Author's Note: Yata! Guess who this is, people? Chiharu Nekama! Hurray, right! Ifinally got to put something up in this fic! Aren't you all proud? So, since you all waited so patiently for Chapter Four, I will tell you a fun story beforehand... Oh yeah, and soon some events will start to be based upon our own crazy camping exploits (of which we are going on one of tomorrow, actually). It'll mention in the final comments on each chapter what events are true to life.
EARLIER TODAY...
Chi: Doo dee doo... making a sandwich and talking on the phone with Klinoa and Tiger pulls out sandwich meat, lettuce, bread, tomato, mayonnaise and a wide strip of leftover barbequed chicken Mmm... I wonder who made the chicken? I don't remember having chicken... thinks Well, maybe I was at Draven's house that day...
Klinoa: What are you doing?
Chi: Making a sandwich.
Tiger: Are you always eating!
Chi: No... Of course not! laughs sheepishly
Klinoa and Tiger: sigh heavily
Chi: goes about making her sandwich finally sits down and takes a bite of it O.o BLECH!
Klinoa: What?
Tiger: The hell!
Chi: Argh! The chicken!
Turns out my sandwich was made of a sliced, grilled potato that was trying to pass itself off as a slice of chicken breast. Pretty raunchy, people. Never, ever, mix potato and sandwich. Potato definitely doesn't taste good in a sandwich, and I am probably the least picky person on the planet. You have been warned, so don't ever forget the lesson that I learned the hard way from thet fugitive potato. Scary stuff.
Disclaimer: We are the owner's of zilch, nada, nothing... Well, I own a dog, and lots of how to draw books, and a fox stuffie named Naruto, and... You get the point. X-Men Evolution isn't ours and, to our dismay, probably never will be. Sad, I know.
Chapter Four
I'm Not Lost!
Another two hours into the trip and they were still driving. However, even Lance now appeared to doubt the route the dark haired boy had taken. And, to make things worse, almost everyone in the Jeep was grumbling and complaining.
"I'm hungry!" Pietro moaned, grimacing and sinking low in his seat, arms wrapped around his stomach. "Can we stop and get something to eat, Lance?"
"No, we can't." Lance answered, grinding his teeth. "We absolutely, positively cannot stop and get something to eat! And stop asking me, Shithead!"Pietro pouted in the backseat, rubbing his gut as it gave a grumbling snarl.
"But I'm sooo hungry!" Pietro howled, leaning back and squeezing his eyes tightly shut as if trying to seem as though he was suffering. "I'm going to shrivel up and die... You'll have to scrape my decimated corpse off of this seat!"
"We should be so lucky." Wanda growled.
"Somebody hit him!" Lance snapped.
"Freddy happily obliged. Leaning over Toad, he backhanded Pietro across the face, causing the silver-haired annoyance to fall promptly unconscious.
"Oops... I honestly didn't mean to do that."
"Don't worry about it." Wanda said. "Even if you did, nobody would've blamed you."
"Here here!" Shouted Pyro.
"Hey, yo, why can't we stop for a minute?" Toad questioned, scratching his cheek. The rest of them gave him warning looks. "WHAAAT? I'm hungry too!"
"Don't you start! I'm not gunna put up with this for much longer!" Lance growled. "If one of you mentions food OR stopping the Jeep one more time, I'm turning the Jeep around and heading home!"
"Yes Mom..." pyro muttered, crossing his arms and tilting back his head. Lance gave him a harsh glare, and John glanced over. He gave a yawn and turned his head away from him, a smirk spreading across his face.
"You are pushing it, firebug." Lance growled.
"Pushing what?" Pyro inquired innocently.
"Don't get smart with me! "Lance snapped.
"He can't, Lance." Said Wanda. "He doesn't know how to be smart."
"That hurt, Sheila." Pyro said, trembling his lower lip.
"I'm sure it didn't." She replied.
"It did! My heart aches with the pain you have inflicted upon me!" He cried, clutching the area over his heart and convulsing with fake spasms of pain. "Argh!"
"Will you cut it out, you jackass?You're gunna make me drive us right off the road!" Lance snarled, swatting at Pyro with one hand and staring intently past the windshield.
"Why would it matter?" Toad called from the back. "You've gotten us so lost, it wouldn't make it any worse!"
"If I hear one more crack about us being lost, you are all going to get out and walk!" Lance said viciously.
"We'd probably get there faster..." Toad grumbled under his breath.
"Okay, that's it!" Lance shouted. He slammed his foot on the break, jerking everyone else forward as the Jeep skidded to a stop and shut off the engine. "I hate you people!"
"You're just angry because you know we're right, mate." Pyro stated.
After a few moments of silence, Lace started the vehicle again. "Okay, I give up. I'll turn around and head back, but not because I think I'm wrong." He announced loudly. "I'm doing this to shut you morons up!"
"By head back you mean...?" Toad questioned worriedly. Lance tried to ignore the feeling of the small boys brown eyes boring into the back of his head, but eventually gave in to the frog-boy's half question.
"No, I don't mean that we're going home; I mean that we're going to turn back and try going the other way, okay?" Lance then continued to stare intently through the windshield. Pyro tapped his foot to the twang of his country music, tilting his head back and watching the clouds above them.
"Good. Because, as you know, I would be very, very offended if you decided to go home!" Pietro announced matter-of-fatly from the backseat, where he appeared to have not only awakened but now had himself pressed against the door to avoid touching Toad. "And you all know how I get when I'm offended!"
"Whiny?" Wanda asked sweetly, looking back at him.
"A crybaby?" Pyro added, grinning as he continued to stare up at the sky.
"No!" Pietro exclaimed, peeling himself from the door and waving his hands in protest. "The real way I get, you guys, not the way you imagine that I get! I get evil." There was a demonic glint in his eyes. A demonic glint that faded rapidly as Wanda burst into hysterical laughter, followed closely by the rest of the boys.
"You? Evil?" Wanda held her abdomen as though her sides would burst if she let go. "You are an idiot, Pietro, but you could never be evil!"
Pietro stuck out his lower lip in what he imagined to be a defiant gesture. In reality, it made him look like a pouting toddler.
"I can SO be evil!"
"No, Pietro," Lance said with a laugh. "Your father can be evil. Your sister can be evil. However, you can not be evil."
"Yeah, Pietro!" Toad piped up. "You're like the little 'yes-guy" in the old gangster movies. You know, the ones who think they're all that, but only until the big boss shows up. then you turn into a coward."
"I think that's the smartest thing I've ever heard you say, Toad." Wanda said, surprised, from her position in the front.
"It was not!" Pietro yelped indignantly. "he's never been more wrong."
"Okay then, why don't you prove it?" Pyro challenged, looking around at the other boy. "Try to, I dare you. Prove that you're not the 'yes-man', Pietro."
"But I'm not the 'yes-guy'! I'm not like that at all!" Pietro wailed, shaking his head vigorously. He grabbed the back of Wanda's seat and pulled himself forward, fighting against the seatbelt to move closer to the front. "Why are you always so mean to me!"
"Pietro!" Lance barked, grinding his teeth again. "If you don't stop whining in my ear, I'm going to stop this Jeep , dump you on the side of the road and leave you there! Do you understand me?"
"Yessir!" Pietro shrank into the backseat, crossing his arms tightly across his narrow chest and pouting. Pyro burst out laughing and turned to look at the silver-haired male once again.
"Oh man, you suck!" Pyro laughed, staring at him and then chuckling softly. "You just proved that you're the 'yes-man', moron!" The rest of his companions joined him in a great laugh at Pietro's expense.
"Taunt me all you want!" Pietro bellowed, "But I will have the last laugh. I will be victorious! None of you will be able to defeat me. I shall be the ultimate winner!"
As he was ranting, Pietro once again began to pull himself forward, pushing against his seatbelt.
Rolling her eyes, Wanda reached down by her feet and picked up the window scraper which had been in the Jeep since the previous winter. Growling, she swung the scraper and nailed Pietro right between the eyes with it.
He fell back with a wail, and was soon shreiking about his 'destroyed complexion'. "Pietro!" Wanda snapped. "If you don't shut the hell up, I'll hit you again!"
Lance sighed with relief as silence fell over the back seat."Thanks, Wanda." He smiled. "You just saved my life with that move."
"You shut up too, Lance." Wanda gave him a dirty look. "That whole tirade was your fault. he wouldn't have started if you hadn't gotten us lost in the first place."
"Hey! It's not like I did it on purpose! I'm sure that I turned around and said, 'Yeah, I'm gunna get us lost!', since I always do things like that..." Lance said sarcastically, rolling his eyes as he continued down the road.
"Hey yo, you probably would!" Toad piped up, shaking his head. "You're just mean enough to do it, too!"
Lance growled deep in his throat, glaring at Toad's small frame in the rearview mirror. "You want to take me up on that, grease ball!"
"N- No... That's fine..." Toad said sweetly, then fell silent.
"It doesn't matter anyway," Lance muttered. "Because we are not lost."
"Well, if we're not lost, then would you please enlighten me on what exactly we are?" Wanda demanded.
"We're mutants, Sugarlump." Toad answered, sounding a bit worried. "You knew that, Honeybee."
Wanda massaged her temples. "I meant what are we as in regard to what we are if we're not lost."
"We are strategically misplaced." Lance informed her.
"Ah, I see..." Wanda said, glaring at him. "Interesting. It annoys me that you pretend to be so cool when you've gotten us lost somewhere in the middle of nowhere." She gave him a look of contempt, then looked away out the window.
"Are you okay, Poopsie-woo?" Toad said quietly, lovingly, as he gave the back of Wanda's head puppy-dog eyes. "Oh, don't let mean old Lance hurt your feelings, Bunny-muffins!"
"What's a poopsie-woo?" Pietro asked Freddy, holding a conversation with him over Toad's head. Freddy shrugged, looking no more able to understand Toad's language of pet-names than Pietro himself.
"I dunno, Pietro. don't know what a 'bunny-muffin' is either." Freddy answered.
"I'll tell you what it is." Wanda growled. "It's Toad's ticket to a broken neck."
"But, Snuggle-lumps, I thought you liked your pet-names!"
"Are you stupid?" Wanda demanded, then she sighed. "Oh, who am I kidding. Of course you are!"
"Yes, I'm stupid, Wanda... Stupid in love!" Wanda scooted closer to the door as Toad reached for her from the backseat. He looked like a disturbing fish as he puckered up his lips in a kiss-face!"
"No, you're stupid in general!" She exclaimed, trying to sho him away. "Ugh! Will you stop it, you slime ball?" Pietro chuckled in the backseat.
"I hope he kisses you right on the face with his big, greasy lips!" He cried spitefully, grinning as Wanda shuddered in disgust. "You'd deserve it, you mean, mean girl!"
Wanda glared at Pietro, looking furious. "Shut up, Pietro, and stop supporting his futile efforts to seduce me!" Pyro crossed his arms behind his head, looking quite relaxed amid the chaos.
And chaos it was. Toad was still attempting to kiss Wanda, while Pietro and Wanda were screaming death threats at each other. Lance was grinding his teeth audibly now, and Freddy had set up a loud cry for food.
Pyro sighed. "Lance, mate, look at what you've done to us!"
"I haven't done anything!" Lance bellowed. "This is all Pietro's fault! If he hadn't come up with the brilliant idea to go on a camping trip, we would not be in this mess. And the rest of you are almost as guilty because you all supported him!"
"Hey!" Pietro yelled, forgetting Wanda for the moment. "I'm not the one who decided to go on a joyride down a useless road!"
Suddenly Toad jumped up with a cry. "There's a sign for the town our campground's in! Lance! Go that way, yo!"
Lance did so, and turned to them all with a triumphant smirk. "I told you I wasn't lost."
Wanda sighed heavily, only slightly relieved by the appearance of the sign. "I wonder what else will go wrong before we get there?" She wondered aloud.
"Why, not a thing, Wanda!" Pietro sang with a grin. "It's gunna be smooth sailing from here on in!"
Well, that Chapter was fun. The next will be coming soon.
Shout-outs:
First of all, thanks to everyone who reviewed from Chiharu! I didn't get to say it yet, but domo arigatou gozaimasu! I really appreciate all your great reviews; they're really uplifting!
Stan Lee's Nightmares: Hey! We liked the thought of Pyro singing country music, so stay tuned for Chapter six, where you'll see the fruition of your idea. It won't be really long, but you'll see it there.
RogueFanKC: Klinoa said for me to say that she's read your stuff, and that she really likes it. I'll be sure to follow suite, and review. P.S. I like that chapter too. It was fun to write.
RedWitch: Klinoa didn't mention it, but she really loves your stories, and she was really excited when she had seen your review. It was cute. P.S. I'm gunna get beaten up for that, but I thought that you ought to know.
