I know it's been a little while but I've been real busy. Oh well, enjoy the next installment of this story.
Cluny #2 set up and rubbed the side of his head. "Ow! Could you warn a person next time?"
"Sorry" replied the girl.
"Hey Tari!" A second Matthias came striding down the stairs munching on a slice of pizza and carrying three other boxes. "did you order the pepperoni with breadsticks and marinara sauce on the side?"
"That's mine"
"Hey, where's my sausage, cheese, butterscotch, hot fudge, anchovy, pepper, bacon, and mushroom?" Cluny 2 whined.
"Umm… I think Tag has it." answered Matthias 2. He and Tari exchanged looks of disgust.
Right on cue Tag and Veil came down, both munching away on slices also. Matthias 2 looked at them, thought about something a moment, counted them, counted on his fingers, then asked "Where's the fourth member of our posse?"
"He's sulking up in Great Hall." Veil answered.
"The intro thing?" asked Tari.
"Yeah"
From up in Great Hall a voice called down "I'm not coming in without it!"
"Oh, for the love of Pete!" Tari stamped her foot.
"Who's Pete? Someone I should be worried about?" asked Cluny 2 suspiciously.
"Will you get your egotistical butt in here? The pizza's getting cold." Tari called up.
"Say it!"
"Fine" Tari grumbled, pulling a microphone out of nowhere.
Suddenly the lights went out and four spotlights swirled around the room then focused on Tari, WWF style.
"Ladies and not-so-gentle beasts, put your paws together for the sword-wielding wonder, the vanquisher of countless foes, the hero and founder of Redwall Abbey, the mouse who's name has become legend, the one, the only, Maaarrrtttiiinnn ttthhheee Waaarrrriiiooorrr!"
The spotlights swirled around again then came to rest on none other than the legendary mouse warrior himself. He sauntered down the stairs while Veil, Tag, Cluny 2, and Matthias 2 clapped halfheartedly.
The rest of the creatures in Cavern Hole just stared wide-eyed and open-mouthed.
"Thank you, thank you. Please, please, hold your applause. I'll be here till Thursday."
"Now that this ego trip is over, can we please get back to eating?" asked Veil impatiently eyeing the stack of boxes Tag had set on the table.
"Are you really Martin the Warrior?" asked Matthias 1.
"That's my name don't wear it out." turning around to face him Martin gasped. "Hey! There are two Matthiases!"
"And two Clunys." Tag pointed out.
"How is this even possible?" Veil asked "I know we've been through some strange things but nothing like this."
"I have a theory" Tari mused "either that fish we ate last night really was bad and has pushed our already fragile minds to the breaking point or we've somehow slid into an alternate, parallel universe."
"And how do you figure that?" asked Matthias 2.
"Well, I have a little film here I think will explain it all." Said Tari rolling out a projector and pulling down a white sheet from the wall. After which she popped in "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban."
"Of course!" Veil shouted after the movie was over "It all makes since now!"
"I don't get it. If Ron and Herminie love each other why do they fight so much?" puzzled Cluny 2.
"I'll explain it to you later." assured Martin.
While this was going on Matthias 1, Constance, Abbot Mortimer, Cluny 1, and Redtooth had quietly slid out and up the stairs locking the door behind them.
"They're crazy!" Matthias 1 gawked.
"Aye they are a bit soft in the head." Redtooth agreed.
"Enough! Redtooth, we're leaving before those insane beasts figure out we locked them down there. You, Abbot mouse, you can expect us back here to conquer this place soon." With that Cluny 1 turned on his heel and stalked off, Redtooth close behind.
"I'd better go tell the wall guards to let them out." Matthias hurried off.
"What should we do about those creatures down there?" Constance nodded towards Cavern Hole.
"I don't know, my friend, I just don't know."
Just then there was a knock on the Cavern hole door.
Abbot Mortimer exchanged a worried looks with Constance. Cautiously he inched the door open. Quite without warning Tari thrust her head through the opening, startling the Abbot and Constance.
"Excuse me, but would you by any chance, have a alkaline torch on you, would you?"
Both the Abbot and Constance shook their heads.
"Darn! Oh well, looks like I'll just have to order one."
Whipping out a cell phone she quickly dialed the number.
"Hello… yep, it's Tari… give me the usual, and make sure to ship them separately. We don't want a repeat of last times delivery."
Not five seconds after Tari hung up, than in walked Badrang the Tyrant and Gelltor Marlfox. Gelltor carried with him three freakishly large alkaline torches and Badrang carried a crate of canned mace and a 12 pack of grog.
……………………………
What is going on? Who knows? I for one don't. So what do you think, love it, hate it, curse me for abolishing the relative reality of the Redwall universe? Tell me!
