Author's Notes:

Klin here. Okay yeah, so when I said that hopefully we'd be able to write faster in the New Year I seem to have jinxed us. However, this story has not been given up on. It's still going strong. This is chapter 7 here, and, despite the fact that it's been re-written three times already, due to parts of it getting lost, chapter 8 is well under way.

Also, the scarecrow village, as well as scarecrows, mentioned here really do exist. We visit it every time that we go camping.

DISCLAIMER: We own nothing here.


Chapter 7

Calling Card Only

Early the next morning Lance found himself crawling over his snoring tent-mates in an attempt to get outside and find himself a place to shower. Stumbling outside, he blinked at the sudden harsh glare of the sun.

"You're up early." A voice commented.

Lance turned and saw Wanda sitting at their lot's picnic table. "What're you doing there?" He asked.

"Nothing." She replied with a shrug. "I just woke up early. What're you doing up?"

"I'm getting a shower." He said a little defensively.

She smirked slightly. "Is that so? Are you sure that you're not just looking for a way to call Kitty?"

"What?" He asked, shocked because the thought of calling Kitty had quite honestly not even crossed his mind. "I am not!"

"Really?" Wanda sounded surprised. "You're not very bright are you?"

"And what's that supposed to mean?" He demanded.

"It means, you idiot, that you are an insensitive jerk! Huh, I bet you didn't even tell her that you were going somewhere."

Lance blinked. That was true. He hadn't told Kitty that they were leaving.

Still, he thought, that shouldn't mean much, right? Kitty wouldn't be angry, would she? Lance quickly decided to head off to the showers. He didn't want Wanda to worry him anymore.

However, once he reached the showers, the idea still hadn't gone away. Truthfully, it had ballooned into a giant, looming monstrosity that was hovering ominously over him.

Would Kitty be angry with him? After all, he hadn't called before leaving, and, from he had leaned so far in life, women were very sensitive,. What if, when she found out that he'd gone away without warning her, he hurt her feelings?

Or, worse yet, what if something bad had happened while he was away? What if Kitty was distraught, and was sitting in her room, and crying, all alone...And then she realized that, since he was gone, she only had one person to turn to...Colossus!

Oh sure, the big metal guy seemed nice, but Lance knew that he was interested in Kitty. He just knew it!

Lance shook his head vigorously to clear it and leapt form the shower, drying off and starting to pull on his clothes. Kitty shouldn't have to do any crying on anyone else's shoulder. That's what his shoulder was for! He had to get a hold of her, before something terrible happened. On that thought, Lance raced back to the lot.

Thinking quickly, he flung his dirty clothes inside the tent then dashed to the area that all the food was currently located at. If he cooked breakfast, then he could use it as an excuse to get them all into town quickly. He could convince them to go sight-seeing.

He couldn't use the phones from the camp because they were calling card only.

That's right. Calling. Card. Only! He'd noticed a sign yesterday saying this. At the time it hadn't bothered him, but now it was the most terrible saying in the entire English language.

He needed to get into town, but he couldn't let the others know why he wanted to go. Which meant that he would have to take them with him, find something for them to do, and then take off and find a phone while they were busy.

If only he had just been a sensitive boyfriend from the start, he wouldn't be going through the internal hell that he was going through right now. He pulled out the Coleman stove and the food that he would need for breakfast. He hurried and whipped up the first of several breakfasts, then dropped it in front of Wanda and moved on to more food.

The girl blinked, but shrugged philosophically and began to eat. It was very rare that she didn't have to cook for herself, and she was not going to pass up the chance.

Meanwhile, Lance had taken a pot and ladle, and was currently banging them together outside of his tent. "Come on guys! Up and at em! Let's go! We're going into town! Now get out here, have some breakfast, and get ready to go!"

After a moment, Pietro crawled out of the tent, and glared at Lance. "What is the matter with you, you freak! I was sleeping!"

"I know that, Pietro." Lance said. "However, I want to get an early start today. So get up!"

"Fine!" Grumbling, Pietro lurched over to the picnic table and looked at the food placed upon it. "Why are you making breakfast?" He asked suspiciously. "You never cook for us. You never do anything nice for us. What're you up to? What's your game? What's your angle? Why does Pyro have underwear on his head?"

Raising an eyebrow at this last question, Lance turned to look in the same direction as Pietro. Sure enough, Pyro was slowly emerging from their tent, with Lance's boxers perched on top of his head.

"What mate?" Pyro asked, covering a wide yawn with his hand as he stepped out of the tent. He straightened up and raised his arms above his head in a stretch. Pietro stifled a laugh at how ridiculous and awkward his teammate looked. "What did you say?"

"I said, Pyro, that you have a pair of boxers, probably Lance's since he's dressed, on your head." Pietro answered. Pyro looked for a moment as though he hadn't yet processed what the speed-demon had said to him. Then it hit home.

"ARRGH! BLECH!" Pyro exploded, scrambling and pulling the boxers from his head as though they were the most disgusting things on the planet. He then drew fire from the stove, lit the underwear on fire, and stomped them into the ground.

"Urg! That's disgusting, mate!" He hollered, messing up his hair as if trying to free dirt from it. "Your boys were in there! Your BOYS!"

"EWEWEWEW! This is disgusting!" Screaming, he proceeded to run in circles until an annoyed Wanda hexed him into a tree.

"Thanks, Sheila." He muttered. "I needed that."

"Anytime." She replied.

"Hey, yo. Why're we goin' in town, Lance?" Todd asked as he hopped out of his tent, with Freddy lumbering along behind him.

"We are going sight-seeing." Lance said. "Now hurry up and eat so that we can get going."

Grumbling, everyone did as they were told.

An hour later, the Brotherhood had been loaded into Lance's jeep and were on their way toward town. Lance was currently thinking about all the things that might be happening to Kitty, and the others were chattering merrily amongst themselves.

"...so after that it was no contest. She just kind of...fell against me. I had totally snagged her, y'know what I mean." Pietro grinned triumphantly. "It's so easy to get the ladies, if you follow my ten tips for getting said ladies."

"Oh, dear Lord..." Wanda muttered under her breath. Pietro then went on to explain his tips from 'smell good at all times and look good even more frequently' to 'always look like your listening...even when you're not'.

"Wow! Goes that stuff actually work, yo?" When Pietro nodded, Todd's face lit up. "Hey, yo! You have to teach me! I can learn! I can learn!"

"Maybe when we return home, young padawan." Pietro answered, looking quite pleased with himself. "This Jedi master has much to teach you, but it will have to wait. Right now, he's on vacation."

"I am in hell." Wanda muttered, rubbing her temples.

"And I am in heaven!" Pyro suddenly screamed. "LANCE! Go there! Pull over there!" The Aussie was frantically pointing as a field in front of them. It had a sign announcing 'Joe's Scarecrow Village'. The field held dozens of scarecrows dressed up as various people. "I want to go! I love scarecrows!"

Lance thought quickly. This was the opportunity that he'd been waiting for, but he had to be careful. He did not want the place that he intended to abandon his team in to go up in flames.

"Pyro," he said. "I really don't want to go. However, as long as the others keep you under control, I will drop all of you off and come back for you later."

There, not only would the others be kept busy, but now he would have an excuse to go off on his own.

"You mean you're actually going to let us go off on our own?" Pietro asked with skepticism. "What is wrong with you today? First, you make us breakfast. Now, you're going to let us do what we want to do without an argument! Who are you and what have you done with Lance!"

"Shut up and get out before I change my mind!" Lance snarled, pointing at the Scarecrow Village. The others scrambled out of the vehicle and took off. Lance held off on smiling until he had pulled out of the parking lot. Now he could search for a phone in peace.

The group spread out, and quickly amused themselves.

Pietro was currently having a discussion with two scarecrows who had the faces of George Bush and Bill Clinton.

"You guys really need to give us mutants a hand you know? We really could use some help."

Freddy was reading the card on a scarecrow with the face of Elvis. Apparently, he was the only original scarecrow left. All the others had been burned in a fire that had been set by teenagers in 1986. "That's so sad." He muttered. "How could people hurt innocent scarecrows?'

Wanda turned to look at Pyro. "Don't even think about it, you ass."

Pyro blinked. "I DIDN'T set the fire Sheila. Why're you getting angry with me?"

"You'd set fire to it if you had a chance!"

"No, I wouldn't! Stop being mean to me!"

"NO!"

Meanwhile, Todd was standing near a scarecrow named Brian. "I know just how you feel, yo." Brian was seated on a toilet formed from a bucket, and was saying what a relief it was.

"Hey you guys!" Freddy said suddenly. "Why don't some of you stand at the photo places, and I'll take your pictures with my camera."

Pietro declined, deciding instead to go and talk to a group of scarecrows dressed up as a wedding party. However, Wanda, Todd, and Pyro all went over.

"Ohh, ooh, I want the one in the fisherman garb!" Pyro exclaimed, jumping up and sticking his face under the fisherman's hat. "Argh, matie! Haha! Sexy, huh mates?"

"It's beautiful, Pyro." Wanda said sarcastically, rolling her eyes. Todd jumped up onto one of the smaller blocks, behind an antlered photo-skeleton.

"Come on, Wan Wan!" Todd sang, waving to her. " Hop up behind that other one, beautiful! We'll look just like a happy family!" Wanda gave Todd a dirty look.

"You wouldn't catch me dead behind one of those things." She snarled, hands on her hips. "And besides, who ever said that I want to have a happy family with you two?"

"You know you love us, Sheila." Pyro responded, cheerfully, glancing around his scarecrow and grinning. "C'mon, join the fun! Do you really want to have us bugging you about it for the next twenty minutes?"

Wanda, at that thought, suddenly looked as though her resolve was weakening. Todd took advantage of it and threw in, "And anyway, once you do it, you never have to do it again. We won't bug you anymore."

Sighing, Wanda strode over to the indicated figure and stuffed her head in the slot. "Hurry up and take the damn picture!" She growled.

Freddy happily obliged, and as soon as he was done, the others headed off to find other things to amuse themselves with.

Todd sat down on a little kids bike and had Freddy take a picture of it. Wanda was glancing at a pair of identical scarecrows. Their names were Barry and Brian. Apparently, they were twins, who step danced.

"Dear God. I hope Pietro doesn't see these two." She muttered. "The last thing I need is him getting the bright idea that we could bond over dancing lessons."

Thinking of her brother, she looked around and saw that he, along with the other boys, had joined a circle of scarecrows who were playing a frozen game of ring-a-round-the-rosie. Freddy, Todd, and Pyro, had joined the chain of scarecrows, and her twin was dancing in the center and hooting.

Rolling her eyes, Wanda walked over and raised her eyebrows at them. "What the ell are you guys doing?" She asked. "You look like idiots."

"Oh, c'mon, Wanda! We do not!" Freddy laughed from where he stood, holing hands with Pyro and Todd. "We're just having fun. Why don't you have fun too?"

"Yeah!" Todd exclaimed, waving her over with his free hand. "You can hold my hand and everything!" Wanda raised her eyebrows even higher at the suggestion, looked at Todd's hand, and shuddered.

"I think I'll pass, thanks." She picked Freddy's camera up off the ground and waved it. "Anyway, how about I take pictures of you idiots." She then snapped a photo, then moved to examine a scarecrow with a witch mask for a face.

Pyro, Todd, and Freddy shrugged and moved away to look at some of the other scarecrows. Pietro continued to dance in the broken circle for a few seconds, but quickly got bored of it.

He then leapt out of the circle, ran over to the bike that Todd had vacated earlier, and began to peddle it very quickly.

Wanda sighed, snapped a picture of this, and then hexed him off of the bike before he could brake it. "Lance had better get back here soon." She growled.

Lance, unlike his male companions, was not having a good time at all. He was frantic now. The town was quite small, and right on the coast. It had one main street, that ran for about four kilometers from one boundary line to the other. A few houses and small businesses dotted the coastal side of that street, but most of the buildings were on the inside of the road.

He had been told by a local that he would only find payphones along the main road, but, so far, he was being very unlucky. He had found three payphones; one had eaten his change, one hadn't worked at all, and the receiver of the third hadn't even been attached.

He felt panicked. What if there weren't any payphones working at all? What would he do then? He had to call Kitty, or there would be repercussions that he didn't even want to think about.

Desperate, he ran down to the town's small boardwalk, and happily spotted a payphone at the end of it.

"Please work." He cried as he reached it. "Kitty might need me now!"

He placed his change in the machine, dialed, and to his utter joy heard a ringing sound. Sadly, his joy was not about to last. The voice that answered on the other end of the line wasn't Kitty's. It wasn't even close.

"Hello?" Came Summer's voice. "Hello? Is anyone there?"

"It's Lance." Said Lance.

"Alvers?" Summers barked. "What are you calling for?"

" I just want to talk to Kitty!"

"Oh no! No way, no how! I'm not going to let you bother her, you idiot. She's busy! Go away!"

"But-!" Lance started to protest, but ti was too late. Summers had hung up on him.

He let the receiver drop, his fists clenching along with his jaw as an angry heat filled his cheeks. He made a growl deep in his throat and stomped his foot against the boardwalk, screaming, "That bastard!"

As his foot hit the ground, however, the earth quivered beneath him, then convulsed in a tremor so great that it threw him from his feet and he only barely managed to jump onto the grass before the land holding the boardwalk crumbled and disappeared below the water, taking anyone walking on it for the ride. Luckily it was a short drop.

"Oh, shit, piss, and corruption." Lance muttered, his face collapsing against the grass. This was not, by any stretch of the imagination, one of Lance's better days.

Several hours later, the other members of the Brotherhood were really starting to wonder what had become of their missing teammate.

They had tried to entertain themselves by going to the gift-shop. Wanda had gotten a scarecrow doll, Pyro a postcard, Freddy a fridge magnet, Todd a hat, and Pietro a spoon. They had even bought a mug for Lance.

However, they had been at the village for about six hours now, and they were more than ready to leave.

"Where is he?" Pietro demanded for what Pyro and Todd counted as the 156th time. "He should be back by now. Hell, he should have been back hours ago!"

Outside, there was the sudden screech of tires, and Lance's jeep skidded to a stop outside. Pietro opened the gift-shop door to hear Lance screaming. " - INTO THIS JEEP RIGHT NOW, OR I'M GOING TO KILL ALL OF YOU, YOU HEAR ME?"

Pietro closed the door and looked at his teammates in horror. "Well, it sounds like Lance had fun...Who wants to ask him why he's so late?"

"I will." Wanda said bluntly, stuffing the scarecrow plushy into her bag. "Not only am I the only one who's not afraid of Lance at all, but I'm the only one who has any tact at all."

"Hey! I'm not afraid of him!" Pietro huffed as he opened the door again. "I'm just -"

"- GET THE HELL OUT HERE OR I"M GOING TO TAKE YOU AND THROW YOU OFF A CLIFF!"

"Eep!" Pietro hid quickly behind Wanda, muttering. "Okay, maybe I'm a little afraid of him, but only a little, and only when he's like this."

"Sure Pietro, sure." Wanda muttered, stepping outside. Marching over to the jeep, she stood with her hands on her hips, and glared at Lance. "Where have you been?" She demanded angrily. "And don't even think about yelling at me!"

"I just spent several hours talking to the police after I accidentally made the town boardwalk break apart, and sent several people our for an unexpected swim! Luckily the police decided that the wood simply rotter away. However, they wouldn't let anyone leave until all the people had been accounted for. It took a while!"

"I see." Wanda said, blinking slightly. "By any chance did you manage to get a hold of Kitty?"

A slight tremor, and Lance's gritted teeth gave her the answer she'd been expecting. I didn't think so."

"Alright then." She sighed, and waved her hands at the other boys, who had their faces pressed up against the gift-shop windows. "Come on you morons." She called, "We're going back to the campground now."

The other boys hurriedly rushed out and climbed into the jeep. However, none of them said a word to Lance for fear that he would murder them if they spoke. For that reason it was a very quiet, very scary ride home.


And that's the end of our most recent chapter. We're now at the halfway point of this story. Chapter 8 is well in the works, and hopefully will be up much faster than this one.

By the way, that calling card only deal, and Lance's search for a payphone? All the exploits of one Chiharu Nekama. Only she didn't destroy the boardwalk where we discovered that working payphone. She also managed to reach her boyfriend. Sadly for Lance, we're not that kind to him.


Shout-outs:

RogueFanKC: Our camping trips have scared other people, it's true, but they're really quite fun. Plus, one must remember, the events in this story have taken place over a six year period, whereas the Brotherhood are dealing with them all in one trip. Oh and lot 47 is our lucky lot, it has everything we need to be comfortable. Hope you like this chapter. Actually, we hope you're just still reading!

Lt Commander Richie: Happy to hear you like it!

person: Thank you for reading.

Amelia Glitter: We haven't abandoned you. Hope you like this chapter.