"Oh my god! This couch weighs at least…12 tons…yeah…" Deidara whined as he and Itachi hoisted their giant couch up the flight of stairs to the new home: apartment 413. This was not the best time for the lovely pool bound brunette to pass Itachi on the stairs…he dropped the couch and what happened next was a screaming mass of blonde hurtling down the staircase. Dediara flipped down the stairs with the couch sliding back down behind him. "Itachi you son of a biiiiiiiiiiitch, yeeeeeeeah! Aaaaaaagggggh!" Itachi paid no attention to this but instead was talking to the brunette beside him. Deidara managed to collide with Kisame who was carrying a stack of CD's and books, who then fell backwards into Zetsu who was carrying house plants and laundry detergent, laundry basket and pictures from the other apartment. Then Zetsu collided with Hidan and Kakuzu who were carrying the TV, who then nearly dropped the TV falling backwards into Sasori who had his arms full of refrigerated groceries…this was all over a brunette who Itachi discovered already had a boyfriend and was not interested in cheating on her boyfriend with the sultry dark haired angel…
42 minutes, 8 bruises, 19 trips upstairs and downstairs and 67 foul words later…
The seven of them were in their new home putting all their stuff into their respective locations. We'll start in the living room (which was much bigger than their previous living room).
"Hey, Deidara? Who is this knock out like 'oh my god' gorgeous blonde in this picture with you?" Kakuzu asked pulling all the 'classic moments' pictures from a giant box in the middle of the floor and arranging them in the entertainment center shelving. Dediara glared at him even though he had ice on his forehead from the earlier tumble down the stairs.
"That's my sister, yeah. My Dana." He answered dryly.
"Don't feel bad." Sasori said patting his back. "The first thing Itachi said when he met Dana was 'who the hell is that hot piece of ass' Deidara didn't share clothes with him or even talk to him for three days." With that Kakuzu positioned that picture extra carefully on the shelf.
"Oh my god! What the fuck! Why the hell does everything horrible always happen to me! My life is shit you know that! Oh my god! My world is just falling the fuck apart right now!" Yes, that was Itachi yelling from the new bedroom he and Deidara were moving into.
"Itachi! What is wrong with you man? Hey, did you forget your rage pills today? You can have one of mine." Hidan said placing a bunch of bananas in the banana tree on the counter ( the banana tree was Zetsu's doing).
"God…I'll tell you what's wrong. I can't find my hat anywhere! The hat with the danglys! I can't find it anywhere. God this is such shit!" Itachi was having one of his 'Itachi moments'.
"Itachi, did it ever occur to you that maybe your hat may be with ALL THE OTHER HATS IN THE BOX MARKED 'HATS WITH DANGLYS'!" Kisame yelled at him. Sasori opened the sliding glass door that was attached to the living room; it led out onto the spacious deck. His job was to arrange the patio furniture.
Zetsu was inside placing and watering plants while Kisame stocked the fridge and of course left to make a liquor run.
"Geez, you all have a lot of books! You must read all the time, but I have to ask…why is there post-it notes al throughout the Kama Sutra book?" Deidara rushed out of the bedroom with the ice still remaining on his forehead.
"You didn't open that book did you, yeah?" Deidara asked in a slight panic.
"No….why?" Hidan wondered.
"Um…well…it's a little hard to explain, yeah. Just don't ever try 37, 21, 5, 10, 19, or 70. I got hurt every time, yeah." Hidan was somewhat afraid to ask any further questions.
By early evening everyone had gotten their new home ready to be lived in! It would be time to celebrate on the deck with whatever Kisame brought back from the liquor place. The beds were neatly made (that is after Itachi and Deidara were done arguing over who got the Nautica sheets, yes the need for high end fashion extended to the home store).
Now, all 7 Akatsuki members were happily arranged on the deck with the beer that Kisame had returned with (believe me, they would drink anything!). It was at this point that Itachi noticed that the deck overlooked the apartment complex pool…and what a sight it was…
