A/n: So took me long enough eh? Chapter 5 is here, i finished it last night. Had most of it finished but I got a job and School became an overload and i decided to become very social all of a sudden. But you know, being social only lasts so long so here i am with chapter 5, and i missed writing this story, so i believe chapter 6 will be coming shortly.
Disclaimer: JK own all.
Regret is a horrible thing. It could be as simple as something like not buying an ice cream on a hot day or not saying something you felt to a close friend. However, when you're not doing anything other then lying on a hard mattress in a life or death situation, regret becomes overwhelming.
This is how Hermione felt now. Her eyes were closed and she was trying to keep her breath from going irregular as she thought of the mistakes she'd made. 'Stupid Granger!' Her mind howled at her. 'You should have known to pay more attention to your initial instinct, that damn animagus cat. I'd kick it if I could.'
Hermione had no idea where she was, the only thing she could think about was that it was probably a death eater who caught her and that she'd probably die a slow painful death.
And she had let the entire order down by being caught.
Not to mention Harry and Ron.
She wanted to cry more then anything. But she didn't think an unconscious person would cry, and since that was what she pretended to be, she stayed silent.
"Miss. Granger," A deep velvety voice reached her ears. "I know you're awake."
Hermione's eyes sprung open as she heard the familiar voice. She wished her eyes were glued shut; in fact she wished she was anywhere other then in this room right now.
Sitting in a chair near the end of the bed she was occupying was none other then Severus Snape.
She was completely shocked into silence, and he said nothing. He looked the same, mostly. His skin seemed slightly paler, if that were possible and his eye were still as black as coal. He had his hair tied back with a ribbon and his elbows rested on each arm of the chair, his fingers were steepled just below his chin.
This was Professor S. Snape.
Traitor, killer…Recovering from her shock, Hermione did the first thing that came to her mind; she lunged at him with a battle cry.
All she knew was that she was scratching and slapping and hitting the man who had been her Professor for six years, the man who had called her names of all sort, who had humiliated her in class, who had…
Killed Albus Dumbledore.
"Enough," She heard him say in stern tones, and he pushed her off easily, she realized he'd never hit her back, not once. Recovering herself she jumped up and reached for her wand, only to realize it wasn't there, and that his was pointed between her eyes.
He looked calm, even though his clothes were in disarray, his hair was a mess and he had scratch marks along his cheek.
"Miss Ganger," he said softly, as if he was trying not to scare her. "Please refrain yourself from attacking me. I'm not going to hurt you."
She heard herself laugh coldly and couldn't believe that it had come from her. She had never heard anything so disbelieving and spiteful.
Snape suddenly looked pained and tired. Like he had aged 100 years since she had last seen him.
"Miss Granger," He tried again. "I'd just like to talk to you. There are a few things that need to be straightened out and I thought of all people you'd be the most reasonable at this time."
"So you kidnapped me?" She bit out.
"Would you have talked to me if I had come to your flat?" He asked her.
"Well no, I definitely wouldn't of…" She stopped. "How do you know I have a flat?" She watched as Snape pinched the bridge of his nose and sat back down in his chair.
"Will you promise you'll listen to what I have to say? Here –" He reached into one of his pockets and pulled out her wand. "To show you that I'm not here to hurt you, I'll give you your wand back."
Hermione hesitated; she had no idea what to do. Should she hear this man out? Why should she? She had no reason what so ever to trust him.
"Why?… Why should I trust you?" Snape didn't hesitate.
"You shouldn't trust me. From what you know you have no reason to, it's from what you don't know that you should, Miss Granger. I have information that can help the Order, just let me explain a few things."
Not trusting her voice Hermione nodded and took her wand, she was then surprised to see Snape drop his purposely on the ground.
"There is a lot to explain and a lot that you'll have questions about. I only ask that you'll listen to everything first, and then ask your questions."
Hermione nodded and Snape began his tale about unbreakable oaths, promises and a whole lot of things which were giving Hermione a headache. When he had finished, he looked at her expectantly.
"How do I know you're not lying through your teeth, Professor?" Hermione asked quietly. "How do I know you're not just making this all up to gain my trust and worm your way back into the order, to kill us all off slowly?"
Snape stood and walked to the dirty fire place in the corner of the room, he rested his arm on the mantel and seemed to be deep in thought.
"Have you ever had to kill someone, Miss Granger?" His voice was quiet, so quiet she could barely hear him but she detected unmistakable pain in that voice. The sudden question startled her.
"N-no." He didn't reply immediately, his eyes were fixed on something only he could see.
"I have killed two people in my life Miss Granger, and one of them was my closest and only friend. The only person I could trust." He stopped and closed his eyes briefly and Hermione's stomach knotted up, she could see the sorrow and guilt coming from this man. It filled the room.
"There is no reason you should trust me Miss Granger. I've told you what happened, why I had to kill Albus. Now I have the information that we've always needed to take down the Dark Lord. All I can do is beg you to listen to that information."
Then Snape did something Hermione did not expect. He got down on his knees and bowed his head before her. His tied hair fell down his shoulder exposing the back of his neck. Hermione stood stalk still.
She did not miss the symbolism here, a proud man who was once her teacher and superior in everyway bowing before her. A Mudblood, a Gryfindor.
She took a shaky breath.
"A-Alright, I'll hear you out."
His head shot up in disbelief and his black eyes bore into her brown ones. He looked shocked, like he never believed she was going to accept him.
Hermione closed her eyes and swallowed she reached her hand down to help him up.
He looked so vunerable as he took her hand and all he did was stare at her. She felt like nothing more then a gawky teenager from his observations and she could tell her cheeks were getting hot.
"Thank you, Miss Granger." He said with those rich tones. She nodded.
At that moment there were three hurried knocks on the door and they could hear footsteps shuffling quickly away.
"We are out of time," Snape said quickly, grabbing his wand and returning it into his pocket. "We'll have to meet again Miss Granger, do not worry, I will find you. Take this." He shoved a chipped mug into her hands, and before she could ask what it was for he tapped it with his wand and she felt the unmistakable tug below her navel as she was port keyed away.
When Hermione woke the next morning her head hurt, and she immediately went to her bathroom to take two muggle pain killers to relieve herself.
Glancing at the clock she saw that it was already nine thirty. She had slept late this morning, odd for her. The morning was beautiful; the humid air of summer was welcome as she was just wearing her nightgown and no slippers. She hummed softly as she made her coffee. She had switched over to drinking the dark brew sometime during her seventh when a house elf had offered it to her early one morning in her heads room, after she had stayed up all night studying. She found quickly that it helped keep her awake.
Even after Mrs. Weasley had warned her on several occasions that tea was a healthier choice, she got into the habit of drinking it daily. Hermione was more concerned on getting good grades then her health.
She sighed as she realized there were no mugs in her cupboard. She had forgotten to turn on the dishwasher last night. Her eyes wandered around her counter as she looked for a substitute and was surprised to see an old chipped mug sitting lonely on her counter.
Then she remembered.
Oh dear. Hermione steadied herself on the kitchen table as she felt the overwhelmingurge to sit down.
Snape.
She wished she had taken more pain killers, as she felt her headache was returning.
That had definitely been a shock last night, more then a shock in fact. Running into Snape, of all people and then him revealing his reasons behind his tertiary. This was definitely a big development. She sighed, even though he seemed so sincere, how could she trust him? This could easily be an act.
Remembering how much pain it looked like Snape was in, she highly doubted it.
The fact he had information for the order was also exciting, to be able to bring back such information would show that she was indeed an asset to the war. However, she couldn't seem to tame the butterflies in her stomach at the thought of meeting with him again. This man was highly intimidating and she didn't quite trust him yet. For all she knew he was going to Avada her in her own home.
He had never mentioned how he knew she had gotten her own flat. She would have to ask him next time she saw him, whenever that would be. He hadn't made any specific arrangements.
Only time would tell.
The smell of new books filled Hermione's nose as she staked history of magic books on the second level of Flourish and blots. It had been a week and a half without any word from Snape. She was beginning to wonder what had happened to him, or if he was in danger or hurt.
'Silly Granger,' she chide herself. 'Worrying about Snape, he probably isn't even going to show up.' Yet she still found herself looking around corners and behind her shoulder for him every so often.
She decided to stop thinking about Snape and start thinking about her job when a voice filled her ears.
"Ah, and here we find Miss. Granger, working in a bookstore. How appropriate." At first she had thought Snape had returned, but it was not his voice at all. This wasn't the rich velvety tones she now knew Snape possessed, this voice was cold, snide and chilled her to her core.
"Mr. Malfoy." She said shortly before she had even finished turning around. Hermione had read the papers, and heard Molly and Arthur Weasley cuss and yell about the injustice of Lucius being let out of Azkaban. The papers had said he had paid a healthy sum and 'made amends for hisactions'. She knew, from Order information that he had cut some sort of deal with the new Minister. Damn that man was as moldable as Fudge.
"Can I help you with anything?" She asked as politely as she could, she was still working after all.
He glared at her, his look was calculating and she felt like she was an art piece on display. When he did not answer she asumed he has nothing else to say and turned back aroundto reach for another book.
That was a bad idea.
She immediately felt a strong force push her into the book case. One of his gloved hands was firmly planted on her back while the other was tightly wrapped around her arm.
"Silly girl, turning your back on me. I wasn't finished with you yet." Lucius hissed the words against her ear and she couldn't stop the shudder of revulsion that racked her body. She could almost feel him smirking against her ear.
"You've grown into such a pretty women since last I saw you, Miss Granger. I can't imagine how you wound up working in a bookstore. If your brains didn't get you the job you actually wanted I'm sure you could have got it from other means."
'That bastard.'
"But… Oh yes, I seem to have forgotten you are nothing but a Mudblood. Pity really. Such a pretty waste."
Suddenly Hermione started panicking; his hand was no longer the only thing pressing against her, his whole body was holding her against the bookcase. Her breathing had become unsteady as her heart raced. She was scarred. She couldn't deny that she was no match for Lucius Malfoy, no matter what he tried to do. His lips were whispering against her ear, she could feel them lightly tickling her as he said words she couldn't make out. Hermione wondered what Azkaban had done for his sanity when she felt him inhale deeply and suddenly release her completely.
She almost completely crumpled to the ground. Looking at Lucius now, he was composed and cold, like always. It seemed as if nothing had ever happened. Realizing she was shaking she tried to still her body.
"You are not very talkative today Miss Granger. No matter, I'll be seeing you soon." He was gone then, with a twist of his heel.
Hermione felt if she even tried to speak now, she could not.
Oh god.
