The word hung in the air between them.
"Relationship? We have a very good relationship. I think we've developed a very good working lawyer-client relationship, don't you?" With Sonny's eyes fixed on her so intently, Alexis felt herself beginning to ramble, but couldn't help herself. "Are there some complaints about something I've done that has endangered that? Because if there is a concern that I've overstepped my bounds in some areas concerning out working relationship, then I'd hope that our relationship…that of friends – would not stop you from informing me of that fact."
"Alexis…you wanna breathe now?"
But she was on a roll, now. Stop talking, shut up Alexis…but her mouth had a mind of it's own. "Is there a situation that I haven't been made aware of that involves the side of your business that I really don't want to be made aware of. Up to now, we've been pretty much been able to keep the two of them separate. And I'd really like to keep it that way and that way we can keep our relationships on an even keel. I mean, Consigliore is not a term I'm fond of. Not that I'm not fond of you, because you are a man who's worthy of those feelings, even while at the same time you are kind and thoughtful and endearing and sometimes possibly redeemable at times, you are also cool, and calculating and amazingly devoid of all moral sensibilities of a rational and law-abiding society whenever it suits you. And that's not the sort of relationship I have when I envision our future together."
"Alexis…" Sonny finally managed to interrupt. "Our future? Together?"
She blushed as the implications of what she had just said impacted on her. "I..I...just meant that…"
"I think it's sweet, Councilor." Sonny said. "I mean, I'm glad that you're fond of me, and find me endearing and even redeemable."
Said councilor groaned inwardly as she recognized the devilish light in his eyes and the amusement in his voice. She turned away from him and began to go through the folders of papers on her desk, but she was startled when all of a sudden, Sonny's hands were taking the papers from her hands, then he was turning her to face him again, hands on either side of the desk, effectively trapping her so that she couldn't bolt and run. Option one, gone. Option two…breathing. That would be nice and a definite necessity in the long run.
Since the first betrayal of her heart against her mind, Alexis had managed to reach a place where she could armor herself against Sonny's presence, even though the woman in her could no longer resist the man practically holding her in h is arms. Her treacherous heart could still be armored and so he had little hint of the turmoil going on behind her own puzzled gaze. He didn't know how her senses swam at scent of him, how her knees threatened to weakened from the almost-pressure and the almost animal heat of his body so close to hers, and of course, he had no clue to how she found herself so willing to drown herself in the twin dark brown eyes of his gaze.
They were face to face, so close that Alexis could see deep into his eyes, and beyond the amusement, there was something serious lurking there in his dark gaze. Something that made her heart skip a beat out of rhythm and made her seriously contemplate the need for an oxygen tank as his next words left her breathless.
"As a matter of fact," he said. "I've been imagining the future with you as well."
A small sound came from behind them and then Kristina was standing in the doorway, looking decidedly uncomfortable at the sight of the two of them in a decidedly compromising position. There they were, Alexis pinned by Sonny's body against the desk, the two of them very, very close. In more than the emotional sense. And Sonny showing no sign of moving. In fact, he hadn't even so much as turned his head at the sound of Kristina's voice. His entire attention remained focused wholly on Alexis. Alexis didn't know whether to be grateful or exasperated or terrified. Or all of the above.
"I'm sorry.." Kristina came in. She very carefully kept her eyes from touching either Sonny or Alexis. "I didn't mean to – interrupt. I hope you two have finished whatever the two of you were doing." She gulped visibly as the implications of what she'd said came to her.
Before Alexis could react, Sonny's cell phone began to shrill from his inner jacket pocket. His expression changed slightly, and with a regretful shrug, he moved away. "Yeah? Benny…" he moved away from the two women to take the call in private.
Alexis couldn't meet her younger sister's eyes, which now were burning bright with curiosity. Talk about your lady and the tiger scenario…behind door number one was Kristina and her unavoidable, inevitable barrage of questions. Door number two...well that would be Sonny. And she had the feeling that there too were questions there that she couldn't answer. Without trying to, she heard snatches of Sonny's voice as he spoke on the phone. Did she hear the name Carly? Her heart fell just a little bit more.
Sonny ended his phone call. He walked over to Alexis and she wasn't sure, but she thought she saw something very close to regret in his eyes. He tilted his head and smiled briefly in that little-boy way she'd come to know so well and somehow managed to find so endearing. His tone was apologetic. " I got…stuff I gotta take care of."
"It's okay Sonny," Alexis said, aware of the rush of relief that poured through her at his announcement. "As long as everything between you and I are fine?"
He only looked at her with one of his enigmatic looks again, but didn't answer her question. "We'll pick this conversation up at another time." Sonny turned, and nodding once to Kristina, left them.
Alexis turned her attention back to her desk, picking up a folder and sightlessly flipping through the papers there as she willed her heart to return to normal. When was she going to get past this absolutely ridiculous crush on Sonny Corinthos? The sooner, the better for the both of them. She could get back to the playful back and forth teasing they'd always had since their friendship had first begun to grow, and Sonny, well, he could admit what was in his deepest heart and go back to Carly, and she could be happy for him that he was happy.
In a sudden fit of rage, Alexis slapped the folder down on the desk. At the same time, she suddenly became aware of Kristina calling her name.
"Alexis…Alexis? Alexis!"
"What?" Alexis snapped the word out harsher than she'd meant to.
"I just wanted to apologize for barging in on you and Sonny…it looked like I was interrupting a very intimate moment between you two. Not that it isn't about time."
Alexis moved away from the desk and walked into the living room. She threw herself down on the couch. "There was no intimate moment, Kristina. He is my client, and I am his lawyer. And his friend."
Kristina followed . "Who happens to be in love with him. And I wouldn't be too sure that Sonny doesn't feel anything for you at all, either. I heard what he said to you…about imagining a future with you…"
"You were eavesdropping on us?" Alexis fixed her own dark gaze on Kristina, her eyes hardening in spite of herself. Old habits die hard, and Alexis was too used to guarding her privacy not to react.
"I came back from walking Jax back to his car. The door wasn't quite closed, and I heard the two of you talking…and I was waiting for an opportune moment to come back into the apartment. I wasn't listening in on purpose."
"Of course, you weren't." Alexis sighed and lowered her head into her hands. "Let me explain something to you. Sonny is my friend, yes. But he is also my client. I am his lawyer. In his words, the best lawyer he's ever had. He may pay me an exorbitant amount of money for being that, but I'm worth every dime of it. It's in his best interests to consider a long term plan and a future together."
"But Sonny is more than a friend to you, isn't he? How can you be sure that's all he means? Why is so outside the realm of possibility that he has feelings for you too…just like you have feelings for him?" Kristina wouldn't let up. It was so obvious that the both of them were way past friendship. If only the two of them weren't being so dense and stubborn about it. They were so much alike it was scary. So used to being in control, that both of them were too afraid, too guarded to let those last shield around them down….and so they danced around each other likes moths around a flame.
This had been one of those times when Sonny had gotten through her carefully erected shields. How did he do it, she wondered to herself for the umpteenth time. Sonny could go from charming and smooth to bone chilling ruthless mob-man and then to almost-little boy tender and all points in-between, sometimes with such blinding speed, that it shook her equilibrium and left her emotions floundering, with no anchor to hook onto. This time, it left her emotions dangerously close to the surface. The last thing she needed was Kristina pushing at her.
"I don't have those feelings for him!" Alexis answered her.
"Maybe not, but that's just because you won't allow yourself to." Kristina came right back. "When I'm in the room with the two of you, my God, I can feel thetemperature rise and the auras heat."
"Kristina, leave it alone." Alexis said. She stood and began to pace the length of the room. "If I had these feelings, and I'm not admitting that I am – this is a conjecture on a hypothetical situation at best. – then they would be my feelings, and my choices, and I wouldn't appreciate you butting into them." She'd heard her self sounding angrier and angrier as she talked. Alexis made a visible effort to lower her voice. "Even though, I'd be very much aware that you were doing it out a very good and decent place in your heart."
"I just want you happy, Alexis. If this is the man that makes you happy, then I want you with him. You deserve the all the love that he can give you, all that he can lay at your feet. You showed me your heart from the first moment that we first laid eyes on each other. And I've come to know that you deserve to be worshipped as the wonderful, warm woman that I've come to know and love. I know how much love you're capable of giving, of accepting. Of how much your heart has had to bear, and how hard you try to protect it. Don't do this to yourself. Life has hurt you too much, love has hurt you too much…this time, just let it be…let it out…let it free…"
Wouldn't that clear your way to Ned? Alexis thought in an errant spurt of rage and was instantly ashamed of herself. She and Ned had been over long ago, probably even from the day that she'd run away from him on their wedding day that never was. Her heart beat in her chest painfully, and to her own horror, she felt the tears welling up in her eyes. When had it begun to hurt so much? Is this was what heartache felt like? She thought she'd known what it was when she and Ned had parted and she'd known that this time, it had been for the last time. But there was a bittersweet touch to that parting. A fond farewell to all the sweet memories and moments they'd shared together. But now, with all that she felt for Sonny, and never being ever to express it, to show it. To be his friend only…and to know that his heart still belonged to Carly, no matter how much he said it didn't, it had the power to hurt. She walked to window and stared out into the growing darkness. There was a storm coming...she could see it there on the horizon
"Let it out? Let it free?" Alexis' voice thickened with her unspoken emotions. "Let it out, that I'm in love with Michael "Sonny" Corinthos, resident mob-boss of the city of Port Charles? Fine…I love him."
She paused and took a shaky breath and repeated herself, her voice gone breathy with a mix of wonder and pain.
"I love Sonny."
She turned away from the encroaching night and faced Kristina.
"Happy?" All the sadness in the world was there in that single word as a single tear traced its way down her cheek.
"You've won. Feel better now?"
Kristina didn't feel better at all.
