Okay, this fic is written by Klinoa and Chiharu Nekama, two members of The Evil Role-Players of Doom. Be forewarned, it's insane, but in a humorous way.
Ironically enough, many of the events that take place in this story are actually based on Klin and Chi's many camping trips.
DISCLAIMER: Right now we own nothing. Although, we will be adding a few OC's later on. no one big, just some minor chacters to spruce things up a little.
Chapter 1
Pietro's Great Idea
It was a warm sunny day in early August, and the Brotherhood Boarding House, for once, had no strange activities going on inside. Freddy sat, eating, in front of the T.v., Toad sitting beside him, eyes fixated closely on the screen. Wanda was avoiding the boys upstairs, holed up in her bedroom.
Lance seemed to be the only one who was actually doing anything of any purpose. He was standing shirtless in the driveway, looking remarkably like a cowboy with the hose in one hand and a soapy sponge in the other. He was ready to take on the dry mud the defiled the chassis of his baby.
As he was about to start scrubbing the black jeep he cared so deeply for, he was almost run down by a streak of flesh and silver in blue jeans, "Pietro!" He snapped, picking up the hose he had dropped in the shock of the encounter. "Watch it! You almost knocked me over!"
"B-But Lance!" Pietro exclaimed, skidding to a stop and whirling around, waving a folded advertisement in his hand. "I found the coolest thing ever! You've got to see it! We've got to go! Look look look- why don't you have a shirt on?"
Fighting the urge to hit something, namely Pietro, Lance growled. "I am not wearing a shirt because I am working on my jeep and it is a million degrees out here." Glancing at the piece of paper still clutched in Pietro's fist, he said, "Now I know I am going to regret this, but what've you got there?"
"Oh man, you'll love it! I was in the mall, and this hot girl was handing out flyers for this awesome campground. We have to go. It's got a canteen, tennis courts, mini golf, a playground, and this perfect beach! I'm sure there'll be tons of gorgeous girls there, all of which will adore me. Can we go? Please please PLEASE?"
Lance sighed. It was the theater thing all over again. The last time Pietro had dragged them all somewhere, it had not ended well.
"Pietro we are not going camping. I repeat, we are NOT going camping."
"But we have to go camping. We HAVE to!" Pietro whined at him, approaching him with a trembling lower lip. "Please? We must! If we don't, I swear I'll die!"
"We are not going camping!" Lance repeated gruffly, giving Pietro a 'give it up' look. Pietro let out a cry of mourning and fell to the pavement, curling into a ball and shivering like a frightened animal. Lance shook his head at hid companion and began to scrub the hood of his jeep.
A few moments later, Toad poked his head out an open window in the living room. "Hey, guys!" He called hopping out the opening and onto the grass. "Watcha doin'?" He promptly caught a beetle and popped it into his mouth.
Lance curled his lip in distaste. "That is disgusting Toad."
The frogboy shrugged. "It might be gross to you man, but I love it." He then noticed the shaking ball that was Pietro. "Hey yo, what's wrong with Pietro?"
"Nothing a few dozen years of therapy wouldn't cure." Lance muttered.
Pietro sprang up, "That's not true. I'm terribly hurt because you won't take us camping. You are a HORRIBLE friends Lance Alvers! Horrible."
"Camping?" Toad piped up, "We were gonna go camping? Why can't we go camping Lance? I wanna go camping?"
"We're not going camping, Toad! Will you both just leave me alone?" He scrubbed at his jeep in silence for a few moments, then turned to his friends. "Will you two please go away and stop staring at the back of my head?"
Pietro opened his mouth to speak and ended up gurgling with a jet of water in his mouth. Doubling over, choking on the water, and Lance spun to face Toad and sprayed him in the side of the head as he tried to escape.
Pietro and Toad began to scream as they scampered around the front yard, becoming soaked as Lance sprayed them both several more times. Pietro let out a high pitched scream, scrambling out of the way and smashing into the side of the house.
"Oh the agony! I'm injured! I've broken something! My hair is out of pace! I'm going to be horribly disfigured! Oh the humanity!"
Toad crouched next to him, adding to the tirade. "Man Lance. Look at what you did, not only have you crushed our dreams by saying that we can't go camping, but you've hurt Pietro as well. What is wrong with you man?"
Freddy, who seemed to have been alerted by the creaming from the front lawn, suddenly appeared in the doorway. "What're you guys doing out here?" He asked. "I can't hear my T.v. shows."
"He won't let us go camping Freddy!" Pietro announced, shaking his head and spraying Toad with more water. "You wanna go camping, don't you? I know you wanna! Don't you wanna go camping?"
"Camping?"
"Yeah man!" Toad exclaimed. "Pietro wants us all to go camping, and so do I, but Lance said no. It's already two against one. If you say yes it'll be three against one."
"Say YES!" Pietro bellowed. "Say yes. Say yes. SAY YES!"
Freddy nodded, "Yeah, I wanna go camping." He turned to Lance. "Why can't we go camping Lance? I wanna go camping Lance."
A large vain was now showing on Lance's forehead. "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL THAT IS HOLY, WE ARE NOT GOING CAMPING!" Lance made a face that one would expect to find on a person who had escaped from the metal ward. "DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR!"
"No," said Pietro.
"Nope," said Toad.
"Not really," said Freddy.
A creaking sound was heard from above, and Wanda poked her head out of her window. "What are you idiots doing down there?"
"We want to go camping!" They all cried, minus Lance. "We want to go camping! Camping, camping, camping, camping!" They all began to dance around the front lawn, as the vain throbbed in Lance's forehead.
"WE ARE NOT GOING BLOODY CAMPING, SO WILL YOU ALL JUST SHUT THE HECK UP!" Lance roared. The boys all stared in terror at Lance, their faces pale.
"Oh shut up Lance!" Wanda ordered, leaning her chin on her hand. She looked them over, then spoke again. "Take them to the stupid campsite. Take them so they'll shut up!"
"You're coming too Poopsie! It's a full Brotherhood outing." Toad smiled up at her in, what he imagined to be, a charming fashion.
Wanda turned red. "Toad! What have I told you about pet names?"
"Not to give you any, or die."
"Then listen to me."
"Why, I always do my crimson cutie."
Wanda rubbed her temples. "Sure you do."
Pietro spoke up. "Well, how 'bout it sis? Are you gonna come or not?"
She sighed. "Oh why not? I've got nothing else to do."
"Yes!" Pietro pumped a fist in the air. "Now all we have to do is tell Pyro."
"PYRO!" Wanda yelped. "You're not telling me that that insane Australian is alone in the house? Unsupervised?"
"Uh, yeah." Freddy said.
"Find him. FIND HIM! Before he burns this dump to the ground."
Pietro, toad, and Freddy all took off into the house to find Pyro. They ran into a panicked looking Wanda on the way inside, who joined their search. Soon enough, their fears were realized as the smell of smoke filled their nostrils.
Running toward the kitchen, they bumped into Pyro. "PYRO!" Wanda cried, grabbing his shoulder roughly. "What are you doing in here, you maniac?"
"Hey! Hands off1" He exclaimed, brushing he off and looking offended as he moved over to the toaster, popping his blackened, billowing toast. "What're ya all looking at? I like me toast black."
"Toast?" Wanda said in a strangled voice.
"Oh course Sheila, what did ya think I was doing?" Pyro raised an eyebrow.
"Setting the curtains on fire," said Freddy.
Pyro shrugged. "There aren't any curtains left for me to burn, I got them all already."
"Of curse you did." Wanda muttered. "Of course you did." Then she snorted, "And for the last time you idiot, my name is Wanda. Not Sheila. I don't care if you're Australian and that's what you people call women. Call me Wanda!"
"Whatever Sheila." Pyro replied.
Grabbing Wanda before she could kill Pyro, Pietro said, "Hey Pyro! We all want to go on a Brotherhood camping trip. Are you in?"
"Camping?" Pyro had a funny light in his yes. "You camp in forests. Forests are made of wood. Wood burns ever so well. I'm coming."
"Yes!" Pietro exclaimed, whooping and releasing Wanda, who disappeared up the stairs. "Okay, it's's four..No, five, counting Wanda, against one! We win we're going camping. Haha ha!"
"Yay!" Toad cheered, shaking Pietro's arm. "Let's's go tell Lance that we're going camping! Let's go, let's go!" The four guys ran out of the house in a stampede of happy screams, almost crashing into Lance.
"What are you guys doing?" He exclaimed, throwing out his arms out protect his now spotless jeep. "Be careful, be careful! My baby! Stay away from my baby!"
Pietro grinned, "Lance, I am not at all sorry to inform you that, your baby is going to get very dirty. It's official, we are going camping, and we are taking your jeep. Campgrounds have a lot of dirt my friends, your baby's going to end up filthy."
"For the last time Pietro, we are not going camping." Lance growled.
Toad came hopping up. "Yes we are man. Even sweetums said yes. That means you have no choice. It's five against one. You lose."
Lance groaned. "Why in the name of God do you guys want to go camping?"
"Hot girls!" Pietro cried.
"Bugs." Toad announced with a grin.
"My diet! No stores, no junk food." Freddy admitted looking determined.
"Flammable materials." pyro giggled looking a little happier than he should have.
Lance heaved a sigh and made shooing motions at them "Okay, okay.." He muttered, then had to pause as the other boys erupted into cheers. When they quieted he pointed a finger at them. "But when we get back, You guys have to clean my jeep! Got it?"
Pietro snorted. "I don't clean. Think of what all the chemicals could do to my perfect skin."
Crossing his arms over his chest, Lance shook his head. "Then we don't go. If I don't get assurance that my jeep will be cleaned then my jeep goes nowhere. If my jeep goes nowhere, you go nowhere."
"Ah fine yo." Toad groaned. "If you take us camping, we'll clean your stupid jeep."
"Good." Lance answered, nodding at the,. "Then I suppose I can take you all camping. But we're leaving at 6 AM tomorrow morning. Be up or be left behind."
"Yes Sir!" Toad, Pietro and Pyro all saluted Lance, then the three of them and Freddy ran into the house to pack. Lance slumped against his jeep, shaking his head.
"This is not going to end well. Not at all."
Well, that's chapter one folks. Hope you all enjoyed it. Do review!
