A/N: So, I just reread my story to refresh my memory and all… I've got to say I've made some horribly annoying typos. It's quite embarrassing. And in some essential places too! sigh I don't know why I felt like informing you of this because I'm sure you noticed them too. Imperfection is much easier to find than its opposite. And another note: I'm not familiar with the geography of California so I could very well be altering it here, but hey, this is fiction, no?
Chapter 17
Doing the whole 'just friends' thing seemed like it was going to be a lot harder than it ended up being. I had thought it would be awkward, that my feeling for Ren would interfere—in fact, shortly after our conversation on the matter had ended, I'd began to feel upset, figuring that Ren was obviously over me otherwise she wouldn't have been able to try for friendship.
However, it worked out quite nicely after all. We started talking and hanging out again—we ate lunch together a few times, sometimes with Stacy there too. Ren didn't seem quite as open to me as she'd been before, but that was to be expected. She seemed completely ok with the idea of Stacy and me and was in fact very supportive of it. But I've never been sure if this was sincere or if she was just pretending. The latter seemed more fitting given the situation. Regardless, it was good because Stacy was growing in favor with me too.
Ok, well, 'growing in favor' makes it sound so platonic. And it was anything but. After a few more dates, we'd slept together, and I was becoming increasingly fond of hanging out with her. To be honest, I willingly hung out with her more than I did with Ren, which was the exact opposite of what I'd thought would happen. I had assumed that I would've been too distracted by Ren to give Stacy a fair chance, she was after all, just supposed to be my rebound girl. But Stacy managed to land me in her own right, in spite of Ren. And what's more, she had no problem with Ren and I hanging out. She was well aware of our history but she wasn't about to impose any rules on me and seemed genuinely ok with us being friends—I mean, in TV shows things like this always happen and the new partner always says they're ok but the viewer can tell that they aren't and the other character is always painfully oblivious but I truly think she was ok. If she wasn't, she was damn god at hiding it. I should make it clear that I didn't discuss Stacy with Ren.
All of this happened within the course of two weeks which seemed strange. I'd gone from being completely miserable to feeling great. Everything in my life seemed so perfect. I felt that I'd gotten over Ren entirely, had really moved on to Stacy. But in addition to this I had my best friend back in Ren. I also heard, though I never got Ren to confirm it, that she's moved on too. She'd messed around with a few girls, nothing serious, but I'd consider it progress for her. She seemed happy, but she'd always been harder to read than most… at least for me. So I wasn't certain on anything about her true feelings but I told myself she was happy. It made it easier for me, I think.
So, I was in high spirits near the end of the month, school had let out and it was spring break. Stacy took me out to the drive-in movie theater where they were playing Baz Luhrman's Romeo+ Juliet. I wasn't thrilled about the movie choice, I may have been over Ren but that didn't mean I needed to be reminded of things like that. We'd watched that movie on our last weekend together, as a couple. I didn't think I'd ever be able to watch it again without thinking of her in a way that I couldn't help at times… I didn't mention this to Stacy and pretended to enjoy the movie with her. We didn't spend that much time watching anyway. Stacy understood the purpose of movies on dates, Ren never had, or so it seemed.
But I couldn't help wondering why, if I really liked Stacy and was completely content to just be friends with Ren, I couldn't get her out of my head. I might not have always pulled up melancholy images, but it seemed everything evoked some memory of her. I simply suspected that maybe on a subconscious level I wasn't over her yet, but I would be soon, I insisted silently to myself. I was with Stacy now and I was much happier with Stacy. Sure, I wasn't in love with her. But everything was more enjoyable and there wasn't the dark cloud hovering over the relationship like there always seemed to be with Ren. And, as I've said, Ren seemed happy too. I honestly don't know what I'd have done if Ren had showed up on my doorstep wanting to get back together. I was happy with Stacy now, but Ren…well, she was still Ren. At least part of me held her apart from everyone else and that part was bound to have sway.
Anyway, after the movie we went over to my place. My parents were out of town, again, so it seemed the thing to do. As soon as we shut the door we set about slowly making our way up to my room, stopping for several interludes along the way. I pushed open the door, and we were kissing when we slipped inside.
The clearing of a throat interrupted us.
I whirled around, startled to see Louis sitting on my bed. "What the-- ?"
"I'm really sorry," the words raced out of his mouth. "But I just needed to know if you've seen Ren lately?"
"What?" I was having difficulty taking everything in but I figured that he'd let himself in using the key under the front porch, I was pretty sure he knew where it was.
"She left for school this morning but no one has seen her since. My mom called the school because Ren had left her backpack and all her stuff, which seemed strange but she figured… I don't know… but they told her she hadn't come to any of her classes and now it's midnight and we still haven't found her. And it goes without saying that it's not like her to skip school or go anywhere without leaving a note or something, you know?"
"Have you called her cell?" Stacy asked.
"She left it at home, with all her stuff. As far as we know she has the car and that's it. Well, and the keys…I mean, my mom was really freaking out at first…she thought she'd been kidnapped or something… but now it looks more like she left of her own accord, since she left everything. I mean that would be a pretty convenient coincidence for a kidnapper if that were the case."
"But why would she leave?" I asked, still struggling to digest what he'd said.
"I don't know, I just came from Ruby's and she has no clue either. She says she hasn't seen or heard from Ren since yesterday during sixth period. So when was the last time you saw her?"
I scratched my head and tried to remember, my heart was pounding in a way I knew it wouldn't have for Stacy. At a time like this I still couldn't help making the comparisons… "Yesterday, I saw her during lunch. But I haven't actually talked to her since…Tuesday, I think."
"Ok," he replied, nervously. "I'm going to head home. Call if you hear from her or something…"
"Of course," I replied, quietly.
He slipped by us, hurried down the stairs, and let himself out.
"Why would she just up and leave? That doesn't sound like Ren at all…" I could hear Stacy speaking behind me. She was still in my room, though I'd moved out into the hall.
Why would Ren leave? And where would she go? But the idea came to me soon enough. I couldn't be certain, but Ren had taken me there once, before we ever dated.
Amy had held a party at her uncle's house once and he lived about an hour and half outside the city, up in the mountains. Ren apparently had been in the area before for some reason or another and after one of her meltdowns—the 'trying to get the guts to do more than just kiss another girl' meltdowns—she'd wanted to leave the party early and so we did. But instead of going straight back to Sacramento, she'd made me pull off on an old road and drive up to this strange clearing. We got out and walked a little ways through the field and came to the shores of a lake. The water was black and rough from the wind. The day had been overcast but for some strange reason there were no clouds over the lake. Just a circle of clear sky with the stars glittering through. She told me that the clouds rarely seemed to come over the lake, at least they never did in all the times she'd been up there. She said she went there when things weren't right.
"I might know where she is," I said, turning to Stacy.
"Well why didn't you say anything?"
"No, I just realized it. I have to go and see though," I turned away from her. "It would be too difficult to describe it to the Stevens. I'm not good at giving directions. So I'll just go. I'll have my cell and I'll call if she's there. No need to get there hopes up if she's not."
"Ok, well, let's go," she gestured toward the door.
"You shouldn't come."
"What?"
"Something is obviously wrong and if I do find her I'm sure she won't talk if you're there."
Stacy seemed startled by this. "Does she not like me?"
Probably not, I thought. "She doesn't know you. Would you talk about something that was really bothering you to someone who's almost a complete stranger?"
She nodded. "Alright, but be careful. It's late. There's a lot of creeps out now."
I nodded back and made to leave. She tried to kiss me goodbye and I gave her the cheek, not even realizing I did so until I was out the front door.
