that dangerous twinkle in them. "Only problem I see is that this demon messed with Team Free Will," he said brashly. He and Natalie didn't even need to look at each other and still nailed their high five perfectly.

"Damn straight," she said, grinning smugly. Sam gave her the same bitch face he always did when she swore, but chose to pursue a different path.

"Think about it," he said patiently. "This kid was killed by a demon…"

"Right."

"The kid who had a gun in his backpack."

"Yeah."

"And was planning on shooting up the school."

"So?"

"Since when do demons kill the BAD guys?"

"Oh."

Sam nodded his head as the other two contemplated. "Yeah, 'oh'. This is weird. It's like it's setting a trap for us. I mean, demons don't usually make national news."

Natalie, who had been biting her lower lip and thinking about what Sam said, shrugged. "Well, who knows. Slow news day, maybe. Maybe the kid was just possessed or something?" she offered.

Sam shook his head, looking chagrined. "There were no marks on the body. And you know as well as I do that a demon dying inside a vessel leaves definite traces, instead of just sulfur."

"Maybe it jumped meat suits?"

"And killed the kid on his way out, just for kicks?"

"Who knows. Demons are dicks."

"It still seems off. Something's not right about it."

Dean slapped his hands down on his thighs. "Well, only one way to really find out. Wheels up in an hour." He shoved the last fistful of bacon in his mouth as he stood up from the table, coffee in hand, and made his way to the shower.

*SPN SPN SPN*

Two days later, they pulled into Grand Haven. There was a definite bite in the chilly October air- much different from the warm, subtropical climate they just left. "I miss Florida," Natalie whimpered quietly to herself as they hastily made their way into their motel room after dinner.

"That's what you get for making us take a vacation," Dean said in a mock scolding voice. "Can't miss what you didn't have in the first place." Natalie just rolled her eyes good-naturedly at her father as she stuck her stiff hands close to the heater in the room.

They had spent the majority of the late afternoon looking around the town, trying to see if there was anything suspicious or out of place that would indicate demonic activity. Finding nothing, they quietly made their plan over dinner to don the Fed Threads and hit the police station in the morning.

"I hope we figure this out soon," Natalie said over her shoulder as her hands thawed. "I wanna kill something."

Dean didn't say anything. He knew that she was still young and full of cocky Winchester arrogance- truth be told, he knew EXACTLY where it came from- but it also made him grit his teeth a bit, hearing her say stuff like that. He had to remind himself that she was a legal adult now- that he should try to make an effort to treat her more like a grownup. At least according to Sam. Dean really didn't give two shits. Natalie was his child and always would be, so what was the difference? But Sam seemed to think it was all-important for her development and self-esteem and crap, so to keep his pain in the ass little brother quiet, he tried to play nice.

Oblivious to Dean's philosophical conundrum, Natalie whirled away from the heater. "I mean, it's been at least a month since we ganked something, right? Don't wanna get rusty."

Sam was hanging up his suit in the small closet off to the side. He shook his head at his niece with a wry smile. "Like you getting rusty is an option," he teased. "You're still jogging three miles every morning and hitting up every shooting range you can find."

"Yeah, but actually killing something is different, you know?" she said, teasing Sam right back, determined to get the upper hand for once. "Just watching the light leave some evil son-of-a-bitch's eyes…man, nothing like it."

Sam gave her his typical bitch face at hearing her language, to which she responded with a wide and sarcastic grin. "If I didn't know better, I'd say that you were happy that we've got a death on our hands," Sam said, a slight warning in his tone, indicating that she was about to go too far. But she was too revved up in her sadistic pleasure and drive to win the mini battle with Sam to notice the cautionary tone.

"It sucks that the kid died, sure, but it just means that I get to send one more evil asshole back to the broiler. Worth it," she said smugly.

"Alright, Natalie Grace, that's enough," Dean suddenly barked at her. Her lopsided, cocky grin immediately fell off her face as she looked over at her father, startled. He only used her middle name when she was really in trouble. Dean walked over to her casually, but his footfalls were strangely heavy. She wasn't fooled by his lackadaisical stroll. It was straight up meant to intimidate her. She had gotten it too many times, especially in her earlier teen years, to not recognize it now. Wilting slightly, she sat down carefully on the foot of the bed, her eyes never leaving Dean as he made his way towards her.

"You think this is funny?" he said in a low, controlled voice. "Some kid is dead, we don't know why, there's a demon running loose, and you're acting like this?"

Suddenly feeling like a bug on a hot plate, Natalie bit the inside of her lip. "I'm sorry, sir," she mumbled. "I wasn't really thinking. I was just…"

"Trying to get a rise out of your uncle," he interrupted her harshly. "And you know better than to do that, too."

"Dean," Sam said placatingly. "She didn't mean anything by it, she just-" Dean cut his little brother off with a look. Sam swallowed his words and went back to hanging up his clothes, feeling slightly guilty about the part he played in getting Natalie in trouble.

"I know that she was trying to make a joke, Sam," Dean said hotly, before turning his laser-pointer glare back on his daughter. "Just thought by now that she'd learn it's not a joke."

Natalie fidgeted uncomfortably. "You're right, Dad," she said quietly. "I know it's not a joke, and I shouldn't treat it as such. I'm sorry."

"Damn right it's not a joke. You watch your mouth about this kind of stuff. You hear me?"

"Yes, sir."

Dean just shook his head in exasperation, then made his way back towards the motel door.

"I'm going on a beer run," he announced to the room at large, before snatching his keys off the table and shutting the door firmly behind him. Once he was gone, Natalie relaxed her tense shoulders a bit, pursing her lips at the door, now that she was sure Dean wouldn't come back in and see her making faces at him. She sighed, exasperated.

"I tried to warn you," Sam chided gently. Outside, the Impala roared to life. Her tires screeched as Dean sped out of the parking lot.

Natalie rolled her eyes, more comfortable now that she was SURE Dean wasn't listening. "I didn't mean anything by it," she mumbled. "I was just screwing around. I mean…" She listened to the echoes of what she'd said in her mind, and instantly felt guilty. But there was just enough stubborn fight left in her to make her feel defensive, too. "Alright, yeah, I took it too far. But he KNOWS I was joking. He even said so himself."

Sam sat next to her on the bed, a look of compassion in his eyes. "Yeah, he knows. And I knew too. But that doesn't mean that certain things can be joked about." He watched his niece carefully, wanting her to get the message. He was afraid she might shut down, but instead, she deflated a bit. Just like she always did when she had misbehaved and was learning her lesson. Sam was grateful to see it; it let him know he was on the right track talking to her like this.

"You're right," she said, in a resigned voice. "I'm really sorry, Uncle Sam," she said anxiously, looking up into his eyes. "I really do know better than to take something like this too far. I…I guess I don't really know why I did it." She shrugged half- heartedly. She'd always been able to have a very frank and honest relationship with her uncle. Partially because he knew every time she was lying, but mostly because Sam let her express herself and talk through her feelings while being able to keep a close watch on his own. Natalie knew she could say anything to Dean as well- their bond was beyond words- but in moments like this when Dean wasn't always able to switch off the 'Dad' side, it was always Sam that she turned to.

Sam smiled patiently at her, playfully bumping her shoulder. "I'll tell you why," he said, grinning. "It's because you're exactly like your father." Natalie's confused expression met his eyes. "Dean doesn't admit it, but he used to be all cocky, just like that, when he was your age. And our dad had to rein him in a time or two. It's just been so long and Dean has seen so much since then, that the bravado has worn away."

"Oh," Natalie said, relieved and a little glad that she was still like her beloved father. "But don't you think that'd make him more apt to understanding why I was screwing around like that?"

"Like I said, Dean never really saw himself as cocky. He just thought he was awesome, and that was that," Sam said dryly, making Natalie snicker. "But having you around really changed a lot of his perceptions, Bug. First off, that kid wasn't much younger than you are now. And you know he's constantly worried about you."

Natalie couldn't help but roll her eyes at that. Dean was so overprotective sometimes, she was amazed that he'd ever allowed her to hunt in the first place. "And you know damn well he's got a good reason to be," Sam said softly, with intensity. That brought her back around immediately, making her squirm uncomfortably again. "What we do isn't safe. There's no guarantee that we're going to make it out of every case we encounter. Hell, all three of us have had so many close calls it's not even funny. That doesn't sit well with him, even though he knows that you're more than capable of handling yourself. If he didn't think so, he'd never allow you on a single hunt. You know that, right?"

Natalie nodded, grateful that even though she hadn't said the words aloud, Sam as usual was keeping pace with her exact thoughts. But he wasn't done. "Now combine that with the fact that the little girl who used to run to him during a thunderstorm, crawl into his lap to watch a movie, and color him pictures because she missed him every time he went to the store is now talking cold-heartedly about killing supernatural creatures." Even though they both knew she hadn't been truly cold-hearted about the whole thing, Natalie suddenly understood exactly what the whole thing had looked like from Dean's perspective. Great. Now she felt REALLY guilty.

"Crap," she said softly. "I guess I didn't see it that way."

"You're not supposed to. You're a kid," Sam said gently. Natalie shot him a bitch face on that one, and Sam held up his hands with a poorly covered smile. "Sorry- young adult. But the point still stands." Dropping the scowl, Natalie sighed again, the fight going out of her completely.

"You're right," she acquiesced. "But…I mean…you both know that I'm not really like that, right?"

"Of course we know."

"Okay. Good. I'll apologize to him again when he comes back too, just to make sure. I just don't want you to think that I'm a monster or something."

Sam put a loving arm around her shoulders and squeezed. "And that's the other reason he comes down hard on you when you say stuff like you did. It's really easy for hunters to forget their own humanity when they live like we live. Always on edge, never knowing just how much blood you're going to have to take in a day. Or how much blood of your own you're going to lose in the process. It makes losing your compassion, your sense of self, really easy. Neither of us want that for you, and when you say stuff like that, it's scary." He made sure he was looking her right in the eye. She was listening to every word he said, unequivocally.

"Humans can sometimes be worse than the most evil thing you've ever encountered. Don't forget it. Never underestimate the monster that could be."

*SPN SPN SPN*

The burst left her blind, as always.

It was getting familiar at this point- the hook up to the machines, the soothing tones, and the calming words. All designed to make her feel more comfortable. Which was pointless, considering what it was about to do. No amount of repetition would ever be enough to not be nervous in that second before he flipped the switch.

It wasn't unpleasant per se. Once the fire burned through her mind, it was, for lack of a better word, soothing. It consumed all that was in its path, leaving nothing but a blank, grey canvas. After the hellish landscape it had been, the dullness of the image the fire left in its wake was a relief to her ravaged mind.

It was that initial shock, though. That was the rough part. That first burst. Try as she might, she was never truly prepared for her brain becoming a lighting rod. It didn't hurt, but she didn't feel NOTHING either. It was hard to explain- like an out of body experience when she wasn't sure it was her body. She wanted to look down, observe the situation, make sure it was her in there, or out of there, or SOMEWHERE there, but that lightning bolt kept her trapped. The relief was too sweet for her to truly get annoyed- it was more of an interesting observation.

She floated in oblivion for a while, enjoying the release from the anxiety, the panic, the other words that smashed around inside her skull constantly. These moments of bliss were so rare that she had to capitalize on them while she was still aware. But soon- too soon- the other voice came. The one she had to listen to. She sighed, resigned, knowing that she had to focus on the calm right now to keep it going.

"Can you hear me?" the voice asked. It was pleasantly deep, sounding like a radio DJ who had a long and prosperous career ahead of him.

"Yes," she said, feeling her lips move even though she didn't quite remember giving them permission to speak.

"Do you remember the question?" the deep voice asked, gently, but insistently.

"Yes."

"And what's your answer?"

"Yes."

"Very good. Open your eyes. You know what you have to do."

She obeyed. Her eyes opened. They were solid black.