Chapter Eighteen

Cole shimmered in just as the group at the auction had walked off. He reached up and plucked Carl off of the tent. "Hell of a mess here, isn't it? How did you manage to survive?" he asked Carl.

"Luck?" Carl returned with a grin. "But thanks, man! I swear, I think you must be the only one of this bunch who gives a damn about Gnomes! None of the rest of them would even look at me when I was asking to be let down!" He then let out a low whistle. "But, man, did I have a view of it when Faith ripped off her shirt!"

"I wouldn't advise you touching them, my friend. I know several men who she's cut the hands off of for just attempting. Suppose we walk around and see what we can find? I need to find Xena first."

Carl nodded. "She went that way," he said, pointing in the direction he had watched Autolycus and Xena go off in, "and don't worry. I'm a Gnome, not an idiot. Believe me, I want to keep both of my hands. That kid's sure gonna be in trouble, though."

"That kid's already in trouble," Cole said, knowing who Carl was talking about. "He's always been in trouble. Faith is just a new kind of trouble. We better keep an eye on him."

Carl nodded. "Yup. I didn't think it was only my sniffer telling me that he draws trouble like dogs draw fleas."

"Afraid so, my friend," Cole replied. "We've got a lot of people like that. We just have to keep our eyes open so that we can help them if they need us." He could see Xena just ahead of them, and he yelled at her. "XENA, HOLD UP! WE GOTTA TALK!"

Xena turned around and watched as Cole caught up with her. She looked down at Carl. "Go catch up with Autolycus and help him."

Carl wanted to ask if he had to, but for some reason, he had a strong feeling that he did not want to be anywhere near Xena when Cole told her whatever news he had returned with. Instead, he rushed after Autolycus.

When Carl was gone, Cole looked intently into Xena's eyes and spoke in a still, quiet voice. "She knows. She took it pretty damn hard. She ran off, probably to your cabin. I told you, Xena! You should have told her a long time ago, but no, you had to protect her! Well, the crap just hit the fan! You want me to take you to her?"

"Not till we get through here," Xena said. The news had stung her. "Who was the bloody bastard that told her?"

"It was not intentional," Cole said, "but Jack delegated her the job of putting the new people on the ship. Wolverine and she got into it. One thing led to another, and the truth came out as truth always does."

Not knowing where else to look, Xena looked down at her feet. "She'll hate me now. I did it out of love, but she'll hate me for it. Gods, Cole, I was so scared of losing her! I did my best to protect her! Only she won't see it that way. That's why I never told her. We've got to get through here and get back to the ship. I won't leave before we're finished. Gabrielle won't run away, not until we have a fight, and then I pray she won't leave me. Even if she hates me, it's better than not having her around."

Cole reached out a hand and gripped his Captain's shoulder. "It'll take a while, Xena, but I think things'll come right. Have patience, and have it out with her once and for all. Let her know how you truly feel. Show her the part of you that you keep hidden even from her. If you need a shoulder, I'll be there for you."

Xena's hand reached out and gripped Cole's shoulder. She returned the gentle squeeze. "Thanks, Cole. Let's get this over with." Together they turned back around and headed out for some of the tents to check for survivors.


There were dead bodies all around, and they thought they would never find any one alive. They glanced over at Carl and Autolycus a few times, noticing that they were busily covering the ground in search of survivors but were also collecting anything of value. It was then that they heard a weak cry for help, and Cole lifted the remaining parts of the tent. Trapped underneath were three half-naked women, chained and cowering together in a tight, shivering huddle. By some miracle, they were not burned.

Xena reached out a hand and helped one to her feet. She was about to reach for another when she felt a hand slide under hers and grasp the woman's, pulling her upward. She glanced up to see that Autolycus had arrived to lend a hand. Fire shot from her eyes as she warned him, "Do not even think of going there."

Autolycus had no intentions of moving on the women, but he only looked at Xena, letting her think what she would. Xena reached down and helped the other one up. There were no other bodies in the hole where the women had been kept, and as soon as the group was out of the way, Cole let the tent drop back.

Autolycus and Carl helped the women to get back to the designated area. The women appeared to be so exhausted that they feared they'd fall out at any moment. When they reached the spot, Autolycus said, "Sit here; rest." He looked around to see if he could find any water for them to drink but did not see any. The women had yet to speak a single word and only continued to stare at them with big, wild eyes that shone with fear and tears. "Carl, you stay with the women, and I'll get back to seeing what I can find."

Carl nodded. "Won't let anything get to them." He sat down on the ground beside them.


Lex had been talking to Clark the entire time they had been walking. He did not feel safe in pulling the shirt off and was relieved but not surprised that Clark had not asked him to. They came to a tent that looked like it had fallen but not burned, and Lex described to Clark what he was doing even as he let go of Clark's hand and lifted the tent. "There's something under here, Clark."

Lex had barely managed to raise the tent when they were attacked. Something little barreled right into Clark's chest. The surprise of the impact knocked him to the ground. "Lex?" Clark called out in a worried voice as tiny fists futilely pounded his muscular chest. They stopped as soon as they had stopped, however, and Clark knew that Lex had pulled his would-be attacker off.

Lex's hands were indeed full of a furious little package. He wasn't sure if it was a girl or a boy as he was too busy trying to keep it from biting him. He finally threw the kid away from him and yelled, "DOWN! STOP IT!"

Despite the impact of the fall, the kid had been about to launch another attack when Lex yelled at him. The kid stopped for a moment and looked at him. "I won't let you have her!"

"Have who?" Clark asked, drawing the kid's attention back to him.

"What happened to you, mister?" the kid asked, his voice revealing that he was a boy.

"An accident. I can't see."

The boy's gaze traveled between the two men as he considered them for a long moment before asking cautiously, "You're not with them, are you?"

"No," Clark said. "We're here to save you."

The kid reached out and touched him. "You already did save my sister."

"How?" Lex asked.

"They were taking her. They wanted her badly. I was fighting them, but they were grown-ups. We're just kids. That didn't stop them. They had thrown her on the ground and were about to take her when fire came out of nowhere and burned them all up. Thank the Gods for the fire! I think she's okay."

He reached around under a rug and pulled out a child smaller than he was. An ache filled Lex's heart to see the small child. He could not believe that some one was trying to mount her! Why, she was nothing but a baby! "We're not going to hurt your sister, son," he reassured the boy. "We're going to take you somewhere safe."

"There's more of us, mister." Both Lex's and Clark's hearts almost stopped beating in shock as the boy added, "They're in a cage over there." They could not imagine who would cage children, let alone rape them.

Lex braced himself and looked. He had expected to see children, but his eyes found a cage brimming over with cats instead. There were so many cats in the cage that he could not see how they could even move. "Clark, there is a cage over running with cats."

Clark was relieved that it was not children, but his sorrow for the prisoners and anger at those who had imprisoned them did not lessen. "Well, Lex, you know we have to take them with us."

"What are we going to do with all those cats?" Lex mumbled.

"We can't leave them here," Clark told him. "You know what's going to happen."

"Mister," the boy said, "I can be his eyes. He saved my sister. I don't know how he made the fire, but I know it was him. I saw it coming from him."

"That was the accident that happened to his eyes," Lex told the boy.

"My name is Julian, mister."

Although Clark could not see his love, he knew that Lex was choking on the boy's name for it was the name of the brother he had lost before ever getting to know him. He ached to be able to see him so that he might reach out and reassure him but knew he could not.

"My name is Lex," he told Julian when he had finally recovered enough to speak, "and this is Clark."

Clark reached out a hand to gently touch Julian. "We'll take care of you, Julian," he promised. "You want to be my eyes?"

"Yes, sir. I'll do my best. Sarah, come here," he said. "This is Clark and Lex. They will take care of us."

Clark didn't need his eyes to see that Sarah was terrified for she did not say a word but only clung to him like a small monkey. "You be our eyes, Julian, and I'll carry Sarah."

Julian was happy to get such an important job. He glanced over to see Lex struggling to pick up the cage, but even with his great strength, he could not lift it. Lex fell back in surprise when a voice came from the cage.

"Hey! Let us out of here!"

"You can talk!" Lex finally found his voice.

"Can't you?" a black cat retorted in a smooth but annoyed voice.

"Well, yes, but I'm human!"

"Yeah, well, so was I once upon a time!"

"But you're a cat now?" He sat on the ground and stared back at the cat in shocked disbelief. "Can you get the other cats to come?" he asked hesitantly. "We have to get out of here as quickly as we can. The whole town is going down tonight."

"It's about damn time! This town needs to be burnt, and those blasted bitches should be right in the middle of it!" he spat furiously.

"Bitches?" Lex asked.

"The Spellman bitches. That stupid Council sent me to live with them, but I couldn't stay there! I took everything I could stand off of them, but trying to sell me for stud service to humans was the last straw! They deserve to go down!"

"They what! What kind of humans go with cats!"

The black cat shook his head as his green eyes stared at Lex as though he were not even worthy of cleaning his paws. "You really are quite slow, aren't you?" he asked.

"Slow? No, I'm not! I just can't see -- ! You're just so small! How could any one want something that little?"

"It's not the size but how you use it that matters. You should know that."

"Yes," Lex admitted, still too shocked to realize the verbal blow that the cat had dealt him, "but you're a cat! Humans are bigger than you are! Wouldn't you just fall through!" He was trying to choose his words carefully so that the children would not know what was going on.

Clark could not help but to overhear. What would turn up next? Children so tiny they could almost be called babies and now cats! Gods, these people were sick! He no longer had any doubts about the town being destroyed. It was a modern day Helltown and deserved to perish. He only wished it had been at somebody else's hands.

The cat shook his head. "Look," he spat out. "I couldn't understand it either, but they did what they did and I'm tired of staying in here! Let us out before more of us die!" he demanded.

It was only then that Lex's attention was drawn to the dead cats that the others were having to stand on top of. He hurriedly broke the lock off with a rock he found nearby. "You'll be safe if you come with us," he told the black cat, "but even if you choose not to come, you can't stay here."

"We'll come with you," he answered. "I only hope you have suitable accommodations," he added with a disdainful sniff.

"Well, we're Pirates, and we live on a ship. There's plenty of room."

"Sounds good to me," the cat answered. "I always wanted to be a Pirate Captain."

"Well, we already have a good one of those," Lex said, "but I'll let him know that you're willing to help him with his job. Now we'd best move."

He started to walk out when the cat's voice stopped him. "There's more."

"Where?" Lex asked. The cat gestured with his head to deeper within another tent, and Lex realized that the tent that had fallen had only been the last in a row that had made up this dreadful place. Picking up his rock, he followed the cat. The rest of the cats walked, hobbled, and crawled as they attempted to make it outside to Clark and the children.

A thought occurred to Lex as he followed the cat. Since it talked, it might very well have a name. "By the way," he asked, "do you have a name?"

"Salem," the cat called back to him. "Salem Saberhagan."

Lex looked at the cat in surprise but did not speak again. As he continued to follow him, however, he could not help wondering why that name seemed so familiar.


Dawson had followed Faith, and they had entered the front of what looked to be the one remaining shop. It was hard to tell, because all the buildings were in tents. There seemed to be statues everywhere in cat and dog form, but it was the cats that drew his attention the most. They were darling, and he picked up several of them and offered one to Faith.

Faith had been working her way deeper into the tent and had not paid attention to what Dawson was doing. Feeling his eyes on her, however, she turned to see him holding out one of the statues to her. Her eyes flashed at the sight, and her stomach churned as she realized that he unwittingly held several more of them. "You don't want those," she told him, slapping his hands with such force that the statues were thrown from his grasp. They landed on the floor, and she actually cringed as the breaking sounds made her think of the crunching and shattering of animal bones and the memory of a kitten's pain-filled cry echoed in her mind.

"Why not? They're beautiful!" Dawson asked, angry that she had slapped his hands. "Just because you don't want something doesn't mean I don't want it!"

"Look, kid," Faith sneered, closing the distance between them in one long, purposeful stride. "If I do something, I've got a reason for it! Those statues you think are so beautiful? They're made from real cats! Cat bones, cat fur! Some probably even have real kitten eyes!"

He shook his head in denial even as his stomach wretched. "Who would do such a thing -- kill a live animal to make a statue?" He couldn't understand why. "Why?" he asked her.

"People don't care. Some might act like they do about this or that or another thing, but none of them really care about anything other than their own hides! Whoever made these didn't think twice about killing the animals, because they didn't care! They didn't care that they were killing a live being, because they knew they were making something pretty," she snarled out the word, "that would bring them a huge profit!"

It was at that moment that Dawson heard a sound of something moving behind Faith. "Look out, Faith! Behind you!" He reached out, grabbing her and trying to move her out of the way of whatever was coming.

Even as Dawson whirled her around, she snatched her knife out. She felt the whistle of wind as a blade passed just over her head and snaked her knife out blindly. It met its mark as it sliced through the merchant's stomach. Blood spurted out, and she knew she had hit something vital as the evil man grabbed his gut, fell to the floor, and did not move again.

It had all happened in a second, and she now found herself in front of Dawson, blood from the man having splattered his bare chest. Without thinking, she reached up a hand and rubbed at it, trying to remove the stain from his white skin. Dawson glanced down at himself even as he reached out toward Faith and pressed his own lips to hers in a heated kiss. He had fully expected her to toss him away when she deepened the kiss and he felt her hands running down his chest.

Dawson had surprised her when he had kissed her, and before she even knew what was happening, Faith had returned his kiss, her tongue sliding past his lips and deepening their kiss. The knife dropped, forgotten, from her hand as her hands ran down his chest. She continued to kiss him and even stepped on her own blade as she pushed him against the canvas of the tent. Her hands slipped further down and then began unbuttoning his pants.

Dawson breathed deeply of Faith. Finally, he was going to get a second ride, and he could hardly wait! Brendan was wrong! His tongue continued to duel with hers as his hands began to run up and down her body, pulling her even closer to him even as her heat threatened to melt him.

She had only unbuttoned a few of his buttons when her fingers slipped into his pants. Her fingertips had barely began to rub his eager sword when her ears caught an unusual sound. She tried to ignore it at first, but as the cats' mewing and dogs' barking became even louder, she slowly returned to herself. Her eyes grew wide as she realized what she was doing. Placing a hand on Dawson's chest, she quickly pushed herself away from him.

"What -- ?" The confused word stumbled out of his mouth. "Faith!" His body longed for her touch, and his sword ached for the race that was not coming. "Damn!" he muttered. Almost was not good enough! "What's the matter?"

Then he, too, heard the animals coming. That was when he realized that she was right about what she had told him, and he feared it was the ghosts of the animals coming after him. He waited with fear in his eyes to see the monsters appear. Several seconds later, he heard Lex talking, but still no animals had appeared.


"Keep going; we're almost there," Lex said, hoping that it was true and they would soon be out but instead they came to another open area where dead animals were hung and suspended in the air. He heard more mews and turned to see yet another cage. He knew that one would have been next. He broke the lock on that one, as well, releasing the animals. He glanced around at the torture chamber and wondered where its owner was, knowing that he would like to use the implements he saw hanging around on that owner.


Faith shook herself. "Sorry, kid," she told Dawson with a shrug of her shoulders that she instantly regretted from the pain that shot through her, "but I don't give second rides." Without another word to him, she turned and slipped through a flap in the tent that opened to another. She ducked just in time to avoid being hit in the head with a dog's swinging carcass. "Watch your head and your gut coming in here, boy!" she called back.

Dawson entered, not knowing what to expect. The blood and the cloying scent of death lingered in the air to the point that he didn't know if he could keep the bile down or not. What kind of monster ran this place? He knew it had to be a monster even though they had just killed what apparently was the owner. "Do you think we got the owner? What kind of monster could he have been to cause this?" Dead animals hung suspended in the air for as far as he could see. Blood dripped from some of their jugular veins, and Dawson's stomach churned even more as he saw the blood being caught in jars. His skin crawled with the intensity of the scene that was all around him.

"The worst kind," Faith called back to Dawson. "Human!" she spat the word. Her mouth was still open to say more when a weak meow met her ears. Faith looked up at the sound, and her eyes grew as round as saucers as she looked at the cat who still breathed shallowly. She had heard about the ones who were hung while still alive and left to die on the ropes, but she had never before encountered one.

To see the cat clinging to life in its last few seconds as it swung before her was bad enough, but as its faint blue eyes looked into her own eyes, she remembered another cat. Her skin paled, horror and fear filling her face, and she looked as if she was about to cry as a memory of the only being who had ever truly gotten close to her flashed through her mind. "Oh Gods!" she breathed. She did not want to have to kill the cat, but for the moment, the Lewis sisters did not even register and she feared she would have no other choice but to put it out of its misery.

Dawson reached out gently and held the rope even as his right hand cut the rope with the knife that Brendan had given him. "Catch her, Faith!" he called to her. Faith reached out instinctively at his voice and caught the falling cat just in time. Together they lowered the kitty to the floor. Once they had her on the floor, Dawson looked at Faith. "What can we do to save her?"

Faith was already shaking her head at his question. One hand lingered on the cat, but her other pulled out the knife that she had picked back up and slid back into its hiding place in her boot before leaving the first tent. She gripped the knife even as she looked up at Dawson, tears stinging her eyes. "We can't . . . " she whispered to him, her voice trembling even as she cussed herself for her weakness. "There's only one thing we can do, and that's end her suffering . . . "

Dawson shook his head in disbelief. "There's got to be more. We've got to do something, not just . . . " His voice trailed off. If it had to be done, he'd do it and not make Faith do it. He was just about to reach out and take the cat when a male voice split the air.

"Hold off, Dawson. The Lewis sisters can help the cat." Lex was about to ask Faith why she didn't think about the Lewis sisters when he saw the look on her face and did not even speak a word to her. He had never seen her so distraught. He hadn't even thought it was possible.

Tearing his eyes from Faith, he returned his attention to Dawson as he instructed, "Look for others. I'll take this one outside. Cole should be back by now. He can shimmer her to the ship."

Lex very gently picked the cat up and was about to take her away when he heard Faith. "Luthor, if you tell anybody about this," she knew she did not need to indicate what it was and that he would know she meant her foolish, weak emotions that she hated herself for, "I'll gut you."

"Don't worry, Faith. I'll do what I can, but I won't tell anybody." The cat seemed like a very fragile shell in his hands, and he toted her outside, blinking for a moment when the sun hit him full in the face. He glanced around hopefully and finally spotted Cole.

Cole, knowing that he was needed, rushed forward and took the kitty who seemed as though she was about to wilt and completely die but still managed a weak meow. Lex told him, "Get her help and return. There may be more." Cole nodded and shimmered.
Arriving at the Witch, Cole laid the fragile life at Celina's feet. "There may be more," he said as he shimmered out.

"Goddess!" Celina breathed even as she dropped to her knees before the cat. She chanted in an alien language and held her hands out to the cat. The warmth passed through her and into the cat, slowly reviving the small feline. As she became healed, Celina turned her head to look for her husband. "Morph, you heard him. Go get Katrina! We may need her depending on how many he brings!"

"Tom," Morph said, looking at his friend who Celina had not even noticed, "you'd best tell Katrina and get moved over here to the Witch. I'll help you."

Tom nodded, and the two raced from one ship to the other. As they headed down into the sleeping quarters, Morph held back as Tom went to wake his wife. He shook her gently while calling her name. "Katrina?"

Katrina opened her eyes and gazed into the face of the man she loved. "What's wrong, Tom?" she asked.

"Well," he spoke slowly, forcing a grin onto his lips, "I've got good news and bad. The good news is that we finally did it, love of my life," he threw the phrase in in hope that she would go lightly on him.

"Did what, Tom?" she asked.

"We get to move over to the Witch. You can finally be with your sister all the time again!"

"But why, Tom?" Katrina asked. "What did you do to Jack?" She knew instantly that it had be something with the Captain, because he had been so adamant about keeping them there in case of attack.

"There's a new healer," Tom tried at first, "so he doesn't have to have us over here any more."

"And he just let us go to the Witch out of the goodness of his heart? Yeah, right!" she said, sitting upright. "What did you do?"

Tom hung his head, not wanting to see the anger that would come into her eyes. He had never been afraid of Jack, but he did fear upsetting his beloved. "I put cat's claw in his rum."

"TOM! You didn't!" she said distressfully. "You could have made him impotent!"

"I only used a little bit, just enough to make him sick from the rum, but not any long-term effects. Besides, Katrina, you said it yourself! Somebody had to do something," Tom defended himself, "and nobody else would!"

"Did it work?" she asked hopefully.

He sighed, still not raising his eyes to hers. "I don't really know, but I doubt it. I had to try, though."

"It's all right, husband dearest," she said as she touched her nose to his. "I wanted to be with Celina, but I didn't want to leave Jack high and dry. He's been such a help to us. I just wish we could help him."

"We could try more cat's claw," Morph suggested from the steps.

"No more cats' claw!" Katrina commanded. Returning her attention to Tom, she asked, "Did you apologize?"

"No," Tom admitted, "and I'm not going to. I did it to help him. I'm sorry if it upsets you, sweetheart, but I absolutely refuse to apologize for attempting to help a friend who's too foolish to help himself!"

"Not foolish, my dear," she reminded. "Just heart-broken. His nightmares are so awful, and the pain in his heart is so great! I wish there was something that we could do to help him, but we can only watch and wait. There will come a time."

Tom looked up at her, questions shining in his green eyes. Nightmares? Pain in his heart? What did Katrina know that he didn't? He wanted to ask, but remembering Celina reminded him that they might well not have the time. Lifting one of her hands, he kissed it gently. "Katrina, love, I know you're tired, but we've got to get over there to the Witch for more than just that. You're probably going to be needed. It looks like the group that went to help Jack with Will found even more than they suspected. It looks like they found a . . . " His voice trailed off. Just what could he call such a place?

"A murder shop from Hell," Morph supplied.

Katrina nodded, gathered her stuff quickly, and handed several gunny sacks of things to Morph and Tom. "Then let us be over quickly. There's no telling what has already occurred." She led the way to the Witch.


Dawson was trying hard not to let Faith know that he was very upset with her for the way that she had treated him but not for the way that she had almost come unglued with the cat. He was now making his way slowly around the tent, checking the hanged bodies, cutting them down, and laying them to one side. Their blood ran down, mixing and mingling with the blood that was already on his body. He did not even know how much was his own blood.

He had not been surprised to see Lex, but he had been surprised at the entourage that came with him. Able-bodied cats were following in his wake along with Clark and two kids. The cats had spread out, sniffing for other survivors, when suddenly one of them opened their mouth. "There's one right here!" a black cat called.

Dawson was frozen to the spot and his eyes glued to the cat. The cat was talking! He raced over to the cat, looking at it in stunned awe. "You can talk?" he asked.

The cat shook his head in disgust. "Why does every one find that such a marvel? Of course I can talk! Now get that cat down before I put a claw in your rear, son!"

"Yes, sir," Dawson said, "but cats usually don't talk." He cut the cat down, easing it to the floor and calling for Cole. Cole gathered this one up and shimmered it to the Witch, leaving it laying at Katrina's feet and returning instantly to the shop.

Katrina knelt down and ran her hands just above the kitty, praying to Bast and chanting. The cat grew well, got up, and scampered off to join the other rescued animals that Cole had already been shimmering in.


It did not take them long to canvas the room, rescuing those they could, cutting the other dead ones down, and laying them side by side. All in all, they rescued six cats and one little dog from the hanging bodies. Cole shimmered each of the tiny bodies to the Lewis sisters and returned to the shop. The Lewis sisters healed each as they were delivered to them.

Dawson, meanwhile, got to wondering where Faith had gotten off to. He went in search of her only to find her sitting between two piles of dead animals and holding one of the dead kittens, rocking back and forth and talking to it even as her hand lovingly stroked its bloodied fur. Damn! Dawson thought to himself. I've got to get her out of here! She needs to breathe fresh air and see the ones that were saved.

"Faith?" he called to her as he walked up to stand beside her. "Let me have this one. We have saved a few, and we are ready to go." He reached down and gently took the animal from her. Only then did he see her tears. "Faith?" He stroked her hair with a bloodied hand. "Sorry for all the blood." She still had not responded to him, and he reached down, taking her hand and pulling her to her feet. "It's time to go home, Faith," he said gently.

"No," she whispered in a small voice, trying to pull her hand out of his. "I can't. I don't have a home."

"Yes, you do. The ship. She's waiting for you. I'll take you home."

"Ship?" she asked, confusion crossing her face. She blinked, trying to see past the tears, and as she made out his face, the sight of Dawson brought her slowly back to herself. "Damn!" she muttered, realizing what she had so foolishly allowed to happen.

He was glad to see her returning to her normal self; he didn't know what to do with a weak, docile Faith. "Ready to go?" he asked.

She scrubbed at her eyes, furious at herself for crying. Her fingers left blood behind in their wake, but she did not even notice it. She nodded instead but added, "But don't you dare tell any one about this."

"Why would I?" Dawson asked. "It's nothing to be ashamed of."

"The Hell it isn't! I wish I could rip out these damn eyes!"

"Stop talking like that, Faith." He wanted to add 'You're scaring me', but he didn't. "The little ones will need you. Let's go." He had not released her hand and began to pull her back to where the other people were when she suddenly dug in her heels.

When she snatched away from him, Dawson was stunned. She ran from him, and he followed until they reached the body of the dead shopkeeper. She still did not speak as she picked the corpse up, turned, and started to drag it back the way they had come. Dawson picked up the feet without a word. He didn't know where they were going, but whatever Faith wanted or needed to do, he'd help her. Together, they strung the man up, still not speaking. When Dawson turned, however, she was gone again.

"Watch out!" she called to him. He moved out of the way, not knowing what to expect, and almost screeched when a hook came flying out of nowhere, landing in the gut of the guy they had just strung up. She filled the corpse with hooks that she kept throwing at him as though he was a target. Dawson got out of the way and went back to where the other people were, sick to his stomach.

"Thought you were bringing Faith back?" Carl piped up questioningly.

"Don't ask!" Dawson said and ran outside the tent where he threw up. "She'll be here in a minute," he said when he finally returned to the group.

Lex was glad that Clark could not see what had happened, but he was sorry that the children saw it. "Time to go," he called out, trying to force cheer into his voice and almost succeeding. He'd tell Clark most of it later but not where the kids could hear. Clark followed Julian outside where Cole waited.

Cole looked around, waiting for all the others to get back to the designated area where he began to shimmer them, one at a time, back to the Pearl. When he returned the last time, Faith was waiting. She was covered in blood that he didn't dare even ask about. "Ready?" he asked, and at her nod, he shimmered her home to the Witch.

He appeared before the Lewis sisters, leaving Faith and telling them that she was the last one. He walked away without looking back, allowing Faith a chance to get some healing if she wanted it. The Lewises looked at Faith, and Faith looked at them, neither of them wanting to make the first move. Finally, Katrina asked, "Will you let us help you?"

Faith shook her head. She wanted to be flippant with them, but as she could see that they had healed the animals, she knew she could not be . . . not quite yet, any way. "I don't need anybody's help," she retorted instead and turned away, heading down into the sleeping quarters instead.

Katrina watched her as she left, wishing that there was some way that they could breech her defenses and that, by some miracle, the girl would let them help her but knowing that it was likely never to happen. Celina, looking up at her sister, shook her head. "It's no use even thinking it, Katrina. I'm only surprised she didn't cuss you out like she always does me."

Katrina nodded. "I think she was glad we helped the animals, but I wish she'd let us help her."

"I'm surprised she even cared," Celina admitted, "but she did . . . a lot."


Xena arrived outside her cabin door and was not surprised to find all of her stuff thrown outside. She tried the handle, but it was locked. She knocked on the door, calling to Gabrielle, but no answer came. She rushed the door with her shoulder only to find that not only was it locked but barricaded as well. "GABRIELLE," she yelled, "LET ME IN!" She hollered and called her name until she became hoarse, realizing that Gabrielle could hear her but that she wasn't going to let her in.

Inside the cabin, Gabrielle continued to scribble furiously on a scroll. Tears ran down her face and dropped onto the paper, smearing her ink, but still she continued to write. It seemed that Xena would simply not get the message and go away, and finally in sheer desperation, Gabrielle called back to her, "WHY DON'T YOU GO GET WOLVERINE! IT'S HIM YOU WANT, ANY WAY!"

Xena motioned to Cole. "Get me in there!" Cole shimmered her in quickly and then just as quickly shimmered back out.

Xena glanced around the empty room. "Gabrielle?" she called to the air. She saw the scroll, walked over, looked down at it, and read. Stains from both blood and tears smeared the ink, and Xena's fear grew as she saw the blood. Her lover's words chilled her heart far more, however, as they were full of longing to die because she had lost Xena's love and had no other reason to live.

I've been almost hung.
I've been burned.
I've been left for dead,
Hurt and bleeding.
I've lost others I've loved.
But nothing's ever felt like this before.

No one ever meant to me
What you'll always mean to me.
No one ever touched me
The way you have.
No one ever brought out
So much in me before.
No one ever meant to me
What you'll always mean to me,
But no one could have ever hurt me
As much as you have.

No betrayal could have stung as much.
No loss of love,
If ever you did indeed love me,
Could have hurt so much,
Could have left me with
This red-hot pain,
This empty, burning ache inside.
Nothing could ever be worse than
This pain of losing you,
Of never really having had you.

I would rather have been burned alive,
My skin flayed from my body,
My bones crushed while I still breathed.
I would rather have died a million deaths
Than ever lose you, ever lose our love,
But it never existed.

That pain hurts most of all,
The pain of knowing
That you never loved me,
That it was all a lie,
That every time you kissed me,
Every time you caressed me,
Every time we made love,
You were just acting, just lying,
Just using me for Gods only know what purpose.

There's not a lot of things
That we can choose in this life.
We can't choose who we fall in love with
Or make them love us in return.
We can't choose rather or not to feel,
To be loved or to be hurt,
But we can choose
To end that pain.

And nothing could be worse
Than this pain of losing
The love I only imagined,
The love you only pretended to give to me.
I'll never know why,
But at least,
this pain will sto

Tears so filled Xena's eyes that she could not even tell that Gabrielle had not completed her final word. Hearing the whistling of the wind, she looked up at the open window her beloved had escaped through even as she bit back the sob that rose in her throat. She had to get to her! She had to stop her, some way, some how, for she knew that if she did not do so soon, the love of her life, the one woman who meant more to her than anything else ever had or even could and who she would have given her very soul to protect, would take her own life. "Gabrielle . . ." The miserable whisper of her beloved's name echoed in the cabin.

To Be Continued . . .