Klinoa: (Fake sob) I've been abandoned, my partner in crime is not here at the moment. Oh well, what can you do? Here's the next installment of 'Camping with the Brotherhood'.
DISCLAIMER: It ain't ours. Never will be either.
Chapter 2
But I Wanna Sit There!
It was barely past dawn in the morning, and the softly singing birds had hardly just awoken. On a street where no sounds should have been heard at 5:30 in the morning, there was a surprising racket coming from a Victorian style house on the end.
All of the Brotherhood Boarding House was in a tumbling chaos of flying pillows and Pietro running around in his boxers.
"Pietro, put some pants on..." Lance sighed, shaking his head and rubbing his temples.
"I CAN'T put on some pants!" Pietro cried in a panic, waving his arms frantically. "I can't find my good pants. My HOT pants! MY SEXY PANTS!"
Lance raised an eyebrow at him as he placed a rolled up sleeping bag with a bunch of other packed stuff beside the door. "Your sexy pants, Pietro?" He questioned, turning back to him.
"YES, my sexy pants!" Pietro exclaimed, pulling his silver bed head hair. "My sexy pants! Wah! I cannot- I absolutely CANNOT- go camping without my sexy pants!"
Rolling his eyes, Lance sighed again. It was way to early in the morning for this. The only way to fix this was incredibly embarrassing, and he thanked whatever gods were listening that none of the others were here to see it.
"But Pietro, ALL your pants are sexy pants. You're always saying the EVERYTHING looks great on you." Fearing that he might die of self-disgust right on the spot, Lance waited for a response.
"Oh! Wait!" Pietro exclaimed, looking startled. "You're right! It's ME for God's sake! I look good in everything! Thanks Lance, you're a life saver." He thumped Lance on the back and disappeared up the stairs.
Lance shook his head, picking up two sleeping bags and carrying them out to the jeep.
Meanwhile, in the living room, a war was waging.
"But it's MY pillow! It's the only pillow I have."
"I want it! C'mon mate, ya can borrow one of my pillows!" (1)
"Nooo! I want my pillow!"
Toad and Pyro held the pillow tightly between the two of them, glaring at one another. Toad was clinging to it as though it was his child, and Pyro just looked irritated.
Freddy came lumbering in. "Uh Pyro? Why would you wand Toad's pillow, I mean, it probably has fleas or something."
"It does not!" Toad squawked. "I ate 'em all."
Pyro let go of the pillow, giving it a look of extreme distaste. "I changed my mind. You can have it mate. I don't want anything that critters like to live in."
Entering the room, Lance rolled his eyes, as Toad held the pillow lovingly. He picked up another set of sleeping bags, and carried them out to the jeep to join the others.
Wanda came down the stairs carrying two bags, a sleeping bag, and a pillow. Toad, who noticed her right away, snatched up his own sleeping bag and backpack, and pranced out the door after her.
Pietro soon came downstairs with a huge, overstuffed backpack, and two fluffy pillows. "I'm ready." He announced with a grin. Lance, who had just come back into the house, raised an eyebrow.
"Where do you think we're going, a hotel?" He asked.
"Hey!" Pietro snapped defensively. "For your information, everything in this bag is an absolute necessity! My hair-dryer, my moisturizer, conditioning shampoo, hair gel, bubble bath...Uh Axe deodorant body spray..."
Lance rubbed his temples.
"Pietro, I know you're straight now, but you were a gay man in a past life." With those parting words, he stomped out the door.
Freddy soon followed, with an offended Pietro behind him.
"Okay," said Lance. "Now that we are all here, I will tell you the seating plan."
"I call shotgun!" Pietro screamed.
"No you do not!" Lance snapped. "Wanda gets that one. I'm obviously in the drivers seat. Pyro goes in between the two of us. Freddy goes right behind me, with Toad next to him, and you next to Toad."
"What?" Pietro cried, taken aback. "B-But I called shotgun! I called shotgun! If I called shot gun, then I get shotgun!"
Toad also looked horrified. "I want- I want to sit with my little sugarlump!" He exclaimed.
"Sugarlump?" Lance and Wanda questioned together. Toad then burst into tears, blubbering about how he would die of loneliness in the back seat, and that Lance was condemning him to death.
Pyro stomped a foot angrily. "I don't want to sit in the middle!" He shouted, shaking his fist. "I want to go by a door! I can't breath in the middle, mate! I'll DIE in the middle!"
"I do not care, so all of you just shut up!" Lance barked. Then he turned to look at Freddy. "So...what's your problem?"
Freddy just shrugged his shoulders. "I don't really care where I sit." He answered calmly. "I'm not very picky about that sort of thing."
"Okay." Lance answered wide eyed. He was shocked that Freddy had reacted so well. He had expected him to whine and complain like the other three had.
Meanwhile, Pietro was having a temper tantrum on the ground. "I WANNA RIDE SHOTGUN!" He bellowed. "I NEVER get to ride shotgun! You never let me Lance! Never! You're so mean!"
Wanda snorted. "You idiot, he always let's you ride shotgun."
"Then it's mine by right!" Pietro yelled.
"No it is not." Lance stated. "Freddy has to sit in the back, he won't fit in the front. There are six of us going, so that means there will be three in the front and three in the back."
"But why do I have to be one of the others in the back. With Toad of all people?" Pietro whined.
"Because, moron, you and Toad are the skinniest. It makes sense to have you both in the back. That way we'll all be reasonably comfortable." Lance said with an air of finality.
"You should put Wanda next to Toad. I don't want to be."
Lance snorted. "You may not want to be Pietro, but I don't care."
"But, I'm not skinny, lance." Pietro cried, flexing his arm. "Just look at my muscles. Look, see them! See! Wanda's smaller, put her in the back."
"Pietro, you have the muscle structure of a twig." Lance told him. Pietro looked as if his earth had been shattered to bits. "And you're sitting in the back. That's final."
"You suck!" Pietro snapped. He stomped his feet then kicked the side of the house. They all heard a howl of agony, then there was silence.
Lance turned to look at Wanda. "Just wait." She said. "It'll come."
Then, "I did that on purpose."
Toad, Freddy, and Pyro all burst out in hysterical laughter. It became even worse as Pietro limped back over to them. "Hey yo!" Toad exclaimed, pointing at Pietro. "YOU suck!"
Toad then returned to laughing hysterically. A dark look crossed Pietro's face, and both Pyro and Freddy leapt out of the way as he jumped Toad. The lanky boy shrieked like a banshee as Pietro grabbed him by the hair and smashed him face first into the dirt.
"Die- you- little- greaseball!" Pietro growled, smashing Toad's face into the ground with each word.
At the same time, Toad cried out with each word. "Ow- ow-owwy-ouch!"
Lance quickly ended the fight by grabbing Pietro by the hair and yanking him up.
"OW OUCH OWOWOWOWOW! My hair! You are ruining my hair!" The speed-demon screeched.
Letting go of Pietro, Lance rolled his eyes as the silver-haired boy began finger-combing his hair back into place.
"Alright could we pack up the jeep and get going?" Wanda demanded.
The boys, Pietro whining, and Toad rubbing his head, all nodded and finished loading the jeep.
Wanda moved to the house to lock up, but was stopped by a frantic Pietro. "What is your problem?" She snapped, shoving him off of her.
"Don't lock up yet!" He cried, snatching at the doorknob as Wanda held him off. "Don't lock up yet! I have to go inside, Wanda! Let me in!"
"What do you want to do in there, moron?" Wanda questioned, still fending him away from the door. "Back off! Get away from me, idiot!
"Let me in!" Pietro cried in a whiny tone. "We've gotta call dad to tell him where we're going! Let me in!"
"Why the heck do we have to call him?" Wanda asked, raising an eyebrow at her idiot of a brother. "We're not calling Father, Pietro."
"But Wandaaa!" Pietro whined, prancing on the spot. "What if he comes looking for us? We could get in trouble."
"Oh no!" Wanda mock exclaimed. "In trouble with Father." She snorted. "You idiot. That man has no reason to come here."
"But what if he wants us to go on a mission?" Pietro cried.
Wanda raised her eyebrows at him. "Pietro, exactly how desperate would Father have to be, to send this three ring circus on a mission? We can't even get groceries without something going wrong, let alone go on an actual mission."
"Sue we can Wanda. We're the Brotherhood. We've got talent. We've got brains. We've got style." Pietro said triumphantly.
Wanda sighed. "Not counting myself, no we don't, no we most certainly don't, and no we don't."
Pietro let out a loud snort of protest and crossed his arms across his chest. "Fine then!" He grumbled. "I won't call Father. It'll be your fault when we get in trouble though."
"Oh, I'm so scared." Wanda replied, rolling her eyes. "Just go get in the jeep, you idiot."
Pietro dashed over to the jeep and jumped over the door into shotgun.
As the others began to pile in, the smug young man was lifted into the backseat. Soon, his face had turned into the pouty mug of a child.
"I wanna ride shotgun!" He wailed.
"No!" Five different voices screamed.
Pietro slouched in his seat, grumbling.
Within seconds, Lance, Wanda, Toad, and Freddy were all in their spots as well.
Pyro stood in front of the jeep with his arms crossed over his chest. He was repeatedly trapping his foot on the ground.
Not really wanting to know the answer, Lance asked. "And what is your problem Pyro?"
"I am not getting in that jeep until I'm allowed to ride somewhere other than the middle!" He announced looking determined.
As determined as he was, he couldn't defend against the three people that carried him over to the jeep and stuffed him inside.
"If I have to sit back here, then you have to sit up there." Pietro griped vengefully from the backseat.
"I will not sit her!" Pyro shouted. "I refuse to be trapped in this cramped space. You cannot- Hey! There's a lighter up here!" The insane Aussie gave a wild cackle. "Alright. I can sit here."
"It's not fair!" Pietro wailed. "Now everyone's happy with their seats, except for me."
"I'm not happy, Pietro." Toad piped up.
"You don't count." Pietro replied.
"Oh..." Toad pouted hurtfully.
"Okay, both of you just shut up." Lance ordered, turning the ignition. The jeep rumbled to life, and Lance switched gears. No more than to seconds later, they were on the move and heading for camp.
And the insanity begins! What fun. Stay tuned for the next part, and see if the boys drive Lance even further over the edge.
(1) Please try and ignore our horrible Australian accent. We know it's terrible, and we apologize.
Shout-outs
Chrissy: We're glad that you're enjoying things so far. Just wait, their camping experience will be one of a kind.
Realtfarraige: No, camping never will be the same again. Not once the Brotherhood give it a try. Stay tuned for more crazy moments. This story is going to be filled with them.
