A/N: The truth is I do have more important things to do with my time than write Even Stevens fanfiction, but I enjoy writing this story and enjoy hearing back from my readers-- so this is a big thank you to those of you who review regularly! Thank you, thank you, thank you! To any lurking readers-- trust me, I will update much more frequently the more reviews I get. I'm not inclined to update if I don't get any feedback-- both positive and negative (hopefully no 'this story sucks' but 'you could dosuch-and-such better' or 'such-and-such doesn't seem believeable' constructive criticism, you know. The best reviews, either good or bad, are detailed ones, not just the ol' 'great job! update soon!' or 'ya suck, yer a fag'...though they don't have to be very long, just explicit...let me know what you like, what you don't, your reactions...make this worth my while maybe). Anyway, thanks again to the regular reviewers! Now, onto the next chapter...
Chapter 15
As hard as I tried I couldn't force myself to be attracted to Stacy, but nevertheless I stayed with her. She was a nice girl and I wasn't at all interested in going back to my pre-Ren, one-night-stand days, or dating a bunch of people who bored me to death. She would have to do. She would do. I don't know how many times I had to repeat this to myself. We spent most of the time together at school and I was running out of imaginary after-school activities and chores I had to do to keep her from coming over every day. Sweet as she was, she was a little clingy—not that Ren hadn't been possessive.
Anyway, Valentine's Day arrived and we went on our second 'official' date. Just the two of us this time, no Amy present to observe my behavior.
"This place s really nice, Stacy," I said as we entered the restaurant she'd chosen. It was a slightly upper-scale Italian place downtown. I'd wanted to go there for a long time, but it was pricy and, well, Ren wouldn't take me out in public. I figured the night would go smoothly, Stacy talking and me feigning to listen, and all with Italian food—my favorite. Ren knew that.
One weekend, when her parents were our of town for their anniversary, and Louis was on a trip with Twitty, Ren had invited me over and surprised me with a romantic candlelit dinner for two. Terribly cliché , but sweet, and all Italian. She made it for me herself. And I noticed her deliberate efforts to use Garlic as minimally as possible—always a good sign. Now that I think about it, I believe that night included our second kiss…
"Well, it's Valentine's Day, you have to go all out…" Stacy smiled, kissed me lightly on the cheek.
The waiter led us to our table and seated us. Nothing on the menu seemed reasonably priced, and I decided that even if Ren had been willing to take me out in public, she'd never have taken me here, unless it was a very special occasion. We both agreed that Valentine's Day wasn't special, it wasn't personal at all. It was another surprise from her as far as I was concerned. She seemed like the kind of girl who'd get all gushy about things like Valentine's Day, you'd think one as conventional as her would, but no. She thought it was the worst day to show someone how much you loved them because there's no surprise, it's like 'it's Valentine's Day so you have to do something romantic' as opposed to 'hey, it's Tuesday I think I'll surprise her with something romantic'.
Here Ren would be complaining all the while about how overpriced it was—which may seem like an annoyance, and I'm sure it would be at the time, it's really one of those things you miss in someone when they're no longer yours. You miss every little thing about them, even those things which aggravated you to the extreme.
Dinner went as expected and afterwards, we went for a walk through the city park. We were strolling arm-in-arm, Stacy babbling on about something or other, when my eyes locked with Ren's.
She was sitting on a bench, under the streetlight, reading—a strange choice of locations for the activity at this hour, but I digress—she'd looked up from her book just in time to see me there with Stacy. Though I can't imagine what she'd expected me to do after she told me there was nothing in store for us, she seemed shocked to see me there with someone, with another girl, obviously on a date.
I stopped in my tracks, quickly pulling my gaze from her, lest Stacy follow it. I regained composure and next thing I know, I'm pulling Stacy in for a passionate kiss. I can be so vindictive I make myself sick, and it happens almost unconsciously.
Stacy said something after I pulled away but I didn't hear her, I was checking Ren for her reaction.
She was walking in the opposite direction, quickly, one hand tightly gripping her book and the other rubbing the back of her head. She glanced back at me for a second and I could see that she was feeling the same gut-wrenching pain that I was. And I hurt ten-times worse than before knowing I'd done that to her.
I don't think Stacy ever saw Ren there, and the rest of the date when quite well, ending oh-so-conventionally with her dropping me off on the front porch.
The next day at school, however, Ren approached me.
I can't say I wasn't startled, she rarely talked to me in public when we were going out and even less so after the Black Day.
"What are you doing?" She asked, angrily.
"What are you talk--"
"You and Stacy Morris." She mumbled.
"What about it?" I replied, equally weak in tone and mood as her.
"I thought… I mean…" she struggled to find the words before regrouping and lashing out at me. "You're pretty fucking fast, Tawny."
I didn't say anything. She swore again… and she was talking to me.
"And you saw me there last night and you… you…kissed…her. You did it in front of me. Why would you do that to me?" Her voice cracked, and I could tell she wanted to break down right there, but she held herself together.
"I'm sorry, Ren. I didn't mean to," I can't begin to imagine how lame I must've sounded.
"You didn't mean to?" she didn't buy it for a second.
"No, I did…at the moment…I… I don't know why I did it, Ren. I saw you and I was really…upset all of a sudden and so I kissed her. I… I did. I wanted to hurt you right then, but I regretted it immediately, and I still do. Because I don't want to hurt you. I was just so shocked to see you there and then… I didn't think."
She was silent awhile, unforgiving. "You and her… are you…um…"
"We've gone on a couple dates…"
She nodded, and hung around for only a moment more. "Later, Tawny."
I left school early that day, knowing I was ready to break down myself.
