DISCLAIMER: I don't own cold case, wish I did though. Then again, who doesn't?
….And I thought things were bad before I realized Joseph was still alive. If only we knew then what we know now. What a cliché! Some days I feel like a walking, talking cliché myself. It's like my sole purpose of getting out of bed some days is to purely contradict myself throughout the day.
Just when I think things are going my way for once, luck does a complete 180 on me.
Just like today, I woke up in a completely different environment. Clearly, I didn't spend the night at home. I made my way downstairs to find Joseph making me breakfast. He was planning on giving me breakfast in bed. But, I'd beaten him to the punch.
I even managed to get to work on time today. Not like yesterday. I never really noticed how time consuming sex was until yesterday, when I turned up almost an hour late. Needless to say, Scotty and Nick wouldn't let me live it down. Even this morning I copped a few puns from the pair of them. Lilly has a sex life? Who knew? I'd tell them to call CNN and act as if it were the apocalypse, but they probably would.
Anyways, a phone call from Joseph and a few hours later, it was lunch. That's when things started to turn. Especially when I headed out to find Ray waiting for me outside. He was sitting on that damned Harley of his. He told me he'd come back for me, and that he wasn't going to give up without a fight. Which was, flattering, of course. And it took me all of my will power not to get on the back of that bike, as I'd done only months earlier. But I had Joseph now, and that meant the world to me. And Ray, being as stubborn as he is, said he wouldn't go back on his word. Unfortunately, I knew this was true.
I was pretty quiet for the rest of the day. I called Joseph before I knocked off and told him I wanted to spend a night by myself. It's had been a tedious day at work. He said he understood and he'd call me tomorrow. I felt so bad about lying to him. It was the last thing I wanted to do. But I hardy wanted to tell him that an ex-boyfriend had turned up during the day and wanted me back, and said he'd do whatever it took to have me back. If I was in his position, I would have preferred it this way.
I was just about to turn off the TV and go to bed when I heard a knock at the door. I half expected it to be Scotty, telling me that we needed to go into work for something or other. Or even someone looking for the neighbors who had the wrong address. Who could it be at thins time of the night? Really? So you could imagine my surprise when I saw Kite on the other side of my doorway. And it wasn't a visit for professional reasons.
20 minutes of pure explanations, a trip to the bathroom to calm my nerves, and a shot of vodka later, I learned that Kite was in love with me. Or so he said. This was the last thing I expected to hear. The last time I even thought about him was when I called him that night and left a message on his machine. Granted, I was half drunk. Ok, so maybe I was a little more than half drunk. I still don't know what possessed me to do that. And I don't think I ever will. Good knows my torch for Kite burned out long ago. A long, long time ago.
Until today, I thought I knew the definition for the phrase 'worst day ever'. But now, I've got a whole new outlook on that. In my world, this surpasses every bad day I've ever had. And I've had a lot of bad days.
Now what I think of it. That's a bit of an over statement. I don't think any day could be as bad as the day I found out Christina had slept with Patrick. But this was definitely bad day #2 on my list.
Last night was probably the first night in about a year I'd spent tossing and turning, and waking almost every hour. There just seemed to be this sinking feeling in my stomach that I couldn't comprehend. For the first time in a long time, I felt completely totally and completely out of control of my life. I didn't like this feeling the first time around, and I sure as hell don't like it this time around.
By morning, nothing had changed a whole lot. Except for my hair, which was more scruffy and knotted than the usual. Courtesy of the restless night no less. Before long, it was time to go to work. I was going to be a crappy day. I could feel it already.
Just as I had expected, the day was a bummer. I only talked if it was absolutely necessary; there was a severe lack of concentration. And I had the attention span of a goldfish. Which wasn't helping anyone, and scored me numerous curious stares and looks from the guys. I couldn't believe that they hadn't already asked me why I was so out of it. Or maybe they had, and I had completely ignored them while I was off in my own little extremely complicated universe. But I'm sure I would have noticed if one of them were staring at me, only centremeters away from my face.
Thank God, it's almost 5pm. The sooner I get out of here the better. I'm positive today would have been a whole lot more constructive if I were put on paperwork duty. Not that I would have got it all done. My mind's way too preoccupied for that. Not that I'm normally that diligent when it comes to paperwork. None of us really are. But then again, who is?
Just when I thought I was off the hook for the day, Will approached me. I knew what was coming. In the back of my mind I knew the guys must have been scheming something during the course of the day.
"You OK Lil?" He asked. Will never really like to delve into my personal life, but he knew something was bugging me. "You've seemed out of it all day."
"Just got something on my mind." I say as I look into his eyes. They're genuinely concerned, I can tell. They don't have that underlying glint Scotty normally has when he asks about my personal life. If there's a glint, they're asking for their own purpose, not because they think I might need to talk about something.
"You wanna talk about it?"
I thought about it for a second. I would be nice to get this off my chest. "Things just haven't been going my way the past day."
"How so?"
"Yesterday, when I left for lunch, Ray was waiting outside for me." I say as I slump back into my chair and sigh. "He said came back for me and he'd do whatever it took to have me back."
"And it's making you think about you and Joseph?"
I nodded back. "It gets worse. Kite showed up on my doorstep last night and told me he loved me."
"Wow."
"You think you're surprised, imagine my reaction."
"I bet."
"You wanna know the funny thing?" I ask as I stand up, grabbing my bag out from under the desk. The boss won't mind if I leave a few minutes earlier, I haven't been much used today anyway. "In the past 24 hours, I've had 3 men tell me that they love me and wanna be with me. Any woman would be ecstatic right about now. But here I am, in that exact position, and I'm caught in the middle."
"So what are you going to do?"
"Squish them all together and create the perfect men." I joke and head off towards the elevator, smiling for the first time that day.
If only I could……
