CHAPTER FIFTY-FIVE
Whispers
"Thanks for picking me up." Kristina said, as she stepped from the launch onto the pier. Stefan says a storm is set to blow in over the weekend, and suggested that I might be more comfortable on the mainland."
Alexis waved off her sister's thanks. "Not a problem; besides, I know Stefan and his 'suggestions.' Besides, I was glad to get out of the office for a moment."
Kristina linked arms with her as they began to walk. "And get your mind off of work – or Sonny?"
When Alexis didn't answer, Kristina halted in her tracks. "What's going on? Have you had another run-in with Carly?" Alexis had told her sister about the summons from Carly earlier in the week and Alexis knew that every time her sister thought about it, she still was outraged by it. Sometimes, she thought Kristina was more outraged than she, Alexis, was.
Alexis was torn. On one hand, she wanted to give Sonny the space he needed. She didn't want to stoop to Carly's level of schemes and plans. But on the other hand, she didn't know how long she could take seeing the pain he was in. Sonny was still refusing to let her into his heart. She was even starting to believe that he was doing his best to avoid her without appearing to do so.
"Can we just say, I was glad to get a chance to see you?"
"You see me almost every day, Alexis." Kristina pointed out. "When you aren't driving yourself with your work. And don't think I can't see it. You're trying to stay busy so you don't have a chance to be sad. Or is it mad?"
Alexis sighed. "Neither. Both. All right, it depends on the day."
Kristina laughed. "At least you're being honest about it." She paused. "What about Sonny? What are you going to do about him?"
"I don't know. Until I can prove anything, there's not much I can do. Be there, if he needs me – but I don't know if he'll ever admit that –again." Her eyes darkened as she remembered Sonny's voice admitting that very thing to her the night they'd had made love.
"You are going to prove it, I know you are. Carly and her lies don't stand a chance against the truth. And I'll know you'll find it."
"And if I do find it, what then?" Alexis asked. "How do I tell Sonny what Carly did. How do I tell him that someone he loved was willing to inflict that kind of pain on him?"
The thought of the pain Sonny would feel tightened her throat in empathy "What will that do to him?" she asked, her voice a half-whisper.
"The truth will free him, Alexis." Kristina said. "And how ever much it hurts him, you will be there and that will make a world of difference. You're good for him. The best."
Alexis squeezed Kristina's hand. "You're good for me. You're the best."
"Of course I am." Kristina answered with a laugh. "Besides, while you're looking out for Sonny, somebody has got to look out for you. Who better than me? And that reminds me, don't forget…we're having dinner at the Grille tonight.
"You promised." Kristina said, as she saw the start of a protest in Alexis' eyes. "Even though you've obviously forgotten. You need to get out of the apartment and eat some decent food and business dinners with your clients do not count. And when you're home, it's worse –popcorn and cappuccino are not a part of a healthy diet. If you don't – I'll tell Jax. And he can bring over some of his wonderful morning shakes." Kristina pulled out her cell phone and shook it at her sister in warning.
"All right – all right." Alexis gave in before Kristina made good on her threat. Jax and his disgustingly healthy protein shakes. Alexis shuddered in spite of herself. "Dinner at the Grille. Seven o'clock. I'll meet you there."
"Hey Dad! Did you see! Did you see!?"
"I saw you Michael! You did good!" Sonny called back. He and a few boys, sons of some of his men, were kicking around a soccer ball. Sonny stood at one edge of the field, alone, as he'd requested.
The sun was late in the afternoon sky and Sonny checked his watch. "Almost time to go, Michael – your mother's expecting you!" He called out.
"Aww dad!" Michael's response, so typical of little boys brought a momentary smile to Sonny's face. A smile that faded away too soon.
Sonny let his gaze drift away from the playing field for a moment. Away to the west he could just make out the river edge. Sonny could just make out two figures walking from the docks. He fancied for a moment, that it was Alexis walking there and laughed humorlessly to himself. Even if it were – and it wasn't – so what? He wasn't strong enough to make a quick and brutal break, no Sonny couldn't bring himself to say the words that cut Alexis out of his life forever; he damned himself for what must be the hundredth time for his weakness. It was for her own good, his mind argued. Didn't she have enough danger in her life without him adding the curse of his own life to it?
But even the half-promise of a glimpse of her set his heart to aching, whether he would admit it or not. Alexis. Her name whispered through his minds and inhabited his dreams. And that's where her name would have to stay. A whisper in his dreams.
A soft hand touched his arm from behind. Sonny turned quickly, in spite of his earlier vow, half-expecting, half-hoping to see her.
"Sonny?"
His heart fell to splinter into a million pieces somewhere beneath the soles of his shoes.
"Doesn't our son look wonderful?" Carly smiled up at him. "So happy."
Sonny glanced back out at the field, Michael's face as he turned to see his parents together lit up as though a thousand watt bulb had gone off under his skin.
"He's happy kid. He always bounces back, no matter what."
"He's happiest when he sees us together. He'll be even happier when we're all back together at home."
Sonny turned to face her finally. "Carly, we've been over this a million times already. You and Michael at your mother's brownstone; it's the best thing for now. Your mother has taken time off from her job so she can be there for you. She almost lost her daughter. Your son almost lost his mother. Bobbie bore the brunt of Michael's missing you. She deserves this time with you. She needs it."
Carly shrugged. "I guess you're right." She admitted.
"I know I am. And so do you."
Carly turned away to watch Michael and Sonny heaved a silent sigh of relief. He didn't know how he was gong to deal with this situation. Common sense said to just let his life go on as it was. Carly was used to the danger, he was used to Carly – in his own fashion – and most importantly, Michael deserved both his parents together under one roof, didn't he? Didn't he owe Carly something for endangering her life? What was his own happiness besides all of that? He'd never really expected that in his life anyway. He didn't deserve it. Hadn't God proved that to him enough times?
"Sonny?"
He groaned inside. He could tell from the tone of her voice, that Carly hadn't let the subject of 'them' go yet. "Yeah, Carly?"
"How about we meet for dinner? I've been cooped up in the house ever since I got home from the hospital. You, me and Bobbie. A grown up meal, with some grown up conversation. One more happy meal and happy talk, and I'll scream."
"What about Michael?"
"He can have dinner with Jason or Courtney at the brownstone. Neither one of them would mind coming over to spend some time with him, if we ask."
"Fine." Sonny acquiesced easily enough, ignoring her unsubtle emphasis on the "we". Bobbie's presence would make it tolerable, and it just wasn't worth the headache that a flat-out denial would bring. He could already feel the beginning of one nibbling at the edges of his mind. No sleep, no decisions, no release, the cycle kept going around and around and he saw no way out.
Or better still, the only way out, he'd closed the door on.
Alexis.
Against his will, her name, her voice, her touch whispered through his mind.
Sonny damned himself once more.
