Hey :)

So FF is STILL not showing me any notifications about reviews or other stories that I have published. I have to go in and hunt them down and then can't even reply. It's INFURIATING and hopefully will get resolved soon. So if you have reviewed or I follow you and you've published, I'm so sorry that I haven't replied. If they ever fix this damn thing I will.

In the meantime here's Natalie's latest shenanigan :) Special thanks to Jenmm31 for beta'ing and keeping me on the ledge.

In this story Natalie is 16. Please see profile page for disclaimers.

"Hurry up, we're gonna be late!"

Dean rolled his eyes at his daughter's bellowing. "Kid," he hollered back, making his way down the bunker hallways towards her room. "We ain't the ones dragging our feet here- you are." He intended to say more, but stopped in surprise at her doorway. She was feverishly texting someone instead of getting ready, and stopped the second she saw him. She dropped her hands to her side and tried to adopt a look of pious innocence, at which she failed miserably. He had a feeling he knew who she was texting- or at least what.

Dean's eyes narrowed at his sixteen-year-old-and-not-admitting-she-was-boy-crazy daughter. "So who's that?" he asked casually, pointing to her phone. "Who are you texting while screaming at my ass?"

"No one," Natalie said hastily, slipping her phone into her back pocket. Upon seeing Dean's eyebrow cocked at her lie, she quickly amended her statement. "No one important." Dean snorted in disbelief. Suddenly, his eyebrows went from furrowed to surprised as he took in her outfit. "What?" she asked, a little defensively now.

"You wanna tell me why Sam and I- and I quote- 'HAD to wear suits', but you're wearing a pair of jeans to this nonsense?"

"It's not nonsense, Dad."

"You making me wear this monkey suit outside of a case is."

"Look, think of this as part of my training, okay? You and Uncle Sam have to sometimes wine and dine people to get information out of them, right?"

"Okay, where the hell you've come up with that notion is still beyond me."

"C'mon, you know you do. I know it's rare, but it happens. You told me about having to go to that fancy party with that chick, Bela, remember?"

"A fancy party, yes. A sit down dinner, no."

"Okay, what about the time you had pizza with Death?"

"You know, it's kind of messed up how you can just say a sentence like that and then be like 'yeah, my Dad shared a deep dish with the Grim Reaper, no biggie'. Maybe you need to see a psychologist. I'm obviously warping your brain."

"Oh, we're WAY beyond that at this point."

"You're a riot, squirt."

"Anyways, my point is, you guys occasionally have to go out to eat at nice places and make a good impression. And I've only ever been to like 2 nice restaurants in my freaking life. I think this is a part of my hunter's training that is severely lacking and I want to fix that."

"Yeah, I'm still not buying that excuse either," Sam said loftily, suddenly appearing next to his brother in the doorway while straightening his tie. Natalie groaned and rolled her eyes theatrically, but that didn't deter him. "I think you're up to something, Bug."

Natalie threw her hands up in the air dramatically. "I'm not lying to you! Besides, you'd know if I was!"

"I'm not saying you're lying. I said 'up to something'. I'm saying you have a hidden agenda."

"You're getting paranoid in your old age, Uncle Sam. You might want to watch that."

"Hey, you watch who you're calling old, young lady."

"She's right, Sammy. Your crow's feet are showing."

"Dean, you're one to talk. You're older than me!"

"And my charming good looks keep my dance card full, if you know what I'm sayin'."

"Oh my god Dad please stop."

"Can't tame this lady killer, kid."

"Fine. Mind if I invite that cute boy who works at the gas station to our dinner?"

"Over my dead body. Is that who you were just texting?"

"No."

"So which boy was it? That Tyler kid?"

"I wasn't texting a boy."

"Sam, she's lying."

"No, she's not, Dean."

"I'm her father, I can tell."

"Well, you've never been able to tell before, what makes you think you can tell now?"

"Can you two stop bickering like Statler and Waldorf for two seconds so we can actually make our reservation on time, please?"

"You made RESERVATIONS?" Dean said.

"Was that a Muppets reference?" Sam asked at the same time as Dean.

"Yes, and yes. Let's GO."

"Fine. If you're serious about this, Bug, you need to change."

"What? No, I don't."

"Yes you do. If you're going to a 'fancy' dinner, as you call it, you can't show up in jeans."

"…. I'm wearing a nice top."

"Not gonna cut it."

"It doesn't matter what I'm wearing."

"Then I guess you don't want to take this training seriously and you really do have something else up your sleeve."

Silence.

"Touché," Natalie hissed, before shutting the door on them both. "I'm changing!" she yelled. "Then we're leaving immediately!"

The brothers rolled their eyes in tandem. Dean pointed at Sam arrogantly.

"She gets this dramatic streak from you, ya know."

"Says the guy who screamed when a spider crawled into the bathroom sink yesterday."

"Shut up. That thing was HUGE. Unlike your junk."

"I hate you so much."

*SPN SPN SPN*

An hour later, the Winchesters pulled up to the front of the nicest restaurant outside Lebanon. "I am NOT valet parking Baby," Dean said stubbornly, refusing to get out of the driver's seat when the parking attendant was clearly drooling over the gorgeous muscle car. Sam rolled his eyes and got out, but Dean wasn't moving. "Not letting some punk-ass kid take her god knows where. Forget it," he grumbled with a sense of finality. Natalie leaned forward, resting her arms on the back of the front seat, and adopted a placating smile.

"Dad, remember, you're supposed to be teaching me how to be classy at one of these places," she said, a touch patronizingly. "We're supposed to be keeping a low profile. Isn't that what you always say?"

Dean just gave her The Eye, but much to his displeasure, it didn't have the same effect on her as it did when she was four. Muttering under his breath about the state of the world in general, Dean shoved the keys into the waiting attendant's hand and threatened him within an inch of his life if there was so much as a speck of dust on his car when he returned before Sam finally dragged him towards the front door.

"Rule number one, try to keep a low profile," Sam said sardonically to Natalie, who was flanking Dean's other side.

"I TOLD you," Natalie hissed to her father.

"Shut up," Dean replied stubbornly. Natalie stepped up quickly to the podium before either of them could.

"Novak?" she said quickly. Sam and Dean exchanged surprised looks but said nothing.

"Ah, yes. Miss Novak, of course. Glad to see you. Two of your party are already seated. Follow me, please," said the maître d pleasantly, gathering additional menus and turning on his heel.

"Thank you," Natalie said evenly, but it was easy to hear that her voice had risen in pitch. She turned away quickly, trying to escape before the brothers could catch her. It didn't work.

"Hold up now," Dean hissed, snatching her arm and yanking her back before she could get any further. "Why did it sound like they'd been expecting you?"

"Natalie, what are you up to?" Sam whispered heatedly, crowding in on the two of them. "Why did you give them a fake last name? And why did you use…that name?"

"Because we're undercover, duh," she smarted back. "It was the only name I could think of in the moment." But the blood rushing to her cheeks told them that wasn't the full story.

"What did he mean 'two others in our party'?" Dean growled at her. "What did you do?"

"Who are we meeting? Who's here?" Sam hissed, leaning down into his niece's now bright red face. Natalie put on her haughtiest look and pulled her arm out of Dean's grip.

"Just come on, okay? Don't make a scene," she hissed back to the both of them, smoothing out her skirt before spinning on her heel and following after the maître d determinedly. Sam and Dean had no choice but to follow her.

"Dean, what did she do?" Sam muttered out of the corner of his mouth.

"I have no idea," Dean growled back. "But I have a feeling this night is gonna end by me killing her." The boys followed ungraciously behind her, coming to a halt when they saw the table the maître-d had stopped next to. Already seated were two very lovely women, around their own ages. One had obviously bottle blonde hair, a tight fitting low cut dark blue dress, and a very large, half drunk glass of red wine in front of her. The other had the most violent shade of fake red hair it was possible to have, a blousy forest green dress, and an arched eyebrow that looked like it had been drawn on with a template. Both were sporting huge, white-toothed smiles, right at the boys.

"Dad, Uncle Sam, this is Kim and Michelle," Natalie said, tilting her head and putting on her best game face. "Your…dates for this evening." Both brothers' heads whipped towards her so fast, the cracking of their neck vertebrates were heard 'round the world. Their faces adopted identical masks of confusion.

"Our…what?" Dean stuttered out, but Natalie was already continuing.

"Kim, Michelle, we're so sorry for the delay," Natalie said, turning her back completely on her stunned family. "Thank you for waiting for us."

"Oh, honey, it's our pleasure!" the bottle blonde replied, eying Dean up and down. "It was certainly worth the wait," she said smugly. For a millisecond, Dean's face went from confusion to intrigue, but he shook it off and inhaled to let his daughter have it. This time, she beat him to the punch.

"SO ladies," Natalie said loudly to drown out the spluttering of the shocked Winchesters behind her. "You can see that I wasn't kidding when I said they had no idea that I was doing this."

The red head scoffed a bit with a smile. "That much is pretty obvious," she said smugly. Sam almost took a step back in fright at the ferocity of her gaze, especially with those eyebrows framing her eyes like that…

"But my dad and uncle have been single for a very long time, and I, being the kind and caring daughter and niece that I am-" she didn't pause to acknowledge the growl from her father and the scoffed laugh from her uncle "-thought it would be lovely for them to just get out and meet some lovely people."

"You're not serious," Sam hissed through his teeth so only Natalie could hear. "You actually set us up on dates?!"

"Yes," she hissed back over her shoulder at him, before turning her beaming smile back on the women.

"It's so lucky that we all connected, don't you think?" the redhead said, her eyes devouring both men frankly.

"And how exactly did you…connect with these…lovely people, Natalie?" Sam asked louder, with a teeth-clenched smile as he tried to keep it together.

"We found your dating profiles online!" the bottle blonde said in a chipper tone.

"I'm sorry, our WHAT now?" Dean said, steam beginning to erupt from his ears. Knowing she had no choice but to confess just how deep this plan went, Natalie turned around and faced the music.

"Your dating profiles," she said, a lot more calmly than Dean thought she should. "I created them for the both of you about a month ago."

"A MONTH?"

"Yes, and Dad, you matched with Kim," she continued, indicating the bottle blonde. Kim cocked her head to the side and smiled seductively at Dean. "And Uncle Sam, you matched with Michelle." Natalie gulped a bit at the incredulously fierce look Sam was giving her, but plowed on gamely. "Kim is really into cars, which is great Dad, since you're a mechanic. And Uncle Sam, Michelle is a librarian." Natalie arched her eyebrows, using the tried-and-true Winchester hunting create-a-story method; make shit up and the others have to go along with it.

"I don't think I've ever seen an adjunct professor on a dating site before," Michelle mused, her eyes roaming up and down the tallest Winchester again. "I have to say, I do find that interesting."

"Ladies, I'm sorry, but…" Sam began, holding up his hands gently. He didn't get to finish the thought before Natalie burst back in.

"Well! I think my work here is done. You all have a good evening!" Natalie said quickly, taking a fast step backwards and bolting for the door. She expertly weaved her way through the tables, keeping calm even when she heard a growled " 'Scuse me a sec," behind her; it only made her pick up the pace.

Dean almost had her- the stupid wait staff and poorly-timed patron trying to stand up from their table threw him off his game. He made it through the front door of the restaurant just in time to see Natalie zooming right past him in a dark blue car with one of those 'Uber' logo glowing signs. Natalie waved cheekily at him and mouthed 'love you' as they sped past him, leaving him standing dumb and furious on the sidewalk.

The little brat had a car waiting for her.

Well, he was right. The evening was definitely going to end by him killing her.

Exhaling deeply and thinking about all the different knives he owned that could skin the kid alive and deciding on the one that would make it the most painful, Dean furiously made his way back to the table. He'd get Sam, they'd buy the ladies' drinks for their troubles, and then he'd go home and kill his kid. Easy enough.

However, another shock awaited him. By the time he made his way back to the table, past all the patrons who were giving him dirty looks from his disruptive flight across the dining room, he realized that leaving Sam alone was a huge mistake. His little brother was trapped in between the two women, looking scared shitless, with a glass of white wine in front of him.

"Oh good, you're back!" Kim said in her cheery voice. She gestured to a nearby waiter, who immediately came over with two glasses of red. She drained the rest of the one she'd been working on in one gulp, then immediately took a sip of the next. "I got you a glass of red. I thought you'd like it. You look like a meat eater," she said, cocking her head to the side and winking at Dean.

Dean mentally slapped himself out of his frozen state at her words, and let out an awkward throat clearing cough. "Uh, ladies," he began, his voice several tones higher than he'd meant it to be. He cleared his throat sternly again. "Ladies," he said, in his deeper, no nonsense voice. "I'm terribly sorry that we've wasted your time tonight…"

"Wow, you two really are brothers, aren't you?" Michelle interrupted. "That's exactly what Sam here said right after you chased Natalie away."

"Chased her away?!"

"And you haven't wasted our time. The night's barely started."

"That's what I'm trying to say- my brother and I aren't really looking for anyone at the moment-" Dean's brow furrowed as Sam looked at him desperately, shaking his head just once with pleading eyes.

"And neither are we," Kim jumped in, her eyes hooded. "We're just looking for some fun, you know?"

"No harm, no foul," Michelle added, turning her gaze back to Sam and looking like she was going to lick his cheek. "Besides, it would be so incredibly rude to leave two ladies here high and dry after meeting them for the first time," she continued, suddenly stern and no nonsense. "The least you two can do for our trouble is have dinner with us."

Sam closed his eyes in defeat. Dean suddenly realized that he'd misinterpreted what Sam had been shaking his head at a moment ago. Sam had already tried this and had failed- he had been begging Dean not to make the same mistake. Dammit. Despite everything the Winchester brothers were in real life, they were never ones to disrespect women. And with Michelle playing that particular card, they were trapped for the evening.

Dean was going to KILL Natalie, then resurrect her just to kill her all over again.

With a game smile and a heavy foot, Dean made his way to the empty chair at the table and sat down with a grunt. His eyes told Sam that the plan was to get through this fucking evening as fast as they could, and then get the hell out of there.

"So! Have you ladies decided what you'll be having tonight?" Dean said bravely, daring a smile at Kim as he picked up his menu.

She immediately swatted it out of his hands. "Let's not talk about food. Let's talk about YOU two," she said, leaning her chin against her fist and studying Dean. Dean swallowed hard in response. So much for the plan. And this brought up a new fear- what exactly had Natalie put in their profiles?

Trying for his best charming smile to ease some of the tension he was feeling, Dean forced a laugh. "Why…why talk about us?" he asked. "We're the ones in the dark here, am I right?"

"Uh, yeah. Yeah," Sam added, picking up what Dean was trying to do. "I mean, you're the ones that have read our profiles while we know next to nothing about you two. Why don't-" Sam had to stop and swallow hard at the grave he was about to throw the two of them into. "-why don't you two tell us about yourselves?"

"Oh, well, that's easy," Michelle said. She leaned back and gave a barking laugh, causing several people nearby to jump or turn their heads in disdain. "Not much to tell here. I'm the Beloit County Head librarian."

"Oh, that's interesting!" Sam said kindly, neatly covering up his lack of care. "And how did you get into that line of work?" Dean nodded enthusiastically at Sam- good, good, this was good.

"After my third divorce, I decided to really fuck over my last husband. I mean, I know that I'm not exactly Bo Derek or anything, but that asshole was screwing half the women in this town that he had ten or more years on, so what choice did I have?" Michelle said, shrugging and slugging back half her wine in one gulp. Sam looked at Dean in terror. "I took him for all he was worth, and then put up huge billboards all over the place talking about what an absolute prick he was. I put 'em up until I ran out of money. I needed a job to live. Then the library was hiring, so there you go."

Sam and Dean locked eyes again. This time, Dean was shaking his head- bad, bad, this was bad- before Michelle burst out laughing again, and making the poor lady at the table next to them jump. "Naw, I'm just kidding, could you imagine?" she chortled, before taking another sip of wine.

Kim laughed, strangely reminding them of the Wicked Witch of the West with her cackle. "Michelle, you are so funny! Did you see their faces? You had them so fooled!" she said, her giggle piercing their ear drums. Dean just gave her a half-hearted smirk, then grabbed his wine, wishing that it was something way stronger.

"I've been an avid reader all my life," Michelle continued, still chortling a bit. "Librarian wasn't that much of a stretch for me. So, Sam. Who's your favorite author?" she asked, reaching out and running her fingers along Sam's arm. It took everything within him to not jump like he'd been branded with a hot iron.

"Uh…it…uh it really varies," Sam stammered, trying to get a grip. "I do a lot of research as a…professor, you know," he said, reaching for his wine and faking a laugh. Michelle leaned in closer.

"Tell me more," she purred. Sam fidgeted and swallowed hard, but before he could say anything, Kim leaned forward into Dean's eyeline.

"Well, it looks like they're off to a good start!" she said in her bubbly, high pitched voice. She honest to god batted her eyelashes at him. "So tell me- what got you into the automotive world?"

Taking another slug of wine and deliberately picking up the menu, Dean tried to study it as he answered. "My dad," he said, eyes scanning for the steak section, trying to put her off. "He used to be a mechanic and he taught me everything I know."

"Yes, Natalie told me all about your car! A '67 Impala, right?"

Dean's eyes flickered back to hers.

"Yeah, that's right."

"I've heard those kind of cars are absolutely gorgeous. And you must take such good care of her for her to still be running so well."

Warming slightly to Kim, Dean set the menu down. "Well, I do what I can. She's my Baby, you know?"

"Yeah! Tell me about her!"

"She's a 327 four barrel, just absolutely-" Dean paused to give a chef's kiss. "I've been working on her since I was sixteen. She's got 275 horsepower. I've thought about fitting her with a Rochester fuel injection system and a Duntov camshaft, and see if I can get her up to 360 HP like the experts say, but that would be a hell of time suck, you know? But man, the idea of getting her to 352 lbs. of torque just-" It suddenly occurred to Dean that Kim had a very, very glassy look in her eye. "Sorry," he chuckled. "I get excited talking about her with people that understand, you know?"

"Oh," Kim said suddenly, trying to shake herself a bit. "Oh yeah. Sorry, I…I guess I lost you there for a moment."

"Where did I lose you?"

"Um…okay, to be honest, I only put that I'm into cars on my profile because it makes a lot of guys look at you. I don't really know anything about them, but you can talk at me all you want to. I just like to watch your gorgeous lips move."

Dean returned to the menu.

The night went downhill from there.

*SPN SPN SPN*

"NATALIE GRACE!" Dean roared, bursting through the bunker door three hours later with Sam hot on his heels. "GET YOUR ASS IN HERE NOW!" He thundered down the steps, nearly tripping over his own feet in an effort to get to the kid as quickly as possible. He made it to the ground floor, seething and still trying to decide if he was going to skin her alive first or just straight up shoot her- he'd been going back and forth on it all night.

About thirty seconds later, Natalie sauntered into the room, her hand digging in a bag of popcorn. "Hey!" she said brightly, as if the two gigantic hunters weren't ready to rip her limb from limb. "So, how did it go?" she asked eagerly.

"I am going to KILL you."

"Yeah, I figured. So how did it go?"

"I am going to KILL you DEAD."

"Yup. Got it. My phone and car keys are already on your dresser. So how did it GO?"

"What the hell were you thinking, Bug? Setting us up on dates like that with totally fake personas and not clueing us in at all?"

Natalie waved a hand at him, supremely unconcerned. "Oh please, you two were fine. You lie all the time about our fake lives. So how did it go?" she said brightly, shoving another fistful of popcorn into her mouth. Dean stepped right up to her, hovering over her intimidatingly.

"Kid, if you EVER pull a stunt like that again-!" he roared. Natalie rolled her eyes.

"I know, I know. Dangling off the bridge by my pinky toes," she sighed, then fixed him with an exasperated look. "But how did it GO?" she insisted.

"How the hell do you think it went?! You left us completely out to dry with two old ladies-"

"Uh, they are your age?"

"Oh, that is SO not helping your case right now, you little brat."

"C'mon, Kim is totally your type! You two really didn't get along?"

"She knew nothing about cars. Like…zilch."

"Dammit, I was afraid of that. Well, she was still that blonde haired, tiny waist style bimbo you usually go for."

"You little-"

"Uncle Sam, hopefully you had more luck with Michelle?"

"Kid, if that bitch could have eaten him alive at the table, she would have."

"Natalie, how could you give her a story about me being a professor? What the hell were you thinking?"

"You've taught me everything I know-"

"EXCUSE ME?!"

"Okay, FINE. Every ACADEMIC thing I know, better? And I thought it wouldn't be that big of a jump for you."

"Bug, she wanted to discuss crap like War and Peace- in depth. I haven't read that in years. I looked like a total idiot!"

"I'm sure you were fine."

"Yeah, well, all that nerd shit aside, you are in so much trouble it's unlikely you'll ever be OUT of trouble for the rest of your natural life."

"Yeah, yeah, grounded for the foreseeable future, I know."

"And several lifetimes beyond that."

"Whatever, it was totally worth it."

"Wait. What? What do you mean, worth it? What did you do tonight?"

"Natalie Grace Winchester, if you brought a boy over here I swear to God-"

"I would never bring someone to the bunker without telling you! How irresponsible do you honestly think I am?!"

"Says the girl who just trapped us into a couple of blind dates with some psycho cougars!"

"You are so overdramatic Dad."

"Bug, out with it. What did you do tonight? Why did you do this?"

"Oh. The new Tom Holland movie started streaming on Netflix today, and I was dying to watch it without the constant and annoying commentary you both insist on adding to every movie I want to see." Natalie rolled her eyes backwards dreamily, leaning against the wall. "Oh my god, it was so good. Just a fantastic movie."

Silence. For several very long moments.

"You…you set us up…because…"

"I can't believe- you…"

"That was…I can't…"

"You. Room. NOW. Never leave."

With another exaggerated sigh, Natalie turned on her heel. "Good night! Love you both!" she said. But the second she was around the corner, she called out one more time.

"Still worth it!"

Dean turned to Sam, pointing down the hallway, his eyes ablaze. "Okay. Legally, she's still mine. Do I go to jail for murdering her, even if it's completely justifiable and the only real solution here?"

Gritting his teeth, Sam met Dean's eyes. "Yes, you'd still go to jail," he growled, then his eyes narrowed dangerously. "But we've got years of experience hiding bodies. We'll be fine."