Chapter Two Is Up!
Chapter Two - Avon Calling And Morning Routines
Suburbia had been a perfect town yeas ago. Every house was painted a bright color that made it stand out like a rainbow and the husbands all left for work and arrived home at the same time. The entire neighborhood would probably be known as a postcard perfect town because of its neatness. However, the only problems that people had in Suburbia were their shrubs and bushes in their lawns. Many of them had grown to be to large and there was no one that could cut them professionally for miles. This left these shrubs to grow too large and not very pleasing for the owners. Of course, that was one problem that citizens cared less about. An important thing was education for the children, so the local school was absolutely perfect for all kids that lived in Suburbia. There were never any snow days because at that time, it never snowed. This matter made the kids happy, though, because this meant that they would always be getting out of school much earlier. The less school they missed, the better.
It was the crack of dawn in Suburbia on the morning that everything started. The citizens of the neighborhood were starting their morning routines. Kids went off to school, husbands went off to work. A man was mowing his lawn with a silent lawn mower, much to the delight of his neighbors. Birds were tweeting pleasantly in the air while a woman hung her clothes out on the clothes line to dry them. Two neighbors, Marge and Carol, were gossiping about some local person they were annoyed with. A a man was drinking a glass of lemonade in his back yard and a man fixed his roof with a hammer, Peg Boggs started walking down the sidewalk with a smile on her face. Peg was the local Avon representative who went from door to door, desperately trying to sell cosmetics to her neighbors. One advantage of selling Avon products was that all of the neighbors knew Peg and her family. The Boggs family was almost what you would call the heart of the town because Peg was always having picnics, barbeques, and holiday parties at her home.
Carrying an Avon briefcase and wearing an outfit that Kackie Kennedy would wear, she stepped up to her neighbor, Helen's, front door and rang the doorbell. In her lavender outfit and pillbox hat, Peg was the picture perfect woman to set a good example for Suburbia. That was actually the reason why she decided to take on the job of selling cosmetics while her husband played bowling professionally. After a beat or two, Helen opened her door and Peg held up her briefcase.
" Avon Calling!" Peg said in delight. Helen chuckled. She was far from ready to go out anywhere. Curlers were still in her hair and she still hadn't gotten dressed for the day. Wearing a long nightgown, she looked right at Peg with her bored look.
" Weren't you just here?" she asked. Peg shook her head, the smile never leaving her face.
" No, not since last season," Peg replied. She began doing hand motions as if she were auditioning for a role in a motion picture. " Today I am here to show you our new line of softer colors in shadows, blushes, and lipstick; everything you need to accent and highlight your changing look." Helen nodded with a humerous look on her face.
" My changing look?" she said. " Well, that's pretty good!" Laughing, Peg nodded with a chuckle. She still wasn't finished with her required saleswoman phrases.
" Well," Peg continued. " It also goes without saying that I have many of your old favorites; those tried and true products that you've come to depend on year in and year out." Helen rolled her eyes and finally said wht she had to say.
" Oh, come on, Peg, you know I never buy anything from you." Peg nodded, waiting for her to say that the entire time. Her smile changed to a straight face as sheshrugged.
" I know. Buy, Hellen." Hellen shut the door as Peg sighed and took out her list of people she had to go to. The first on her list was Helen. With another sigh, Peg took out her blue ink pen and crossed Hellen's name off. " The same routine every season," she said to herself as she brought back her smile. She made sure that she looked as cheerful as possible for all of her customers. Next on the list was Joyce. Oh, great, Peg thought as she started walking towards Joyce's house.
Joyce's home was only a few more houses down the street. Already, a plumbing vehicle was sitting in her driveway. That would be the excuse to Peg for her not to buy any of her products because she was " busy." Peg had thought so many times of asking her back, " Busy with what, Joyce?" Peg actually already knew that answer. Joyce was one of those women who was always giving herself too much credit. With too much sex-appeal, her accomplishments were getting men to be attracted to her. She tried everything, but it didn't always work because she would try something and go a little too far. The men always decided to run out on her because of how pushy and obnoxious she was. On this particular morning, however, the plumber she had called was more into his work than Joyce herself.
" You didn't have to call me," the plumber said as he pulled his head out of Joyce's dishwasher. Joyce was standing up against the counter with a cigarette in her hand as usual. Tom Jones was playing in the background. It always was. She had been to ten of his concerts and she bought every album of his that came out. This didn't include the expensive autographed poster that hung in her bedroom along with the signed edition of one of his albums. Joyce was a fanatic over Tom Jones.
" Really? Are you sure?" Joyce asked as she watched the plumber very closely. He nodded back at her.
" Yes, I'm sure," he said. " You could have done this yourself. All it is is that your food trap's clogged." He pointed towards the food trap which was taken apart on Joyce's request. She shook her head.
" Oh, no, I don't think that I could possibly do a job like this myself. It's said that you repairmen get lonely all the time. Us housewives do get lonely on occasion, only nobody knows because they still haven't made a commericial on the subject." She took another puff from her cigarette as the plumber nodded, a puzzled look on his face.
" Right," he said. " Anyway, all you have to do is take this tube, here and put it in this hole. Just make sure that you don't force it in, though, because it does fit in there by itself. Then, all you have to do is screw this back on and you should have it all unclogged and ready to go." Joyce laughed in a sexy way just to turn him on, but it didn't seem to be working on this particular morning. Joyce was about to say something else when the doorbell suddenly rang. Annoyed, she went over to the kitchen window to see who it was. Of course, she had to put her leg out while she did this. The plumber wasn't paying attention, though.
" Oh, who could that be?" she said as she turned and headed for the front door. " Don't leave, though, sweetheart," Joyce said to the plumber. " This is all just so fascinating and I wouldn't want to miss one moment of it!" The plumber chuckled as Joyce left to answer the door. Peg was standing on her front porch with that neverending smile on her face.
" Good morning, Joyce. Avon calling!" Joyce chuckled in her attitude tone.
" Why, Peg," she said as she put out her cigarette. " You poor dear, you must have gone blind. Don't you see that there is a vehicle in my driveway?" Peg looked over and saw the plumber's truck. She had known the whole time that this would be the excuse to blow her off.
" Well, yes," Peg said with hesitation. " But, I just wanted to show you some of my brand new products that -"
Joyce cut her off very rudely. " Then, I suppose you don't know that that means I'm busy," she said as she slammed the door right in Peg's face. That was the way that it always went. Joyce came up with any excuse just so she didn't have to listen to Peg talking. Peg was perfectly nice about it, too, though. She never pushed anyone to buy anything, she just let her customers say their opinions. Sighing, Peg took out her list of customers and crossed out Joyce's name.
After nearly an hour of traveling around the neighborhood, Peg had only found two people interested in buying anything. However, they said they would think about it and call her back when they had decided. This made Peg a little more satisfied than usual since they were at least being nice about it and not slamming the door in her face. Eventually, she had come to a teenaged girl's home. She was home alone and talking on the phone with her boyfriend. The girl was happy enough to take the time off to try out some of Peg's samples in nail polish and lipstick. Eventually, the girl agreed to buy the new sets that were being offered.
" Okay," Peg said. " I think that the lavender looks best on you for the nail polish. The shadows and blushes look really good, too. I think that they really make you stand out in the crowd, you know? I bet your boyfriend will be happy to see your new look!" The girl nodded as she continued painting her toe nails with lavender nail polish.
" Yeah, he likes me to change here and there," the girl said.
Peg chuckled and said, " Okay, now I think we should decide on lipsticks. Just to refresh your memory, there was the Winsome Wahini which looked great on you or the Bahenie Bliss. Which of those did you like the best?"
" Well, I like them both." Peg smiled greatly and started writing down something on her order list.
" Well, great!" she said, cheerfully. Suddenly, the girl looked up as she finished painting her nails.
" You don't think I actually have any money, do you?" she asked Peg. Peg's smile turned to a straight face as she sighed. This just wasn't working out for her.
Peg left the girl's house without selling a thing. There was only one more person listed on her paper and that was Esmeralda. She was known as a religious fanatic who always stayed at home and never came to the parties that Peg held at her home. Peg thought for a second and finally decided to go up to Esmeralda's house for the heck of it. As usual, she was playing her huge organ that dominated the living room. Holy candles were lined up against the nearby windowsill and religious paintings and crosses were hung on the walls, making the house look like a chapel. Peg took one lookin the front window and shook her head, realizing that Esmeralda was someone who would never buy products from her.
Peg returned to her car which was parked not too far from Esmeralda's house. The organ's tune drifted off across the street while two children rode by on their bikes, singing, " Ding Dong, The Avon Lady!" Peg frowned as she got in her car and slammed the door.
" This is not my day!" Crossing out the girl and Esmeralda's names on her list, Peg crossed her arms in disappointment as she sat in her car. Sighing, she noticed that her rear view mirror wasn't in the right place. She reached her hand out the window and turned it, revealing the huge castle on top of the incredibly tall hill behind Suburbia. That was the place where no one ever went and Peg thought it might be worth a try going up there to see if someone would be interested in buying something from her. Turning the key in the ignition, the car's engine started.
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