CHAPTER SIXTY EIGHT
Lost in Dark Places
Sonny spent a long and mostly sleepless night. He tossed and turned more than he dozed on the living room couch, waiting, wanting for the knock on the door that would tell him that him that Alexis had returned home. What dreams he had were disjointed and shadowy, mostly without form or concrete meaning, but they left him feeling lost and lonely in dark places. Every time he awoke, it was with pounding heart and a sickening sense of loneliness. Sonny finally gave up on sleep altogether long before dawn and even two hours after the sun rose, there still had been no news.
He went through the motions of rising and getting prepared for the day, but he couldn't concentrate on any of it. Sonny didn't care what he wore, he had no appetite for food, and the freshly brewed coffee was tasteless in his mouth. He tried to work, but the papers on his desk were nothing but a series of meaningless symbols, and any messages awaiting his decisions seemed equally as meaningless. He delegated much of it to Jason. The phone finally rang but his rush to it was a useless one. It was only another summons down to police headquarters. All through this new round of endless questions, Sonny barely paid attention to them. His focus was all on the phone in his pocket. It was a thankless task he'd set himself to because it never rang.
Sonny told them what he knew – which was literally nothing. He wasn't involved in any vendetta with any rival "businessmen"; no, he had had no clue that any plots were brewing against him, no, he had no clue as to who might have wanted to strike at him, no, he had no reason to want any harm to come to Stefan Cassadine; and no, he had no idea where his lawyer, relative to the aforementioned deceased, Alexis Davis was. He bristled at the insinuation that he might have had something to do with her disappearance. They hadn't had any sort of falling-out. They had no idea that he wanted to find Alexis and make certain of her safety more than they ever could.
Sonny took a rare moment to look inside of himself, and as much as he dreaded it, he knew that he needed to face her, to look into Alexis' eyes, even though he was afraid – no, terrified - of what he would find there. That he would see sadness and sorrow in the depths of her beautiful brown eyes would be hell enough for him, but what else would be there? Suspicion, condemnation or worst of all – hatred and fear. What would he see when he next his eyes met hers?
The powers that be at the PCPD kept him as long as they dared, and so it was early afternoon before Sonny was released. His mood had darkened from impatience towards a deep seated resentment and rage as the hours had dragged on and both he and his interrogators were more than a little at odds before they were forced to reluctantly cut him loose. But not without a promise - more like a threat, actually - of further inquiries to come. Particularly if they failed to contact Alexis within a "reasonable" amount of time.
His anger dangerously close to the surface, Sonny returned to the penthouse. Before he could enter the building, he ran into Kristina on her way out.
"Have you heard from her?" He didn't realize it at first, but his voice was unconsciously harsh with strain and worry. Sonny caught himself as he saw Kristina recoil from the hardness in his voice. With an effort, he softened his tone. "Has...has there been any word from Alexis? Has she called anyone? Does anyone know where she is?"
Kristina nodded. "Yes Sonny, she called. I left a note for you; Max was nice enough to let me into the apartment. The phone call was very brief, but she's okay. She said she was going to talk to Nikolas, but that she wanted to let me know that she was all right." She looked at Sonny with compassion and a sudden empathy that echoed deep inside Sonny's heart. "I'm sorry, but that was it – she didn't give me the chance to ask a single question or say anything else."
Kristina stepped closer and laid one hand on his arm, in an attempt to what – comfort him? Her touch, her eyes were little more than a pale imitation of her sister's. But still, he felt the comfort she tried to share with him. "Alexis...she's hurting now, Sonny. More than you or even I can even imagine. Jax was right - Alexis didn't run from you, or me or anyone else. Alexis is lost in her pain and she... she just ran."
Sonny exhaled slowly, and for a moment, the walls came down and a glimpse of own hurt showed. "How can you be so sure?"
"She hasn't said it, but right now, she's blaming herself for what's happened. She and Stefan have..." her voice caught for a moment and Kristina took a deep breath before continuing. "... had a long, complicated history. I don't pretend to even come near to understanding the depths of it. But they loved one another, for all that they've done for each other, as well as to each other. A pillar, someone that was part of the foundation of her life as a Cassadine, is suddenly gone. Alexis isn't thinking, she's just reacting. Give her time. Give her space."
Sonny's eyes darkened intensely as he looked into Kristina's eyes. "I'll give her all the time she needs. I'll give her everything she needs. But I can't let her face this alone." His voice roughened as the measure of what Alexis must be feeling washed over him. "She shouldn't be alone. There's a dark place inside of her, and if she climbs in and shuts the door behind her... I'm afraid for her. I don't want to be, but I am."
Kristina got the sense that Sonny understood a lot more about dark places than he was saying. There was a look in his eyes that went far beyond the words he spoke. He blinked once, then again, and it was gone, shuttered carefully away. But Kristina realized that there were sides to Alexis that Sonny knew far better than she did and his admission worried her.
She watched Sonny as he walked away from her, his step tired and dispirited. In spite of her own sorrow, Kristina's heart went out to him – and Alexis. The two of them had had every chance for happiness – as opposite in their being as they may seem to the world, they were two souls who had every reason to have and to hold onto a true love and yet that same world seemed to be conspiring to keep them apart. Why?
