Adrien should have gone straight home. Classes are in a few hours, yet he couldn't pull himself to return now. Remembering the comment that Félix told him, that evening view of Paris from the Eiffel Tower was breathtaking.
Félix promised to take him to see it one of these days, and maybe, he should have saved it for that time, to relish it together. However, his mind couldn't shake the idea out of him once it presented itself, making him restless until he went and did it. That's how it has always been since he was a kid.
And now witnessed it for himself, he must declare that his brother was right, although he never doubted him. It's just the experience will always exceed the imagination from a brother's beautifully told account.
A normally bustling city has transformed into a tranquil site lit by the various street lights as far as he could see just because of the time. Adrien knew Félix always loved the twilight, and ever since becoming Chat Noir, it only increased his fondness for it.
Himself? He preferred daylight for the warming feel, the brightness of the sun, and the people; however, he is gaining a new appreciation of the night. Daytime can be super loud, something he is wholly sensitive to and overwhelms him a lot.
The constant sounds of clicking from the camera, tugging, pulling of people in different directions, cameramen briefing him on the shoot, touching, talking, yelling from strangers, and his father lecturing him about his quirks each time he went out in public. Father, father, father.
Don't make a fool out of the Agreste name. You are the face of the brand, Adrien, while Félix will be on the business side. A flawless duo like your mother and I were when she was alive. Suits both of your personalities, don't you say?
Adrien yanked at the cuffs, running his claws along the fabric as his mind raced. He wanted to be an actor, not a model...
You do not need that garish bracelet. You are not a child anymore. What? Do you need it? That's ludicrous. An Agreste does not need to depend on such a coping mechanism. Learn how to handle yourself because, in this business, you will be run over, and I doubt Félix will stay to carry you to the top when I am gone. Truthfully, it barely seems worth it.
Adrien huddled into a fettle position. No, I'll be good.
Obedient.
Adri, you are not broken. You are wonderful the way you are. Don't listen to the despicable man that doesn't deserve the title of father. Hey, hey, look at me.
Adrien opened his eyes, gaping at the stars that twinkled and shined so bright.
Always know that I love you how you are. I would never change you for the world.
A smile crept on his face. Nighttime was very still, with barely any noise or ruckus besides the occasional cars or insects. Not many things to overload him. He could understand why Félix favors it...and he may end up preferring it more if it is like this.
It is peaceful.
Adrien, you were quite...unprofessional in your interactions with the interviewer. How many times must I inform you of your childish nuisances?
Father, he did nothing wrong, and no one batted an eye at anything. Our front will not take a hit from something like that anyway, so why harp on this?
Our brand and family strive for perfection, close to it as humanly possible. You are more than aware of that fact, especially with how I have raised you since you were a child. To let any speculation that a defec-
Don't you fucking dare even let those words pass your lips. He is no such thi-
Adrien slams his fist into the metal underneath him, breathing erratic as he could feel the sting of the claws digging into his head with his other hand.
Perhaps, the peace and quiet aren't good; maybe it allows those things to weave back into his mind and infect it with such horrendous thoughts that linger for hours, days even.
It can stay with Félix for now; he'll take the busyness of it all if it keeps everything at bay.
How do I calm myself again? How? Um, Fé, Fé, what is it? He should know this by now! Such a dumbass.
He scanned the area around him to focus on the lights. What colors does he see? Black for the sky, or would it be like...dark gray cause of the lighting? Go with black 'cause it is what it naturally is and reminds him of his favorite hero. Um, see some blue and yellow street lights. What else?
Doing this, Adrien slowly felt himself regain composure, sitting up with a slouched posture with regulated breathing.
Instinctively, fingers went straight to his costume's cuffs, gently rubbing against the material as his mind wandered in several directions. He really didn't want to face the music, his head a burden for whenever he was in or going to be in trouble.
He hates how his brain is wired... Going, going, going.
With one final glimpse into the city, Adrien stood up, teetering on the edge as he stared at the ground below him, contemplating something deep within himself. He spread his arms out, shifted forwards, and began his descent.
Quickly, Adrien took out the staff, extending it to break the fall, although the landing wasn't graceful. In fact, he slipped off the top but recovered by grabbing the base of the staff, dangling from the side. He cursed under his breath, soaking in the incredible rush as his entire body shook from the experience, his breath ragged and eyes dilating.
How could something do that willingly?
It felt exhilarating and nerve-wracking. A similar sensation to watching horror flicks or games; however, those glorified tales were meant to trigger that sweet, sweet adrenaline pumping without the risk. Something he is utterly fine with-enjoys actually- and preferably do that than...this.
He let out a shaky breath as he flung himself forward and vaulted back home.
Adrien lowered himself into his room with the staff, not trusting himself to land light-footed, while checking around his room for a possibly surly Félix waiting for his return. He isn't here, thankfully. To be fair, Adrien should have expected that since Félix generally is out like a light whenever one of his episodes happens. Convenient for what he is about to attempt, putting the blasted ring on Félix's finger. Now to transfo-
Wait, he cannot-for the life of him-recall how to revert to civilian form. He knows 'claws' is the first word, but the second word slips his mind. In? Is it in? No way-that is too plain, obvious even. Then again, these things can be weirdly complicated in how they function but what they do is simple.
Irritation is rising within Adrien as he tries to search through his jumbled-up memories of whenever his brother turned back-zilch. He grits his teeth, about to claw his head but halted right before contact.
No, no, no! Don't do that.
Keep emotions under control: Keep them in check.
What is it that was supposed to help again? No, not pulling hair, counting, or was it regulating breathing? Both?
He is getting frustrated, very, very frustrated. He glares at the ring, spinning it around before just yanking the damn thing off and praying for it to be a solution.
Bright green. That is all he saw for a split second before being greeted by a very pissed-off kwami glowering at him.
Adrien blankly stared back before his eyes darted away from the creature, avoiding eye contact. Blurting out the question that plagued him, "How do you turn back?"
"Adrien..."
"I overthought it, didn't I? It's claws in?"
"Stop avoiding the blatant problem."
"I-" Plagg flew into Adrien's sight, causing the boy to whip his head down.
"I'm not going to berate you. You are more than aware of what you did and the actions you should do to rectify it. I'm giving you a chance to do it, or I will. Kapeesh?"
Adrien felt Plagg carass him. A simple gesture that soothed Adrien more than the god will ever realize. He lifts his head, looking at the kwami with a quivering lip, "I already plan on it. Just...Let me do it tomorrow, ok? I am exhasted, and Félix is too."
Plagg gave a curt nod, "Very well."
Adrien played with the ring between his fingers and handed it to Plagg, "Can you take that to him?"
"Nope," the black cat said, annunciating the 'p' with a pop.
"Why not!?"
Plagg stretched and mewled, "Too tired from the supercharging my two kittens."
Adrien scowls, snatching the ring from the cat before stomping out of his headroom door. Plagg's ear twitches, flying behind him as the younger brother goes to the neighboring door.
Adrien cracks the door open, then glares at Plagg, "Don't. Try. Anything" This only earned him a freakish grin from the kwami.
Licking his lips, Adrien quietly transversed Félix's room before looming over the sleeping teen for a long while, intensely examining him.
Truth be told, Adrien never noticed how serene his brother appears when fast asleep, such a contrast to how harsh he is when he is...conscious? If you wanna put it that way.
He missed when Félix smiled more.
Conveniently, Félix's left hand, well, actually, his entire arm is hanging off of the bed with his face buried into the pillow, his hair unruly like a lion's mane.
God, he wished he could snap a picture of this, but, no, gotta focus on the task at hand.
Don't get distracted brain, please, be normal for five seconds. I beg.
Adrien got on his knees, bent over, and gradually placed the ring on Félix's middle finger. Once on, it camouflaged into the usual black with a blue band wrapping around it. Satisfied that he succeeded, Adrien sat up, catching a glimpse of something shiny in his peripheral vision; his breath hitches, and panic courses throughout his being, never lifting his head.
His eyes lock onto Félix's hand, the middle finger tapping on the bed frame.
Fuck.
He raised his head but never turned to Félix: he wouldn't do it. He couldn't stand to see the more than likely disheartened expression that HE caused because of his plans.
God. Why can't I ever look anyone in the eye if there is even a slight fault? Like a damn dog scared of its owner. It just makes me so incredibly timid.
"Tomorrow," spoke a voice thick with sleep, carrying a tone laced with distress and disappointment.
Adrien's face fell, jaw clenched as he shut his eyes and balled his hands into a fist.
I have done it; I destroyed his brother's faith in me to not mess with his duty-although, Félix won't ever admit it to me directly, but the tone carried that opinion without commenting.
I don't want to be alone...
Adrien jumped at something grazing his cheek, making Adrien choke and cough from holding his breath the entire time.
Once more, it touched his cheeks, lazily giving soothing motions, "Adri, remember to breathe. I know you are overwhelmed, but I don't want you to pass out on me."
"Y-yeah," Adrien breathed out, finally mustering up the courage to look at Félix, mentally preparing himself for the pained expression that put him in a downward spiral of misery in the upcoming weeks.
Crestfallen, that is how he would describe the emotion that swirled in the one eye that Adrien could see from his brother, who was still lying down, his hair covering the lower half of his face.
Adrien hated this feeling in his gut that twisted his insides constantly until it made him violently ill.
Why must he always disappoint his family when he tries so hard? Is trying not enough? Is it ever enough?
He felt fingers ruffle his hair, "Adri, get those thoughts out of your head."
"Easier said than done..."
"I understand, but at least attempt it to the best of your abilities. Sleep, we have school in a few hours, and I rather you get some shut-eye."
"That and Father abhors any dark circles..."
"This isn't about him. This is about your health. Fuck whatever the bastard thinks."
Adrien snorted. He truly wishes it was that easy for him to just ignore that, but Father is extremely stern on appearances for him than Félix, whether it is because of the modeling gig or the other thing, he is unaware.
"Do you want to sleep in here tonight?"
Shit, he can feel the tears nearly spilling out. "I need to be alone tonight," Adrien replied with a wavering voice.
Félix clicks his tongue, and concern flashes in his eyes as he wipes a forming tear, "I'm available always, even when I am not. Don't hesitate to seek me out."
The tears pour out, but Adrien just smiles: smile through it.
Fake it.
That is this family.
Fake.
Félix shot up and reached out to embrace his brother, something Adrien halted by backing away from the bed.
No, no, no, please, none of that. I will be unable to hold back crying if you hug me.
"I'm good! Great! Go back to sleep, Fé. I'll see you in the morning."
Before Félix could get a word out, Adrien rushed out of the bedroom and into his own, locking the door behind him before slamming his back on it, and sliding down to the floor.
Putting his head in his arms, he let it all out before going into a deep slumber.
