Alright this is my attempt to write comedy/romance revolving around James and Lily. It'll be romance; all I have to do is make them kiss; now comedy is a little harder…
"talking"
'thinking'
The day was clear, sunny, and pleasent. Fairly nice for the middle of December.
The month of December is known for many things. Christmas, snow, a fat man in a red suit, and the cold.
A young Miss. Evans shared some charecteristics with this famed month. For one, she could be cold, and every once in a while her real personality would shine in and she could be called pleasent. Of course she was not fat, never had a sex transplant, and looked terrible in red.
Lily prided herself in being tough, but fair…only, nobody else thought so too, besides the occasional teacher. She didn't become a prefect to use the bathroom, she was expected to punish if the rules were not followed. Take yesterday, some moron was playing with a Fanged Frisbee, in the middle of the hallway! In section 3a paragraph 2 it clearly states that whatever objects are deemed harmful by the caretaker must be confiscated.
.She mildly wondered how Filch thought a Fanged Frisbee could be harmful, but eagerly suggested that the students be punished with bats and large pointy things. She could still remember that meeting where Remus had claimed that Mr. Filch had a collection of whips. That had lead to an uncomfertable silence and the meeting had ended early by a unanimous silent vote.
Anyways, the kid had totally overreacted, yelling about how he had paid for it and spewing out rubbish about money and rights. Hey, you do nottalk about rights in front of Lily Evans; it wasn't her fault that he hadn't read Hogwarts's school rules and checked the list of harmful objects clearly posted in Filch's office. It also wasn't her fault Mr. Filch was a creepy sadistic man.
Lily pondered about what the meeting in the Great Hall was about. The Headmaster had melodramatically exclaimed that there was to be a meeting for all the eligible young witches sixth year and older with that annoying twinkle eye-thingy. It wasn't like they were going to the Prince's ball, the headmaster; no matter how powerful could really be a nutter.
She stopped by her dormitory putting on her glasses and went to pick up a book when her hair holderupperthingy snapped. It was a loud snap too, if she didn't know better she would have thought someone had apperated, but that was impossible, it said in Hogwarts: A History page 321. Grumbling in annoyance you could hear her mumbling about stupid hair thingamajigs, reading, and hair in the face. Everybody stayed away from her, a muttering Lily was a crancy point taker wayer Lily. Sighing she made her way.
Before she even made it to the Great Hall she could hear frantic whispers, smell the hairspray and perfume, and hear the screams, sighs, and squeals of delight. She stopped dead in her tracks, that could only mean one thing, the oh-so-perfect, girly looking (not really), icky, stupid, four guys who were just…blah!
She was of course talking about Hogwarts star four models, James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew. They were all models, extremely rich, and (as much as Lily didn't want to admit it) hot. If Lily didn't despise them so much she would have even used the word "sexy" to describe them, but alas, she did despise them and hot was all they deserved in Lily's opinion.
All the girls were lined up and on tip-toes to get a better look at them. She hurriedly got into line, and took out her book. Just because they were there didn't mean that she had to stop learning. Well she couldn't exactly call it learning. She had already read Hogwarts: A History many times (as you saw in her apperating quote), but she'd rather revisit this old book than give in to the world of hairspray and tiptoe-ing fangirls.
As soon as she openedher bookshe had to close it up because Dumbledore got up to give another one of his dreadfully long speeches.
"Hogwarts is proud to present an opportunity for young girls sixth year and up to become the next top model." At this point there were more gasps and whispers among the girls. "I would like to present four remarkable students who have juggled modeling, and schoolwork into their busy schedules. They have asked for four new girls from Hogwarts to model with them."
Rolling her eyes Lily decided that this wasn't worth her time and went back to reading, however she found herself listening subconsciously and re-reading the same sentence over and over again.
James POV
He looked at all the girls; they were all predictably the same. All ambitious to become his girlfriend and to be the next top model, along with the thousands of galleons that came with it.
He surveyed the entire group, ignoring Dumbledore's rants and couldn't find a girl who stuck out particularly. His quest for the perfect girl was interrupted by Sirius's obnoxiouswhisper, "Check out that blond babe. She could definitely model with me, if you know what I'm saying. Sirius snorted as ifhehad made some amazing joke. Siriusthought himself terribly funny because of all the fangirls that laughed at his joke about the vampire, witch, and goblin."How about you James, anything?"
James looked at where he was pointing; the girl was the poster girl for blondness. Skinny, buxom, and probably as smart as the pancakes he ate, but with less carbs. Perfect for Sirius.
James whispered, "I dunno, I can't see myself with any of these girls."
Sirius grinned, "You never could settle, you always needed a girl that would bite back, someone with spunk. You know, feisty." He said this entire thing with a straight face, I however couldn't. I probably looked likeone of thoseridukulus pumpkins during Halloween Hagrid carved with illegal magic. Could you blame me? Sirius just didn't have the awesome suave-ness (like me) to pull of a word like feisty. Sirius just looked gay...well gayer then usual.
With that Dumbledore motioned for us to choose someone, talk about good timing.
Lily's POV
This isdisgusting; these guys areexpected to just choose one of us. It's like we're just fruits and they need the ripest one for their dinner party. Not literally "ripe" they weren't going to just start eating us, no that would be cannibalism, and that's illegal. It'll get you 20 years in Azkaban.
Anyways it looked like the "Rogue" was gawking openly at this one blonde, Hufflepuff. Nice, I think, but she is so stupid that she'd probably ask you about the weather if she was trying to be mean.
By the "Rogue" I mean Sirius. All four of the guys have been labeled, not openly of course. In Sirius's pictures there is no giant "Rogue" in bold letters at the bottom of the page. Nobody really mentions it but everyone knows. James is the "Athlete," Remus is the "Brain," and Peter is the "Cute, Nice sensitive boy next store that might be gay."
Remus is talking to a pretty brunette in Ravenclaw while Peter is merely browsing, the prat. James is just standing there, staring intently. You could almost say he looked thoughtful and deep, until you realized he was a model who had probably practiced that look 500 times in front of his mirror. Oh, wait he is moving. Starting from the beginning of the line he inspected all the girls. This is my que to start reading again.
James POV
James is, well, he's inspecting all the girls starting from the beginning of the line, just like Lily said. All the girls were smiling and giggling when he walked by them, as soon as they did that he moved on to the next girl, 'who cares if she was pretty, who wants a girl who wont stop giggling in front of you.' He kept moving on and he was almost at the end. It would be better to just pick a pretty girl, he was looking at a pretty Asian girl when he saw a girl, well he saw thousands of girls, but this girl, she was, wow.
Everybody says that time stops when you meet the love of your life, at least that's what my parents said. I saw her beautiful long red hair, her cute freckles, and her glasses on the bridge of her nose. She didn't even care about us guys, all she did was read.
It would have been perfect, but nothing nice ever lasts with Sirius.
"Did you find your feisty love?" he asked while nearly knocking me over.
I just narrowed my eyes and left to find the mysteries red head. I can't call her mysterious, after all she wasn't wearing a mask, but she was intriguing.
I went strolling over to her casually and waited for her to notice me. So I waited…
And waited
And waited some more
Until I got so frustrated that I tapped her on the shoulder and asked quite suavly, "Excuse me Miss, but may I have the name of this lovely young lady?"
She raised her eyebrows and promptly asked, "Why?"
'Smart answer' Lily cringed to herself.
Smiling I said "Why so you can become my new partner in crime-er- modeling."
She looked at him, took off her glasses, rubbed her eyes, and just stared. I couldn't help noticing her beautifully green eyes, like, like fresh pickled toads on a summer day. Well, I was never all that great at similes anyway.
"Pardon me?"
Grinning James smile, "It's a muggle phrase, anyway what do you thing about the modeling industry. You, me, together?"
"Ummm, I'd rather not; after all modeling is just a bunch of vain fools trying to fool other people into thinking that they're pretty.
James of course resented that, "I resent that!"
"Well come on, you four have probably never earned a penny in your lives," Lily retorted.
"I work for all my money, you know I model."
"That's not really work, anyone can do it." 'Is it really all that smart to criticize a guy with thousands of crazy obsessed fans, many of which are in this room?'
Grinning James said, "You know, I like em' feisty"
Lily laughed straight in his face; well it looked like he didn't have enough awesome suave-ness to pull off feisty either.
Was it any good? I can always fix it; you know change some words around. If y'all don't review I won't write anymore. Teehee y'all is a fugly word.
Review Goal (for this chapter, 15, or 10, whichever comes first)
Wont write till Goal is achieved, if you really want me to post you can just review me 15 (or 10) times, I don't mind having 15(or 10) reviews from 1 person.
Till we meet again (or not if u don't review)
Added June 30...Sirius and his suave bad self
Sirius grinned and strutted over to that blond babe in all her beautiful blondess.
She was surrounded by her friends and they giggled when he came over. This made Sirius grin even more.
"So, what's your name?"
Shyly she replied, "Brianna"
Before she knew what was going on Sirius yelled, "MOONY BABY! YOU FOUND YOURSELF A GIRL, GIVE ME A HUG!" Brianna was dragged to a frantic Moony who tried to drag his newly found girl away from Sirius.
Sirius jogged slightly to reach Remus, Brianna still wrapped around him. "You dog!"
Remus stared blankly, and knowing he was walking into something humiliating and/or stupidhe retorted, "You're the dog."
"Yes, but because I was you girl finding tutor that makes you honorary dog, you've joined the RUFFian club, giRls foUnd From ruFf."
"Sirius, that doesn't make any sense."
"That's because I just made it up, and I'm not very good at making things up on the spot. You're not proud? I made two words that start with the same letter."
"Alliterations?"
"Right so who is this charming young lady you have snatched?"
"Why are you interested in my girl? What about your own? You've spent all your time ignoring her."
"By George you're right! I guess the right thingto do is to ignore your pathetic pleas for help."
"I never-"
"Hey, there is James with his feisty love! Let's go Brianna."
"Sirius?" Remus was about to warn Sirius to never say feisty again, but then again, he had been a total prat in front of Riley."
"God Speed."
Talking with Brianna he said, "Remus still has much to learn in his RUFFian classes, he's probably talking about studies with that girl."
Remus POV
"So what did you think about the potions test from Slughorn the other day?"
