Chapter 16

That night, a grimm came with Joan's dinner. She was relieved Mercury didn't return, but the fact that Cinder didn't… it felt like an omen for times to come. It was an omen that scared Joan. She ate her dinner, reapplied the lotion in a thinner layer, and slipped into bed.

Like she had done a number of times since her torture had changed, Joan woke early in the morning. Unlike as of late, there was no cage to keep her sex. No, she was free, and her sex delighted in it. Joan could feel the soft sheets as they rubbed against her nipples and her desperately aching clit. Her eyes flickered open only to seal back shut, reeling from how arousal coursed so harshly through her body.

Without instigation, Joan's hips rolled up against the sheets. She moaned and already began to lose herself. It hurt. She was so desperate, it hurt. She needed to release. As if only to be cruel to herself, Joan's hands went to her chest, they cupped and held herself. It felt good, it felt so good to indulge in it. Fingers squeezed at her nipples and she nearly shattered.

It was too much, Joan needed to touch. Discarding any fear, any worry, any caution, one hand shot down to her clit to pump up and down at it. Her eyes rolled back and she nearly sobbed with relief. It was perfect- almost perfect.

Somewhere along the way, between testing, discovering the pleasure of her entrance's outer ring and then of her button… she grew to adore the sensation, to associate it with the height of pleasure. She wanted- she needed… she desperately craved to cum from it- even better if while stroking herself.

Hand shaky with need shot out, stole the lube and her plug from her nightstand. Sloppily, she covered it and her finger. Too impatient, Joan rolled over and thrust her lubed finger inside herself so hard she cried out in something between ecstasy and pain. She quickly replaced it with the plug and used that to assault her hole and her spot more effectively.

Joan buried her face into the pillows as the lewdest noises poured from her mouth. She forced the toy in and out of her, striking that spot perfectly. With almost no resistance left, Joan stroked herself. Her lubed hand felt so good against her sex. She earnestly thought she would break. As she fucked herself from both ends, Joan pressed her chest to the bed and rubbed her aching nipples against it. Every curse she knew flung from her lips. Cinder's torture taught her more and more about how close she could get without tumbling over, and for whatever reason, Joan found herself riding it. She kept herself hanging, torturing herself on the edge. Joan couldn't tell how many times she nearly broke, how many times she almost lost herself.

It was horrible, it was beautiful. It was torture, it was ecstasy. She loved it, she hated it, and she couldn't fucking stop. Every time she felt herself only a moment- a stroke- a touch away, Joan could hear her. 'Not yet', 'hold it', 'Good girl.'

Cinder's voice echoed through her mind. Joan couldn't help but imagine the woman who had been torturing her, taunting, and edging her. Every time she got close, she could just hear Cinder coaxing her to stop, to torture herself. Joan had no explanation as to why she obeyed even just the cinder in her head, nor the brainpower to think through it in her arousal dumbed state. All Joan could put together while horny to the point of being stupid was that when she obeyed, when she edged, imagining the comfort of Cinder's palm soothing and patting on her head grew easier.

Joan loved it, and she wasn't together enough to shame feel shame for the adoration. She just gave into it. She edged and edged and edged herself into a stupid, leaking mess. If it weren't for the fictitious comfort of an imagined owner soothing and praising her, Joan would never have made it as far as she did. She would have broken so much earlier. But, like all good things, Joan's edging too came to an end. Too caught up in the pleasure of fucking and stroking herself, Joan didn't stop. She lost all her control and tumbled over. With bestial, lost cries of ecstasy, Joan came and collapsed lifeless. Her whole body was sore and reeling in the drug of her own release. All too easily, Joan slipped from life and into sleep, her whole existence drained from her almost unending self gratification.

Joan stayed lost, decimated in bed as she had spent all of herself in her entirety. She hadn't the energy to care when her alarm went off, or even when Cinder stormed into her room.

It had only been thirty minutes since her release and Joan had no energy to care or even lift up from her glorious half slumber.

"You hopeless whore." Cinder sneered and forced Joan's head up by her hair. She pushed her face in close and if Joan had actually had the energy to wake, she might have caught the passioned panting of the woman as she nearly pressed their faces together and snarled. "Could you truly not go a single day without your cage and not cum all over yourself, you disgusting slut?" A bestial noise ripped through Cinder's throat, just enough to stir Joan.

"Mhmm…" Joan cooed gently.

"Fine! Ignore orders not to cum. You see what happens when disobey." Cinder's words thrust out in angry puffs as she tossed Joan's head back down into the bed.

"Uugh." Joan groaned as she felt weight on her and a hand pressing her head down into the bed painfully

"Will give in!" Cinder demanded before another roar followed by her sniffing around Joan's neck. Still, Joan was barely awake, but what came next forced her back to life. The searing pain of her flesh being pierced- and maybe burned too- it was hard to tell in her hazed state. The monster atop her had bitten into her neck, nearly ripped a chunk out of her.

"Ahh!" Joan cried out in a noise far too close to a moan. She could remember the bite releasing, and then a sharp pain at the side of her head, like she had been struck, but aside from that, all Joan could remember was darkness.

Joan woke again with a sharp startled breath. It hurt. Her throat was sore, but not as bad as the last time she had woken in the infirmary. "Ah, yes, young Joan." Watts greeted.

"You- you're alive?" Joan questioned wearily.

"I could say the same of you young lad- er, lady."

"What… what happened? I- feel weird."

"Well, the odd sensations are likely at least in part because someone… insisted I use anesthesia and slowly wake you with pain killers this time."

"Thank them for that."

Watts huffed. "She damn near killed you boy."

"Wh- what?"

"You were… well, Neapolitan is rarely generous with details, but she seemed rather startled with what she saw. And you seemed rather beaten when you got to me."

"Beaten?"

"Like a ragdoll raped by a lion." Watts huffed. "I'm not quite sure why she did… or what she did to you, but you had a heinous blood O2 level, your neck was nearly mangled."

"So I'm all healed up now?"

"From that? Yes."

"Was- was there something else?"

Watts coughed low. "You're- you're not feeling… like you've had the wind knocked out of you at all, are you?"

"Ah, no?"

"Huh, I really thought that might happen."

"Why?" Joan squinted groggily.

"It is a common symptom of testicular trauma."

"Testi- ta what now?"

"When you get hit in the nuts son- well… not anymore."

"Huh?"

"Well, I suppose you ought to see." Watts shrugged and pulled down the sheets that covered Joan to reveal just below her clit, where her testicles had once been, her sack had a small stitch or two and laid flat against her body.

"I- you-"

"She wanted to keep them… lord it over you I am sure. If it helps, I told her no on that; that they were biological waste and that I was uncomfortable with it. Honestly, I am sorry for this one. I don't know if you ever intended to have children. Save… either… Cinder's plans progressing notably further, or some very rare dusts… I suspect offspring might be out of the question for you now."

"Her plans progressing further?" Joan centered in on that above all else. Could- could she ever be a mother? An actual mother? Not that women like her who have children were ever anything less than a mother, but the idea that she could potentially carry a child? Joan wasn't sure if she was terrified or touched.

"Cinder's spoken of it once or twice; asked me to look into if it is possible."

"And?"

"And… I suggest you give her what she wants before more is taken from you that can not be replaced."

Joan nodded.

"Anything else?"

Joan paused and thought her response over. She was not overly surprised that Cinder eventually went for that. She wasn't even sad or mad. She never much liked the girls, and having them gone could only make fitting her panties on all the easier. It would make the cage much harder to keep locked on, she liked that idea. Though, after seeing Cinder's reaction to breaking the rule of no cumming, Joan worried the cage might have helped more than it hurt. Then she began to remember more, the bite, the way Cinder pressed her down and… and… it was a blur, Joan couldn't quite remember it right, but she remembered the animal- no, the grimm noises as pressure pressed arhythmically down on her. "Cinder? What- what happened?"

"Really? That's your question? Not 'where are my balls'? Well, fine, but I suppose you know already. You've seen it more than any of us from the looks of things."

"Seen what?"

"How she loses control. How that thing eats away at her; feeds on all her negative emotions, her hate, her anger, sorrow, rage, all of it. It's just like any other grimm. It is attracted to it all and it will feed. Just so happens to be, that one is connected to a human. Salem had to tear out her infected eye to stave the beast off from taking over her brainstem; from taking all of her."

"I- is that- is that why she was growling and snarling like an animal- like- like a grimm?"

Watts nodded slowly. "She was supposed to tell me if that started again. Idiot."

"If she finds out you called her that, she will kill you." Joan pointed out goodheartedly.

"If she gets mad enough to try she will be lost herself- hell, if she tries to exhaust her aura much more that will do it on it's own."

"How so?"

"She has to fight off the grimm constantly; keep her aura up to protect against its assault. Having her aura broken means it gets to actively feast on her. And it's not like she has the power to fight it off anymore with how far it's progressed."

Joan nodded and wondered why Watts would allow her so much information, but it was not her fault if the doctor wanted to have loose lips. Sometime later, she would figure out why- that Watts was eager to see the thorn in his side gone, and if that meant turning it into a grimm… so be it. But, that still was yet to come.

End of Chapter 16