DISCLAIMER: Right, so yeah, we still don't own anything.
Author's Note:
Chiharu: Yaho, faithful readers! Sorry for taking so long to update, everyone! Hehehe…Ahem. Yeah, so we're not dead or anything, anyway. Alright, well, there's not too much important to say, so... Have this Christmas present of a Chapter Seven… I mean, Chapter Six (Haha! Just joking, Klinoa, just joking! winces and covers head) from ERoD! Enjoy!
Klinoa: Right, as Chi has already stated, we are not dead. Just slightly comatose for whatever reason. Also, there was a near disaster with chapter seven, where it went missing and we had to re-write it. Not cool. Anyway, hope you guys like this cahpter.
Chapter Six
And This Goes Where Again?
The sun had risen high, peaked in the sky, and had now begun to sink, though it was nowhere near sunset. The sun was warm on Lance's skin as the mutant turned the Jeep around a corner, driving them down the paved rod that led to the campsite, which lay before them in plain sight.
Trees rose on either side of the road, but thinned as they neared the campsite, Whispering Pines. At the front of the campsite was a small parking lot, connected to a canteen and registration building, and next to that building was a playground. To the left of the parking lot was a mini put course, and across the road from that and next to the registration building was a playground. Leading away from the parking lot, out behind the canteen and over a hill which rose in the distance, was a thin boardwalk obviously leading to a beach.
To the same side of the parking lot as the mini put course and playground were the tent and RV lots. They stretched on for quite a bit, and the streets and paths between lots were dotted with people wandering around; walking dogs, chatting with their neighbors, and many looking as though they were headed from the beach.
Even to Lance, it was a beautiful place. There were trees everywhere, he could hear the sound of birds singing and, in the distance, he could see the glitter of water under the sun. There was only one thing that made him unable to fully appreciate the serenity before him.
"Save a horse, ride a cowboeeeeeeeee!"
Pyro's singing voice.
The insane Australian pyromaniac was currently belting out the song on the radio at eardrum-shattering levels. He had a voice that sounded like an elephant being stabbed to death with a rusty spoon. It was extremely painful.
"Make him stop, make him stop! Stop! Stop! STOP!" Pietro wailed from the backseat. "My poor ears can't take any more of this! They don't deserve it, either! Make him stop!"
"Gladly!" Lance snapped. He drove the Jeep in next to the registration office entrance and parked, shutting it off completely.
With the exception of Pyro, the entire group gave a collective, contented sigh as silence filled the air. "You could've at least waited 'til the end of the song, Lance, mate." He grumbled. "It's not like it would've killed you."
"Maybe not," Lance admitted, as he stepped out of the Jeep and started toward the office to book their lot. "But it might have killed you."
"What did he mean by that?" Pyro asked Wanda.
"You are an idiot." Wanda answered, shaking her head.
"Ugh! Are we ready to find a lot yet?" Pietro whined, rubbing his stomach. "I want to hurry and set up the tents so that I can get something to eat! All I've eaten all day is a popsicle, okay!"
"Hey, yo, you're not the only one who's hungry!" Toad complained beside him, sticking out his bottom lip. "None of us have had anything to eat since last night, so quit complaining like you're the only one starving!"
"You stop complaining!" Pietro cried, slapping the frog boy in the shoulder. As the two of them began to sissy-fight in the back seat, Lance returned to the Jeep.
"Okay, here's the deal." He said as he climbed into the driver's seat and showed them a map of the campground. "The lots that are circled are the lots that we can pick from. Once we drive through the campsite and decide, we come back here, pay for the lot, and then we go and set up our tent. Understand?"
"Yes, Sir!" Pietro said, snapping off a mock salute. "Let's move out!"
"There are a fair amount of available lots." Wanda said, looking at the map. "Do we know what kind of site we want?"
"One that's near the beach." Pietro said.
"No! One near the bathroom" Toad shouted.
"It has to be as far away from the canteens as possible." Freddy chimed in.
"And it can't be near the beach." Pyro said. "The ones near the beach have the most sand, and the least flammable materials."
"But I just said that I wanted to be near the beach!" Pietro protested.
"Too bad!" Pyro shouted. "I need trees!"
"And I need space!" Wanda snapped. "We've got three tents, remember? One for me, one for Freddy and Toad, and one for the rest of you. We need a large one."
"Hey, Wanda! Why is it that you get a tent all by yourself, but I have to sleep with a fire-bug and- And-And Lance, who is just plain evil?" Pietro exploded as though he would die from the injustice. "It's just not fair, I'm telling you!"
"Pietro…" Wanda said slowly, giving him an icy glare. "In case you haven't noticed in the past seventeen years, I am a girl. Girls and guys should not have to sleep in the same tent, especially since you guys are dumb, dirty, corn chip-smelling dipwads who can't even take care of keeping clean and showered on a regular basis."
"HEY!" Pietro countered, pointing vigorously at his head as though she should be able to know his life story just by looking at his slicked back hair. "Me, a dirtbag! HA! I'm not gross and smelly like these other guys! And corn chips? Ha, again! I'll happen to have you know that I smell like fig-melon, not corn chips!"
"Fig-melon?" Pyro questioned, raising an eyebrow as he turned around to give Pietro a weird look. "Pietro, mate, please don't tell me that you just admitted to smelling like fig-melon!"
"Why?" Pietro asked, blinking at Pyro. "Is there something wrong with fig-melon?"
Pyro was about to speak, but Wanda placed her hand firmly over his mouth before he could.
"Don't even go there." She warned.
Nodding knowingly, Pietro sat back as Lance started the Jeep and they headed off to look for a suitable lot.
As they drove along, the Jeep became the carriage for a screaming match. No one wanted the same thing, and everyone's idea of a 'dream lot' contradicted everyone else's. And, being the Brotherhood of Mutants, there was no way possible for them to attend to the problem in a peaceful manner.
"But I want to be near the BEACH!" Pietro howled as hey moved past more wooded lots. It was obvious that, in order to avoid obtaining serious damage to their eardrums, they would need to fin a lot at least near the beach.
However, an angry Australian made it very difficult to do that. "No, mate! God damn it, I told you; I am not sleeping near the beach! There is too much sand and nowhere near enough wood." He bellowed furiously. "And if I can't light things on fire, I will go insane!"
"Fine, yo." Toad said, crossing his arms and trying to look defiant. "But I need a place that's close to a toilet, okay? Otherwise, I'll be using our lot as my personal bathroom in the case of any emergencies!"
"Oh, no you won't be pissing in our lot!" Wanda snarled warningly, giving him a dirty look. "If you dare urinate anywhere near my bed, I swear…"
"Oh! Don't start swearing, cuddlekins!" Toad whimpered as though she had broken his heart. "It's bad for you to do that, because you'll end up all stressed and unhealthy and-"
"I don't care, I don't care, I don't care!" Lance sang loudly, drowning them out. "Wanda, you pick the lot! We need something near the bathroom, away from the canteen, big enough for all three tents and near the beach. Sorry, Pyro, but not only can I not deal with Pietro's cry baby whining, but I don't want you to cause any major forest fires during our stay, thank you. I'll buy you kindling, instead."
"WHAT!" Everyone minus Pyro shouted.
"You heard me!" Lance snapped. "It's the only way to keep both him and Pietro happy."
"True enough." Freddy said with a sigh.
"Alright, now that that's settled, we'll head toward the beach and see what we can find." Lance snorted.
They did just that, and the entire Jeepload of teens stared in shock at what they found there.
"I don't believe it." Lance said, almost tearfully, as he gazed at the lot before them. The lot was everything he had been looking for. "It's perfect for us! Something has finally gone right on this horrible trip!"
"It's lot number forty-seven." Wanda said, looking at the map. "Let's hurry up and get back to the office before someone else comes and takes it from us."
"Oh, no!" Lance shouted, taking a sharp U-turn to go back. "No one is taking this lot from us. I won't let it happen!
"Then stop for a second! Freddy, quick! Hop out and guard lot forty-seven for us until we get back!" Wanda ordered. Freddy hopped out and made a beeline for the lot, not particularly happy about his situation, but dreading more the repercussions of denying Wanda. He anchored himself in the center and looked as menacing as possible.
Satisfied with their strange lot ornament, the rest of the Brotherhood were soon tearing away in the Jeep toward the registration office.
Lance had barely parked the car before he was out over the door and tearing toward the office. He slammed his money down on the counter, startling the blonde teenager behind the cash register.
"C-Can I help you?" She asked, wide-eyed.
"Yes!" Lance cried, pushing the money toward her. "And the faster the better! Could I please rent out lot forty-seven for the next five nights!"
"Oh, lot forty-seven? That's a nice lot, my dad and I used to rent that one… Ummm…" She handed him his change, his receipt, and a large card to show that he had paid for the lot. "That was seventy-one dollars and thirty-five cents. Have a good time at Whispering Pines!"
"I'll try!" Lance said, hurrying out the door. He ran straight to the Jeep, waving the card for effect. "We got it!"
"Sweet!" Shouted Pietro. "Let's get down there and set up our tents!"
Not long after, the Brotherhood had made it to their lot and were making a serious attempt at setting up the three tents. Wanda, not surprisingly, had managed to set up her own tent in a matter of minutes, without any outside assistance. Climbing through the opening of her tent and pulling her backpack inside, she zipped the tent closed behind her.
Freddy and Toad had a bit more trouble with their tent. Unable to find the instructions, they had spent at least a half-hour wandering around their pathetic, deflated canvass mound of a tent, trying to figure out how to erect it.
Eventually, after a lot of prodding, shouting and frustration, they finally had managed to pitch their tent. It was a bit lopsided, and they were completely unsure as to how they were supposed to use their tent's rain cover, but it was up, at least.
The other three, however, hadn't been so lucky. As Wanda extracted herself from her tent, she was appalled by the state of theirs. It was a bunch of crooked poles, flimsy, tangled canvass and three very stunned and frustrated, one of which was now a part of the tangled mass on the ground.
"I don't get it!" Pietro wailed from where he lay caught in the tangle on the ground. "I looked at all the picture of the tent, and then I used my speed to put it up quickly. However, instead of staying up properly, it collapsed on top of me. It's just not fair!"
Lance snorted from the lawn chair that he had lodged himself into. Their first attempt had brought the tent down on Pyro, who had then attempted to burn his way out. At that point, Lance had officially given up on the tent, and had sat down to watch the show.
Pyro tilted his head at the tent. "Well, mate, obviously we're doing something back-asswards. He announced, stating something which was already obvious to everyone else. "Let's try untangling you and start from square one…"
He leaned over the other boy and, after a few moments of intense struggling, the tent released its captive. Pietro scrambled away from the tent. Climbing to his feet, he fixed his twisted pant legs, giving the mass of twisted camping equipment a dirty look.
"This is extremely undignified, just so you guys know." He growled, putting his hands on his hips and glaring Pyro in the face. "If you guys are always doing stuff like this, then it's no big surprise that any of you have lady troubles!"
"Hey! Watch it, Speedy!" Pyro retorted, sticking his finger in Pietro's face. "I may be aggressive, I may be a pyromaniac, and I may be a bit eccentric, but I've never had any troubles with the Sheilas!"
"Get your stupid finger out of my face!" Pietro exclaimed, slapping the Aussie's hand away. Pyro, initially startled, snarled and tackled the other boy.
"They're at it again, yo!" Toad shouted. This was the third fight that the two boys had been in since the group had arrived at the lot.
"That's it! I'm not taking this any longer!" Wanda snarled. "I'm turning the hose on the two o them."
Grinding her teeth audibly, she marched over their lot's water spout, attached its hose, and sprayed the two combatants.
"Argh!" Screeched Pietro. "My hair! You're going to ruin my hair!"
"Aieeeeeeee!" Shrieked Pyro. "I'm wet! I hate being wet! I hate when anything is wet! Wet things don't burn!"
"Well then shut up and put your stupid tent together, bozos!" Wanda barked, turning off the hose and shaking it at them and spattering them with the left over water. "NOW!"
"Eep! Okay, okay! Just quit it with the hose, you crazy b…Bohemian!" Pietro gave Wanda a sheepish grin, and she returned it with a fiery glare. He had barely managed to contain the word that he had meant to say, and he didn't want to imagine what horror would have become him had he failed to.
He shuddered at the thought, and went about straightening the poles as Pyro shed his wet shirt, hanging it from a tree branch.
"Ewww… I hate water! It's such a nasty thing…"
"It's also necessary for your survival, you idiot." Wanda said, rolling her eyes.
"That is a blatant lie!" Pyro snapped. "That's just what the government wants us to believe!"
"Okay then." Wanda raised an eyebrow at him before disappearing back into her tent.
She reappeared quickly enough, however. The boys had made three more unsuccessful attempts at setting up their tent. When the last one resulted in Pyro almost getting knocked unconscious by a stray tent pole, Wanda came out screaming.
"I've had enough! Lance," She bellowed, rounding on the boy in question. "Help them with that stupid tent or I'll KILL YOU!"
"Okay, okay! You idiots, get the hell out of my way!" Lance exploded, knocking the lawn chair over as he flew to his feet. Pushing both Pyro and Pietro out of the way, he went to work on the tent.
Three hours later, the sun had set completely, and they had finally managed to at least half-pitch their tent. With the tent sort-of-firmly in place, the boys stood back and examined their creation. The cover was limp and had been attached to the tent holes by several hair elastics.
The tent itself was even more lopsided than the other boys', and looked a bit strange with a huge patch made out of duct tape on the side to cover the hole that Pyro had melted in it when it had collapsed on him.
Lance looked at it with a begrudging sigh as he rubbed his temples. It wasn't correct, and it was far from beautiful, but it was a place to sleep, which was exactly what Lance wanted to do.
Putting their three small, army-surplus air-mattresses into the tent, Lance gave them the deadliest look his tired muscles could muster. "Now, I'm going to tell you all this; I am going to sleep." He snarled to the boys alone, since Wanda had already gone to bed. "I don't know how, but it's already ten-thirty. If you morons want to stay up, you can, but I swear, if you keep me awake, you'll be sorry! You hear me?"
The boys answered with vigorous nods, staying completely silent as Lance snatched up his sleeping bag and disappeared into the tent. Pietro looked at the others with an expression which was a mixture of terror and mental agony.
"I think we should have taken a bus up here. That way we could have left Lance at home."
Realtfarraige: Guys suspect things like that because, at least when it comes to women, they are stupid. As for ending up on the news, let's just say that anything is possible.
RougefanKC: We'll split the cookie, chances are Chi will steal it anyway, seeing as Klin is not exactly junk food's biggest fan. As for our camping trips, you ain'tseen nothin' yet. It's going to get way worse from here. Yeah, let's just say that some of our exploits are akin to those of one St. John Allerdyce, and leave it at that.
Lance Avalanche Alvers: Thanks for the review!
Crystaline-Crimson: It's our firm belief that Evo Pietro may in fact be quite gay, there were a fair amount of hints at it anyway, either that or he's the ultimate metrosexual like a friend of ours. Anyway, thanks for the review.
karai: Oh Lance hasn't even begun to go nuts. It's going to get worse from here.
Chitsuki Masuki: The pet names are going to get worse hun, just you wait and see.
Klinoa: Right, so I'd just like to say Merry Christmas to all of our lovely reviewers. Hopefully we'll write faster in the New Year.
Chiharu: Hai, Klin-chan did just say the, "This is going to get worse." line in almost every single review. Go, Klin! Okay, anyhow... Sayounara, shoujo to shounen! Kurisumasu omedetou! throws holly and mistletoe at you Hehehehehehe!
