How Is the Weather?
(March 2019)
9-Which Way the Wind Blows
"It's like I've been away for weeks," Wendy told Ford, Dipper, and Mabel.
Ford handed her a cup of tea. They all sat in the living room of the house Ford and Stan had bought for them to live in while attending school. Dipper had made Mabel promise not to bombard Wendy with questions, and though she was squirming with impatience, so far she had kept her promise.
"Thanks," Wendy said.
Ford leaned back in the armchair. "I know precisely how disorienting a visit to the Oracle can be," he said in a comforting tone. "After suffering a terrifying attack in Dimension 2-d—that is also known as Flatland, I believe—I once showed up in her Dimension 52 wounded and unconscious."
Seeing that Mabel was about to burst, Dipper said, "I read about that in your Journal 3. You were the only three-dimensional person in a two-dimensional universe, right?"
"Correct, Mason," Ford said. "And the inhabitants must have perceived me as something monstrous. I suffered many cuts and a loss of blood."
"How did you even get to her?" Mabel asked. "If you were hurt?"
With a smile, Ford replied, "Some mysteries I cannot solve. I suspect that, since she knew about my deadly conflict with Cipher, Jheselbraum had been observing me and chose to rescue me. Anyway, I spent what seemed like months with her caring for me. She healed my wounds, even implanted a safety device so no one could invade my mind, and then took more time to educate me. Looking back, I realize that I spent the equivalent of a year or more in the Oracle's realm. Yet when she sent me back—to carry on the war with Cipher, she said—I instantly slipped into a set of dimensions parallel to Earth. And as far as I can now account for my time away—not even twenty-four hours passed while I was in Dimension 52."
"Yeah," Wendy said, finishing her tea. "And guys, it's really strange to return here and realize that to you, I barely left at all."
Ford said, "I call that the Rip Non Winkle Effect—the sensation that a long experience in a dimension with a radically different time-flow occurred in seconds rather than a long time."
"What did you do?" Mabel asked. "Did you go to the beach? Does the Oracle have any pets? Does she have a boyfriend?"
Wendy said, "I don't mind telling you, but—for some of the stuff that went on, I don't think we have any words." She set the cup on the side table and took Dipper's hand. I think I can send it to you mentally. It's not private. But it's weird. Want me to try?
Aloud, Dipper said, "Guys, Wendy and I are going to exchange some information. Give us a few seconds." Then he thought —Go ahead, Wen.
It came through in a flash. But Wendy was right—the whole experience was incredibly complex. And for some of it—well, no one had yet coined words to describe it.
The Oracle had first had Wendy rest. "I fell asleep, and it felt like a short nap, but I woke up feeling just incredible. Like I could take on the world."
She looked at Ford, who nodded. "Yes, I called that the Confidence Boost. In Dimension 52, one feels so safe, so peaceful. I know that feeling, too."
"I don't remember eating or drinking," Wendy said. "I guess I must have, though. Except just before I came back, the Oracle gave me a glass of this strange stuff that looked like, uh, the night sky. And then everything went white, and the next thing I knew, I was stepping out of the dimension bubble."
"Ah," Ford said. "What you drank was Cosmic Sand. It is neither a solid, liquid, or glass, but a form of plasma brimming with cosmic energies."
"It's the kind that one out of every one Time Babies drinks," Mabel said helpfully.
Dipper suggested, "That's what allowed you to adjust from the Oracle's dimension to normal ones."
"You're fortunate," Ford said, "that the Oracle was able to send the Portal to our dimension. She wasn't sure where I'd originated, and at that time I had made no catalogue of alternate dimensions. I would up briefly in a world full of dinosaurs."
"That must have been exciting!" Mabel said.
"No," Ford replied. "They'd never gone extinct, and they'd evolved into a species of nothing but bureaucrats. You wouldn't believe the numbers of gigantic forms I had to sign and have stamped in triplicate before I could move on. But we digress. What of your weather abilities, Wendy?"
"Basically," Wendy said, "Aunt Sallie was right. We Corduroys have some kind of extra gene or something that latches onto some kind of weirdness and vibrates with it. Different things—Aunt Sallie's Second Sight is one. Understanding the secret languages of birds is another. Some get a healing touch."
Mabel was bouncing, but Dipper said, "Nobody gets to shoot webs and swing from buildings, or the ability to fly, or an invisible airplane."
"Actually," Ford said, "such things are possible in the Graphic Novel Dimension. But not in our reality."
"No," Wendy said. "Me, I can influence the weather, but the Oracle showed me there are rules."
"Aw," Mabel said.
Ignoring that, Wendy said, "I have to maintain a balance. I have to try not to hurt anyone or any living being. And most of all, I have to—this is so hard to put into words—look, have you heard the term 'Music of the Spheres?'"
"Is that a boy band?" Mabel asked.
Ford answered: "No, Mabel, it's a philosophical term. It is the concept that an entire dimension functions with a harmony among all its elements. A slight disharmony causes bad effects. A major one my disrupt the functioning of that dimension."
"Like Bill Cipher and Weirdmageddon," Dipper added.
"He was a major sour note," agreed Mabel.
Wendy took a deep breath. "Well, that's the thing. The Oracle gave me insight, I guess? A basic understanding of how weather and weather patterns are part of the harmony in our world. I just had a test of how well I can understand it. Right now there's an upper-atmosphere disturbance that's due to loop up, not here, but east of California and Oregon and Nevada into what meteorologists are calling a bomb. Not a real explosion, but a sudden and real severe snowstorm."
"How's that bad?" Mabel asked. "Kids in Idaho get a snow day?"
"It's gonna be way more serious," Wendy said. "Highway accidents. Even people freezing to death, plane crashes. Way bad. Except I just made a little diversion in the jet stream, leveled it out a little so it doesn't crook down from the Arctic and then bend sharply back north. The storm will still break, but if I did right, I've tamed it just a little bit."
Dipper said, "I got what Wendy sent me—and we can information-dump like pros now. She taught me how to drive in about five seconds. This was way more complex." He smiled at Wendy. "And I don't understand all of it, either. But the Oracle is going to guide her—subtly, we won't even know, except Wendy will have a sure instinct about when not to affect the weather and when she ought to."
"And that's gonna be less than one per cent of the time," Wendy said. "So—no weather for our convenience, Mabes. No unscheduled snow days, no break in the rain for a sunny picnic, no cooling off or warming up even one degree, unless it's tied to some really big and serious problem."
Dipper said, "You're a little scared, aren't you?"
"Big responsibility," Wendy said. "And I can't afford to make even one mistake. So, yeah—little scared."
Ford stood. "The Oracle offered to send me back to Gravity Falls, but as long as I'm here, I'll take a side trip down to Sacramento for a drop-in at the Agency. If someone will drive me to the local airport, I've arranged for transportation."
"Me," Mabel said. "I'll do it."
They left. Wendy stretched out on the bed and Dipper lay beside her. "It's going to be OK," he told her. "At least now you understand what you have and how it works."
"Sort of how it works," Wendy said. "You'll have to help me, Dipper. There'll be times when I'm not sure. So I'll bond with you and you'll have to help me with the tough decisions when I don't know if I should do anything or not."
He kissed her. "You know I'll help in any way I can. But you have to trust your instincts, too—even if I'm not sure myself."
"I hope I can do that," she said. "This—I didn't ask for it. I didn't even want it."
"But you have it now," Dipper said. "And you'll handle it the best way anybody can. I know that."
"How do you know?" she asked, smiling.
"Because," he said simply, "you're a Corduroy."
The End . . . maybe
